Best Definition of Good Intentions
by perfectshadeofdarkblue
Summary: All Human; When Bella's family is torn apart, she doesn't know how to react. But her best friend's recently adopted brother, Edward, has some experience when it comes to losing a parent. Will the two be able to help each other overcome their tragedies?
1. Just Aiming to Please

At the sound of the car horn, Bella turned around and waved to the retreating car

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**, not matter how much I wish I did. **

**Hi everyone! First off, I'm really excited you're going to read this. Please take the time to review at the end and let me know what you think – I'd really appreciate the feedback. Second, I want to explain where this story starts off, in relation to the series, so avoid confusion from the get-go. Renee and Charlie are still very much married in the beginning of this story. Renee decided to give Forks life a try in order to make an effort to keep her family together, even though she does not have a penchant for the small town. I think that's all that needs to be explained for now.**

**I'll try to update as quickly as I can. Reviews have a tendency to make me update faster though ******

**- perfectshadeofdarkblue **

**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**Just Aiming to Please**

At the sound of the car horn, Bella turned around and waved to the retreating car. Before pulling her key out of her bag, she heard the familiar sound of the tires squealing as her friend sped off. Long ago Bella had become comfortable with that sound and now could only laugh at Alice's need for speed. As she turned her key in the door, she realized the door was already unlocked. She hesitantly entered the house. It was completely unlike herself to forget to lock and the door and her parents weren't expected back from their beach trip until much later.

Bella was immediately put at ease when she heard her mother's happy laugh drift from the kitchen. A smile made its way across Bella's face at the sound that she had almost forgotten. It appeared to her that some quality time together at the beach might have been just what her parents had needed. Her mother's back was to her when she reached the kitchen, so very gently Bella placed a hand on the older woman's shoulder. Despite the soft touch, Renee was still taken by surprised.

"Oh!" She gasped, jumping out of the chair.

"Sorry, Mom. I didn't mean to startle you," Bell whispered, not wanting to interrupt the obviously pleasant phone call. It wasn't very often that she saw this side of her mother.

In response, Renee held up a hand, telling her daughter she'd be just another minute. Very quietly, she wrapped up her conversation. "I've got to run; my daughter just got home. I'll see you soon." She replaced the phone on its charger and made her way over to where her daughter was now sitting by the television. "Bella! What are you doing home? I thought you hanging out with Alice all day," Renee answered, while looking at the clock over Bella's head, seeing that it was only two in the afternoon.

"We left at 8 this morning, Mom. Even as energetic as Alice is, the girl needs her rest," Bella answered rolling her eyes. "Besides, they're having a family dinner tonight to celebrate Emmett's acceptance to Stanford and Alice promised to help Esme. I wasn't expecting you and Dad to be back until late tonight, so I made plans to have dinner with the Cullen's. Is that alright?" Suddenly Bella was overcome with guilt. She hardly got time to spend with her Mom anymore because of their opposing schedules and hoped her mother wasn't planning something for tonight.

"Oh, your father's not home yet. I left him with Billy and instructions to fish. I got a call from the resort, asking me to come in to greet some VIP guests who decided to arrive earlier than planned. So once I get changed, I'm going to head into work," At the mention of Bella's father, Renee's face became distorted. Hoping that her daughter wouldn't notice, she started walking towards her room. She called back over her shoulder as she changed, "I'll probably stay there tonight, too, because they're bound to need me tomorrow. So why don't you just stay at Alice's tonight since there's no telling what time Charlie will be home after spending the day at La Push. There's probably some game on tonight that he'll stay there to watch."

"Sure, Mom. I think I'll try to take a nap before heading over to dinner, so I guess I'll just see you tomorrow." Bella made her way upstairs to her room disappointed. She had really been hoping her mother would tell her she couldn't have dinner at the Cullen's so they could spend some time together. It seemed as though Renee was getting called in randomly much more often, and this job wasn't making her as happy as she claimed it would. It was no secret that Renee wasn't a fan of small-town life, but she had decided with Charlie that it would be a good place to raise a child. That was nearly sixteen years ago and over the course of those years the small-town life hadn't grown on Renee one bit. It had actually seemed to frustrate her more, especially recently. Renee would be the first to admit that she wasn't very pleasant to be around when she was in one of her "I Hate Forks" moods, so she approached Charlie and Bella explaining that it might help if she could spend more time in the city. She didn't want to ask Charlie to give up his career here, although he would do anything she asked, and she didn't want to pull Bella away from her friends. Instead, she took a job working at a prestigious resort in Seattle, hoping that some of the glamour would rub of on her, and she'd be able to keep her family together, yet still live the life she yearned for.

After a late movie in Port Angeles last night and spending the entire day so far with Alice, Bella could barely make it all the way to her bed. Before giving into the sleep that clouded her mind, Bella made sure to set an alarm to wake her up so she would have enough time to get ready and not be late for Emmett's celebration dinner. However, all too soon, the buzzer went off, jarring Bella out of her dream state. Slowly she rose from her bed and made her way across the room to her closet. While rummaging around inside trying to put together an appropriate outfit, Bella heard her cell phone ringing. She quickly scanned her bedroom only to realize her purse, with her cell phone inside, was still downstairs where she had thrown in after walking into the house. Even though she had a pretty good idea of who was calling her, she didn't want to miss the phone call, so she hurried downstairs. She was almost to the bottom of the stairs, when her clumsy nature took over. She stumbled down the last few steps, managing to avoid falling down by tightly griping the banister. By this point, she could no longer hear the melody being projected from the small electronic device and decided she could slow down since she's already missed the call. Bella grabbed her purse and pushed the redial button as she made her way back up the stairs.

"Let me guess, you tripped on the way to the phone," a bubbly voice managed to squeeze out in between laughs.

"Very funny, Alice," Bella shot back, embarrassed that even though no one had seen her stumble, it was just what people expected of her. "I was just about to get ready. What's up?"

"Just wondering what time you're coming over." Alice replied sweetly, but Bella knew what she really wanted.

"Alice, I know that tone of voice. Now just tell me what you want because I don't have time to play games. I still need to get in the shower."

"Alright, alright. I was really wondering if you wanted to spend the night over here after dinner." Alice wasn't really asking and even if she was, they both knew Bella could never turn her down.

"I was actually going to ask if it would be alright to stay there. My mom went to Seattle for work and apparently my dad isn't going to be around tonight," Bella explained.

"She went into work again?" Alice asked astonished. "Jeez, that's like the third time this week. She's going to work herself to death if she's not careful. Do you ever even get to see her anymore, Bella?" Alice had a hard time imagining a mother gone so much, due mostly to the fact that she was so close to her own.

Suddenly, Bella's disappointment overtook her and she knew she could trust Alice and didn't need to hide it. "Actually, I don't. As lame as it sounds, I really do miss hanging out with her."

Alice could sense that Bella wanted to talk more about it but figured that they would have plenty of time since they were now having a slumber party. She hated seeing her friend so upset. "You know what will you cheer you up?" Alice sang through the phone.

"Oh, no. I really don't like the sound of that." Bella couldn't help but laugh at herself, immediately lifting her mood. Despite her complaints about whatever Alice was planning in her head, they both knew she would give in and go along with it. Bella hated being such a push-over, but there really wasn't much she could do about it when Alice started working her charm.

"You don't even know what it is yet, silly!" Alice laughed back.

"Okay, I'll bite. What will cheer me up, Alice?" Bella said, her voice oozing with condescension.

"Going to the Spring Bonfire after dinner!" Alice could hardly contain her excitement anymore now that the conversation was back to where she wanted.

The only response Alice heard was the sharp intake of breath Bella took as she was surprised. That was definitely not the answer she had been expecting.

"Bella? Are you still there? Bella?"

"Yes, Alice, I'm still here." Bella growled into the phone.

Alice pretended not to notice her friend's obviously annoyance, "So what do you think?"

"You know very well what I think. You also know, and so do I, that it doesn't matter. You'll manage to convince me to change my mind anyway," Bella said exasperated. She had clearly given up trying to win.

"Oh, good! You'll be so happy we went! It'll be so fun!" Bella could practically hear Alice jumping up and down on the other side of the line.

"Oh, yea. I'm sure it will," Bella replied blankly.

"Is that sarcasm I hear, Bella?" Alice only laughed at the response.

"What else do you want Alice? You better tell me know before I decide to not even come over to dinner," Bella threatened.

"Nothing. Now go shower and get ready! And don't forget to bring an outfit for the bonfire! Oh, Bella, I'm so excited!" Alice gushed before hanging up the phone, leaving Bella staring at her closet quietly.

"Oh, great. Now I need two outfits," Bella grunted to herself while rolling her eyes.

For the second time in five minutes, Bella gave up. Walking into the bathroom, she decided she would pick out an outfit after she had showered. She reached into the shower, turning on the water and allowing it to heat up. She quickly undressed and reached her hands up, tugging at the elastic that was currently holding her hair in place in a ponytail. As she stared into the mirror, she watched her brunette locks fall into place on either side of her face, cascading down her back and brushing against her shoulders. Dropping the elastic onto the marbled countertop, Bella sighed and stepped into the steaming water. Not one to linger, Bella let the fog clear her mind while she quickly washed her hair and body. After she stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around herself, she smoothly ran a comb through her hair before returning to her perch in front of her clothes. She smiled to herself as she quickly pulled out a knee-length brown cotton skirt and dark green v-neck sweater. Bella pulled on the clothes, silently reminding herself to apply a bit of makeup before leaving, so Alice could not complain about her lack of effort to look nice. It was bad enough to be forced to go to the bonfire, but Bella could live without subjecting herself to Alice's negative opinions concerning her appearance. Returning to her closet, Bella slid on a pair of silver flats and grabbed her overnight bag. Trying to be practical about the upcoming evening's festivities, Bella placed a pair of jeans inside her bag along with a sweatshirt. She was about the leave her closet when she realized that Alice would be less than pleased with that specific choice of a wardrobe. To make up for it, Bella reached up to grab her favorite three-quarter length sleeve red shirt. She also pulled her cropped black pea coat off its hanger and placed it inside the bag to join her first choice outfit as well as her overnight clothes and necessities. As she grabbed her purse to make her way downstairs, she pleaded with whatever higher power was listening that Alice allow her to get away with her first option of clothing.

Before Bella left the house, she thought to leave a note for Charlie, in case her mother didn't call to fill him in before she left for Seattle. She simply wrote that she would be spending the night at the Cullen's and would see him tomorrow. As she placed the note on the counter, she heard an unfamiliar song ring out behind her. Bella turned around to see her mother's cell phone sitting at the kitchen table. She picked it up, reading the caller ID flash James. Thinking it might be work and she could explain that her mother left her cell phone, Bella decided to answer.

"Hello?"

A low, husky male voice came from the other end, "Are you almost here, babe?"

Pulling the phone away from her ear to stare at it in disbelief, Bella replied, "Excuse me?"

"I can't wait any longer. I want you here now. I need you here now," the husky voice whispered back.

"Um…I think you've got the wrong number," Bella explained nervously. This call obviously couldn't be for her mother, but why would the number be saved in her phone.

Instantly, the husky voice raised an octave and sound restrained, "Oh!" Then after an embarrassed cough to clear his throat, he continued, "I must have hit the wrong number. Uh…sorry." And with that, Bella heard the dial tone.

Shaking her head, she placed the phone back on the table and made her way to the door. She paused in front of the mirror, noticing her hair was finally dry. She ran her fingers through the roots quickly, to give her hair some volume then gathered it at the base of her neck to tie it in a low, side pony. Smiling at her reflection, she was happy with the result. Simple, yet still looked like she put effort into her appearance. Her brown eyes danced back at her as she tucked her bangs behind her eye and walked out of the house, locking the door behind her. Bella climbed into her old red truck, tossing her bag and purse onto the seat beside her. The loud engine roared to life as she turned the key in the ignition. She pulled out of her drive way and made her way across town to the Cullen residence where she knew an interesting night was in store for her.


	2. Hell is So Close & Heaven's Out of Reach

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, not matter how much I wish I did

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**, not matter how much I wish I did. **

**This turned out to be a bit longer than I was expecting. Once I started typing, I just went with it, not realizing how far off base I was getting. But I'm pretty happy with where it turned out, although it pushed my story line back a bit. Hopefully you'll enjoy it! Review and let me know what you think!**

**- perfectshadeofdarkblue**

**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**2: Hell is So Close & Heaven's Out of Reach**

Bella had hardly shut down the engine of her red truck before looking up to see an excited Alice making her way out of the house. Alice stopped short at the end of the stairs so she wouldn't be walking barefoot across the dirt. Despite her best efforts to stand still, Bella could tell Alice's excitement could not be contained. Just to be funny and annoy her friend, Bella slowly got out of the cab and walked around to the passenger door to remove her bag. Only then did she look up to meet Alice's expectant gaze.

"Come on, Bella! It's bad enough your truck is so slow – you don't have to be, too!" Bella could see Alice silently debate with herself while she tried to decide whether her patience would last or if she should race through the dirt to drag Bella into the house.

Bella only laughed and quickly shed her snail's pace, barreling up the stairs and following Alice through the front door. Closing the front door and turning to face the interior of the house, Bella was hit with the scent of food cooking.

"Alice, it smells so good! What's your mom cooking?" Bella asked curiously, trailing Alice towards the back of the house, towards the fresh aroma.

"Bella, dear!" Esme's voice rang out over the sounds of cooking. A moment later, she appeared, walking out of the kitchen to envelope Bella in her loving arms. "I'm making meatloaf. Emmett claims it as his favorite, but I personally believe he'd eat anything you put in front of him without complaint. That boy certainly can eat!" After laughing at her son's enormous appetite, Esme finally took a good look at the girl wrapped in her arms. "Why, Bella, you look absolutely stunning! I swear, you just get prettier and prettier each time I see you!"

Bella blushed, slightly unnerved by Esme's comments. Bella spent just as much time at the Cullen's home as she did her own, and Esme acted as though she was Bella's mother whenever the girl was in her home. However, Bella never felt comfortable when the attention came to rest on her, especially when it involved her appearance. She didn't understand how Esme could possibly think she looked nice, never mind stunning, when she was standing next to her daughter. Even though Alice was adopted, as was Emmett, she was beautiful enough to allow people to believe she had inherited those genes from her gorgeous mother. When Bella overcame her embarrassment, she simply replied, "Thanks, Esme."

"Why don't you girls go on upstairs so you can put Bella's bags down. Emmett went to pick up Rosalie and should be back in a few minutes, and dinner shouldn't be too much longer." Esme turned her attention back to the meal she was preparing as Alice and Bella started ascending the stairs.

No matter how many times Bella was a guest in the Cullen's house, she never got used to its elegance. The entire back wall was a window, allowing an outstanding view into the forest that surrounded their small town. Bella got caught up in staring out into the luscious green landscape and missed a step. She dropped her bag, but managed to prevent herself from rolling back down the staircase.

"Is that Bella I hear?" a gentle voice came from the top of the stairs.

Not bothering to get up, Bella only lifted her head and watched as Carlisle's darkened figure appeared at the top of the stairs. Despite the poor lighting, Bella could picture his young face perfectly, not needing to see the laugh lines that would appear as he chuckled about her clumsiness.

"I'm not on call tonight, Bella, and I was actually looking forward to a quiet evening without work. So you think you can manage to stay in one piece?" Carlisle made his way down the steps to help Bella up, since his daughter had long ago made her way to her room because of her intolerance of Bella's slower pace. After helping her get steady on her feet, Carlisle pulled Bella into a hug.

"Laugh all you want, Carlisle, but you know you've got job security as long as I'm around," Bella joked back. It was impossible for her to be aggravated with Carlisle's teasing. After all, he was the one she would run to whenever she was injured. He worked at the local Emergency Room, and whether he was working, on call or not, any time Bella made a visit, Dr. Cullen was called in to treat her.

"How do your parents tolerate you being away so much? With that sense of humor, I'd want you around all the time. Do they ever get nervous that one day you'll realize how much easier it would be if you just lived here instead?" Second to only Bella's clumsiness, Carlisle liked to joke about the amount of time Bella spent at their house. However, Bella's good mood couldn't tolerate that much, even if it was from Carlisle.

"To be honest, I really don't think they notice," Bella mumbled quietly. She smiled at Carlisle and continued her journey to Alice's room, but Alice was no where in sight.

Bella dropped her bag on the floor, and flopped onto Alice's queen-sized bed. She smiled as she sank into the piles of fabric and looked over to the dresser. Alice had several pictures on the top of her dresser including pictures of her family, her boyfriend Jasper and one of the two best friends. Picking it up, Bella silently remembered the day it was taken. Alice had only just moved to Forks the week before, just in time for the start of the school year. The two girls had met the first day of high school and Bella had invited Alice to eat lunch with her friends. Bella could only imagine being the new girl in such a small town. Everyone knew everyone, and had known everyone practically since birth. Bella cringed at the thought of having that much attention thrown on you at once, but Alice had only reveled in it. She easily made friends with everyone, and even though the girls were jealous of her great looks and designer clothes, they accepted her into the group. At times, Alice thought the only reason her transition was so smooth was because all the girls were curious about her very attractive, muscular, older brother. Countless times that day she told the story of her family, more specifically how she and Emmett had been adopted when they were younger. Neither had much recollection of their lives prior to Carlisle and Esme taking them in, which made sense since Alice had only been only 4 years old at the time. Apparently, she and Emmett had formed a very tight bond at the orphanage and even though Carlisle and Esme had only planned on adopting one child, they soon realize they couldn't split up the duo. That weekend Bella's friends had been planning on going to the beach at La Push so Bella didn't hesitate to invite Alice along. The picture had been taken while the two girls were sitting around the bonfire they had built. Even though the picture was nearly two years ago, Bella felt she looked the same in the photo as she did now. The wind was blowing her brown hair around her neck as well as causing a flush across her cheeks as she laughed at something. On the other hand, it was apparent how Alice had changed since that beach trip. It had been before she cut her hair, so her almost-black hair was mixing with Bella's because of the wind, and she had a bright smile stretched across her innocent face. Her face was still just as innocent now, but it had definitely matured over time. And even though her hair was shoulder-length in the picture, she barely had half as much now with her no-fuss pixie cut that suited her personality perfectly.

"You know, I could just make you a copy of that picture since you obviously love it so much. You are always looking at it," Alice suddenly brought Bella out of her reverie as she made her entrance.

"Sorry," Bella said, looking down and blushing softly. "I can't get over how it feels like it was taken so long ago, even though it's only been maybe a year and a half. Things just seemed so much simpler then."

Alice took her traditional spot on the bed next to Bella against the headboard and pulled her friend in close. As Bella rested her head on Alice's shoulder, Alice resolved to remain strong for her. It was always difficult for either of the girls to see the other in such a sad mood, but Alice knew giving in to her own sorrow would not help Bella. "Bella, I'm so sorry all this is going on. You know I love you though, and am here no matter what. But this is not the time to think about it, we've got celebrating to do! They may think that we're celebrating Emmett's acceptance into Seattle, but we know what it really means. The fact that starting next year he won't be around to guilt trip his little sisters into behaving better!"

Bella laughed despite herself. She always found it impossible to have a sullied mood around Alice. Bella couldn't think of a better best friend to have; Alice always knew exactly the right thing to stay to pull Bella back to the surface.

"And even though he won't be leaving for awhile, I say we start tonight at the Spring Bonfire!" Alice continued.

And just like that, Bella really snapped out of her reverent mood.

"Why are you so bent on going to the bonfire? We both know it's really just an excuse for all the seniors to get drunk in anticipation of college. Doesn't really sound like that good of a time to me," Bella pulled herself away from Alice's body and turned to face her on the bed. The Spring Bonfire was held the first weekend of the spring, in celebration of the fact that the most miserable weather was finally past them. Bella always found it slightly ironic because the beginning of spring only brought more rain, instead of snow to Forks, Washington. Despite being advertised as celebration of the seasonal change, it was really more of an excuse for the seniors to get excited about all their college plans. It was a goodbye to high school life for the older students and it signified moving up the school ranks for the rest of the student body – really just a reason for all of the students to have a good time together. The school had less than 400 students, and with the exception of the few transfer students, like the Cullen's, they had all grown up together and were all close.

"Come on, Bella. You don't really think it's not going to be fun, do you?" Alice was already starting to contort her face in her best effort to guilt trip Bella.

"If I was hanging out with you, it would be. But we both know that as soon as we get there, you're going to go off with Jasper since it's been a good 36 hours since you've seen each other. And I'm really not looking forward to hanging out with a drunk Mike Newton, who will continually try to ask me out." Bella could see exactly how the evening's festivities would play out.

Alice smiled meekly, realizing Bella had a point. Even though she and Jasper wouldn't be sneaking off anywhere, because they just weren't like that, she could understand not wanting to be the third wheel. Even though Bella was good friends with Jasper, she understood the couple might want some privacy every now and then, of which Alice was extremely grateful.

"Is Angela going?" Alice asked, trying to find some way to convince Bella to attend the bonfire.

"Probably not. She feels even more awkward than I do at these things."

"Let's call and ask her! That way, you guys would at least have each other," Alice reasoned and as much as Bella didn't want to give in, she could see the logic. Bella hated being the one to hold Alice back from the things she wanted to do, so she usually let herself be talked into these grand schemes. Besides, she realized that if Angela was there, the entire night might not be too bad. Angela didn't drink either, so there would be at least one other person that Bella could rely on to not act like an idiot.

"Okay, you win." With that Alice squealed and started jumping on the bed. Bella tried throwing pillow after pillow at her peppy friend, only to watch Alice duck each one. Suddenly they felt the house shake around them and Alice collapsed onto the bed.

"Girls, dinner's ready!" Esme called up the stairs. Both girls started laughing when they realized the shaking must have been due to Emmett's slamming the door after arriving with his girlfriend, Rosalie, for dinner. Before heading down the stairs, Bella pulled her phone out of her bag to send Angela a text message, inviting her to the bonfire.

"Come on, guys! I'm hungry!" Emmett's loud voice boomed up the stairs.

Throwing the phone on the bed on their way out the door, Bella and Alice only laughed. They walked in to the dining room where the rest of the family was seated, patiently waiting for them before starting the meal.

"What, Emmett? Has it been a whole two hours since you last ate?" Alice teased her older brother.

"Isn't this my celebration dinner? That means you're suppose to be nice to me!" Emmett shot back. Bella loved seeing the sibling interaction. Her own family life was so devoid of any such teasing that she truly enjoyed the bickering she witnessed inside the Cullen's house. It was so different from the bickering she witnessed inside her own home.

"Hey Emmett, Rosalie," Bella smiled as she took her usual place at the table next to Alice. Emmett beamed back at her while Rosalie gave her a curt nod. Even though Bella and Rosalie spent a fair amount of time around each other, they never really seemed to click, not for lack of effort of Bella's part. Every time she tried to make conversation with the super-model look alike that posed as Emmett's girlfriend, she was readily dismissed. It was as though Rosalie did not think Bella deserved a place at the table because of her ordinary looks. Bella was just happy that Rosalie was never outwardly mean. Sure, she wasn't exactly nice, but she was never truly mean. Bella accounted that to the fact that Emmett viewed her as another younger sister and would not tolerate anyone treating her poorly.

The rest of the dinner passed by pleasantly as conversation flowed easily across the table. Everyone lost track of time as they continued to sit around the table talking, while Esme quietly excused herself to start clearing the table. Soon after, Bella got up and brought another handful of plates into the kitchen where Esme was standing at the sink.

"Oh, Bella, honey, you didn't need to do that. Go back out there and enjoy yourself," Esme shooed her away while continuing to fill the sink with water, allowing the pots and pans to soak.

"I'd rather stay here, if you don't mind. I can help you dry the dishes," Bella offered quietly.

"Well, of course, I don't mind," Esme smiled as Bella grabbed a dish towel out of the drawer and waited for Esme to pass the plates onto her after she had sufficiently scrubbed them.

They worked in silence, comfortably falling into a routine. The older woman stole glances to her side every few moments to watch Bella, whose eyes were on the remaining members still sitting at the dining room table, laughing easily. It took Esme a few moments before addressing Bella again.

Very quietly, she asked, "Is everything alright?"

Despite the generality of the question, Bella knew what Esme meant. She also knew that even if she answered that she was "fine, just fine," Esme wouldn't believe her lies. It had nothing to do with Bella's inability to lie; Esme knew Bella as well as if she was her own daughter and could sense that something was not sitting right with the girl now. Bella silently debated the possibilities in her mind before answering. She could tell Esme that everything was alright and it would be understood that she didn't want to talk about it. As Bella opened her mouth to say this, she immediately thought better of it. Maybe it would do her some good to talk to someone besides Alice about what was going on.

"The whole family thing just gets to me sometimes." Bella stared at her hands, aptly drying the dish and busied herself by putting it away so she wouldn't have to see Esme's compassionate expression.

"What do you mean?" That was one of Bella's favorite things about talking to Esme; she never assumed to know how she was feeling. She demonstrated all the patience in the world, asking what exactly was going on, helping her make sense of it all in her head before offering any kind of advice.

"I've gotten so used to the quiet life at my house, where I'm usually the only one home. And even if I'm not, my parents hardly speak to each other these days," Bella could feel the liquid gathering and closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. Esme remained silent, sensing Bella was not finished explaining how life existed inside the Swan residence. "It seems as though my mom comes to hate Forks more and more each day. I thought that this job in Seattle was suppose to make her happier, giving her a piece of big city life back, but it just seems like she's so miserable that she has to return home at the end of the day. I swear, she's just making up reasons to go into work on the weekends, just to get away from here - to get away from us. And it breaks my dad's heart. He doesn't show it, though. And how could he? He's the police chief; he's supposed to be tough. So he just puts all his energy into work. He doesn't know how to fix it. I can tell he's trying, though. Doing things that he thinks will make her happy, trying to make life at home as easy for her as possible. She'll hardly ever acknowledge him, though. And when she does, it always escalates into a fight – over the tiniest of things like how he plugged her cell phone in when he noticed the battery was running low, how he took her car to get washed, or how he cooked dinner instead of her one night. None of it makes sense, and when it happens it's like they forget I'm there. I've gotten so used to it, that it's a shock coming over here and seeing normal family interaction." The words rushed out of Bella's mouth before she had the chance to really think about what she was saying. She had never been this open about what was going on between the walls that comprised her home. Forks was such a small town that it wasn't hard for everyone to know that her mother wasn't happy here, but they all just assumed her parents were going through a rough patch. They'd made it 17 years, they would pull through, they assumed. Alice knew things were a bit worse off because she noticed how affected Bella was by it lately, she could obviously tell things were getting worse. Although Esme and Carlisle were not good friends with the Swans, they knew what was going on through the town gossip mill and knew more details from Alice when she talked to them about her concern for Bella.

During Bella's long-winded rant, Esme had stopped rinsing dishes, pulled the dish towel out of Bella's hand to dry her own hands, then placed it on the counter. Bella was still staring at her hands as though she hadn't noticed they were no longer holding the damp piece of cloth. Finally she looked up, allowing just a few tears to spill over and fall down her cheeks. Esme simply pulled Bella into a tight hug and soothed her. Bella, angry at herself for allowing that much to escape from her lips, was determined not to show how truly upset she was through her tears. She thought it was bad enough she spoke the haunting words. But before she pulled away, she whispered her true concern.

"I'm just so afraid my family isn't going to make it. What will happen to us?"

Esme put her hands onto Bella's shoulders and held her at arm's length, staring straight into those deep brown eyes, filled with worry. "I promise you, Bella, everything will work out. Even if it doesn't work out the way you would like, eventually everything will be okay. And don't forget that part of your family is right here, and always will be here. Nothing you do will change that." As Bella wiped the tears from her cheeks, Esme pulled her into her arms again, placing a kiss on the top of her head. "You've always got us, Bella."

Bella simply nodded and picked up the dish towel and began to dry again as though no time had passed. Esme returned to her washing and the two were soon laughing to themselves while they eavesdropped on the conversation taking place in the other room. It was apparent that Carlisle, Emmett and Alice were having a contest to see who could tell the most entertaining story and the amount of laughter that escaped from Rosalie determined the score. Bella and Esme placed their bets as to who they thought would come out the winner, agreeing that it was sure to be Carlisle since he had much more material to draw from. Then they began to laugh, trying to guess which story would be told next – even though Carlisle had endless material to use, he always repeated the same stories time and time again.

Soon, Carlisle began to tell Rosalie stories of Emmett's childhood. After the first story, Emmett decided it was time for him to take Rosalie upstairs to hang out away from his parents, so he could be saved some embarrassment. After Emmett and Rosalie left the table, Alice and Carlisle came into the kitchen where Bella and Esme had finished doing the dishes and were now enjoying cups of coffee. Alice, who needed no coffee to stay her perky self late into the night, allowed Bella to finish her cup before dragging her upstairs to get ready for the bonfire.

Alice shut the door to her room and marched over to her closet where she began to randomly pull clothes out and throw them onto her bed. She spoke without looking up, "What did you bring to wear to the bonfire, Bella?"

Bella was suddenly glad for her sudden thought to bring an alternative outfit for the bonfire. Even though she had vowed pay her troubles no mind, in order to have a good time, after showing her weakness in the kitchen, she wasn't sure if she'd be able to tolerate Alice picking apart her wardrobe and forcing her to wear something she was not comfortable in. A smug smile played across Bella's lips, "See for yourself. My bag's behind you."

Alice stopped rummaging through her closet and shot Bella and curious look, to which Bella just laughed. Alice bent down and pulled out the jeans and red shirt that were on top of the other clothes in the bag. Suddenly, Bella's expression made sense. Alice laughed, "Why, Bella, aren't you going to look cute tonight!"

"Thanks, Alice. You know I try," Bella responded, to which both girls burst out laughing because it was a well-known fact that Bella actually didn't try very hard when it came to her appearance. Whereas Alice spent a long time perfecting her appearance every chance she got, Bella dressed to not attract extra attention. She never looked bad, but Alice always thought she had much more potential than what she generally settled for herself.

Alice walked into her bathroom holding several outfits so she could get a better look in her full-length mirror, while Bella remained on the bed, playing with her cell phone.

"What do you think? Yellow or blue?" Alice called out.

"I think it doesn't matter because it's going to be dark. Besides you're going to have a jacket on anyway," Bella smartly replied.

"And here I was, thinking you'd turned over a new fashion leaf," Alice head appeared from the other side of the door frame. Bella just stuck her tongue out.

"Hey, Angela's in! I told her we'd pick her up on our way," Bella shouted, putting her cell phone down and getting off the bed to gather her clothes.

Bella quickly changed and walked into the bathroom where Alice was standing styling her hair. Apparently, Alice had decided against both the yellow and blue options, opting for a green shirt instead. Alice nodded to acknowledge Bella's statement about Angela and continued to fix her hair while Bella brushed her teeth. As soon as Alice had finished her own hair, she pulled a chair over and sat Bella in it while she was still brushing her teeth. Bella looked up at Alice quizzically, to which Alice pushed Bella's head straight so she was staring at her reflection in the mirror, watching Alice free her hair of its pony tail holder. Bella only rolled her eyes, knowing it was useless to fight Alice. As she adeptly played with Bella's hair, Bella watched the petite girl work her magic. After only a matter of minutes, Bella's hair was pulled back across her crown with accentuated volume at the top. Though her hair still hung straight down her back, the ends were slightly curled, giving the overall appearance of more volume. As Bella turned her head in the mirror she wondered how Alice made it shine so much in such a short amount of time.

"Thanks, Alice. It looks good," Bella said standing up and walking back into the room as Alice trailed behind her.

The girls grabbed their jackets and headed downstairs.

"Bye Mom, Dad!" Alice called out as they passed where Esme and Carlisle were curled up on the couch together. They had the television on, showing the nightly news, but neither was paying attention because they were reading their respective favorite parts of the newspaper. Carlisle waved without looking up, while Esme called out after them.

"You girls have a good time tonight!"

Once they were in the car and making their way to Angela's house, Bella took Alice's iPod out of the glove compartment and plugged it into the radio. As she scrolled through the songs to find something that appealed to her, she broke the silence.

"I can't believe how cool your parents are about going the bonfire. My dad didn't even know I was going when he set me down to persuade me to be careful," Even though all the parents of Forks High School students knew what went on at the annual bonfire, none of them tried to put a stop to it. They all assumed they lived in too small of a town for anything truly bad to happen.

"It's only because Emmett's going to be there. And he'd prevent me from having any fun if it were possible," Alice laughed as she pulled in the driveway of a modest two-story white house. She punched the center of the steering wheel twice, resulting in two short beeps of the horn, letting Angela know they were there waiting for her. Then Alice pulled the iPod out of Bella's hand, scrolling to a new playlist she had made. She set the iPod down as the sounds of "Shake It" by Metro Station filled the car.

Bella and Alice were soon dancing in their seats in the car, as they watched Angela make her way out of the house and down the driveway.

"Hey guys," Angela greeted as she slide into the car behind Bella. "My brother says nice car, by the way."

Alice only laughed at that comment. For her sixteenth birthday, only a few months earlier, her parents had bought her this car, understanding her need for speed and knowing that if they got her anything less, she'd have been unhappy. Alice knew they were getting it for her, but still acted surprised when she had walked outside to see her yellow Porshce 911 Turbo waiting with a big, red bow on top.

"Your brother's home?" Bella asked, turning in her seat to get a good look at Angela.

"Yea. He just got home today. It's his spring break, so he has to head back to school at the end of the week," Angela explained, tucking a piece of her light brown hair behind her ear. Her hair had only a slight natural curl to it, making it always look beautifully styled, without ever putting forth any effort. She was wearing a plain white shirt with her navy blue jacket on top. She had applied just a touch of make-up, giving her big, round eyes a soft glow.

"I'm so glad you could come, Angela," Bella said sweetly, turning back around in her seat.

"Me, too. I think it's going to be a lot of fun!" Angela laughed. Even though she was shy, she really enjoyed spending time with all her friends. Angela was happy that Bella had invited her to go with them because that meant the two of them could sit back together and not worry about being left out. They always had such comfortable silence.

"That's right, it's going to be a lot of fun!" Alice shouted as she cranked the radio back up. The three girls spent the remainder of the drive singing, and yelling, at the top of their lungs, while dancing in their seats.

All too soon, they pulled up to the beach parking lot. Alice quickly turned her car into the spot next to Jasper's, where he was patiently leaning against the trunk of his car, talking to some of his friends. Alice cut the engine and jumped out of the car, and straight into Jasper's arms it seemed. His calm face immediately lit up at the feel of his girlfriend in his arms. Setting her down, he dragged a hand through his shaggy blonde hair as he watched Bella and Angela climb out of the car.

"Hey, guys," he called over.

Bella and Angela waved across the car as they closed the distance between them.

"You two have fun," Bella smirked as she and Angela passed the group to walk down to the beach. Before climbing down the stairs, she turned back, "And don't forget to tell me before you break the guitar out. You know how much I love hearing you play!" It was bonfire tradition for Jasper and his small group of close friends to break out their guitars, and make shift drums, and entertain the crowd into the night. As soon as they started playing, the entire energy of the night shifted, and Bella didn't feel as though it was complete without.

"Oh, don't worry, I will," Jasper called out after her. "Oh, and Bella!"

"Yea?" Bella stood still and turned around to face Jasper again.

"Mike Newton was looking for you!" Jasper shouted, laughing to himself. Alice, who was learning against Jasper underneath his left arm, laughed loudly enough for everyone to hear.

"Anyone want to place bets on how many times Bella gets asked out tonight?" Angela shouted, which earned another round of laughter.

"Oh please," Bella rolled her eyes, turning back to the party scene before her. "Come on, Angela. Let's have some fun!"


	3. We Change, We Wait

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**It's taken me a way lot longer to write this than I was planning. I was trying to get it before midnight, but seeing at that gives me 4 minutes, I doubt it'll happen. I want it up, but not badly enough to skip editing it first. So hopefully when you're all reading this, it isn't too far after midnight. Anyway (and more importantly), I want to say thanks to those of you who are reading the story. I was so excited to get those first reviews. It means a lot that you are enjoying the story. I've got a lot more alerts, than there are reviews and I would love to hear what everyone else thinks! **

**- perfectshadeofdarkblue**

**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**3: We Change, We Wait**

Alice watched wistfully as Bella and Angela disappeared in the crowd making their way down the beach. As much as she loved Jasper and wanted to be able to spend the evening with him, she also wanted to never leave her best friend's side. Whenever she and Bella were together, they were guaranteed to have a good time. An evening with Jasper would, of course, be a good time, but a much quieter time. One of the reasons she loved Jasper so much was the fact that they didn't anything else when they were together. They could just sit down and just be together and enjoy themselves. She had first seen Jasper during lunch her first day at Forks. He was a grade above her and Bella and therefore their paths didn't cross as frequently as she would have liked. She was immediately smitten upon seeing him and had asked Bella more about him. All her new friend had to offer was that even though Jasper was part of the cooler crowd in his grade, he didn't seem to get caught up in the typical high school hierarchical standards. Bella explained that he was usually a pretty quiet guy and that he played the guitar. After learning very little information, Alice decided to do everything possible to learn more about him. At first, she very subtly befriended him but due to his quiet demeanor was slow to open up. Although, it didn't take long for Alice to break through his exterior – it never took her long. It was very easy for people to trust Alice; they could sense that she would do no harm and would always be there to help. Just a few months into the school year, Jasper and Alice started dating and became inseparable. Yet at the same time, Bella and Alice were inseparable, which meant that Bella and Jasper spent a fair amount of time together. Bella really enjoyed getting to know Jasper. She had always thought he would be a good friend, but because neither one was the most outgoing, they had remained distant until Alice pushed them together.

As though sensing Alice's nostalgia, Jasper wrapped his arms around her petite waist and leaned down to rest his chin on her shoulder. He tilted his face towards her, placing a kiss and her cheek and whispering in her ear.

"Let's go down the beach." He slid his arms down, grabbing her hand as he led her to a quieter place, closer to the waves. They settled down in the sand, sitting side-by-side, hands interlocked. Alice turned to her loving boyfriend and smiled brightly, causing his eyes to light up. Despite how long they had been together, it always gave him a jolt to know how much Alice truly did love him. He loved the time he spent around her; she brought out an entirely different side to him, one that he hadn't even realized existed. Their opposite personalities contrasted brilliantly, balancing the other as though forming one whole being. Jasper smiled realizing that's exactly what he thought of when spending time with his love; they were two halves of a whole and now that they had each other, they were complete.

Jasper's smile managed to break through Alice's mind that was riddled with thoughts of Bella. She was hoping that a fun night out would help Bella be able to loosen up and not be worried so much when there wasn't much she could do to fix things. She had watched Bella walk off in the opposite direction that she and Jasper had and felt confident that Bella would have a good time with Angela, especially since Mike Newton had already been looking for her.

As Bella and Angela made their way across the rocky shore, they waved and smiled to friends who shouted greetings as they passed. Suddenly, they felt the crowd disappear behind them, leaving them staring into the ocean. Through the darkness they could barely make out of the white tips of the rough waves. They turned around the take in the scene of the bonfire and to find where there friends were. The large crowd they had traveled through was stationed to the right of the largest driftwood bonfire. As Angela's eyes continued to scan the crowd for a familiar face, Bella became lost in the green and blue flames dancing beneath the smoke. No matter how many times she had seen a driftwood fire, she always marveled at the salt's ability to alter the fire's presence. This large fire was the southernmost point of the party; for the next half a mile up the beach, smaller fires danced, illuminating the shadows of people laughing around them. Bella was snapped out of her trance, when she heard a very familiar, and unwelcome, voice call out her name.

"Bella!" Through her high alert of the voice, she noticed it sound different. She heard the rough voice rush her name now, unlike the slow, fondness she was used to hearing.

Bella looked up to see Mike Newton making his way over to her, waving his arms wildly, and stumbling as he stepped on the uneasy rocks. Bella looked over to Angela, whose lips were pursed into a thin line to keep the laughter inside, but at the sight of Bella's incredulous look, Angela was no longer able to restrict herself.

"Oh, sure, laugh all you want, Weber," Bella threatened, addressing her by last name in increase intimidation.

"I'm going to head over to where Jessica and everyone else are," Angela ignored Bella's comment, pointing to one of the closer fires. "You have fun with Mike."

"If we're not there in five minutes, be sure to come find me. Please," Bella pleaded as Angela disappeared into the crowd. Bella turned to face the direction Mike was headed. Due to the worsened state of his awareness, he hadn't made much progress in his journey. Bella smiled tightly, trying her hardest to not portray an ounce of encouragement. After seeing the amount of time it would take Mike to make his way over to her, she decided she should head back towards the crowd.

"Hey, Bella," Mike yelled over the combined din of the crowd and music playing as he threw his arms around Bella. At his sudden shift of equilibrium, he lost his balance and fell into Bella. She had no choice but to awkwardly return the unwanted hug. She grabbed his arms from around her shoulders and pulled him away from her, making sure he was steady on his feet before letting go. She laughed to herself at the sudden role reversal; she never thought she would be the one helping another regain balance.

"Having a good time, Mike?" Bella let a mocking smile take over her face.

"Yea, I am. I'm really glad you decided to come, Bella," Mike said taking in her appearance, his voice becoming somewhat serious, which only made Bella blush in response. She knew every conversation with Mike eventually followed this path, but that never made it any easier for her to deal with. "Come on. I was just going to get another drink; want one?" Mike grabbed her hand, helping her safely maneuver over the uneven terrain. Bella could only look towards him, wondering how he seemed to miraculously sober up at the sight of her.

As soon as they were on safe ground, Bella gently pulled her hand out of Mike's loose grasp. Immediately, she missed the warmth he had brought to her palm, but she knew it would be better if she avoided as much physical contact as possible. She and Mike had been friends since middle school without a hitch. But as soon as they started high school, their relationship changed as they experienced puberty. Bella's body had grown into a more womanly figure as her thin frame developed curves and her shirts became snug through the chest. Mike didn't seem to have been physically affected by puberty much, as his face still held that boyish charm, his blonde hair spiked up at all different angles, but he certainly realized how critical another part of his anatomy was. And it was this that made him react to Bella's changes. After not seeing each other all summer, Mike was shocked by the physical differences he noticed in his former best friend that first day of high school. Then he had seen her around the new student, Alice Cullen. She was alarmingly confident and at ease around her, and Mike choose to believe that this was another change he had missed while being away that summer. Bella, however, knew that it was because it was impossible for her not to be confident and at ease with Alice by her side. That Thursday was the first time Mike asked Bella out. It seemed a normal interaction as he had asked her if she had plans for that weekend and if she would like to grab dinner and maybe catch a movie. She thought it would have been a good chance to catch up since they hadn't seen each other over the summer months. She readily accepted and they made plans for Friday night, since the majority of Saturday would be taken up by their group's beach trip. As they had sat across from each other at a quaint Mexican restaurant in Port Angeles, it finally dawned on Bella what was so different about the evening – the look in Mike's eyes. It was clear that he was regarding her with something she had never seen in his eyes before, and she didn't like. She tried to draw the line several times throughout the evening, concentrating on their friendship, but Mike never seemed to get the hints. It wasn't until after the movie when Mike leaned in to kiss her in the parking lot of the theater that she was forced to spell it out for him. She eloquently explained that she enjoyed his friendship, but she simply just didn't view him as anything else. He had actually taken the news fairly well, muttering something about how he believed she'd come around eventually. Ever since, just about every week, Mike proceeded to ask Bella out again, and she declined every time. After their winter break, the proposals stopped by Mike starting dating Jessica Stanley. Their relationship had lasted only through the summer, and once again Mike started religiously propositioning Bella at the beginning of the school year, yet she still declined. It broke Bella's heart just a little bit every time she had to let him down gently. He had been such a good friend of hers, and she missed the good times they used to have, but now their relationship was riddled with awkwardness and she didn't feel as though she could be herself around him for fear of leading him on. He had always been such a nice guy and she truly felt it was a shame that she didn't have those kinds of feelings for him because she had no doubt he would make a good boyfriend.

Bella continued to follow Mike over to the keg, where he readied himself a beer and looked to her with raised eyebrows. "Want a beer?"

"You know I don't drink, Mike," Bella answered, almost as a question due to her confusion. Aside from being the police chief's daughter and feeling as though drinking would be a betrayal to her father, Bella had never felt the urge to follow the crowd when it came to alcohol. She had never had trouble having a good time when she was sober, and she certainly didn't need the help to be clumsy. She really had just never been all that interested in it. She always found her friends extremely entertaining when they were less inhibited and never judged them for the things they chose to do that she didn't. That didn't stop her from feeling awkward whenever she was the only one that drinking among her group of friends. Bella usually tried to avoid those situations, but hated feeling as though she was missing out on something.

"Just giving you the option to change your mind," Mike replied. He grabbed a water bottle out of a cooler and tossed it to Bella. Bella smiled proudly at the success of her hand-eye coordination, even if it had been from a slightly drunk Mike. "Let's go join the group."

After weaving in and out of the crowd, Mike and Bella made their way over the fire that her friends had made their home base. Sitting on makeshift benches, made from dried logs, were Jessica and Lauren with Lee and Tyler, and Samantha and Conner with Angela and Ben sitting quietly to their side. When Jessica saw Bella approaching, she moved over on the log and patted the seat, inviting Bella to sit by her. Even though it seemed a friendly gesture at face value, Bella saw that by shifting Jessica had brought herself closer to Lee, and he could now drape his arm around her. Opening her jacket, in account of the heat exuding from the close fire, Bella sat down, as Mike took his place next to her. The buzz of the conversation picked up, now that there was a newcomer to the group. They all laughed easily with each other, remembering times from previous outings, and looking forward to the end of school that seemed impossibly close now that the Spring Bonfire was here. Soon the conversation retreated, breaking down to smaller dialogues among pairs and triplets. The boys then began shouting across the fire in their excitement for an upcoming sporting event that was lost on all of the girls. There was an uproar in laughter at a comment Tyler made and after the swell, Jessica took advantage of the calm that settled among the group.

"Let's play Ring of Fire!" she shouted.

There was a round of excited agreement and several of the guys got up to refill the drinks for the groups. The remaining members altered their circle so it was no longer centered around the fire but to its left instead. Lauren pulled a deck of cards out of her bag and handed them over to Jessica as she began to set up. Bella excused herself and moved around the fire to sit with Angela and Ben who had both declined the game.

Ben politely pulled out of his hushed conversation with Angela, looking to meet Bella's gaze, inviting her to sit down with them.

"What are you guys talking about?" Bella wasn't asking to embarrass Angela, although she was answered by a blushing Angela who smiled weakly. It was only then that Bella noticed Ben's and Angela's hands intertwined resting on the log between them. Bella returned an apologetic smile to Angela and mouthed "sorry" to her friend while Ben was staring into the fire.

"Nothing really too interesting," Angela answered Bella's question. "Just this and that."

"I saw your mom the other day, Bella," Ben said, changing the subject.

"Oh, yea? Where was that?" Bella asked curious. In the small town that Forks was, it was normal to see someone, and it didn't usually warrant a comment.

"I was in Seattle with my dad last weekend. Apparently some clients of his are going to be staying at the resort where your mom works when they come into town," Ben explained. "That place is awesome! No wonder you mom loves it so much; I would, too, if I worked there. And all of her co-workers were great. This guy, James, I think was his name; he and your mom took us on a tour of the whole place."

Bella wasn't too sure how to react so she took her time before formulating a response. That was the most she'd ever really hear Ben say and it just seemed as though he was trying to take the heat off the conversation she had just interrupted. She so desperately wanted to move on to a different topic, in fact she wanted to walk away and let Ben and Angela get back to spending time with each other, now that Bella realized there was something between them. But Bella couldn't help letting the curiosity and jealous take over her emotions. She wanted to hear more about Ben's experience with her happy mother, more about her job, more about the resort she'd never visited.

"I've heard nothing but good things about it. Haven't gotten the chance to see it though, so I'm hoping I'll get to one of these days," Bella answered, choosing to share a half-truth.

"Seriously, you wouldn't believe it. Even the employees' apartment was spectacular," excitement was oozing through Ben's every word.

"Employees' apartment?"

"It's this apartment they have set up where employees can stay when they need to be their overnight," Ben answered harmlessly.

"Oh," and with that, Bella drifted back into her quiet, hurt self. She blocked out the sounds of the party as Ben and Angela fell back into their private conversation. After staring in the flames, she stood up, announcing to no one in particular, that she was going to walk down by the shore.

Moving away from the fire, Bella gripped her jacket around her torso tightly as the force of the wind picked up as she moved closer and closer to overwhelming ocean. She walked as far as she could, allowing the tide to bring the water to the toes of her shoes, without getting them wet. Her eyes remained trained on the flow on the water, over the rocks, up the shore, and back down. She watched the rocks disappear under the water and reappear moments later. She could see the smaller rocks shift from the movement, so smooth, from the constant wave of water moving over them. She shifted her sight out further into the unknown waters. She sank down on the dry shoreline as she watched the faraway waves break with their white tips. Bella didn't know how long she had been staring out towards the dark water when she felt someone stand beside her. She turned her head to see the person's shoes, immediately cursing her luck that Mike Newton, of all people, had to be the one to find her.

"We were wondering where you disappeared to, Bella," Mike said, reaching down to grab a smooth pebble. He thrust it out into the waves, losing sight of it after its fourth skip.

At this statement, Bella became suddenly aware of the time. If they had noticed her disappearance that meant their game was over. She had witness that game before and it never lasted less than an hour. She became lost in her thoughts once again as she thought of how she had spent her last hour. In the silence, Mike tossed stone after stone. Bella stood, resolving to shake herself out of the mood she'd allowed herself to fall back into. Mike held out his hand to her, palm up and curiously Bella peered down. Mike raised his arm so she could get a better look at the pebble sitting in the cup of his palm.

"Thanks," Bella said softly as she took the pebble in her own hands, throwing it up in the air a few inches before preparing to toss it out into the ocean. She and Mike laughed together as they watched the stone sink into the depths of the ocean after just the first skip.

"You know, you really look beautiful tonight, Bella," Mike said after their laughter subsided, keeping his eyes towards the almost invisible horizon.

Bella could sense that Mike was working his way up to asking her out again and she braced herself, running through all her reasons for turning him down, wondering which would be the best tonight. But Mike didn't even get the chance to say another word.

"Bella!" a booming voice came from behind them.

She turned around just in time to see Emmett barreling himself the last five feet toward her, scooping her up at the same time as knocking into Mike. Mike shot forward a few feet, landing with a splash.

"Oh! Sorry, man," Emmett apologized, keeping Bella in his arms.

Mike stood up, brushing himself off even though it did nothing to dry his clothes. Finally, he looked up to see that it was Emmett who had knocked him off balance. At the sight of Emmett's muscles and despite the almost freezing temperatures, Mike replied, "No harm. I'm…uh…just going to go to my car to see if I've got any dry clothes. I'll see you later, Bella."

Bella laughed as Mike walked away dejectedly. "Thanks, Emmett. That saves me the trouble of having to turn him down."

"I figured you could use saving. Not to mention, Jasper's about the break out the guitar," Emmett replied, a happy grin spread across his face. He set Bella down safely away from the water's edge and they walked back towards the largest fire together. Bella's spirit was immediately lifted, just in Emmett's mere presence. Not only was he always happy and carefree, but he acted like her brother. The one thing Bella needed then was family.

They were almost half way over the fire when Alice ran towards them, quickly closing the distance.

"Bella! I've missed you!" Alice squealed.

"We've only been apart a few hours, Alice," Bella scolded, even though she had probably missed her best friend more in that short time.

"Doesn't matter," Alice replied, matter-of-factly.

Alice and Bella took their seats around the fire next to Emmett and Rosalie, who Bella couldn't help but notice was giving her a glare. Bella chalked it up to the fact that Emmett had left her side to rescue Bella from the evil clutches of Mike Newton. Bella smiled to herself, remembering the look on Mike's face as he fell into the water. Her smile only grew was she thought about how quickly her mood had shifted as soon as she was around her family. Esme had been right; she would always have part of her family with the Cullen's. The two best friends leaned against one another for the better part of the next hour, listening to Jasper and his friends strum away on their guitars, altering the entire mood of the bonfire.

It was entirely too soon that the two guitarists, aside from Jasper, got up claiming it was time for them to leave. The drummer had long ago up and left. Bella turned her head, shifting her eyes between each of the smaller fires. She saw that most of the fires had been put out, leaving the beach desperate for their blue and green flames. Almost everyone else had left the beach, even though there were still groups of friends in the parking lot, getting ready to get in the cars and call it a night.

"How 'bout one more? I'm not quite ready to stop yet," Jasper said, more for his friends' benefits than his own. He could sense that those who remained didn't want to be forced to end their evening. He waited until he saw the heads nod throughout the small circle, before he adjusted the capo and began strumming. Without needing to hear more than the first chord, everyone sitting around him knew exactly what he was going to play. Just as it was tradition to end the bonfire listening to him play, it was tradition to finish with this song.

"_Come and go now as you please, your actions write the melodies to that songs that we sing, and you still sing; and I finally found that life goes on without you, and my world still turns when you're not around_" Jasper sang the opening to Anberlin's "Naive Orleans." He strummed the chords in between verses, locking eyes with Bella, inviting her to sing with him like she usually would. Even though Jasper was generally shy, he felt oddly comfortable with a guitar in his hand and had no qualms about performing. But he had learned this song for Bella, had learned it with Bella singing along, and it just didn't feel right without her. Usually she would have joined in the singing long before now, but she'd remained quiet by Alice's side thus far. As beautiful as the music had sounded all night coming from the guitar, to him, it was nothing compared to what it sounded like when Bella joined them, singing. Jasper hoped desperately that she would join in. He was playing the song specifically for her. He knew it was her favorite and he hoped it would help cheer her up like she so desperately needed.

Bella smiled in response, leaving her place next to Alice to sit beside Jasper. As he started the next verse, she sang out with him. "_Is this the way you want it? Is this the way it has to be? Sitting here beside you, when my heart's lost in New Orleans. Dreams come clever, hearts now severed, difference of forever and I am lost there. I finally found that life goes on without you and my world still turns when you're not around. And I finally found that life goes on without you and my world still turns when you're not around. And I finally found that all your actions write the melodies to the songs that we sing, your actions write the melodies to the songs that we sing and you still sing. Come and go now as you please, your actions write the melodies to the songs that we sing, and you still sing._"

They continued the song for the next few minutes, until its end. Even though the song had such a heartbreaking feel, Bella couldn't help but call it one of her favorites. Just imaging not being able to go on after someone leaves your life, only to find out you're still in one piece, living and breathing, just the same as always, Bella thought the song held such strength in its words. She took solace in those words now that no matter what happened, she'd survive.


	4. I Wasn't Born to Be a Skeleton

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**So sorry for the delay. Angular Kinematics took over my attention for longer than I had been planning. (And trust me, it's about as fun as it sounds!) **

**Thanks to everyone reading and reviewing! I get so excited every day when I see more alerts!**

**I think this is the longest chapter yet, so I hope you enjoy it. **

**Let me know what you think ******

**- perfectshadeofdarkblue**

**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**4 – I Wasn't Born to Be a Skeleton**

As the final chords faded, those remaining around the fire bade their farewells, gathering their belongings and headed back to the parking lot. Alice danced over to Bella, embracing her as she spoke.

"I can't get over how beautiful your voice is! I wish you'd sing more." It was amazing how despite the late hour of night, or rather early hour of morning, Alice could keep the weariness out of her voice.

Bella only smiled, leading the group to the parking lot. Emmett and Rosalie waved as they took in Emmett's jeep. Alice threw her keys to Bella, who unlocked the car, whose yellow exterior shone brightly through the night, and got into the passenger seat. Bella turned the key in the ignition, turning the heat up and the radio on, while she waited for Alice to say goodnight to Jasper. When they had been sitting around the fire with Jasper, Angela had wandered over to them to explain that Ben was going to drive her home. Alice had shot a knowing look and wink at Angela, who simply blushed and walked back to where Ben was patiently waiting.

After a few minutes of basking in the warm air, Bella heard Jasper's engine start and Alice slide into the seat beside her.

"Ready for our sleep over?" Alice yelled excitedly in the small space.

"What I'm ready to do involves nothing more than a bed and my closed eyes," Bella glared at Alice.

The two girls rode in silence the rest of the way home. Bella tried to stay awake for Alice's benefit, making feeble attempts at conversation, but she didn't last very long. She rested her head against the cool glass of the window as the movement of the car lulled her in and out of consciousness. When the vehicle came to a halt, Bella jolted awake, suddenly aware of the lack of movement. She couldn't see anything in front of the vehicle but darkness so she looked over at Alice, whose exterior was the definition of calm.

"We're home, silly," Alice laughed, climbing out of the car.

Groggily, Bella followed a chipper Alice into the house and up to her room. Bella couldn't help noticing the utter stillness of the large house around her. Emmett must not have arrived home after bringing Rosalie to her house yet, and Bella assumed Alice's parents had long ago gone to bed. The two girls quietly changed into their pajamas and readied themselves for bed. Bella couldn't resist the invitation Alice's large, comfortable bed was sending her and she crawled in, nearly falling asleep instantly.

As Alice followed her example, turning off the bedside light and making herself comfortable, she whispered through the darkness, "We can talk about it in the morning."

Bella grunted in recognition and succumbed to the sleep.

Suddenly, light came pouring through the room. Bella's eyelids flew up but then closed again just as quickly as her pupil's fought to adjust to the new surge of light. She turned over onto her back and felt warmth lay across her cheeks. Exhaling, Bella realized how well-rested she felt, despite the rude awakening.

"Not cool, Alice," Bella groaned, keeping her eyes closed while throwing a pillow in the direction of the corner where she heard a distinct giggling.

"It's already ten, Bella! You've had enough sleep, time to get up!" Alice ran to Bella's bedside, uncovering and dragging her out of the bed.

Bella gave up struggling to avoid having her shoulder pulled out of its socket. Rubbing her now sore shoulder and rotating it, she said, "For such a petite girl, you're awfully strong."

"That's one advantage to growing up with Emmett," Alice smiled proudly as she brought Bella downstairs and into the kitchen where Esme was in her usual place in front of the stove.

"Alice requested French toast this morning, Bella. Is that alright with you or can I fix you something else?" Esme questioned, without taking her eyes off the breakfast masterpiece she was creating.

"French toast is fine. Thanks, Esme," Belle replied, sitting down at her usual place at the table after helping herself to a glass of juice from the refridgerator. She was shocked to see that the table normally bustling with activity was empty. "Where is everyone?"

"Another doctor took a sick day so Carlisle went in to help out. And Emmett's off running. Apparently, he has a big day planned for him and Rosalie, so he wanted to get his daily exercise out of the way beforehand. I tried telling him to sleep longer and that he'd survive one day of not working out, but he seemed rather convinced his muscles would deteriorate by day's end without it," Esme explained, pulling plates out of the mahogany cabinets.

Bella and Alice murmured their thanks as Esme set their plates down in front of them. Just as they were finishing their breakfast and bringing their plates into the kitchen to be washed, Emmett stormed into the house, bringing along with him the stench of sweat.

"Gosh, Emmett! Go take a shower!" Alice yelled towards the front of the house.

"Calm down, sis. I just walked in the door. At least give me a minute to catch my breath before you jump all over my case," Emmett defended as he grabbed a water bottle out of the kitchen and threw himself onto the couch.

"Oh no, you don't," Esme gave her son a knowing look.

"What?" Emmett looked up confused, not understanding what his mother was saying.

"You are not going to lie all over that couch smelling like that. Now go take a shower."

"But, Mom," Emmett whined.

"If you don't want to shower, that's fine," Esme corrected, and Emmett beamed feeling like he had won. "But you need to go outside," Esme finished.

"Are you serious?" Emmett looked shocked.

"Of course, I am. As much as I love you, I do not love the way you smell after working out." To prove her love, Esme walked over to Emmett, placing a kiss on the top of his head. "I doubt Rosalie would approve of that stench," Esme called after Emmett who was begrudgingly making his way up the stairs. "She'll be here in an hour."

Emmett quickened his pace. "Well, now, you tell me."

The woman remaining downstairs stole a laugh at Emmett's expense.

"Mention Rose, and of course he showers without argument," Alice laughed. It was a joke amongst the family that Emmett was whipped. They all knew Rosalie held a certain power over him. Even if they didn't understand it, they knew it existed. Anytime they wanted or needed something out of Emmett, a simple mention of his girlfriend's name caused him to bend to their wishes. Esme and Carlisle didn't seem to mind how much of an influence she had over their son because it was causing him to be a better man, and they certainly wouldn't complain with that result.

For the rest of the day, Bella spent her time at the Cullen's house. She couldn't think of any reason to go home. Her mother would probably still be at work until late tonight, quietly sneaking into the house only after Charlie and she were asleep, so Bella probably wouldn't see her until she returned from the school the next day. And even though Charlie had been sent fishing last night, all week he had been looking forward to spending today fishing with Billy and Harry at their usual spot. Bella would even go so far as to bet that Charlie wouldn't be home for dinner tonight. Not only did he love Harry's fish fry, but because he also probably realized the small chance that Renee would home. If she wasn't there, he saw no reason to be. Bella was amazed at her parents' ability to forget about her in comparison to their strained relationship.

After the late breakfast, Bella and Alice retreated back to her room, staring out her wall-sized window. In a matter of only a few seconds, the skies had opened up and a downpour was released. The girls, for lack of anything else to do, decided to work on some homework, starting with an English project that was due by week's end. They sat on the floor at the foot of the bed, watching the storm build over the green forest through the panel of glass that separated them from the outside world. There was a sudden crack of thunder that shook the entire house. The lights flickered off and they heard a gasp travel up the stair case. A few seconds later, the lights came back to life. Fearing a repeat performance, Alice and Bella carried their school books downstairs to be closer to the rest of the family.

Being downstairs just added to their distractions and hardly any work was completed. They spent a few minutes gossiping with each other about the previous night's bonfire. Suddenly, a knock on the door startled both of them.

"I'll get it!" Emmett shouted as he jumped down the stairs, allowing his new clean scent to waft throughout the house.

He opened the door to find a soaking wet Rosalie on the other side. Her naturally blonde hair was matted, dark, to her face. Usually dressed to the nines, today was no exception. However, the rain caused her form-fitting jeans to grasp her legs even tighter. Stepping into the house, she shed her rain jacket, which left her black v-neck shirt dry. The ends of her hair were in front of her shoulders, and now, no longer resting on waterproof fabric, jumped at the opportunity to spill their liquid. The shoulders of her t-shirt, as well as her exposed chest, were quickly covered in water droplets. Despite her rather ragged appearance, her beautiful face still held a smile. As she moved into the house, muttering a hello to those within earshot, she left Emmett in her wake. At the first glimpse of Rosalie's wet clothes hugging her model's body, his jaw dropped. He couldn't even pull himself together enough to close the door. Esme looked up at the sound of the wind howling through the door. Wordlessly, she stood up and walked past Emmett. As she was passing behind her son, she reached her arm up and tapped him on the back of the head - tapped him hard enough for him to snap him out of his fantasizing mind.

"Guess we need to change our plans," Rosalie said, turning to face her boyfriend, reveling in the approving look she received.

"Why don't we get you out of those wet clothes first," Emmett said, his eyes glued to her body.

"Emmett!" Esme tapped the back of his head harder this time.

"I meant, let me get you some clothes to change into," Emmett grabbed her hand, dragging Rosalie up the stairs as she and Esme shared a look and laughter. Esme knew she didn't need to call her son out on his behavior any further. She knew how much her son loved being with Rosalie and how he always treated her with respect. Boys will be boys, she thought. Besides, Rosalie could handle herself well enough when it came to Emmett's antics that Esme knew she did not need to interfere.

As soon as Alice and Bella managed to regain their focus, Emmett and Rosalie made their way back down the stairs. Rosalie's hair was still wet, but she had replaced her body-hugging clothes with a pair of Emmett's sweats. As disappointed as Emmett may have been that Rosalie had to change her outfit, he was even more pleased to see her in his own clothes, no matter how baggy they were on her.

"We're going to be out in the garage. Rose is going to help me do some work on the Jeep," Emmett explained as they walked towards the other end of the house.

"Where you found a beautiful girl who also likes cars, I don't know, Emmett. But you better treat her right so you don't lose that rare combination," Esme shot her son a look signifying that his antics earlier had not gone unnoticed, even if she hadn't thoroughly remarked on them.

When Alice heard the garage door shut, she looked up to see her mother had returned to reading the magazine open in her lap. "What work on the jeep?"

Esme looked up, "What was that, sweetie?"

"What work is Emmett planning on doing to his Jeep?" Alice repeated.

"Who knows? He's probably just taking it apart so he can put it back together. You know how boys are with their cars. And Rosalie, too, it seems," Esme trailed off. She shook her head, dispelling all the thoughts that had crept into her mind unexpected. "I'm going to go call your father. See what time he thinks he'll be coming home because of the storm." Before leaving the room she turned back to face Bella, "You're more than welcome to stay here for dinner tonight, honey. I really would rather you didn't go off driving in this weather. Just make sure you give your parents a call so they know we haven't kidnapped you."

Esme left the room, leaving the two girls in silence, working on their project for a few more minutes.

Bella was the first to break the silence, "I think I'll stay here for dinner tonight, either way."

"What?" Alice looked up. Clearly, she had actually been focusing on her work, unlike Bella.

Bella laughed and repeated slowly, "I said, I think I'll stay here for dinner anyway. My parents probably won't be home for it, and I really don't want to go home to an empty house."

"You can spend the night again!" Alice answered, excitedly. No matter how many times Bella had slept over at the Cullen's house, it was always thrilling for Alice. She cherished any time she got to spend with her best friend.

"As much as I would like to, Alice, I didn't bring anymore clothes. And no, I'm not going to wear yours to school tomorrow," Bella continued, cutting Alice off before she even had time to make a sound.

"Fine. I see how it is. You just want to be here for the food. You don't care about spending time with your best friend at all," Alice pouted.

"Oh, come off it." Bella playfully swatted Alice's arm, but the smaller girl was faster, grabbing Bella's wrist before it had time to connect. They glared at each other a moment, pretending to be mad, and then broke into a fit of laughter.

"Ugh. I don't want to do homework anymore. Let's watch a movie!" Alice told, not asked, Bella. She stood up and walked over to the television, grabbing the remote and selecting a movie off the shelf next to them. Bella took her usual place, stretched out on the love seat directly across the room from the television as Alice inserted the disc. Alice backed up to her usual spot, curling up in a corner of the couch, while commanding the DVD player with the remote. She reached over, turning the lamp beside her off, plunging them into the darkness. The only light available was the occasional flashes of lightning they could see through the glass wall, as well as the light that danced off the television screen. The Cullen's typically kept the lights off in their home during the day, to conserve energy, since the sun could shine through the entire back wall, when it actually was shining. However, with the sudden storm, no one had thought to turn any of the lights on. As the first scene played out before their eyes on the big screen television, Bella gasped with fright.

"I should have known you'd pick a scary movie at a time like this," Bella conveyed her annoyance.

"There's no better time!" Alice stated, completely unfazed by the horrific scenes unfolding before them.

Sometime during the movie, Bella pulled the blanket that was draped over the back of the couch over her, mostly using it to shield her eyes. When the movie was over, Bella still had her eyes squeezed shut.

"Seriously, Bella, it wasn't that bad," Alice said, walking over to the DVD player. "How about something happier now?" She said holding up another DVD.

"Sounds good to me!"

And so their afternoon continued. Sometime during their third movie, which Alice actually let Bella pick out, Emmett and Rosalie returned from the garage. They sat down on the floor together for only the few minutes it took for Emmett to get sick of watching the musical. He stood up, and Rosalie followed, announcing that she was leaving. After a long goodbye at the door, Alice and Bella could hear the engine of Rosalie's car start up and Emmett's loud footsteps as he returned to his room. As the movie continued, the weather outside cleared up. Bella and Alice allowed the lifting storm to also lift their spirits. They sang and danced along with the movie as its plot thickened and the characters ended up happy as the credits scrolled up the screen.

Twilight was settling in and Alice flicked on the lamp and removed the disc, replacing the DVD on the shelf. With perfect timing, Carlisle strolled in the door, looking preoccupied. Without a word, he went straight to his office to set his briefcase down and then wandered around the house until he found Esme.

"Is your dad alright?" Bella asked concerned.

"He probably just had a rough day at work," Alice shrugged.

Quiet overcame the house, and Alice sat beside Bella, staring out the large window in awe of the beauty of the forest after the storm. The sun had finally won its battle with the clouds, and the water evaporating from the trees and ground below was visible steam. Off in the distance, a faint rainbow arched across the sky, anchoring between two green, full mountains. They became lost in the simplicity of nature, leaving each other to their own thoughts.

"Girls, can we talk to you a minute?" Carlisle's voice rang out through the house. Bella stole a glance at Alice, who simply shrugged and helped the other to her feet. They heard Carlisle call out similarly to Emmett as they followed his voice to the kitchen table. They sat down, waiting for Emmett to join them. Not much passed before he deliberately walked down the stairs.

"What's up, Dad?" He said taking a seat across from Alice.

"I received some news today while I was at work that I need to share with my family," Carlisle's expression remained somber.

Bella looked around the table and interrupted before Carlisle had to chance to continue, "Do you want me to leave? I don't want to intrude on the family needing to be together."

"Bella, dear, you are never intruding. You are very much part of this family. And where this news may be a bit lost on you, I think it would make us all very happy for you to stay," Carlisle gave her a warm smile before letting his face fall flat. He stared at the table while continuing, "I got a phone call from a colleague back in Chicago. You all remember my good friend Dr. Masen?" He looked around the table, hoping for recognition from his children. Behind him, Esme placed her hands on his shoulders, giving him the support he needed to share the news.

"You mean Uncle Eddie? Dad, of course we remember him. We grew up with his family," Emmett was racking his brain to think if there was a different Dr. Masen that he was forgetting about. The only one he could think of was the man they called Uncle Eddie. He was very much to the Cullen children what Carlisle was to Bella. Uncle Eddie, who only tolerated being called that from his "niece" and "nephew," was more well-known as Dr. Edward Masen. He and Carlisle had become friends when they both attended medical school together. Dr. Masen had chosen cardiology as his specialty whereas Carlisle had developed an interest in emergency medicine. They were best friends throughout medical school and through their residencies at a hospital in Chicago. After finally finishing their respective programs, they both remained there, putting down new roots. They served as each other's best man, and even though Carlisle and Esme had adopted, they are the godparents for each other's children. It was heartbreaking for the two grown men to split up and go their separate ways when the Cullen's moved to Forks, though Carlisle was very good about keeping in touch. However, because they are both doctors, they lead very busy lives and are generally very tired when not working and as time passed their phone calls became more spread out.

"Right, yes," Carlisle was struggling with his words. "Well, I got a phone call before I left work from another doctor in Chicago, who knew how close Edward and I had been." He looked up, meeting the eyes of his children. They were anxious to know what was going on, but did not want to rush their father. They could see he was having a difficult time, which was something they never saw, and they weren't exactly sure how to respond.

"There was an accident last night," Carlisle decided to take the blunt approach. He repeated the facts much like he would to a waiting family in the hospital. "A car accident. He, and his wife Elizabeth, were driving home from the annual Benefit when another vehicle collided with theirs. Edward was pronounced dead on arrival and Elizabeth went straight into the operating room. She had severe internal damage. It was a miracle she even made it out of the OR. She died three hours later, while in the ICU." Having admitted the words, Carlisle allowed the tears to fall from his face.

Bella did not know who Dr. Masen or his wife Elizabeth were, but it was clear they had meant a lot to Carlisle. Sympathy flooded her veins, tears falling down her cheeks. She reached her hand across the table, gently placing it on top of Carlisle's folded hands. He breathed deeply to steady himself, then raised his eyes to meet Bella's gaze. She gave him a reassuringly smile, letting him know, without words, how truly sorry she felt that he was hurting like this. Next to and across from her, Alice and Emmett had their own tears. They backed their chairs away from the table, walking around to their father's place at its head. Leaning down, Alice wrapped her dainty arms around her father's shoulder, resting her own head against his as Emmett pulled his mother into one arm and his father into the other. As the strongest, he held them all tightly, showing that in his father's weakened state he could be the one they all looked to for strength, that he would be the one to help them through this. Carlisle turned his hands under Bella's, now holding her hand between his, making her a part of the sentiment. For a few moments, they all kept their eyes closed, remaining still, thinking of the lost lives that had meant so much to them. One by one, they reclaimed their seats around the table, preparing themselves for the practical conversations now that the news of the deaths had been shared. Alice was the first to speak.

"What about Edward?" Alice asked hesitantly. She was speaking of Edward, Jr., the son of Edward Sr. and Elizabeth. He was only a year older than she was, perfectly bridging the gap between her and Emmett. Alice thought her father certainly would have included the news of the young boy's death along with his parents, had there been that news to share. She felt hopeful that his life was spared, but her heart broke thinking of the tragedy he must be enduring now.

Carlisle steeled his face. "He did not go the Benefit this year. He is fine. Or healthy, at least. As fine as to be expected, I'm told," he reconciled. Carlisle couldn't imagine how the boy was taking the news of his parents' deaths and it only brought his mood further down to imagine being told news of this magnitude. He waited for more questions to arise, but when none came he realized that his family was just trying to process the horrifying information. He drew in a breath to tell the last of it. "The funerals will be held Thursday. I've already booked a flight for late tomorrow morning. We'll be staying through the weekend. I'll call the school in the morning to make sure they are aware of your absences. I know you both aren't thinking school right now, but it is important to not let your studies falter. Bella, would you mind filling Alice in on the work that needs to be done? And Emmett, have Rosalie do the same. I know you're graduating in the matter of weeks, but that does not mean you can stop working." He tried to convey his usual conviction, but couldn't give it his best effort.

The family remained silent for some time sitting around the table. Emmett excused himself to go call Rosalie before it was too late, altering Alice that she should probably inform Jasper that she wouldn't be in school this week. Bella made her excuses to head home, leaving a dismal Carlisle with his head in his hands as Esme comforted him as best she could through her own despair. Bella followed Alice up the stairs, noting the first time she was bounding with her usual energy. Once they reached the room, Bella gathered up her things and set her bag on the bed. Alice was simply sitting at the foot of the bed, staring at the wall.

"Hey," Bella tried breaking her out of the trance, but to no avail. "Hey. Hey!" she repeated, growing in volume each time.

Alice looked up in response and never before had Bella seen her look so distraught. Here was her best friend, who was always there to cheer her up and make her feel better when she felt as thought life was spiraling out of control, and when the roles were reversed, language became lost on Bella. It had always amazed her that Alice knew exactly what to say to comfort her, but now she found an entirely new respect for her friend's gift. Bella gathered Alice into her arms, holding her tight.

"It's going to be okay, Alice. Okay? Do you hear me? It's going to be okay. This is a horrible thing to happen, especially since you hadn't gotten to spend time with them lately. But they know you loved them, and they know you missed them when you moved. And, most importantly, they know how happy you are here. I'm sure Carlisle told them all about how life in Forks was working out for his family. They died knowing you have friends here who love you. And they died loving you. They've moved on, now - on to better and brighter things than this Earth has in store for the rest of us. Take solace in that, Alice. Know that they are now watching over you and will be there to guide you and help you when you need it. All you have to do it ask. Okay?" Bella pulled the frail Alice away from her body. Her eyes were now dry and she was strongly nodding her head.

"Thank you, Bella," Alice whispered weakly, squeezing her friend tight again.

"You call me anytime this week that you need to talk," Bella reminded her as she grabbed her bag and headed out the room. Bella was proud of herself for being able to comfort Alice. It made her feel as though she was useful for something in their friendship. Maybe all a person needs in a desperate situation is for someone to say they understand, someone to assure that it will be okay, someone to just listen and be there. As Bella walked past Emmett's room, she heard a loud sniffle. She peered into the room. Emmett was sitting in his desk chair, with his back to the desk, facing towards the door. Tears were rolling down his cheeks and he wiped them away angrily with his free hand, while his other held a small silver phone up to his ear.

Bella simply walked into the room, grabbed Emmett's free hand and gave it a gentle squeeze while giving him a sharp look of intensity. Silently, she communicated that if he ever needed to talk, she was there for him as much as she was there for Alice. They were part of her family after all. Emmett smiled in thanks and Bella left his room, continuing out to her truck.

Bella rode home in silence, not even turning the heat on. She didn't need or want any distractions from the thoughts that were flooding her mind. She pulled into her empty driveway, holding onto hope. When she walked into the dark, still, and very much empty house, that hope was shattered. She first went to the kitchen, opening the refridgerator, her eyes roaming over all its contents. She shut the door, realizing she was no longer in the mood to eat and made her way upstairs. Lying down on her bed, she closed her eyes so she wouldn't have to stare at the white ceiling overhead. It just made her feel all the more helpless. Exhaustion quickly took over her body. It was the end of the weekend and she felt exhausted. She was supposed to feel rested and relaxed, ready to start another week of school. Instead, she was looking ahead to the upcoming weekend because that's when Alice would be back. How could Bella look forward to a week of school when her best friend was off attending the funeral of her uncle? Tired of feeling sorry for herself, Bella stood up, turning on the radio as she walked into the bathroom. She needed to feel as though she weren't as alone as she was. She showered, letting the warm water and steam calm her, erasing the plaguing thoughts for the time being. As she dressed for bed, she heard Charlie moving around downstairs. Before closing her door, she called out to him to say that she was indeed home and that she was going to bed. She didn't bother to ask where her mother was because she already knew the answer. No need for confirmation.

Sleep did not come easy for Bella. She tossed and turned for the majority of the night. When she finally managed to ease into her R.E.M. cycle, her subconscious was littered with death and solitude. She woke at the sound of her alarm clock, looking out her window just in time to see Charlie pull out of the driveway, off to another day of work. She was glad to see that the weather was desolate to match her joyless mood. No reason to prolong the inevitable, she dressed for school. While eating her breakfast in the kitchen, she saw her mother's cell phone sitting in the same place she had set it on Saturday after answering the strange wrong number. It was just evidence that her mother had not returned home at all through the weekend.

School passed by in a slow blur the entire week, something Bella did not believe possible. Nothing stood out and the days ran together, mixing and melding together. But each day passed excruciatingly slow. She spent her class time focused on the second hand of the clock, instead of the lecture. She managed to make it through the whole week without being asked out by Mike, managed to make it through the whole week without really having a conversation with anyone. Her afternoons were spent at home, avoiding everything. She would just sit and stare out the window, waiting for her mother to return. Late Monday afternoon was the first Renee had returned home. She had immediately gone to take a shower and lay down. Not wanting to interrupt her mother's rest, Bella prepared dinner allowing Charlie to wake her up when he returned home from work. They spent a quiet evening together, not really doing much of anything. Charlie had a game on, while Bella pretended to do homework. Renee just sat on the couch, staring out the window with a longing look in her eyes. When she went back to the resort Tuesday morning, she didn't return again until Wednesday afternoon, and only then for a few hours. Enough time to take a relaxing shower and pack a new bag. In the blink of an eye, she was gone again. And this time she didn't come back until Friday night. As soon as she walked in the door, she claimed exhaustion and went straight to sleep. After the first time her mother had returned home and left in a hurry, Bella had retreated to her room, taking her place beside the window, staring aimlessly out into the forest that encroached on their land. The forest had always been slightly intimidating to her – all that unknown land could hold anything. She often wondered if the unknown was really all that much worse than the known.


	5. Another House of Cards Caves In

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**I'M SO SORRY! I know I've been MIA lately. I had about half the chapter done by the time **_**Breaking Dawn**_** came out, but didn't feel right posting it not finished. Then I had finals this week and barely even had time to sleep. I'll be keeping up with a schedule better now. But here it is, hope you enjoy it. Tell me what you think! Thanks for all the feedback I've gotten so far – you are all AWESOME!**

**- perfectshadeofdarkblue**

**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**5 – Another House of Cards Caves In  
**

It was Sunday morning and Bella was tired of being holed up in her room. To be completely honest with herself, she'd have to admit that she was tired of being holed up in herself. She had spent the better part of the week brooding, hardly talking to anyone. On more than one occasion, her friends at school had asked if she was okay. But since none of them were Alice, Bella faked a smile and pretended to be a part of the conversation for a few minutes before she slowly faded back to the recesses of her mind. The only people who didn't notice her troubled demeanor were, of course, the only people who could have done something about it – her parents. She'd seen her mother for a grand total of almost three hours over the course of the week and, frankly, Bella was tired of playing second fiddle to her mother's job. She remembered the days when she wouldn't leave her mother's side, the days when they would do absolutely everything together. They would eat breakfast together in the morning, clean the house, go grocery shopping, watch a movie, make dinner and take a walk, all in the span of a single day, never tiring of each other's company. That was a typical Sunday for Renee and Bella, while Charlie would be out fishing. Bella longed for nothing more on this Sunday.

Bella couldn't believe how quickly she had spiraled downward since she left the Cullen's home one week ago. It just seemed as though anything she cared about disappeared at the same time. Her home life certainly hadn't improved. Bella actually thought it had gotten worse seeing as neither of her parents spent any time at home, both throwing themselves into their work. Whereas Alice normally would have kept this from getting to Bella, her best friend had gone back to Chicago for the week for her uncle's funeral. And that's what really drove Bella mad. When Alice called Bella Monday night to announce their safe arrival in the city, she had filled Bella in on the exact details of the situation since she hadn't been in the right frame of mind the previous night. Alice told Bella all about Carlisle and Edward's almost fifteen-year friendship, describing her uncle in great detail as well as his beautiful wife, Elizabeth. As Alice moved chronologically through the last decade and a half, she faltered when it came to discussing their son, Edward Jr. Very briefly she touched on the subject, merely explaining how he and Emmett had been such good friends when they were younger. She described stories of watching the two boys wrestle in the Cullen's apartment back in Chicago, of Edward accompanying them on vacations, of Edward and Emmett being overprotective, overbearing older brothers whenever she mentioned a good-looking movie star. What she never described was Edward and his parents together. Alice wanted to avoid thinking of the kind of despair that goes along with unexpectedly losing both parents at such a young age so she refrained from thinking of Edward in the context of his parents. Instead, she focused on him as a part of her own family, which was very much how life was before they left Chicago.

Even though Carlisle and Esme were not Alice's biological parents, Alice thought of them, and only them, as her mother and father. She had no recollection of family before the Cullen's. She had been told that her mother had put her up for adoption immediately after birth and she knew nothing about her father. And she didn't think she needed to. Alice couldn't imagine any other life for her than the one she lived now. She felt no sadness or sense of loss about her biological parents because she had never known them. Simply, she couldn't imagine a bond greater than the one she shared with the two loving souls who had took her in, even though she was not of their own flesh and blood. She understood that the bond of true family must feel a hundred times greater. But she couldn't bear the thought of it. So she didn't think of it.

On the other hand, Bella couldn't stop thinking about it since that conversation with Alice. Of course, she had picked up on the fact that Alice never described Edward's relationship with his parents, how she had only spoke of him when it directly involved her own family. Regardless of what the actual facts were, Bella couldn't stop herself from imaging the horrors Edward was going through. Here she was, slipping into a black hole because her parents didn't spend any time around each other. Edward's parents were gone and never coming back. Taken, ripped from his very clutches, without hesitation. Bella tried to imagine herself in the same situation, hoping some sense of gratitude would be instilled in her because her parents were still very much alive. For the better part of the week, Bella dwelled on death. Her mind would wander in class, thinking of all the ways her parents could be taken from her, just as easily as Edward's were. Charlie was the police chief, after all. Granted, of a small town, and the most trouble he had to deal with was vandalism or accidents in the forests, but the core of his career focused on danger. Renee might not be putting herself in such a direct line of fire, but with all the work she'd been doing, she was spending more and more time in Seattle, which was a much more dangerous city than Forks. And she spent all that time driving on the interstate, to and from, day after day. In the rain. Bella ventured a guess that her mother spent more time driving on the interstate in the rain than she spent at home, especially this past week.

Bella managed to convince herself that she was worse off than Edward. His parents were forced away, hers were not. Her parents were doing this on their own accord. Time stood still as Bella thought this. Bella prayed for a decision to be made. She needed an answer; she couldn't deal with being stuck in this limbo anymore. When she had a decision to make, she agonized over every little detail, but as soon she made her choice, she stuck with it, following it through to the very end. Neither Charlie nor Renee was happy living like this. Selfishly, she thought, she wasn't happy in this current arrangement either. She felt the best decision was for her parents to get a divorce and go their separate ways. But it was not her decision to make.

Gently pushing off the ground, easing the rocker from her childhood back and forth, as she stared out the window, Bella suddenly became all too aware of the time. She had been sitting and staring, and thinking, for nearly three hours. Quickly, she scolded herself while she finally changed out of her pajamas. She vowed that she would not linger over the things she had no control over any longer. This was her parents' problem, and no matter how much she was dragged in the middle, whether they knew she was or not, there was no point in allowing herself to be miserable - not when she couldn't fix it. Bella stole a glance at her clock, noticing that Alice would be home in a mere five hours. For the first time in seven days, she felt an inviting emotion flood through her. She was excited.

Before running out of the house, she grabbed her phone and keys, shoving them into her pocket. Now that she'd made up her mind to be happy, her empty house couldn't contain her mood. There was nothing like the great outdoors to share happiness with. Bella trudged through the yard to the side of her house, making her way to the forest's edge. She easily found the small trail head and dove into the green flora. She continued steadily for a few minutes until she was surrounded by the large trees. Overheard, the sun almost completely disappeared except for the bright rays sliding in between the overlapping leaves and branches. She turned then, following a path that ran parallel to the road. Despite her familiarity with this part of the forest, she did not have a good sense of direction and knew better than to test herself. She did not want to become lost in the woods. Soon she reached her destination. She pushed through overgrown brush, coming out on the other side where a small creek wound its way through the expanse of nature. She was standing in at the midpoint of straight section, but could see no more than half a mile ahead, where it turned and was replaced by dense tree trunks. Deciding to be adventurous, she turned around and followed the creek in the opposite direction – the direction she'd never been in. She had run through the pros and cons in her mind before setting out on her journey. She soon came to the conclusion that she would not get lost, not if she was following the creek. It was as a better trail than Hansel and Gretel's.

Taking in her surroundings while she surged ahead, Bella became lost in the beauty of her newfound forest. It maybe a forest filled with the same kinds of trees, repeated across the ground, but her father had taught her to have a greater appreciate of nature than that. She understood each tree was different; each had its own story, and without those individual stories, the forest was incomplete. Bella became so concerned with memorizing every tiny detail, that she soon wasn't paying much attention to her footsteps. She wandered dangerously close to the water's edge, stepping on a slick rock. Her foot slid out from underneath her and before she knew it, she could feel the wind rush past her face as her body was flung backwards. She managed to throw her arms out in time and grab onto the closest thing, a tree branch, to stop her backside from colliding with the ground. She struggled to reclaim her balance on solid, dry ground, and ended up colliding with the trunk of the tree she was holding. Her phone, which was been delicately placed in back packet, dislodged with the force of impact. It fell to the ground, bouncing through the carpet of leaves covering the ground, and underneath a thick brush. Bella dropped to her knees, sliding her hand along the ground, feeling for her phone. The hems of her jeans were draped over the rocks, the water lapping over them. Her fingertips grazed the edge of the phone, as she tried to lower herself further. Her right knew slid on the wet leaves and her stomach flopped onto the ground. As she fought to reclaim the wind that had been knocked out her, her arm shot forward, pushing the cell phone out of reach. She listened closely, not being able to breathe, hearing the phone hit, what she thought was, rock after rock, leaving the rustling leaves in its wake. She stood up, brushed the dirt off her knees, and forcefully pushed herself through the brush to avoid getting stuck. However, the other side of the brush was not level ground. She nearly lost her balance and was tossed over the side of the hill, she held grabbed hold on the same tree again. She could see the flashing silver of her cell phone as the sun's rays reflected off of it, contrasting with the beauty around it. Carefully, she sat down, edging herself down the hill slowly. After the first few feet, the hill became steeper and she no longer had control over her sliding. She landed, gracelessly, next to her phone. She picked it, and herself, up, thrusting the electronic above her head in victory. Then she looked around. Bella realized she couldn't make her way to the top of the hill she'd just slide down and she had no idea where she was in relation to where'd been. Silently, she cursed herself for parading through the unknown forest by herself.

Bella wandered wordlessly, in the direction she thought she had come from, constantly checking the slope of the hill to see if there was a better vantage point. She found none, and collapsed to the ground, afraid to go on. She stared at the phone in her hand, deciding who it would most beneficial to call. She looked up when she heard the rustling of leaves. There was no wind, so she just assumed a small creature had scurried by. The movement startled her in the silent environment. Her gazed returned to the phone.

Then it rang.

Bella looked at the name flashing across the screen, "Jasper." She flipped open the phone, bringing it to her ear because the equipment had time to register the call was answered.

"Jasper," Bella sighed, relieved.

"Hey, Bella," Jasper's calming voice came through the line.

"Jasper, I need help."

"What's wrong?" Immediately, he was alarmed.

"I'm lost in the woods," Bella admitted, embarrassed. Her blush along grew hotter when her confession was met with Jasper's laughter. "Jasper! This is not funny! I have no idea where I am! I need help! Come find me!" Bella was starting to panic.

"Only you," Jasper managed to choke out.

"Can we please not comment on my inability to stay out of trouble until I'm safely out of the forest?" Bella demanded, more than requested.

"Sure, sure. Sorry, Bella. Alright, do me a favor…" Jasper started, unsure of his next words. "…walk around a little bit. See if there's anything you might recognize, to help you get home."

"I already did that. I don't want to get more lost before I'm found," Bella snapped back, as she remained rooted to the ground.

"Just humor me, okay?" He waited for her response. He could hear the crunching of leaves as soon she stood up. "Okay, what do you see?"

"I see trees, Jasper. Honestly, how do you think this is going to help?"

"What do you see?" he repeated.

Bella sighed, giving up arguing. "There's a hill behind me, I slid down it and realized I couldn't get back up. I followed the creek this direction, but can't find my way back now. Other than that, nothing stands out." She walked around trying to find something that she could comment on, something that would help Jasper find her. "It looks like I'm in a clearing; the trees are definitely sparser where I'm standing. One edge though, its thicker than all the others – it has a lot more trees. I can barely see past them."

"Do any of the directions look lighter?" Jasper asked, hoping to lead her in the right direction.

"What do you mean?"

"If all you see is darkness in one direction, obviously that's going to lead you further into the forest, so don't go that way. But if you can see light another way, there's more sun – you want to go that direction," Jasper explained. He leaned back on the car he was standing beside.

"Actually, yeah. Even though I can't really see anything beyond those trees, I can definitely tell more light is coming from that direction. But it's so thick, that can't possibly be the right direction." Bella was almost talking to herself more than Jasper.

"Just walk through the brush. If it turns out to be nothing, you can turn around." He waited for her acknowledgement. "Okay?"

"Sure, why not?" Bella answered sarcastically. She rushed forward through the brush again, this time being careful not to almost through herself over the edge. "Jasper, I think you're right! I can see the sun now! I'm going to keep wa…" Bella made her way through the next line of trees, emerging from the forest completely. In fact, she came to face to face with Jasper.

"You were saying?" Jasper grinned as he shut is cell phone and put it back in his pocket. He was standing in Bella's driveway, leaning against her truck.

"Are you kidding me?!" Bella looked around, taking in her surroundings. To her right she could see the head of the trail that she started out on and behind her was the thick line of trees marking where the forest met the road. "How did you know where I was?"

"I just pulled up and got out of my car when I heard you yell. I'm guessing that's when you fell. I didn't know you were lost and figured you were just going to walk through the trees any second. But then I couldn't hear you anymore so I decided to call. I was just going to tell you I was here and ask why you were in the woods, but I couldn't resist playing a little joke on you when you said you were lost." Jasper started walking towards the house, but Bella stayed where she stood. "What?"

"Jasper! I really thought I was lost! I was freaking out in there and didn't think I'd ever be able to get out. And you thought it'd be funny to play a joke on me!" Bella spit out at him.

The laughing smile fell from Jasper's face as he walked toward Bella and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Calm down, Bella. Nothing was going to happen. You would have found your way out eventually. Just think, I really helped you get out sooner." The smile returned as he felt Bella expel the breath she'd been holding as though his relaxed manner had been transferred through his hand.

"Alright, alright. Thanks for helping me, Jasper. Now how about we don't mention this to anyone?" Bella pleaded.

"Oh, you know I can't promise that. But tell you what; I'll try to hold off for as long as possible."

"I guess that's better than nothing. So what are you doing here anyway?"

"Kidnapping you," Jasper replied seriously. "No, I'm kidding. Alice is coming home today, don't tell me you forgot."

"Of course, I didn't forget! But that doesn't explain why you are at my house."

"I'm picking you up. We're going to meet the Cullen's at the airport when their flight comes in. What do you say?" Jasper dug a set of keys out of his pocket and unlocked his car with the push of a button.

"I'm in!" Bella raced toward the car. She jumped in and buckled her seatbelt before Jasper had even opened his door.

The hour drive to the airport was quiet as Jasper slid a CD into the player, causing the two friends to let their thoughts overtake them. Bella curled up into the passenger seat and watched the scenery fly by out the window. Before her subconscious pushed her more serious thoughts to the front of her mind, Bella smiled at the realization that it wasn't only Alice who had a need for speed. She thought about how if Alice had been driving, she would have told her to slow down, but it was impossible for Bella to not feel safe around Jasper. As Jasper turned the car off the highway and slowed to a stop at a red light, Bella could feel his eyes on her. She looked up to his waiting face where very content smile had made its home.

"What's up?" she asked.

"It's nice to have you back is all," Jasper answered while accelerating the car forward as the light changed.

Bella knew exactly what he meant but didn't know how to respond to Jasper's comment. She figured he knew all the details of her sordid troubles from Alice, but she had never directly said anything and didn't want to risk saying something more than he knew. "Yeah, well…" Bella stuttered trying to form the perfect sentence.

Jasper reached over, placing a hand on her arm. Bella looked down at the calming touch. "You don't need to say anything, Bella. I just wanted to say that I'm happy whatever was troubling you is somewhat worked out." He gave her an encouraging smile, saying without words that he wasn't going to say anything specific. "I've been really worried about you all week, but I know how you don't like the attention people put on you sometimes so I didn't want to force you to talk about it. I can only imagine how hard this week was for you, to go through all of this and not have Alice around to talk to. But just know that I'm always here for you, Bella. If you ever need to talk, I can listen."

Bella had originally thought she'd been in control of these emotions when Jasper first spoke, but by the end of his speech, she could feel the water gathering behind her eyelids. She finally opened her eyes, knowing they'd be glossy, but still she needed to thank the friend she had taken for granted.

"Thanks, Jasper. That really means a lot to me."

"Now don't forget it," he said simply while pulling into a parking space.

Bella and Jasper walked through the terminal, checking the arrival screen as they passed. They made it to the gate just as a steady flow of passengers crossed the security threshold.

"Does Alice know we're co–," Bella turned to Jasper but couldn't finish her sentence before they were tackled.

"Bella! Jasper!" Alice squealed, pulling them both into a hug.

"I guess that's a no," Bella mumbled under her breath. Louder, she said, "Hey, Alice. I can't really breathe when you're choking me."

"Oh, sorry," Alice spoke as she loosened her grip. "I just missed you guys."

"We missed you, too," Jasper said sweetly, leaning down to kiss his girlfriend. When he pulled away, he looked at Bella, muttering "More than you know."

Bella just glared at him, warning him of what would happen if he chose to say another word about the mood that had controlled her life the past week. By this time, the rest of the Cullen family had made their way to their daughter.

"Couldn't wait just a few more hours to see us, Bella?" Carlisle teased as he pulled her into a hug.

Bella noticed that his normally confident smile didn't brighten up his entire face this it usually did. She could only imagine how hard this past week had been for him. She wanted to cheer him up. "I missed my family."

"I'm just glad to see you aren't hurt. I was worried what would happen to you if I was gone," Carlisle continued to tease.

"Hey! I've been accident-free all week!" Bella defied.

"What do you call today?" Jasper quipped.

"Shut up!" Bella smacked his arm and immediately Alice started laughing.

"What happened?"

"Nothing!" Bella insisted, but missed the look Jasper gave to Alice, meaning he would tell her later.

Next Emmett came up behind his father and pulled Bella into a hug. As he held her tightly for a minute, Bella stole a glance at Alice and mouthed "That bad?" to which Alice nodded her head.

"Come on, kids. Let's go get our luggage," Esme announced, trying to steer the group away from the somber mood that was settling in.

Once they had collected their luggage and were heading towards the parking garage, Carlisle said to his children, "I assume you guys want to ride back in Jasper's car."

Alice and Emmett simply barreled off in that direction while Carlisle shouted after them, "I see how it is! Just abandon your father!"

Alice turned around. "You know we love you, Dad. But we've been with you all week!"

Esme waved them off, "We'll see you back at the house."

Emmett climbed into the front seat after declaring his long legs wouldn't fit in the back, even if Alice slid the seat all the way forward. Jasper started the car and pulled out the parking lot as Alice and Bella made themselves comfortable across the backseat.

"Bella." Alice was staring at Bella's legs which were curled up on the seat between them.

"What?"

Alice couldn't form words. She pointed to her dark, wet stains on Bella's jeans.

"What, Alice? Use your words," Bella had a feeling she knew where this was going, but was trying to put it off for as long as possible.

"What happened to your pants, Bella?" Alice finally spit out.

Jasper turned his head to look at Bella's legs across the backseat and immediately began laughing so hard that Emmett had to grab the wheel to keep the car under control. Bella leaned forward and smacked Jasper across the back of his head to make him stop laughing.

"Sorry, Bella. But seriously, just remembering the look on your face earlier is too funny," Jasper said in between reclaiming his breaths.

"Someone has got to tell me what's going on," Emmett passed the wheel back to Jasper and turned around in his seat to stare down Bella.

"I went walking in the woods. And because it's me, I fell," Blood rushed Bella's cheeks as she tried to keep her answer simple, even though it was understated.

"No. What really happened was Bella went for a walk in the woods and fell. But then she thought she was lost. I was in her driveway and heard her fall and called her to tell her to come to the airport with me, but before I could get two words out she freaked out and started going on about how she was lost. I knew exactly where she was because I could hear her. Let's just say, she was pleasantly surprised to realize she'd been standing about three feet from the road," This time Jasper's laughter was accompanied by Alice's and Emmett's.

"I know you guys have missed being around me all week, but seriously, do we have nothing better to talk about? How was going home to Chicago?" Bella tried desperately to change the subject.

Emmett sighed while Alice explained. "It's not really home anymore. Things are so different, especially now."

"It was like stepping into a time warp," Emmett continued. "It all looked the same, but didn't feel comfortable at all. It was like we were just sitting around waiting for the next thing to happen." Emmett's voice lowered in volume a bit, as though he were talking more to himself than anyone else. "I hadn't talked to Edward in so long, let alone seen him. I feel bad about not keeping in touch better and for this to be the circumstances for us to hang out again. Man, it just sucks. I didn't know what to say." He spoke louder now, posing his question to the car. "I mean, what am I suppose to say?"

Alice just shrugged her shoulders while Jasper raised his eyebrows in the rearview mirror, leaving it up to Bella to answer.

"I don't think there is any one thing you are suppose to say, Emmett. I'm sure it meant enough to Edward that you were even there. Sometimes, knowing you've got someone there for you is what's important." Bella squeezed Alice's arm, letting her know she wasn't talking just about Emmett's problem but that she was also thanking her best friend for always being there.

"Yea, but I felt so wrong. That's not me. I'm not the person who lets you cry on their shoulder and tells you everything is going to be alright. I show my love through humor. And this was hardly the time or place to be funny," Emmett argued.

"I think you've got it backwards, Emmett. I think it was exactly the time and place to be funny."

"Really, Bella? His parents are dead and you want me to make jokes?" Emmett couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Well, when you put it like that…"

"Then how would you put it?" he inquired.

"I just mean that, obviously, he realizes he's lost his parents and that they're aren't going to come back. I don't think he needs any help being reminded of that. And if you tried acting all sentimental, he'd realize that it was in response to his parents' deaths. But if you acted like yourself, he would have some reminder of normalcy. Granted, his parents' deaths changed everything in his entire life, but that doesn't mean it all has to feel as though it's changed," Bella trailed off, feeling everyone's eyes on her. She cursed herself for thinking it sounded like it made sense in her head. Quickly, she tried justifying herself, "I mean that's just what I think. I don't know Edward, so maybe not. I'm just guessing."

"Bella, that's actually really smart," Emmett was shocked. Why didn't he think of that when he had tried talking to Edward during the week? It was his turn to curse himself for his idiocy of constantly reminding his friend on the loss he had suffered.

"Really, Bella," Alice agreed. "I knew you two would just get along great."

"Us two? What are you talking about?" Bella questioned, having lost Alice somewhere.

"Oh, shoot. I wasn't supposed to say anything. Oh, well, guess it's too late now. Just promise me you won't say anything. You, too, Jasper." Once Alice had confirmation that they would not tell anyone, she continued. "Carlisle's really worried about Edward. Granted, his parents did just die, but it's like he's completely shut down. He's like a robot, just goes about his daily business without registering anything. He doesn't eat and from the looks of it he's not sleeping either. Carlisle wants to help Edward and wants to make sure he's properly cared for. He's orphaned now, but he's almost eighteen so going into the foster care system isn't going to do him any good. He goes to a private school in Chicago, the same one we went, too. They had dorms there, but none of us ever lived there since we lived in the city. But Edward's going to finish out his junior year, staying in the dorms and then he's going to come live with us in Forks. We'd been planning to go on a family vacation for the first two weeks of summer, but Carlisle and Esme decided to make it four weeks to really give us a chance to learn how to be together."

Jasper and Bella were speechless and Alice took that as a bad sign.

"You both would really like him. We're all going to get along great. And I think it'd be good for him to be around all of us. I think it might help him realize that even though his blood family is gone, he can still have a family of his choosing, a family of his friends. He's just like you, Bella. You both have such different views of the world, and you both shut practically everything else out when things get tough."

"Oh no, Alice, don't worry! Everything will be fine. I just couldn't believe how kind and caring your parents are. I feel so lucky to even know them." Bella pulled Alice in for a hug, and then processed the last thing her friend had spoken. "Hey! I do no shut everything out!"

"Bella." Jasper scolded.

"What are you guys telling me?" Alice looked from her best friend to her boyfriend.

"Nothing," Bella answered.

"Jasper," Alice pushed.

"Bella had a rough week without you," Jasper answered. "Sorry, Bella. But you know one of us would have told her sooner or later."

Alice turned to her best friend, staring her down. "How rough of a week?" she demanded. Bella remained silent. "I should have known you hadn't been this happy all week."

The foursome remained quiet the rest of the drive home. Alice finally spoke again when they pulled up to her house. "Call your parents, Bella. Tell them you're staying here tonight."

While Alice walked upstairs after Jasper, carrying her bags so she could unpack, Bella walked to the phone in the kitchen. She started dialing the number to her house, but realized that Charlie wouldn't be home yet and she guessed her mother wouldn't be either. She listened for the dial tone after hanging up, then punched the number to her mother's cell phone.

"Hello?" A woman giggled into the phone.

"Mom?" Bella asked, unsure if she'd hit a wrong number.

"Bella? What's wrong?" Bella could hear a rustling through the phone line.

"Nothing. I just wasn't sure if it was you at first. Are you at work?"

"Of course, where else would I be?" Maybe home, Bella thought. "I'm on a break. What's going on?" Bella could hear another person talking mumbling something to her mother, but couldn't make out what they were saying. She could hear her mother's giggling response.

"Just wanted to let you know I'm going to stay at Alice's tonight." Bella decided it was either to tell her instead of ask for permission. She could hear her mother gasp on the other end, and assumed it was from the authoritative tone she'd just taken.

"Mhm. Sure, sweetie." Rene sounded out of breath. "I gotta get back to work. We'll talk later." Then she heard the click of the phone dying. Bella replaced the phone in its cradle as Emmett came down the stairs.

"Where are you off to?" Bella asked when she saw Emmett's keys in his hand.

"I'm going over to Rose's."

"Want to give me a lift?"

"Sure, your house is on the way."

"Let me tell Alice." Bella ran upstairs and told Alice that Emmett was going to bring her home so she could grab clothes and that she'd be back.

Bella tried talking to Emmett while his jeep made his way across their small town, but he seemed to be in too somber a mood. Bella only hoped that Rosalie would be able to say something to comfort him. She never knew Emmett to be so quiet. Once instead her quaint home, Bella quickly gathered some clothes, and left a note for her father. She told him that she talked to Renee and that she'd see him tomorrow night for dinner. She mentioned maybe she'd make his favorite fish fry if brought home a good enough catch. Bella was trying to make things easier for her father. Seeing how hard everything was on her, she could only imagine how hard it must be for him. He wasn't even putting up a fight anymore. Her red truck rumbled to life and she made her way back across town, feeling herself slip back into the hole she'd lived in during the past week. At least peace had been fun while it lasted.


	6. Just Getting Up for the Letdown

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**Enjoy! And as always, let me know what you think. **

**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**6 – Just Getting Up for the Letdown**

Alice pulled back the covers to her bed and slid in, followed by Bella when she finished changing in the bathroom. It was a sleep-over like none before. The two girls spent the evening simply being. Alice's normally active personality was toned down and neither girl knew if it was because she herself was feeling less than happy or if she was awarding Bella the much needed relaxation. At least sleep came easy to Bella that night. As soon as the light was turned off and she closed her eyes, she fell into a deep sleep.

Alice, on the other hand, was plagued by disturbing dreams. The first time she woke during the night, she tried to shake the images from her mind and allowed herself to be pulled back under sleep's blanket. Merely an hour later, she awoke again. Instead of falling back asleep right away, she watched her dream flash before her eyes, trying to make sense of it. Shrugging it off, she tried her hand at sleep once more, only to be jolted awake again. She glanced at the alarm clock, which was scheduled to go off in another half hour. Alice got out of the bed, deciding she might as well get up and just have the extra time to get ready. As she walked downstairs, she noticed that no one else in her family was awake. She sat down on the couch and turned the television on. She quickly changed the channel until she found one filled with mindless cartoons. She lay back on the pillows and closed her eyes.

Immediately, her mind was filled with the pictures that filled her sleep. She was on an airplane, standing at the front looking towards all the other passengers. She smiled at the sight of her family towards the back of the plane. Emmett was leaning forward to speak to Carlisle and Esme, who were sitting in the row ahead of him. There was an empty seat next to him that Alice started to walk towards. Out the small window, a bright flash caught Alice's eye. She stopped next to a row where a small boy was sitting, playing with a red truck. Before she took a closer look out the window, she looked at the boy, immediately recognizing him. It was an eight-year-old version of Edward. He was dressed, and looked identical, to a photo the Cullen's had in their house of all the kids at that age. The young boy looked up, flashing a friendly smile of recognition and holding out the truck he had been playing with. Turning it over in her hand, Alice realized that it was an exact replica of Bella's loud monster of a truck. In fact, it had the same license plate number and school parking sticker on the bumper. Alice's focus was diverted when the bright flash stole her attention again. She leaned down, looking out the window. Alice gasped, jumping back in surprise. The wing was on fire! A huge wave of orange, yellow and red was inching its way closer to the cabin. Suddenly, Alice could feel the heat in the air. Looking down, she saw the plastic of Bella's toy truck melting into her palms. Panic took over. Someone had to do something. She looked back towards her family, but they remained where they had been, showing no signs of what was going on out their window. Alice looked back towards the cockpit, hoping to see a flight attendant to find out what was going on. When she noticed the door was open, Alice walked into the cockpit. She put her hand on the shoulder of the pilot, turning him towards her. At the sight of Edward, at his current age, sitting with his hands on the controls, Alice woke up.

"Alice!" Someone was shaking her shoulder, yelling her name. She opened her eyes to see Bella staring down at her. Her breathing was heavy, but her efforts to calm herself weren't working.

"Alice! What's wrong?"

"I...I…I don't know. I was having a bad dream," she stammered.

"What happened?" Bella's voice was full of concern.

"I was on a plane," Alice's mind was filled with the scene as she tried to recant her dream. "Your truck was there and Edward. But he was eight years old. And then Edward was piloting the plane."

"Alice, calm down. My truck was on the plane? And an eight year-old Edward was flying the plane?"

"No, no. A toy of your truck. And there were two Edwards, an eight year-old and then the real Edward was the pilot. I don't know. Nothing made sense. There was a fire, and I was the only one who could see it. But I couldn't do anything."

Bella remained silent, watching Alice. She was waiting for her to make more sense of this nightmare.

"I couldn't do anything," Alice repeated quieter.

"Girls! What are you doing? If you don't hurry up and get dressed, you'll be late to school," Esme called out as she made her way down the stairs to start a pot of coffee.

Alice lifted herself off the couch, pulling Bella up the stairs after her. Alice quickly began to get ready for school as Bella stood in the doorway, unable to move.

"Bella, come on! Get dressed! We're going to be late. And I was suppose to meet Jasper at school early this morning," Alice threw Bella's bag at her.

"Alice, are you okay? I've never seen you that worked up about a dream. I came downstairs when I woke up because you weren't here anymore. You were on the couch, yelling and muttering in your sleep. I'm surprised no one else heard and came down. It sounded like you were in pain," Bella made no move to get ready.

"Bella. I'm fine. It was just a bad dream, now please can we just forget it?" Alice pleaded.

Instead of responding, Bella started getting ready.

School that day, as well as everyday that week, dragged on. Alice's mood continued to be muted a little more everyday. In an effort to help Alice, Bella tried to be the cheery one. She tried to spark excitement in Alice by talking about the shopping trip in Seattle they had planned for the upcoming weekend. She tried reenacting the stories of Mike asking Bella out countless times. She tried to get Alice to squeal over Angela's new relationship with Ben. She tried to talk Alice into a beach trip. Nothing worked. Alice remained stoic and un-amused. Every afternoon, Bella would return home exhausted. She didn't understand how Alice acted so excited on such an unwavering scheduled. After just a few days, Bella could hardly stand it. Maybe it was because Alice wasn't faking her happiness and excitement. Bella would do her homework each afternoon and cook dinner for her father, who would come home late each night and leave early for work each morning, giving Bella only a few waking hours with him each day. Renee was home this week even less than she was the week before. And when she was home, she was in even more of a bad mood than normal. On Wednesday, Renee actually made it home for dinner. She walked in the door just as Bella was dumping a bag of rice into the boiling water on the stove.

"What are you making?" Renee asked.

Bella looked up and stared at her mother. She had been too involved in cooking that she hadn't heard the front door open. Instead of being happy about finally seeing her mother this week, she was automatically annoyed at the tone her mother had taken with her. Bella was annoyed that her mother couldn't say hello and give her a hug first.

"Chicken enchiladas," Bella answered, turning back to the food.

"Why? You know I hate Mexican food," Renee put her purse down, plugging her cell phone in to be charged.

"So?" This time Bella turned around to face her mother. She couldn't believe what her mother was saying. And she wouldn't put up with it.

"Excuse me, young lady, but you will not talk back to your mother," Renee scolded.

Bella rolled her eyes at her mother's attempt to act like a parent.

"Bella! You can drop this attitude right now!"

"Or what, Mom?" the daughter shot back.

"I'm not going to threaten you with a punishment, Bella. But you need to treat your mother with some respect."

"Mother? Is that what you call yourself?" Bella couldn't hold back. All of her anger that she'd kept bottled up for the past few months came flooding out.

"What is that suppose to mean?" Renee's temper was starting to flare. She was raising her voice, something she hardly ever did.

"You know very well what it means."

"I'd like you to explain it to me," Renee was trying her hardest to control her voice. Her daughter was right, she knew exactly what she was saying, but it didn't mean she didn't need to hear it from someone else. Renee thought it might do her some good to have her daughter call her out on her poor behavior.

"Seriously?" Bella waited for an answer but Renee only stared back at her. "Fine. I'll tell you. Mom, you've hardly been around anymore. Today is Wednesday. The last time I actually talked to you was on Sunday and that was on the phone! I can't even remember the last time I saw you. And now, you come home, for once. And what do you do? The first thing you do is yell at me for cooking something you don't like! Really? No 'Hi, Bella. I missed you, sweetie.' No hug. No nothing. Like you honestly were expecting me to assume you'd be home for dinner. And you're expecting me to be cooking? You do realize that before you decided you were too good to spend time with your family, you cooked dinner every night. You know Dad can't cook, so thanks for leaving me the responsibility of cooking. Oh, and to take care of Dad, too." Bella turned her back, facing the stove. She placed her hand on the countertop, trying to steady herself.

"Your father can very well take care of himself, Bella." Of all the things to address in Bella's tirade, she picked that one? Bella's anger took control again.

"No, Mom, he can't. He can't because he's heartbroken that his wife isn't around anymore," Bella calmed herself before continuing. "Look, Mom. I know you don't like Forks. I know this new job in Seattle is great, but do you realize what you're doing to our family? This is tearing us apart. Dad won't talk about it and I really can't deal with anymore right now. So why don't you just decide what you want so that we can all move on."

The sizzling on the stove was the only sound for almost five minutes. Bella thought her mother had left the room.

She spoke so quietly as first that Bella almost didn't hear her.

"You're right."

"What?" Bella placed the tray in the oven, slamming the door.

"You're right," Renee's voice was still quiet. Bella could see the moisture on her mother's cheeks reflect the light. "You're right, Bella. I haven't been acting like much of a mother or a wife. But I'm going to fix that. Tomorrow, I'll go down to the resort and quit. I'll be home again. I'll cook dinner and I'll take care of Charlie. And you. I'll take care of my family."

Bella watched Renee walk out of the kitchen and into her bedroom. When Charlie arrived home for dinner, Renee still hadn't come out.

After hanging up his gun belt, Charlie noticed Renee's purse on the counter next to her charging cell phone.

"Is your mother home, Bella?" Charlie leaned down and kissed Bella's head as she prepared two plates for dinner. Bella was stunned. Charlie didn't show affection, ever. He must be happy at the prospect of his wife being home for once.

"Yea, she is, Dad," Bella said with a smile, showing her father that everything was going to be alright. "You know she's not much of Mexican fan, so she went to lie down instead. She seemed really tired so I figure we could just let her sleep."

"Good idea, kid. She's been working so much lately, I was beginning to wonder whether she ever slept."

"She said she's going to quit her job tomorrow," Bella decided to tell her father because then Renee couldn't back out.

"Really?" Charlie looked up in surprise.

"Yea. She said she missed being home with us," Bella lied. Her father didn't need to know the finer details when the end result was the important part.

"That's great news."

Bella and Charlie then fell into the comfortable silence for the rest of dinner. After they finished their meals, Bella cleared the table and returned to her room to finish her math assignment. As she got ready for bed that night, she could hear muted voices drift up the stairs. Normally, the voices would be much louder and sound much angrier at this time of night if both of her parents were home. Hope was making a home in Bella's heart as she settled into bed. Giving into slumber, she tried to keep the hope at bay in an effort to save herself from the pain that would come if her mother didn't change her ways. Before falling asleep, the last thought Bella had was of all the things she and her mother could this during the upcoming weekend if she wasn't working.

While she was sleeping, the hope managed to grab hold of her thoughts and refused to let go. Both Renee and Charlie had already left for the morning by the time she was getting ready for school. She didn't know whether to take her mother's absence as a good or a bad sign, but the hope made her believe she'd have her answer by the end of the day. Bella could barely contain her excitement as she made her way into the school and she looked for her best friend to share it with. Alice was, once-again, showcasing her subdued attitude, but her eyes immediately brightened at the obvious happiness that Bella displayed. Bella, though, was hesitant to give reason. Only Alice would understand how extremely happy she was at the possibilities, but at the same time, only Alice would know how truly horrible she would feel if those possibilities returned to their drea-like states.

"What's going on?" Alice's eyes were dancing once again and Bella had a hard time denying her best friend anything that would give those eyes further reason to sparkle.

"I got in a fight with my mom last night," Bella purposely said only little, making the story more dramatic.

"I'm going to assume that's a good thing since you're so chipper this morning. That at least means you spent some time with her, even if you were yelling at each other," Alice's eyes moved towards the door at the sign of Ms. Howell, their Algebra II teacher, preparing the begin class.

"Well, yea. But besides that, she told me she was going to quit her job," The limited time cause Bella to blurt out the things she was trying to hold back. At the sight of Alice's grin, Bella sighed, thinking that if her problems and Alice's were solved all at once, the better. Maybe the problem was that Alice couldn't deal with all the sadness going on in the lives around her, maybe she just needed to see some happiness in the world.

Alice squealed in delight as Ms. Howell called the class to attention. The rest of the school day passed by in a blur. The black hole that had claimed Alice throughout the week was suddenly gone, and Bella reveled in the fact that her life seemed to be turning around. Not only was her best friend back to her cheerful, pixie self but her family was also on the road to recovery.

Her good mood only improved at the sight of her mother's car in the driveway as Bella pulled into the driveway that afternoon.

"Hey, Mom!" Bella called out, stumbling through the front door.

"In the kitchen, sweetie!" So far, so good, Bella thought.

Bella dropped her school bag at the foot of the stairs and walked into the kitchen where her mother was standing, hands on her hips staring into a bowl on the counter.

"What are you making?" Bella peered into the bowl.

"They were suppose to be cookies, but something's missing and I can't figure out what," Renee's frustration was apparent as she wiped her hair off her face, smudging her forehead with flour.

Bella dug through the spice cabinet until she found what she was looking for. She held out the small, dark bottle for her mother to take. "Add a tablespoon of vanilla," she instructed.

Renee did as she was told then mixed the ingredients thoroughly. She scooped some onto the wooden spoon and handed it across the island for Bella to try.

"Mmm. Perfect!"

As Renee spread spoonfuls of cookie dough onto the tray, Bella noticed the cell phone lighting up.

"Hey, Mom. I think someone's trying to call you. Your cell phone's lighting up. Is it on silent?" Bella handed the phone to her mother, without looking at the caller ID. Renee took the phone and while glancing at the name, pushed the "ignore" button.

"It's just the resort. I don't feel like talking to them." She finished dolling out the dough then slid the tray into the pre-heated oven. Renee washed her hands in the sink as she and Bella noticed her cell phone lighting up again. "Just hit ignore for me, please," she instructed her daughter.

Bella lifted the cell phone, thumb poised above the red button when she saw the name "James" scroll across the screen. "I don't think its work this time. It says James."

"That's still work. James is one of the managers, he's probably calling from his phone as he's walking around. Just hit ignore," Renee waved it off. She dried off her hands and sat at the bar stool next to her daughter. "I was thinking maybe we could plan a trip to Port Angeles this weekend. Get lunch, do a little shopping. I know you've got plans with Alice, but I feel so bad that we've spent so little time together lately. Do you think she would mind if I stole you for the day?"

"Of course not, Mom! She won't mind at all. And I'd love to go to Port Angeles with you."

"Great! I was thinking we could go earlier in the morning since Charlie's going fishing with Billy then. Your father was telling me that Billy's daughters are in town this week and I haven't seen them in forever. I thought it might be nice if we joined them in La Push after we got back from Port Angeles and had dinner together. What do you think?"

"I'd really like that. I'm going to go call Alice and let her know about the change in plans, and then I'm going to get some homework done. I've got a math test on Friday and I'm really having trouble with this unit. Let me know when the cookies are ready, will you?" Bella got up and hugged her mother, then headed up the stairs, ready for the weekend to start.


	7. Somewhere Weakness is Our Strength

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**.**

**All of you who are reviewing are seriously AWESOME! Thanks so much for your input and I hope I keep on making you happy! **

**There's a short A/N at the bottom of the chapter, so be sure to check it out.**

**- perfectshadeofdarkblue**

* * *

**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**7 – Somewhere Weakness is Our Strength**

It seemed Alice's personality was fully restored and she couldn't have been happier for Bella. Upon hearing of Bella's change in plans for the weekend, she spoke to her mother and changed her plans as well. She was still planning on going shopping in Seattle, but instead of redecorating her own bedroom, she and Esme were going to prepare Edward's room for when he joined their family. There was an extra room on the second floor that shared a bathroom with Emmett's room and was across from her own room, but they wanted to do something special for the newest addition to the Cullen clan so he would feel more welcome and comfortable. The third floor of their house was merely an open space. Half as large as the other floors, it was more like a loft than anything else. And like the rest of the house, the back wall was entirely glass, providing the best view of the surrounding forest. Esme had always had ideas of what to do with the rest of the room, but never got any farther than adding a soft, black leather couch. Hardwood lined the half of the floor closest to the stairs while the other half was covered in a plush almost-gold carpet.

While Alice and Esme were canvassing the streets of Seattle rifling through the choices of beds, lamps and armoires, Renee and Bella were nestled into a small café, enjoying a cup of coffee while looking out on the rainy streets of Port Angeles. They had plans to leisurely walk throughout the city, stopping in stores that piqued their interests but the dreary weather put a damper on their plans. Any bystander would have thought these were the plans they had originally made for the day judging by how their mood's reflected it. Nothing could upset either today.

The first part of their morning had transpired without a hitch. Renee had claimed that Bella was going to need a dress to wear for the graduation ceremony that was only a few weeks away. After deciding on a basic navy blue sundress, they moved onto finding a suitable pair of shoes to match, where Bella proceeded to showcase her lack of balance. Trying on heel after heel, she stumbled her way around the store until she found a pair she could walk in. Once the bags were safely stored in trunk of Renee's car, a light rain had begun to fall. The mother and daughter continued roaming the streets until the precipitation started to fall more steadily. Quickly they ducked into a quaint café where they ordered lunch and enjoyed people watching while catching up.

Despite Renee's recent distance from the family, she still seemed to be fairly in-tune with the goings-on of Bella's life. She asked why she and Alice hadn't been hanging out with Angela as much lately, to which Bella explained Angela's new relationship with Ben. Renee gushed, recalling elementary school memories when Bella, Angela and Ben had all been in the same class. He was always such a sweet boy, she exclaimed. Then unexpectedly, Renee turned the attention to Bella.

"And what about you, dear? Anyone catching your eye?" Renee delicately sipped her tea, trying to remain nonchalant. She didn't want her daughter to think she was prying. She was merely asking out of curiosity.

For a moment, Bella was stunned. She didn't know how to respond. "Uh, well. Umm…no, not really," she managed to stammer.

"You're such a beautiful girl; you could have any boy you like. There's no need to rush into dating just anyone. Just wait for the right boy to come along," Renee advised.

Bella couldn't hold back her laughter. Sarcastically, she said, "Yea, Mom. That's the problem – I'm too picky."

Renee stared at her blankly, waiting for further explanation.

"It's not like there's a line of guys waiting for the chance to ask me out. But it doesn't matter, because I'm really not interested in any of the guys from school," Bella quickly added the last part of her statement to avoid her mother's obligatory praise of her beauty.

"What about Tyler? Have you ever thought about getting back together with him?"

"Mom!" Bella chided. "We broke up five months ago! And no, I haven't thought about getting back together with him. Our relationship was awful enough the first time – he liked me so much more than I liked him. And nothing's changed since then, so it wouldn't be fair to him," Bella reasoned.

"Oh, sweetie. There's nothing wrong with having a little fun! Besides, you all didn't date for very long, how can you be so sure of how you feel about him?"

"Three months of dealing with Tyler's overeager personality was plenty long enough, thanks."

"Don't you ever get tired of being alone?" Bella could sense her mother slipping out of her parental role as she often did. Which meant it was time for Bella to assume the upper hand. Before she could move them off the topic, Renee spoke again, "Alice has Jasper, Emmett's got Rosalie and now Angela's with Ben. Where does that leave you? By yourself."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Better than being with someone I don't want to be with."

"But how can you know so easily without giving a person a shot?"

"How can you seriously ask that question? Look around, Mom. Why would I want to deal with all the heartache and pain and frustration that come along with that? It's not worth it."

"What on Earth gave you that idea?"

It was Bella's turn to stare at her mother. She watched as realization dawned over the older woman's features as she resumed her motherly position.

"Oh, Bella, you can't really think that! Sure, hard times befall everyone, but that's only because love is such a powerful thing – it wouldn't make sense for it to be easy. Love is what makes this world a little more bearable; you have to be open to it, you never know where you might stumble across it."

The sadness in Renee's eyes was almost too much for Bella. "Alright, Mom, I'll remember that. Now come on, it looks like the sun's coming out. Let's keep walking."

After they cleared their table and exited onto the sidewalk, Renee paused before continuing on.

"Bella," she said softly causing her daughter to stop mid-step and turn back towards her.

"Yea, Mom?"

"Let me say just this one last thing, and then I'll drop it. Promise."

"Okay. What is it?"

"Well, I know I haven't always been the best role model and example of love, but I don't want that to discourage you. You have to believe that there's a love out there for you. A love greater than all others, a love solely meant for you. But finding it may not be easy, you may get confused on occasion, thinking you've found it then realizing you haven't. Don't let that discourage you, either. You have to believe you'll find it. And once you do, you can't let it go. No matter what."

Renee spoke with such conviction, Bella wondered if there was some hidden meaning to her words. They'd only been talking about how she wasn't having enough fun for a girl her age, but it seemed like her mother was trying to tell her something else now. Either way, Bella didn't really want to press the issue. She wanted to agree and move on.

"Don't worry, Mom. I'm only sixteen…"

"You're almost seventeen, now," Renee corrected, perking up.

"Five months, Mom. But it doesn't matter – plenty of time!" They stood on the street just looking at each other for a moment then Bella turned around, "Now, let's go! There's a bookstore a couple of blocks down that I want to check out."

The two continued their afternoon of shopping, even enjoying some time walking along the pier. Sometime around five o'clock, they left Port Angeles and made their way to La Push. Since they normally drove to La Push from Forks and weren't used to the drive from Port Angeles, it took much longer than expected. Parking in front of the Black's house, they glanced at the clock with a sigh of relief escaping their lips when they realized they weren't late. Next to them in the driveway was Charlie's cruiser, which meant they were back from fishing. As they were through the door, Billy rolled his wheelchair from the kitchen to greet his newest visitors.

"How's the truck running, Bella?" Billy asked as she leaned down to hug him. Bella's red truck had in fact belonged to Billy previously. Charlie bought it from him for her sixteenth birthday since he no longer had a use for it. His son had even restored it a bit before letting it go, but whether that was because of the truck's age or his love of cars, one would never know.

"Don't worry, I'm taking good care of it! Jacob did a great job on the engine," Bella didn't know much about cars, but she did know that any car that old, with that many miles on it, wouldn't run as well as her truck unless it had had some great work done. Bella couldn't even complain about its loud rumbling when she thought about it.

Billy laughed as he turned his attention to her mother, "Renee. It's so great to see you again."

Renee hugged him in turn, "It really has been far too long. Thank you so much for having us all for dinner tonight."

They followed Billy into the kitchen where Sue Clearwater was standing over the sink, peeling vegetables. Sue greeted them both, stopping her dinner preparations just long enough to pour Renee a glass of wine. They clinked their glasses and as if on cue, someone bellowed from the living room.

"Hey! Can I get another beer?" The deep voice seemed to shake the walls of the small house.

Sue opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of beer off the shelf. Before closing the door she called out, "Charlie? Billy?"

"We're good. Thanks, Sue," Charlie's voice carried through the house.

"Here, Seth. Bring this to your father," Sue handed the drink to her son who had been setting the table.

"Where's Leah?" Bella asked, referring to Sue's older daughter. Leah was two years older than Bella and even though they didn't get along really well because of their differences, Bella could have used from another girl around to escape with.

"Off with Sam somewhere. I swear, those two are going to get sick of each other real soon if they keep spending this much time together," Sue answered, resuming her peeling.

"Can I help with anything?" Renee asked, washing her hands in the sink as though Sue had already given her a project. Sure enough, Sue handed her another potato and peeler and the two women started gossiping in no time.

As much as Bella loved the familial interactions, she knew she was in for a boring evening. Every time they got together with the Blacks and the Clearwaters, she had a boring evening. Her mother and Sue always bonded over being the only two women around, usually laughing about their husbands. Billy, Charlie, and Sue's husband, Harry always found some kind of sporting event on television or were too tired from fishing all day to do anything. Billy's son Jacob, who was only a year younger than Bella, usually joined the men lounging in the Blacks' living room or disappeared to his garage with Seth, who, at two years Jacob's junior, idolized him. That usually forced Bella and Leah to make awkward conversation, that after not very long settled into a common bored silence. But Bella wouldn't even have Leah around tonight to distract her a bit. Then she remembered that Billy's two older daughters were supposed to be in town. She jumped off the bar stool and headed into the living room.

The television was on full blast and Bella was surprised she couldn't hear it louder from the kitchen. It looked like they were watching an ESPN special about the March Madness that had ended nearly a month before. Harry was stretched out over half the couch with one foot resting on the coffee table. His glasses were slid down his nose so that his hand could be rest against the back of the couch and he could still clearly watch the picture on the screen. With a beer in hand and an array of empty bottles on the table, he made for quite a sight. Billy's wheelchair was perched by the opposite side of the couch from Harry. He was leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees, staring intently at the screen. The frustrated crease in his forehead was apparent in his dark skin. His long, black hair was tucked behind his ears, tumbling down his back. He had such a dignified presence that he looked as though he should be concerned with more important issues other than a basketball game that happened over a month ago. His son was lounging on the floor in front of him. Stretch across the carpet, it looked as though he had grown. Jacob was a year younger than Bella, but even the last time that she had seen him, which was over a year ago, he was taller than her. He was lying on his stomach, resting his chin on his hands, giving Bella a nice view of the tight muscles in his back through his thin white t-shirt. He resembled his father so much from that back, that she could only believe his face was an exact replica of Billy's many years ago. Bella noticed that his hair looked newly shaved. The last time she'd seen him, he had worn it long, like his father, but apparently he'd adopted the buzzed look and tonight it looked at though it were freshly cut. Charlie was sitting on the love seat in a fashion similar to Billy's, although he retained no dignified air. Bella took the seat next to her father and for a moment no one in the room acknowledged her presence.

At the commercial, Seth joined them, sitting next to his own father. Charlie then turned and greeted his daughter with a smile. Bella turned her attention to Billy.

"Where's Rachel?" she asked referring to the middle Black child. Bella was closest to Rachel, despite their age gap; she was four years younger than the young Indian woman. But Rachel had never let the difference matter, unlike her older sister. Rachel always seemed to enjoy Bella's company when they were younger, forced together while their fathers fished. The two girls hardly spent any time together these days since Rachel hardly came home from Washington State where she went to school. All the extra time she was spending there was leading her to graduate early, but she still had at least another year left. She and her older sister were supposed to be home this weekend, but Bella couldn't see a trace of them anywhere in the house.

"The girls left earlier this afternoon. I tried convincing them to stay until morning, but they said they really needed to be on their ways," Billy spoke very diplomatically.

Bella was saddened for a moment at the prospect of really spending the evening alone in the house full of people, but then Sue announced dinner was ready and she was momentarily saved. It was hard for the group to be clique-y when they sat around the table. Because the party was so large tonight, there was second folding table added to the end, with a table cloth covering both so no one could even see the difference. Bella took a seat next to Seth and across from Jacob, in the middle of the table in the hopes of allowing the conversation to flow around her. She didn't necessarily want to be the center of the conversation, but she wanted to feel as though she belonged there.

She got her wish as Jacob's humorous stories being told across the table from her were the center of attention. Everyone joined in the laughter, no one else muttering a word as they worked on their meals. Seth only added to the light atmosphere by telling his own stories, trying to impress Jacob. And Jacob was a good sport about it, asking all the right questions, encouraging his younger friend. They spoke about cliff diving, which was apparently a favorite La Push pastime, which was when Bella's interest heightened. As scary as the activity sounded, the way Jacob described it, made it seem like the greatest rush on Earth. Normally, Bella wasn't a thrill seeker, but something about this particular rebellion really appealed to her. There was no way she would say so at the dinner table, calling additional attention to herself.

A comfortable silence blanketed the table as the final bits of laughter fell away. Everyone had finished their dinner but lingered at the table as the adults started their own, quieter conversation. Seth, Jacob and Bella remained silent and seated, knowing better than to get up from the table before they were excused. Finally, Sue stood up and started clearing plates, giving the cue for everyone to follow suit. When the table was clear, the men returned to their places in the living room upon the insistence of Sue and Renee.

"Hey, Dad, mind if I go work in the garage?" Jacob asked.

"Sure. Go ahead, son," Billy answered, his eyes never leaving the television.

"Hey, Jake, why don't you show Bella what you've been working on," Charlie suggested, looking up. He threw a small smile in the direction of his daughter, guessing how uncomfortable she was feeling. In fact, Bella had been thinking how long she needed to wait until claiming she didn't feel very well so they could leave early. She figured they would stay all night if she didn't intervene. She wasn't entirely put off by her father's suggestion though, and she followed Jake out the back door.

"I'm going with them, too!" Seth called out as he bounded through the door, trailing in their footsteps.

The garage was separate from the house and large enough for two cars, although was only occupied by one. The rest of the garage was covered in grease and tools that Bella couldn't name. Jacob cleared off a stool and moved it to a clean section of the floor so Bella could sit, without fear of getting dirty. Then he set about getting his equipment ready to be used. Seth hovered a safe distance behind him.

"So what are you doing?" Bella asked.

"Well since you bought the truck, thanks for that by the way, I'm restoring this car for when I get my license," Jacob replied, matter-of-factly.

"How long have you been working on it?" Bella asked, eyeing the car. She could tell it was a Rabbit, but barely. The car looked more like a mish-mash of pieces than a vehicle.

"Couple months," Jacob shrugged. Bella eyed him suspiciously. It looked more like he had just taken the car apart yesterday. "Don't give me that look! I know what I'm doing, your truck's still running, isn't it?" he teased.

"You're right, you're right. I won't doubt your skill," Bella conceded.

He smiled proudly at Bella and stuck out his hand, palm up, to Seth, asking for a specific tool. The hood of the car was lifted up and Jacob leaned down to peer at the mechanics.

"You know anything about cars?" He glanced up at Bella.

"I know how to turn one on," Bella offered. She laughed at her own silliness. She'd never spent much time with Jacob because she'd always been much closer to Rachel, but even after this short amount of time she was really enjoying herself. She felt so naturally comfortable around Jacob. Seth found her comment hilarious and he started cracking up.

Jacob beckoned her over to him, and started explaining what parts of the engine did what and what part he was working on now. Every so often, Seth would speak up, proving he, too, possessed a vast knowledge of automobiles. Jacob never tired of his interruptions and instead helped him learn even more. Bella thought that maybe it was because he was a more enthusiastic learner. Pretty soon, Bella managed to direct the conversation away from cars and she took her place back on the stool. Jacob absentmindedly worked on the car, while his focus remained on the conversation with Bella. They quickly breezed through subjects, catching up on Jacob's family and then Bella explaining why he and Billy hadn't seen much of her or Renee lately. She downplayed how bad things really were but that was only because she didn't want to ruin their happy conversation and because she didn't think it mattered since everything was practically cleared up. She had no problem admitting to Jacob that her family was flawed because she understand that he would never judge her or think any less of her for it. Next they were talking about school, with Seth's comments about how he could hardly wait for the next year to be over until he would join Jacob at the reservation's high school. Jacob resumed his role of storyteller, describing the antics he and his friends, Embry and Quil, participated in. Just as he was giving Bella the rundown on the prank they were planning for when they were seniors, there was a loud knock on the garage door, followed by two large boys tumbling in after one another. Bella was in awe of the mere size of the boys, although their faces still had boyish features, there heights were past the six foot mark by at least three inches. Jacob stood up to greet his friends and Bella noticed that he was still taller than either boy by at least two inches.

"Hey, Jake," one of the boys said. His face was rounder, gentler than the other's and his eyes were a lighter hazel shade, reflecting the dim light of the garage. His eyes took in the scene around them, noticing Bella for the first time. "Sorry, didn't know you had company," he nudged his friend and as smirks came across both of their faces, Bella could no longer tell them apart.

"Bella, this is Embry," Jacob introduced motioning towards the one who had just spoken. "And that's Quil."

Both boys nodded in her direction, then looked back at Jacob questioningly. "I'm just working on my car," Jacob added, as though there could have been a different reason he was hanging out in the garage.

"Sure. Well, we wanted to go cliff diving tomorrow off the top peak since the weather should be perfect but we need to make sure the trail's clear," Quil explained, eyeing Jacob again. "But since you're obviously busy, we'll just do it ourselves and see you tomorrow."

"Thanks, guys. That'd be awesome," Jacob's eyes flitted over to where Seth was quietly standing. It seemed as though he was in awe of the older boys.

"Hey, kid. Why don't you come with us? We could use an extra pair of hands," Embry understood Jacob's look and wanted to help him out by getting Seth out of his hair.

Seth looked over at Jacob, "Do you need anymore help with the car, Jake?"

"No, no. Go ahead. Besides, I've got Bella here."

Bella laughed, "Oh please. The only thing I'm doing is distracting you from the car."

Embry and Quil raised their eyebrows to Jake. "Well, you get back to it then," Quil said, turning towards the door. "Come on, Seth."

"Later, man," Embry called out.

"Cliff-diving, again, huh?" Bella teased.

"Yea. You really can't ever get tired of it, no matter how many times you do it. It never gets any less exciting," Bella could see the excitement in Jacob's eyes at his plans for te next day.

"It really sounds like it."

Jacob detected the sincerity in her voice, "Really? You want to cliff-dive? Normally, girls go running at the thought of throwing yourself off a cliff and into the crashing waves."

"Sounds cool," Bella answered simply.

"You really are something else, Bella, you know that?" Jacob looked at her adoringly.

Bella could sense the change in Jacob's voice and look from that last statement. Even though, they'd been borderline flirting throughout the night, she had been careful to make it seem as though she was merely being friendly. She remember what her mother had told her earlier that day as she smiled back at Jacob, "That's what they tell me."

Maybe her mom was right. Maybe there was nothing wrong with having a little fun.

* * *

**A/N: So I'm just curious. How do you all feel about the chapter lengths so far? Do you like the shorter ones better? Or the longer ones? I've been trying not to make them too short, but if that makes them too long just let me know so I can stop! Also, I know there's some concern so I just want to give you all a heads up – Edward will be making his appearance very, very soon, so get excited for that! And as always, let me know what you think!**

**- perfectshadeofdarkblue**


	8. Aesthetics Don't Hurt One Bit

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: Alright, so I feel terrible. I promised you all Edward soon, but I have to delay it a bit. Before you start hating me, I'm making a compromise. I started writing this chapter (where I was planning to debut Edward) but it wasn't working. Things just didn't fit together. So I needed to add another chapter to smooth things over – the now chapter 8, with no Edward. But I hate breaking my promises, so I'm posting this tonight (which is on with my every other day schedule) and I'm going to try my hardest to get out chapter 9 (with Edward) by tomorrow night. So I'm only delivering Edward a day late, but I think that would be better than putting him in a chapter that didn't work. **

**And secondly, I apologize for this chapter. It is a bit rushed, and therefore, not my best work. I tried rewriting my original chapter 8 (with Edward) several different times until deeming it unsalvageable. Just giving you fair warning before you all tell me it's horrible. Anyway, here it is…**

**But first...thank you SO MUCH to everyone who reviewed last chapter and let me know your opinions about chapter length. You guys are the greatest! Keep letting me know how I'm doing! **

**Enjoy!**

**-perfectshadeofdarkblue**

**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**8 – Aesthetics Don't Hurt One Bit**

Life was good again. So good in fact, that Bella could hardly remember when it hadn't been. There was something about pure, utter bliss that swept her up into its wind, enveloping with all its good feelings. It gave her a sense of security; surely nothing bad could happen when a person was this happy – that would just be cruel. Life's purpose was to find happiness. Bella had achieved that goal and now nothing could bring her down.

The end of the school year was rapidly approaching with graduation a mere two weeks away, which meant the junior-senior prom was only a week away. Bella's friends were all complaining about how sophomores couldn't attend unless with a junior or senior date, but Bella was relieved. She possessed no desire to go to the prom, opting for a much quieter low-key evening.

Jessica Stanley had been the head of the charge to find older dates, but once she realized her dream wouldn't come true, she settled for convincing everyone that prom didn't matter. She decided to host a party of her own that night instead. She invited their group of friends, saying that just because they weren't going to the prom didn't mean they couldn't have fun. Bella, in her newfound excitement about everything, was actually looking forward to it. The only thing that could make it better would be Alice's attendance. The two were trying to spend as much time together as possible since Alice would be leaving the day after graduation for her family vacation while Bella would be staying in Forks. Although she didn't think she'd be too badly off since she'd reconnected with her friends lately, Bella knew she was going to miss her best friend.

Alice was looking forward to the prom more than Bella had thought possible. Jasper wasn't really into the whole prom scene, but Alice really wanted to go so he obliged to take her. Alice tried convincing Bella to go with one of Jasper's friends that had asked her, but Bella refused, even making Alice promise to stop his friends from asking. By lunch the first day of the prom fever, she'd turned down three upperclassmen and she just didn't have the heart to disappoint anyone else.

The previous weekend, Bella had accompanied Alice shopping in Seattle to find the perfect dress – one that no one else would have. And they certainly succeeded. With a sweetheart neckline and rouched body, the yellow dress fit Alice perfectly. The fashionista paired the dress with a sequined gold belt with black piping that made her already tiny waist look almost nonexistent. Between the dress's length, which was quite a few inches above the knee, and her four-inch gold heels, Alice's legs gave a never-ending impression. But standing next to Jasper, she was still almost a foot shorter.

The Saturday of the big event, Bella spent the day with Alice, keeping her company while she readied herself for the dance.

"Are you sure you don't want to come? I've got another dress in my closet that you can wear!" Alice pleaded as she was putting her jewelry on, the finishing touches.

"No, Alice. I'm not going. Now, please, stop trying to convince me. You're starting to sound desperate!" Bella was lying on Alice's bed reading a magazine and didn't even look up as she responded.

"Fine, but you really owe me next year!"

"Alright, Alice. Whatever you say," Bella rolled her eyes, thinking Alice wouldn't remember. Bella knew that, of course, Alice would remember, but she didn't care. Being this happy, she figured she might as well do whatever would Alice this happy, too.

"How do I look?" Alice said, turning around and spinning so Bella could get the 360-degree view.

"AMAZING!" Bella jumped off the bed and stared in awe at the petite girl.

"Come on, kid. Mom wants to get some pictures of us," Emmett knocked on the door and looked inside at Bella. "What? She couldn't convince you to come?"

Bella just laughed. "No. Even the dress couldn't convince me."

"Way to hold out! Rose owes me now!"

"What do you mean?"

"We heard Alice begging on the phone to you one night, pleading with you to change your mind. I told Rose that Alice was going to be sorely disappointed when she couldn't convince you and Rose bet against me saying she couldn't imagine how a person could turn prom down. You know how she is; she lives for this kind of stuff. I tried telling her that your stubbornness would win out, but she wouldn't listen. So now she owes me!" Emmett's booming laughter echoed throughout the house as he made his way down the stairs as Alice and Bella trailed after him.

Downstairs, Bella watched Alice and Emmett pose for picture after picture and even stood in some herself. Carlisle looked on proudly as Esme directed the photo shoot. After about twenty minutes, Emmett left to pick up Rosalie and Bella took that as she cue to leave before Jasper whisked Alice off into the night.

"You can still change your mind, Bella!" Alice walked her to the door.

"I've got my own party to go to!" Bella argued back.

"Alright, but remember, you really owe me for next year!" Alice tried to keep a stern look on her face, but soon both girls were laughing at the ridiculousness. "Have fun!"

"You got it. And you have fun, too - I'll talk to you tomorrow!"

And with that, Bella started her truck and made her way across town to get ready for Jessica's shindig. Yesterday in school, Jessica had informed everyone that her parents were going to Seattle for the night so the kids would have the house to themselves. Meaning the shindig would be more of a party than the get-together that they had all been expecting.

Bella smiled at her thoughts when she pulled into her driveway. Her mother's car was gone and the house was quiet – her parents had gone out to dinner tonight. Their first official date since peace was restored. She showered quickly and was soon standing in front of her closet, deciding what to wear. She was holding two different shirts up, a blue one and a green one, trying to pick one when she heard her cell phone chime, alerting her to a new text message.

She threw the shirts on the bed and grabbed her phone from her dresser. She knew who it was without looking. Jacob had been texting her throughout the week. He'd been a little upset about the fact that they wouldn't be able to see each other very much since they went to separate schools, but he vowed not to let that get in his way. To make up for it, he would send Bella texts throughout the day, telling her about funny pranks he and his friends had pulled or updating her about the cliff-diving adventure he was planning to take her on. Bella was always excited to see Jacob had sent a message, but she tried to remain cool in her responses.

It was obvious already that Jacob had a crush on her and she didn't want him to think she had those same feelings for him. She really did enjoy his company, and loved talking to him, but she didn't think she felt anything that was more than friendly towards her new friend. However, feelings are hard to express through a text message and she didn't think she'd done a very good job of letting him know what was going on.

"My friends and I are hanging out at First Beach tonight. You should come :)," the text message read.

For a second, Bella actually considered the possibility of blowing off Jessica's party and going to hang out with Jacob and his friends at the beach. She'd hung out with Jacob, Quil and Embry the day after dinner before they went on their cliff-diving excursion. She'd had a really great time talking with Jacob's sidekicks while he worked on his car and she wanted to meet the rest of his friends. She wished she'd hadn't committed to the party because she knew there was no one she'd be able to get out of it now.

"Wish I could! I'm already going to my friend's house. Sorry!" Bella wrote back. She didn't want to give him false hope.

She pulled the green shirt over her head and finished getting ready. Within no time, she was on her way to Jessica's. When she pulled into the driveway, ten minutes later, it was difficult to find a place to park her truck. It looked as though she was the last one to arrive. She left her truck at the end of the driveway, parked next to Ben's Suburban and made her way inside where it was verified that she was the last one to arrive.

"Bella!" Jessica yelled, jumping off the couch to tackle her in greeting. Unlike Bella, Jessica loved being the center of attention and was in her element as the hostess of the party. She grabbed Bella's hand and pulled her into the living room where everyone was gathered. "Hey guys! Bella's here!"

There was a round of "hello" from the group as Bella took a seat between Angela and Tyler.

"What's going on outside?" Bella leaned over to whisper to Angela.

"Oh, it's just Lauren and her whole crew. You know how they are," Angela whispered back, referring to Lauren's arrogance and how she liked separate herself from others.

"I guess we're lucky to be inside," And then to the others, "So what's going on?"

"We're playing catch phrase! You want in?" Mike looked up hopefully.

"Sure, why not?"

"Awesome! Now we're all even and I don't have to play for both teams," Mike got up to get another drink from the kitchen.

"I didn't hear him complaining about that before," Tyler pretended to say under his breath, which earned a titter from Eric.

Mike came back in the room and threw a bottle of water to Bella. It was apparent he had alcohol in his system because he obviously didn't remember Bella's troubles with coordination. Bella blocked her face with her arms as Tyler's hand shot up and grabbed the bottle out of the air.

"Thanks," Bella took the bottom from him and unscrewed the cap.

"Anytime. You know I got your back, Bells," Tyler flirted, giving Bella a smile.

Angela inconspicuously tapped Bella's leg and raised her eyebrows. Bella just shrugged in response, shaking her head.

They clarified the teams and Jessica started the game. The ticking started.

"Umm, okay. It's a famous play by Shakespeare…"

"Romeo and Juliet!" Angela said at the same time that Mike yelled.

"Yes!" Jessica shouted back. Bella laughed at how easy it was to get into the game. Then she prepared herself as Eric grabbed the disk and changed words. It was her team's turn to shine!

"Alright…so it's what you say when there's water falling from the sky really hard…" Eric was struggling.

"Rain? Raining?" Bella tried.

"That's the first word! It's a four-word phrase. Two of the words are popular pets."

"Raining cats and dogs!" Ben shouted.

"That's it!"

And so the game continued. Every time a round ended, it was decided that the losing team had to drink. Bella rolled her eyes at her friends', or more specifically, Mike's, attempt to turn the family game into a drinking game. After about an hour of playing, they were all cracking up at Tyler's description of beach volleyball using slurred speech. They grew silent, wiping the tears from their eyes, as the glass door slid open and Lauren and company walked into the room.

"We're going to head to First Beach. Apparently some of Quileute boys are having a party out there," Lauren announced.

Jessica just stared at her, daring her to leave the party. Or at least hoping she would have the decency to invite the rest of the group. Normally, Jessica got along with Lauren, but easily got frustrated with her dominating personality. Lauren didn't need reassurances from others since her theory was "my way or the highway."

Lauren caught the look and corrected, "Any of you want to come?"

Politely, Jessica looked at the group around her, hoping one of them would speak up and say they wanted to go. It wasn't that she thought her own party was lame, but more the fact that she was tired of the same scene. Plus, those Quileute boys were hot – of course, they should jump at the chance to socialize with them.

"I'm in!" Bella shouted, surprising everyone. She was usually the last person to jump at these kinds of social interactions.

"Let's all go then," Jessica decided standing up.

Most of the group piled into Ben's Suburban, since it held the most people and was the easiest to get out of the driveway, while the few others trailed behind in Lauren's car. Angela drove since she hadn't been drinking and easily maneuvered the large SUV down the street and past the Forks-La Push border. First Beach, aptly named since it was the first beach on the reservation, was well-known to the group since it was the site of the Spring Bonfire that seemed so long ago. Back in another lifetime, a sadder lifetime for Bella.

There was a large fire set up to shed light on the beach, but the group of large, dark figures was off to the side. Laughter resonated over the sand, making the arriving group feel more at ease right off the bat as they approached. At the site of them, the dark figures met them half way at the fire.

"Hey," the largest man said in a deep voice.

Lauren stepped forward, "Hi. I'm Lauren, thought maybe we could join you."

"Bella!" the next largest figure shouted, crossing the unmarked line between the two groups. He pulled Bella into a hug, picking her up in the process.

"Hey, Jake," Bella said easily.

"I thought you said you had plans?"

"Yea, well, plans can change."

"That's awesome! I'm so glad you're here," Jacob stepped back as Quil and Embry approached and pulled her into their own hugs.

"Hey, guys."

"Glad you could make it," Embry replied.

"Let me introduce you to everyone," Jacob pulled her further into his group. He pointed out Sam, who had spoken earlier, standing next to Leah, who had missed dinner the previous weekend. Jacob continued to introduce her to the other ten people there, but she couldn't remember the names any longer than it look for him to say the next one. Then Bella introduced her friends to the group and they easily settled in together to enjoy the rest of the night.

As Bella spent the night with Jacob on one side of her and Quil and Embry close by, with the others spending sporadic amounts of time with them, Mike and Tyler took turns making their presence known at Bella's side. They were constantly asking if she wanted to take a walk, or join the others for a game. Every time she turned them down, choosing instead to remain with Jacob.

"What's the deal with those two anyway?" Quil asked, after the fifth time Bell had sent Mike away.

"Got some not-so-secret admirers, Bella?" Embry teased.

"Oh, yea. Now if only they could take a hint," Bella joked.

"Well, I've got a solution to that problem," Quil said.

"And what's that?" Bella asked curiously.

"Our boy, Jake, here," he answered proudly while Bella continued to look incredulously at him.

"He can pretend to be your boyfriend," Embry explained.

"Oh, no. No, he doesn't need to do that."

"I don't mind, Bella. Besides, would you rather they keep bothering you?" Jacob offered.

"It's either that, or we can not-so-nicely tell them to back off," Quil menacingly crack his knuckles.

"Alright, alright. Jake can be my pretend boyfriend!" Bella gave up.

"Come on, then girlfriend. Let's take a walk," Jacob stood up and offered his hand to Bella and didn't let go as she fell into step beside him.

"Be convincing!" Quil shouted, laughing with Embry as they watched the two make their way past Mike and Tyler. Very convincingly, Bella leaned into Jacob and he put his arm around her, fingers still interlocked.

Soon, they were past the stares and whispers and fell into an easy conversation.

"Your friends are really great, Jake. I'm so glad I got to meet them," Even though they were a safe distance away, they didn't move apart.

"They like you, too."

"How can you say that? You've spent the whole night with me and I haven't heard them say any such thing. And they've hardly spent any time around me," Bella didn't want his friends to think badly of her. She needed to be sure that she was truly accepted.

"I can just tell. Besides, how can anyone not like you?" Jacob stopped walking, taking a place in the sand and pulling Bella down next to him. He wrapped his arm around her again, pulling her close.

Bella leaned her head against his warm shoulder, fitting comfortably. A blush rose to her cheeks and she decided to ignore his embarrassing statement even though she appreciated it. She liked having the quiet attention from Jacob – he never made her feel uncomfortable. "How can you tell?"

Jacob laughed at her insistence, but answered anyway, "First of all, they wouldn't have been nice to you if they didn't like you. They would have scared you off, much like we're scaring off Mike and Tyler. They wouldn't want someone unworthy bothering me, just like I don't want anyone else bothering you."

"And second?" Bella was trying to move the subject away from the compliments he was so willing to give.

"Second, they left us alone. They knew I wanted to spend time with you alone. They could tell I didn't want to share you and they respected that. Now if only Embry and Quil could have figured that out."

That was too much. Time to set things straight. Bella titled her head up to look at him while she spoke, "Jacob."

"Bella, listen. I know I'm coming on kind of strong, and I hope it's not making you uncomfortable because, really, that's the last thing I want to do. But I have to tell you, I'm so glad I got to spend time together last weekend and I'm even happier you came out here tonight."

He fell silent, waiting for her to respond. Bella couldn't form words; she didn't know what to say. He hadn't exactly said he liked her in so many words and maybe she was wrong. That would have made more sense to her – he liked her as a friend, nothing more. She'd misread the signs.

She stared up at him while the thoughts raced through her mind.

Apparently, Jacob took that silence to mean something besides hesitation. He brought his right hand to her cheek, brushing the bone with his thumb, the other fingers wrapping around her neck. He quickly leaned in, closing his eyes just as his lips brushed against hers. His breath was hot on her face and Bella didn't know what to do. Jacob pressed his lips harder, throwing more emotion into the kiss. He pulled away, Bella's face still securely in his hand and looked into her eyes.

They fluttered open, Bella unaware she'd even closed them. She closed them again, breathing in deeply, "Jacob."

She could feel his weight shift as he leaned in again. Quickly, she pushed her hands against his chest somewhat unwillingly. She longed for another kiss – he was so skilled and it felt so good – but it would be wrong. She didn't have those feelings for him. She couldn't, wouldn't go on hurting him.

"What?" Jacob asked, looking at her hands pushing him away.

"Jake. I'm sorry, but…" Bella couldn't find the words. Tears welled in her eyes, but she was determined not to let them fall.

He noticed, and took the pressure off of her, "Don't apologize, Bella. It's alright. I'd said I'm sorry I kissed you, but I'm not. Though I am sorry it wasn't what you wanted."

"It's just that I don't feel that way about you, Jake. But I have loved every minute I've spent with you. You're a great friend, but only a friend. I'm sorry," she looked down ashamed.

"Bella, it's okay," he lifted her chin up so her gaze met his own. "I can understand that. But like Tyler and Mike, I'm not going to take a hint, either. But I will try to be less obnoxious than them."

Bella laughed at his joke.

"I'm serious. I really like you, Bella, and I'm going to do my damn best to convince you to like me, too. And until I do, I'm not going anywhere. In the meantime, I'll at least have you around as a friend."

"But Jake, that's not fair to you. I don't want to hurt you again if my feelings don't change."

"Well, you said 'if' not 'when,' so we're already making progress," he laughed. "Don't worry about me, though. I'm a big boy; I can make my own decisions. I know where I stand now so it's up to me."

"Jake."

"Come on, Bella. Give a guy a shot."

"Fine. But I'm not making any promises."


	9. I'll Take the Truth at Any Cost

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: I had a bit of an emergency after the last time I updated. I'm so very sorry for the delay, but it really just couldn't be avoided. Hope you can all find it in your hearts to forgive me and continue reading – I love sharing this with you all. Without further ado…Edward.**

**- perfectshadeofdarkblue**

* * *

**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**9 – I'll Take the Truth at Any Cost**

"You guys are so going down!" Alice menacingly laughed.

Her attention was on the large television mounted to the wall. She, Emmett and Edward were gathered on the couches, battling each other in video games. Through the open glass doors behind them, Carlisle and Esme sat on the porch enjoying the view from the porch of their Italian villa. Their conversation was light as they were paying more attention to their family inside. They always found it humorous when Emmett challenged his younger sister to a video game, underestimating her every time. Emmett, in his need of an opponent, had raised Alice on these games, teaching her the ins and outs only to have student surpass the master. Emmett thought luck might be on his side as he and Edward challenged Alice, but he was quickly learning he needed more than luck.

Edward's player turned a corner, but there was Alice's, crouching behind a pile of boxes readying her shot.

"Come on, Edward!" Emmett urged when Edward's lives were reset.

"I couldn't prevent it! How did you get there, Alice?" Edward demanded half-heartedly.

"I jumped from the level above. It was obviously to see where you were going. You boys are so easy to read!"

Edward's shoulders, tight with tension, were squared to the screen. His eyes, despite being locked on the moving figures, were glazed over. It was clear his attention was not on the game. With no urgency, his thumbs danced across the yellow and green buttons of the controller. The look on his face did not match Emmett's determination. Emmett had sweat dripping down his temples and he was biting his tongue so hard blood was threatening to escape.

"What are you doing, Masen?!" Emmett shouted as he lost yet another life.

Suddenly, the game paused.

Slowly, Edward turned his head toward Emmett seated beside him. His determined gaze bore into Emmett's eyes.

"Please, do not call me that," Edward said through gritted teeth.

Emmett racked his brain trying to remember what he had even said. He looked to Alice for help, but her confusion was clear. He resisted turning his head back towards Edward; he could still feel that fire-filled gaze burning him. Emmett had the clear advantage in a fight, with his size being almost twice that of Edward's, but it didn't matter at the moment – Emmett was scared of Edward.

"Alright, man. Sorry. I won't do it again," finally their eyes met. Masen, Emmett's brain rang out. He'd only called him by his last name, just like he'd been doing for the past fourteen years since they could talk.

As Edward broke their stare-down and restarted the game, Carlisle and Esme exchanged a worried look. Carlisle nodded his head, signifying he would take a chance later on to talk to Edward. He waited until the taunts and trash-talking started back up before leaning over and closing the sliding door. He and his wife didn't want Edward to know they were so concerned about him until they'd decided what to do. He was an extremely perceptive boy and could hide his emotions well and they didn't want to tip him off.

"I don't know what else we can do for him," Carlisle started off.

"I'm not sure there is anything we can do, Carlisle." Esme was met with a blank, pleading look from her husband. "I think we've done all that we can _for _him. I think it's just going to be a matter of time now."

"Things are only going to get harder for him when we leave at the end of the week," Carlisle was at a loss.

"Talk to him. Find out what he's thinking. We've been walking around on eggshells all month, trying to avoid upsetting him, trying to avoid reminding him of his parents. But maybe that's what he needs. Maybe he needs to remember to move on. I think that's the only way to make this better – to talk to him. He can tell us what to do." Esme looked to Carlisle for assurance, but he was looking out into the country side. He gave a slight nod of his head when he sensed her expectant gaze. Esme stood and walked inside, running her hand lovingly across her husband's shoulders. She thought he might like some time alone to think.

"I think I'm going to head into town. Anyone want to come? Alice, some shopping?" Esme asked with perfect timing as the game ended.

"I'm in! I still need to find something for Jasper!" Alice ran into her room to freshen up.

"What about Bella?" Esme shouted.

"Already got it!"

"And what about you, Emmett? Did you get something for Rosalie?"

"No," he answered simply, itching to play another game.

"Don't you think she'd like a small present after being apart for a month?"

"Isn't my coming home enough of a present?" Emmett joked, knowing he'd end up accompanying his mother and sister.

"Come on, it'll be my treat. It's the least I can do after pulling you away for a month without being able to talk to her." Emmett conceded and went to the room he was sharing with Edward to change clothes. "Edward? Would you like to join us? Alice and I have set up your room back in Forks, but you're welcome to do anything you'd like with it. Maybe we can look for some things you'd like."

"No thanks, Esme. I'd rather just stay here," Edward responded politely without looking at her.

"If you're sure, dear." Alice and Emmett miraculously appeared and without hesitation the three took off.

The villa suddenly became quiet as its current occupants were in somber moods. Edward moved off the couch and, after shutting off the television, joined Carlisle outside. For a few minutes, they just sat together but alone in their thoughts. Neither knew their thoughts were moving simultaneously. Edward was the first to break the silence.

"My dad used to tell me about the times he came out here with you." He spoke so quietly that Carlisle wasn't sure he heard correctly. This was the first time Edward had brought up the subject of his parents. It was exactly what he wanted to talk about, but he decided to let Edward set the pace.

"Every break from school we got," Carlisle treaded carefully.

"It was your father's?" Edward finally broke his admiration of the horizon. Carlisle took it as an invitation to continue.

"It was. He left it to me when he passed. Your father and I always had plans to build a villa in Northern Italy together. But life got away from us and we never got the chance to do it," Carlisle had become so preoccupied with worrying about Edward that he was forgetting that he, too, was mourning. Speaking about the past he shared with Edward's father and all their plans for the future, really made him remember how devastating this tragedy was.

Finally, Carlisle turned to Edward.

"Is it getting any easier for you?"

Immediately, Edward knew what he was asking. "No."

"Give it time. It will."

"How can you say that? You've had as much time as I had and you're still caught off guard by the memories."

"I don't know what to tell you, Edward."

"I'm not asking you to tell me the secret to make it all better. Just don't lie to me. Don't tell me it will get better, because neither of us knows that with any certainty."

"I do know that with certainty. The way you're feeling now – you won't always feel that way. It may take awhile, but I can promise it will get better. Eventually. The amount of time it takes, though, that's up to you."

Edward thought for a moment. "What's that suppose to mean?"

"It means you need to try to move on. You can't trap yourself in the past. You need to make an effort."

"I am making an effort! You think I want these burning images to show up every time I close my eyes?"

It was clear he was getting angry, but Carlisle thought it was progress. He'd been practically emotionless all month, so it was a least a step in the direction of becoming human again. Carlisle waited for Edward to continue.

"I don't know how else to make an effort, Carlisle." His voice was pleading now. "I don't want to remember this. But I don't want to forget them either."

"You're focusing on the wrong things, son. Don't remember them in death. You need to remember them in life. That's the only way to cope." Carlisle watched as his words changed Edward. He waited for an explanation, but none came. Instead, Edward's face remained changed, thinking. His eyes shone with possibility, with hope.

"What is it, Edward?" He could no longer stand his ignorance.

Still, Edward offered no answer. His eyes were moving fast, from Carlisle's face, to the sky, zoning out, then back again. repeating the pattern.

"Edward?" Carlisle tried again.

"You called me 'son.'" It didn't make sense to older man so again he waited. Edward repeated, "Son."

Suddenly, it clicked. "Let me ask you a question, Edward."

Edward focused his eyes on Carlisle in anticipation of the question he knew was coming.

"Why did you get mad at Emmett earlier when he called you by your last name?" Carlisle avoided the actual name in fear of setting Edward over the edge.

As Edward closed his eyes, breathing in deep, collecting his thoughts, Carlisle tried to prepare himself for the answer. All the time in the world wouldn't have helped.

"It's haunting," Edward whispered, eyes still shut.

"What do you mean?" Carlisle needed clarification. If this conversation was going where he thought it was, he needed Edward to say exactly what he meant. There was no room for wrong assumptions.

"No matter where I am, what I'm doing, that name pulls me back. I'm forced to think of my parents, of what will never be now. I try so hard not to dwell on them. I only think about them when I'm making a conscious effort and can control where the thoughts lead me. I hear that and automatically, without fail, I lose control. It's like their deaths are happening all over again. And this time, I'm there to bear witness."

Edward had worked himself in a frenzy explaining and his breath was now coming heavy. Carlisle was at a loss for words, but it didn't matter; Edward wasn't finished. He managed to collect himself enough for another request.

"Adopt me."

"What?" Carlisle was caught even more off guard, but he couldn't ignore this.

"Adopt me," Edward repeated more solidly this time, while running his hand through his golden hair. His eyes were dancing. He'd found the answer, the solution he'd been searching for.

"Edward, you can't be serious."

"Come on, Carlisle. Why not? I'm practically adopted anyway. Why not make it official?"

"I will not adopt you to help you erase the memory of your parents. I care for them far too much to let you do that," he spoke with conviction.

"I'm not trying to erase them," Edward's voice became softer as he realized his mistake. Carlisle misunderstood his intentions. "I just want to speed this mourning process along. I'm sick of being depressed, but I can't force myself to get better. Every time I think I'm getting past this, something pushes me back. Like Emmett earlier when he called me 'Masen.' I'm only trying to erase things that will unexpectedly remind me of them."

"Do you honestly think you'll succeed at that?"

"I can only try." Edward met Carlisle's eyes. "Please. Help me try."

"I don't think I can do that Edward. And it has nothing to do with not wanting you as my own son. You know I already consider you that. You're as much a part of this family as you've always been; you just need us more now than ever. And we are more than willing to help you in your need, but I don't think you're asking this for the right reasons. I think you need to find a different way to work through this. It's unrealistic." Carlisle hated seeing the disappointment in Edward, his newest son's eyes, but he knew it was unavoidable. Still, he would talk to Esme about this and hear her opinion on the matter. In fact, the two had debated adopting Edward outright, but didn't want him to think they were trying to replace his parents when in fact they were only trying to solidify their relationship if he ever needed anything. They wanted to make sure he knew he could come to them for anything as though they were his parents. Carlisle wasn't sure whether it was his own opinion of the manner of adoption prior to the vacation that was clouding his judgment or actually the reasons he voiced and for that, he needed his wife to help make sense of things.

"Just don't rule it out, alright?" Edward sounded more like a kid now that Carlisle had ever heard before.

"Alright," Carlisle agreed, standing up. "Now let's go enjoy our last days in this beautiful country."

-

"I'm really not going to get to see you for awhile, huh?" Jacob put down the wrench and wiped the grease off his hands. Throwing the towel over his shoulder, he took a seat on the stool next to Bella.

"Nope," Bella answered, taking a sip of her soda.

"Alice doesn't know how to share?"

"Nope," Bella repeated, smiling this time.

"What am I suppose to do now?" Jacob asked.

"I'm not dying, Jake. I'll still be around. But I haven't seen Alice in a month. It'll probably take two weeks for her to let me out of her sight."

"Two weeks?!"

"My goodness. You had friends before me, hang out with them."

"They aren't as fun."

"Because having me sit here for the past month while you work on your car is more fun than anything you would do with Embry and Quil?" Bella snorted at the thought.

"Yes," Jacob wouldn't look at her.

"Oh, get over it. Nothing's going to change it, so you might as well resolve to have fun now."

"Such great advice."

Bella leaned over to grab the greasy towel off Jacob's shoulder, brushing it across his face as she spoke her words. "Sarcasm is not going to help you. Besides, I didn't have to come over this morning. I thought I'd be nice and spend a last bit of time with you before Alice gets home later."

Jacob grabbed the towel from her hand and flicked his wrist to give Bella a taste of her own medicine. Anticipating the attack, she quickly leaned back to get her face out of the towel's greasy reach. Her sudden movement threw the stool off balance and she felt gravity pulling her body towards the cement floor. Her arms flew behind her to brace the fall just as Jacob leaped off his stool to catch her. His arms snaked their way around her tiny waist, pulling her away from the ground and towards him with such force that she slammed into his chest.

The collision knocked the breath from Bella for a moment. Jacob stared at her as she collected herself. Once she ascertained that she was still alive and well, she met Jacob's eyes, the lust emanating apparent.

Bella adjusted her gaze and looked up to Jacob through her eyelashes. For good measure, fluttered her eyelashes while smile sweetly. Only then did she speak, with a very soft voice, "I swear, Jacob Black, if you kiss me again, I will punch you."

She tried to push him away but found his grip too tight. She was done playing games. She threatened again, this time with venom, "Let me go, Jake."

Jacob brushed it off coolly, but still set her free. "Just making sure you can handle your own two feet."

"Oh, shut it. You're making me glad I won't see you for awhile."

Jacob could tell she was completely serious. It was time to own up, "I'm sorry, Bella."

"You're the one who promised me you could handle this. You told me you were a big boy. And I told you that if my feelings changed then I would tell you. Have I told you?"

"No."

"Then where do you get off looking at me like that?"

"What am I suppose to do, Bella? Ignore everything you say? You don't make this easy. You let me flirt with you, you let me compliment you, you let me hold your hand. Do you honestly expect me to be able to ignore that?" Jacob was frustrated. He'd really started to believe that Bella's feelings had changed and he didn't want to be having this conversation. Especially when he didn't know the next time he'd see her.

"Yes, Jacob. I do expect you to ignore that. Because I told you I'd tell you if I started to have feelings for you. I didn't mean to lead you on, I really am sorry about that. I didn't realize you thought so much of it. You've been such a great best friend to me in Alice's absence and I don't want that to change, but I think some time apart will be good for us," Jacob could see the hurt in her eyes. It was obvious she really didn't know what she was doing to him.

He tried to negotiate. "Alright, how about this…"

"I'm listening."

At least she wasn't shooting him down outright. He held on to hope as he continued, "You spend your two weeks with Alice and I won't bother you. But I made a promise to take you cliff diving and I intend on hold that promise. It's the perfect time; the water isn't as cold in the summer. So in two weeks, we're diving."

"Jake…" He could sense her hesitation.

"Bring Alice. And her boyfriend Jasper can come. And her brother, too. And the kid that's moving in. Everyone can come. Embry and Quil wouldn't miss it for the world, watching you dive for the first time. And I'll invite Sam and Leah and Seth, too, since you like that kid so much. We'll make a thing of it – spend the day at the beach, cook out, dive. How does that sound?"

Bella couldn't deny him, he was trying too hard. "Alright, I'm in. I'll have to check with Alice, though. I doubt she'll want to cliff dive and she'll probably think I'm crazy doing it, but she'll probably agree to the party."

"Bella, come on!" Charlie's voice rang out into the garage. "I promised your mother we'd be home to help with dinner. We need to get a move on it!"

"I'm coming!" Bella shouted back then turned to face Jacob, "That's my cue."

"Two weeks," he reminded her.

"Two weeks," she confirmed with a nod. "Bye, Jake."

"Bye Bella. Don't forget about me." He leaned in to hug her.

When they pulled away, she said, "I could never." She watched his face light up like the sun as the smile spread across his lips.

Bella met Charlie in front of the house and climbed into the cruiser when he unlocked the door.

"So what'd you and Jake do today?" Charlie asked, trying to make conversation.

"What do we do any day, Dad? I watched him while he worked on his car," Bella answered with a laugh. It was just enough of an ice breaker to keep the car ride from becoming awkward with forced conversation.

"Is he getting any closer to finishing? I feel like he's been working on it forever."

"Please, I'm the last one to ask that question. I have no idea what he's doing."

"Maybe he could teach you a thing or two about cars." Charlie's eyes never left the road as they sped for home.

"I doubt he has the patience for that," Bella dismissed the idea offhand.

"Oh, I bet he has the patience for anything when it comes to you."

"Dad!" Bella couldn't believe her father was attempting to intervene in her love life. He'd never even recognized the fact that she was dating when Tyler was around.

"What? Come on, you can't tell me you don't know what I'm talking about. I've seen the way that boy looks at you. He's lucky I like him so much, or else he'd be in big trouble. You two have been spending an awful lot of time together…"

Bella picked up on Charlie's thoughts without needing to hear the rest of it. "Yea, Dad. We have been spending a lot of time together, but that doesn't mean anything. And yes, I've seen the way he looks at me. In fact, today I told him I'd punch him if he tries to kiss me. We're just friends, Dad." She tried to drive that point home.

Charlie laughed. "Punch him, huh? Not that it doesn't make me happy to hear that you can take care of yourself, but you don't want…you don't like him?" Of course, he stuttered talking about his daughter kissing a boy.

"Ugh, Dad. Do we have to talk about this?" Her voice was filled with disgust.

"I feel like I don't know what's going on in your life these days. Ever since your mom stopped working, she's been split between us, leaving no time for us. Not that I'm complaining about your mother – you know how much I love that woman. I just feel out of touch." Bella didn't understand – they were never in touch. She would get it if they had talked about these sorts of things before, but they hadn't. Where was this coming from?

She realized they were close enough to home that she could answer the question and not have to worry about any follow-ups. She'd worry about the reasoning later. "No, Dad, I don't like Jake like that. He's a great friend, but that's it. And yes, he knows that's how I feel. I've made it very clear; he's the one who still insists on spending so much time together despite his feelings."

"Well, maybe he's hoping you'll come around."

"Oh, please. Do not tell me you're on his side. I don't need you backing him up."

"He's a nice kid, Bella. Maybe you should give him a chance," tactfully, he avoided directly answering her question.

"Oh, look, we're home. Let's help Mom with dinner!" Bella jumped out of the car before Charlie had even put it in park.

Renee's car was in the driveway so Bella knew she was home from running the errands that had kept her from visiting the Blacks with them earlier. She raced inside, eager to start up a new conversation with her mother before Charlie had another chance to say anything about Jacob. As soon as she was through the door, she was met with the smell of something burning. She could hear a pan on the stove sizzling. She made her way to the kitchen, picking up a stray water glass to rinse out on her way.

When she entered the kitchen, the sight she saw stunned her. Automatically, her hand rose, covering her mouth. She whispered, "Oh, God."

Bella was frozen. She could not move. Not matter how much she wanted to turn and run from the room, her feet were unwilling. Her brain had suddenly lost its connection with the rest of her body. She was no longer in control of her actions.

Her eyes were glued to her mother who was sitting on the kitchen counter. Her head was thrown back, her eyes were closed. Her mouth was open and Bella could hear her heavy breathing from across the room. Her legs were wrapped tightly around the shirtless man standing before her. His mouth was attached to her neck. He was the reason her mother's head was thrown back, the reason for the heavy breathing, the reason moans were escaping her mother's lips. He was not Bella's father. He was not her husband.

Bella finally regained control of her eyes. For the first time, she noticed Renee's shirt, torn, on the floor. For the first time, she noticed the man wasn't the only shirtless one in the room. Renee was perched on the counter, wearing only her bra. This man's hands were pulling Renee close, caressing her skin in a hurried fashion. Bella watched as his right hand snaked from her back and down her leg, disappearing out of sight between their bodies. She watched as his left hand made its way to her Renee's bra strap, quickly working at the clasp. Bella couldn't tear her eyes away as she watched Renee's hands pull the man's mouth away from her neck, only to replace it on her own.

Bella heard Renee moan, "Oh, James."

And suddenly, everything made sense. The mysterious wrong number, all the time her mother spent at work, the avoiding phone calls in front of her. Her mother was having an affair with James. Her mother was having an affair with this man. Her mother was having an affair in the kitchen.

The glass Bella was holding crashed to the floor and she repeated, louder this time, "Oh, God."

Bella heard Charlie finally make his way into the house and she realized she'd only been taking in the scene for a minute, instead of the hour it felt like.

"What's burning?" He asked making his way toward Bella.

She was still rooted to the spot. There was nothing she could do to stop her father from witnessing this scene.

Her eyes were still glued to train wreck in front of her. She watched James pull the bra off of her mother and toss it behind him. It landed perfectly on the already burning stove.

That was the catalyst that snapped Bella to action. It was bad enough she was watching her family burn down before her eyes, she refused to watch her house do the same.

"Oh, God," she shouted at the exact same time as Renee. Bella was responding the garment that had burst into the flames while Renee was responding to James' mouth's newest target – her breast.

Bella ran into the kitchen to distinguish the flames as Charlie turned the corner and took in the scene for the first time. Bella applauded his ability to be able to react more quickly than she was.

"What the hell, Renee?" He demanded, his voice loud enough to catch the attention of the lovebirds on the counter.

Renee's eyes snapped open, her head quickly turning to Charlie. She pushed James off her and jumped from the counter. She grabbed her torn shirt and threw it over her, quickly making her way to Charlie. Before she stopped walking, she turned back to look at James. In that moment, it was clear to Bella that her family was over.

She opened her mouth, but the words came from Charlie.

"Save it. I don't want to hear it." His eyes were on fire. It was clear he wanted to hit something. James made the most sense, but he knew his wife deserved it more.

At the tone of Charlie's venomous voice, James backed up. No one noticed Bella, putting out the fire, behind him and he backed into her, pushing her toward the flames.

"Ow!" She yelled, grabbing the attention of everyone in the room.

Renee's eyes went wide when she realized what her daughter had witnessed.

"Bella," Renee took a step toward her.

Bella turned and ran. She ran out of the kitchen, out of the house, down the driveway. She didn't stop until she hit the blacktop road, and then she only slowed to a walk. Tears were streaming down her face. She had no idea where she was going. She was going anywhere that wasn't where she came from.

She'd lost track of where she was and how long she'd been walking as the sun continued its path down the sky. She could barely see it over the trees that surrounded the sides of the road. So far she hadn't seen one car, at least that she'd noticed. She was lost in her thoughts until her phone rang.

Without looking, without thinking, she answered.

"Bella!" came Alice's happy voice. "We just passed the 'Welcome to Forks sign.' I'll be at my house in ten minutes, meet me there."

"Alice," Bella croaked, unsure if her words made sense. "Alice, I need you."

"Bella? What's wrong? Where are you?" Alice was no longer happy. Her voice was thick with worry.

Bella could only repeat, "I need you, Alice."

Alice spoke to whoever was driving the car as Bella heard hushed voices. She didn't even bother to try and make sense of them. Why would that make sense when nothing else did?

"I'm coming, Bella. I'll be right there. Just hang on."

Bella didn't even bother to hang up the phone, even after Alice had. Her hand just dropped to her side, holding the phone limply, as though it was a life preserver to save her and she'd given up hope of being saved. She kept walking, as the sky darkened more quickly now.

It wasn't even five minutes later, that Alice's car pulled up alongside her. Alice jumped out of the passenger side and pulled Bella into a hug. At the contact, Bella lost any control she regained. As her body reacted, her mind was in overdrive. Bella finally understood the meaning of an out-of-body experience. It felt like she was watching the scene from ten feet away, not feeling what was really happening to her, but seeing it. She couldn't believe her body could produce as many tears as it was. It was only a matter of time before her eyes were dried up. Bella knew that wouldn't stop her, she knew her crying would turn to dry hiccupping. Alice pulled Bella onto her lap in the front seat, closing the door behind them.

"Jasper?" Bella croaked out as she saw who was driving. He reached over to grip her shoulder, but even his normally soothing manner couldn't help her.

"He was waiting for me when I got home. I figured he could drive so I didn't have to when we got you," Alice explained. She pulled Bella's face up, so her eyes could meet hers. Alice took in Bella's appearance. There was grease stained on Bella's face. Her eyes were red and puffy and she was heaving trying to get enough oxygen.

"Calm down, Bella. You've got to calm down," Alice tried soothing her. She rubbed her hand along her back. "What happened, Bella?"

That simple, expected question, threw Bella into another frenzy and no amount of soothing could help her.

Jasper pulled into the Cullen's driveway, which was surprisingly empty.

"Where is everyone?" Bella croaked out, noticing the lack of cars as part of her out-of-body self. She was expecting a bustle of activity since they'd just returned from their trip.

"My mom and I are the only ones home so far. My dad, Emmett and Edward should be back in a couple of hours. They flew into Chicago a day before Mom and I left to get Edward's car and are driving it home. Mom already parked the car in the garage."

At the mention of a mother, Bella lost all the control she'd held onto while asking her question. Jasper made his way around to the passenger side, opened the door and scooped Bella into his arms. She didn't object because she knew she'd never make it on her own. He carried her into the house, up the stairs and into Alice's room. He placed her on the bed and tried soothing her while Alice remained downstairs to explain to Esme.

Quickly, Bella fell asleep, despite the early hour. Jasper left soon after helping Bella relax, leaving Alice and Esme to wait for the boys. They called first, telling Carlisle the situation, who urged Edward to drive faster. He managed to cut an hour off their trip, arriving just after eight o'clock. Edward exhausted from the entire experience of the vacation immediately went upstairs to his room. He was too preoccupied with his own pain to be concerned about someone else's. Emmett rushed off to see Rosalie, before returning home to help.

That left Alice to pace back and forth in front of the wall-sized window while Carlisle called Charlie and Esme listened in on the other extension. Charlie explained the heart of the situation and asked them to keep track of Bella over the next few days while he made sense of things. He asked Carlisle to make sure Bella called him when she was feeling up to it. The devastation in his voice made Esme tear up at his heartbreak and they quickly promised to his requests.


	10. The Sunset Still Looks Fake to Me

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: Heartbreaking, tragic, intense. Did I miss any words to describe that last chapter? It was all of those things, but you all seem to have tolerated it well enough. I'm having a tough time myself getting past that – so while it's still emotion-riddled, nothing as intense as that was. Thanks for sticking with it and thank you so much for all the great reviews you are giving! It means the world to get the compliments you're so willing to give out. A few of you are quite perceptive when it comes to thinking about where this story is taking us as far as Edward and Bella meeting. Hopefully it lives up to your expectations. Here it is…**

**perfectshadeofdarkblue**

**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**10 – The Sunset Still Looks Fake to Me**

The Cullen household only seemed to get quieter over the course of the next day. After Carlisle and Esme had spoken to Charlie, they filled Alice in on the situation to prepare her for what they expected would be a long road to recovery for Bella. Alice didn't take the news well. Anticipating where the story was going, she began crying only after a few sentences were muttered. Emmett returned home during the retelling and, after being filled in on the gory details, needed to be calmed down from his angry. He hadn't gotten the chance to witness the state Bella was in, but his temper got away from him at the will of his sheer imagination. That night Alice slept in the guest room, afraid to even stir Bella.

In all the worry about Bella, who didn't get out of bed once the entire next day, Carlisle and Esme forgot to be worried about Edward's transition. His first night in Forks resulted in a restless sleep. He tossed and turned throughout the night, unable to feel at ease. He woke several times, in a sweat and unable to associate himself with his surroundings. He felt lost.

Late the next morning, he padded downstairs, still in his pajamas. Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie were all sitting in the living room, silently watching the television.

"Morning," Edward greeted, taking a seat at the chair facing Emmett. He had grabbed some toast from the kitchen and was now eating it while his gaze drifted around the room. He'd never met Jasper or Rosalie, although he'd heard quite a bit about them during the vacation in Italy.

"Hey, man. I'm Jasper," Jasper waved, unable to get up because Alice was leaning against him, blankly staring at the television.

"Rosalie," she stood and leaned over to Edward to shake his hand. As she sat back down next to Emmett, she took in Edward's appearance. Granted his hair was a mess from sleeping and it didn't look like sleep had been good to him, but Rosalie was sure that once he cleaned up a bit, he was as good looking as Emmett.

"Nice to meet you both. So what's going on?" Edward said, finally taking in the sullen looks.

Jasper looked to Alice for permission before answering.

"Have you met Bella?" he started.

Edward shook his head in denial.

"Bella is Alice's best friend." At the phrase, Alice clenched onto the pillow she was holding. Jasper tightened his grip around her, understanding how much it hurt her to know there wasn't anything she could do to make the situation any better. For her sake, he tried to word it as gently as possible. "She came over yesterday after she walked in on her mom having an affair."

The gasp escaped Rosalie's lips. "What?"

They all just looked at her. "Rose, I told you about Bella."

"No, Emmett. You told me she found out her mother was having an affair. You did not tell me she walked in on it!" Rosalie couldn't believe Emmett would leave this sort of detail out. Here, Rosalie had been sitting, not really understanding why everyone was so bent out of shape over Bella – especially Emmett. So her mom cheated, that sort of thing happens. Rosalie felt awful for not being more considerate, for letting her jealousy get the best of her. Their reactions were completely normal and not just normal for the fact that they considered Bella a part of the family.

"I don't mean to sound rude, but does it really matter?" Edward said in a hard voice.

Now it was his turn to be stared at.

"It just seems to be a moot point - a matter of semantics."

They kept staring at him.

"Sucks either way," he amended, unconvincingly.

They all dropped their eyes. How could they be so insensitive? Edward could practically read their thoughts. Here they were, openly talking about parents, which they assumed would remind him of his. And to think, he'd started the day off so well.

"I'm going upstairs," he announced and left the room.

Edward spent the rest of the day in his room, only coming down for meals. Throughout the day, Alice would bring a tray of food up to Bella. Every time she opened the door to her room, she found that Bella had barely moved from her last position. She was still in bed, assumed sleeping, with her back to the door. Alice replaced the tray on the desk each visit, bringing the untouched food downstairs.

The Cullens' first official night home for dinner as a new family, they didn't eat together.

That night, Edward sat on the bed that Alice and Esme had picked out. Cross-legged, facing the large window – just like he'd been most of the day. His thoughts were lost in the starry night above Forks.

He couldn't believe how different the sky looked here from Chicago. Often Edward had sneaked to the roof of his building during the night to steal looks at the sky. In fact, his favorite place to take a girl on a date was the Sears Tower observation deck. Even though it was a bit touristy, not enough city residents took advantage of the view. There was something exhilarating about watching the city from on high. Edward particularly enjoyed looking down on Navy Pier, imaging the fun times others were having on the Ferris wheel. The distance was far too great but that didn't stop him from thinking he could see the joy on their faces.

That was a typical first date he planned. And his date's opinion of his favorite sight, seeing Navy Pier from 108 stories up, determined whether there was a second.

Edward looked around his room, eyeing the luggage he'd yet to unpack. His entire life had been transferred from Chicago to Forks in a few measly suitcases. When packing, he'd decided to throw out most of his things, not wanting to bring the memories they'd contained with him. For a moment he debated unpacking but eventually decided against it, opting for sleep instead.

He tossed and turned in the dark for a few hours before giving up on sleep entirely. He threw himself out of the bed and began putting away his belongings hastily. He was hoping that maybe he'd feel more at ease if he showed some sense of ownership over the room. After hanging his last shirt, he removed the framed family photo from his suitcase. Staring into the sparkling eyes of his mother, he realized he'd never again hear a comment about his looked just like hers.

Tears had begun to fall by the time he set the picture on his nightstand and crawled back into bed.

His tired mind finally shut down and provided his body with the rest it so desperately needed. He reveled at the sensation of sleep that was slowly working its way into his muscles. But just as his muscles were completely relaxed, he felt his body jerk awake.

He was standing at the entrance to the Sears Tower on Wacker Street in Chicago. In the dark, the glass of the building towering above him reflected the light of the moon. Looking around, wondering how he got there, he noticed the street was completely deserted. Even at whatever time of night it was, this street was never deserted. People were always milling about in Chicago. Then, as though time sped up, the sun rose quickly in the sky. Edward was now blinded by the amount of light being reflected. He shut his eyes tight, trying to adjust.

At the sound of a horn, his eyes flew open. He watched as a car approached. Only when it passed his spot on the sidewalk did he realize it was his parents' car and that they were inside. The car began to slow as they came to a stoplight. Edward watched as the light changed from red to green. He watched as the car accelerated, passing underneath the glowing green light. He watched the car spin out of control as another car blew through the intersection, colliding with his parents.

Edward sat up in bed. His breathing was heavy and sweat was dripping down his forehead and bare chest. Slowly he left his bed and pulled a shirt on as he walked down the stairs. He knew there was no chance he'd fall asleep again after that.

-

Bella looked up when she heard the door click shut. The aroma of food had hit her when Alice walked in the room with a dinner tray, but Bella continued to pretend to be asleep. She really didn't feel like having to talk. She breathed in deep and felt sick to her stomach. There was nothing in her stomach to displace since she hadn't eaten since the morning before. At the smell of the food, she realized she wasn't hungry, even though she felt like she should be.

Bella sat up in bed and stared at the food. She could see the steam rolling off the bowl of soup and eyed the crackers sitting around the edge of the plate. Nope, still not hungry.

She laid back and didn't need to try in order for sleep to claim her. No matter how much sleep she'd gotten over the last 24 hours, Bella didn't think she'd ever be rested. Maybe if she slept enough, she could convince her body that it was all a dream – that none of it had ever happened. One could only dream.

And dream she did. Several hours later she awoke with a start, after reliving the entire experience through a dream. She couldn't get the sight of Renee's torn shirt on the floor out of her mind. She tried to fall asleep, but the images remained.

Getting out of bed, Bella figured missing a few minutes of sleep to get a glass of water wouldn't kill her. She hoped the movement, after being still for so long, would tire her body.

After replacing the glass in the sink, she was making her way out of the kitchen when something caught her eye through the windowed wall. Someone was sitting outside. The person was so still that Bella wondered what it was that caught her attention. Without thinking, she walked closer to the door leading outside, her eyes never leaving the stranger.

Finally she noticed the movement that had caught her eye. She paused before opening the door, watching his head slowly shake. The tiny moves were throwing the moonlight off his bronze hair. Bella stood still, looking at his profile against the dark forest. It almost appeared as though the skin on his face was shining.

She pushed the door open, intrigued. She walked slowly, not wanting to alarm this person. In the back of her mind, all the possibilities were racing. This could be a burglar. The front of her mind asked why a burglar would be sitting outside the house. She couldn't think of an answer to that.

Her eyes were riveted as the skin sparkled even more. Tears, her mind filled in.

He was crying.

Edward, her mind thrust the answer forward.

Of course, the only other person to be awake and moving at this time of night would be the only other person in the house going through a heartbreak similar to hers.

She sat down in the chair across from him. Slowly his gaze met hers, but neither said a word.

As Bella stared into his crying eyes, her mind finally shut up. Looking into his eyes like sunsets, Bella could sense he was waiting for her to say something. She couldn't get past the beautiful, glazed-over green that was staring back. There was so much sadness for what had come to pass, but she could also see the promise of a tomorrow, just like a sunset - a promise of something to come after the night, after the darkness.

"I'm sorry." The apology escaped her lips.

"Excuse me?" Edward focused on her. For a moment he'd gotten completely lost in her sadness that he'd forgotten the silence between them was not natural. Now he took the time to really look at the girl sitting before him. She'd looked like hell, he thought. Her hair hung down her shoulders as a tangled mess. Her face was chalky, transparent almost. Her eyes, rimmed with red, were full of sadness. As if Edward's heartache wasn't already enough, the pain multiplied at the possibility of something hurting a person as much as whatever it was, being reflected in this girl's eyes. Then he realized, this was Bella. This was the girl who'd walked in on her mother. Suddenly, Edward felt terrible for dismissing her pain so easily earlier.

"I'm sorry," she repeated louder this time. "About your parents."

At the funeral, Edward had become familiar with the look of pity from people when they offered their condolences. He saw nothing of the sort from Bella. Was it envy he saw in its place? He nodded his head, not knowing how to respond to such a sincere comment.

"I'm Bella, by the way." Her voice was rough, heavy with sleep combined with a hoarseness that came from not speaking for a few days. Almost as if she was out of practice.

"I know," he answered softly.

"Oh," Bella hadn't meant to interrupt his time outside, but she'd had limited contact recently and was itching for a conversation. But she didn't want to talk about what happened. She thought maybe Edward could understand that. "Impressive, isn't it?"

"What is?" Edward was having a hard time keeping up, but maybe he just wasn't trying hard enough. He'd let his mind wander again, thinking of the stars in the sky.

"The stars, the sky. The whole thing. Take your pick," the words flew out of Bella's mouth as she watched his gaze shift. She was surprised at finding how easy it came to talk again. "It's all just so impressive."

"How do you mean?" Edward inquired.

"Well, I guess I'm talking about the stars mostly. But they wouldn't be the same without everything else. You don't think it's impressive?"

Bella could actually tell Edward was taking the moment to really think about it. She watched as he turned his eyes back toward the sky and ran a hand through his messy hair.

"I guess, I just never thought of describing it as impressive before. Beautiful, yes, and breathtaking, sure, but more I thought, captivating," he answered honestly. "Why impressive?"

"Just think about it. For how many years have people looked to the stars? And for what purposes? Mostly guidance, right?" She looked to him for agreement and he nodded his head. "But the kind of guidance is what makes it so different for each person. The sailors who travel by the North Star, or used to at least, use them for actual guidance. And shooting stars – people who make a wish on them are simply hoping for their lives to be guided in a certain direction. We often view our heavens as being among the clouds and stars – the new homes to those that we've lost. And you, you're looking up for guidance, too."

His attention was back on Bella when she turned her enlightened thoughts back to him. She gave him a small smile.

"You may not just know it yet," she corrected.

"What makes that so impressive?" Edward's voice was hard now, purposely ignoring her assumption.

"You don't get it?"

He shook his head.

"Every single person on this earth can look up and see this same bright night sky. And each one can and will take something different from it, depending on what they need right then. Just like us right now, we're both seeing something different."

"And what are you seeing?" Edward forgot the anger he'd felt only moments before. He was constantly being surprised by the words leaving her mouth. They were both in such similar situations, they were both in the wake of such tragedies, how could they be seeing something so different?

"Impossibility."

"What?" Again, he was caught off guard.

"Tell me what you see and I'll explain."

"Hope."

"Why?" she asked, trying to pull a few more words from him. His voice was soothing, rich like velvet and she longed to hear more of it. She could hear the hope in his voice and thought if she hear it enough, some would make its way into her heart.

"You first," he insisted.

"Fair enough. Right now, I can't wrap my head around the idea that there's so much more out there," she motioned to the sky. "Those stars, shining, twinkling down on us – I can't believe they're so far away. I can't believe they aren't what we imagine."

"What do you imagine?"

"A pentagram," Bella joked. "So explain hope."

Bella had succeeded in lightening the mood. Edward didn't feel so self-conscious about explaining if she was laughing. "All the endless possibilities the stars hold. That makes it difficult to think that anything's not possible." With a sad laugh, he added, "Kind of opposite of what you're saying."

"But that's okay," Bella quickly insisted. "You have to see what you see. If you see hope, then that's where the stars are guiding you. I just can't make sense of mine right now."

A tear fell down her cheek.

"I'm sorry, too, you know," Edward whispered quietly in the dark. "About what you saw."

"Don't," Bella toughened herself up.

"Why not? You can mention my parents' deaths but I can't tell you that I'm sorry you're in pain?" His anger took over again.

"I don't want your pity."

"My pity?" He was shocked. After all the fake reassurances he'd gotten over the past month, he would never attempt to do that.

"I don't want you to feel sorry for me. I don't want you to think that it's such a shame that my parents purposefully pulled away from me. That they purposefully showed me they don't care anymore. At least your parents died loving you. You can move on, you are moving on, because you know that. And what am I left with?" Bella was practically shouting, begging for an answer.

Edward had never thought of it that way. All this time, he'd felt mad that his parents are left him to fend for himself. Not mad at his parents, but mad at the world for working in this tormented way. He'd never focused on the fact that his parents hadn't chosen to rip their family apart – they'd been forced to leave.

"You're right," he confirmed, still staring into the night. He didn't think he could take seeing another human this hurt.

"What?"

"I said you're right," this time he looked straight at her. He ignored her messy hair, her hard demeanor, her sleep-riddled face and focused solely on the depths of her chocolate brown eyes. "My parents died loving me."

A sense of peace washed over Edward. He felt renewed and tired all at the same time. Sleep would finally come easy, he could tell. Pushing back his chair, he stood up and disappeared in the house leaving Bella outside alone.

She sat, not looking at the stars above her, but instead into the dark forest in front of her. Edward's last words rang in her head. His parents died loving him. His family had ended while his parents loved him. Unlike hers. His family had died in love, and hers had died in betrayal. For the first time since leaving home, she let the tears fall freely. She made no attempt to stop them.

But this time, she wasn't just crying over the loss of a love you're never suppose to lose, but also for the fact that a person could be so cruel as to rub it in. She'd found herself opening up to Edward. She'd felt so comfortable talking to him. After being so scared to talk to another person, to tell them what was hurting her, to open up, the first person she encountered she'd thrown the idea out the window. It hadn't mattered when she was around him.

She wouldn't let that happen again. Bella vowed to never again let herself be disappointed by another person. She vowed to never be disappointed. Disappointment only came from reality didn't match expectations – Bella would never have expectations again.

Upstairs, Edward crawled into his bed, smiling as sleep came naturally. He sighed, marveling at how never again would he be faced with a sleepless night because of his parents. A smile spread across his face at the mention of his parents. They loved him. How could he have forgotten such a simple fact? They loved him and would still love him. He had to remember that. He had to remember that they were looking down on him, showing their love in the life he continued to lead. They were watching from on high.

Edward reminded himself to properly thank Bella in the morning. She'd done what no one else could in the past month. She'd made him smile at the memory of his parents, and she hadn't even been trying. What an amazing accomplishment he thought.

As sleep washed over him, he recounted the entire evening. It had started with him sitting in his room, never feeling more alone, remembering how he judged his dates over their opinions of the Chicago night. It ended with him sleeping alone in his room, but feeling the greatest for the first time since that fateful night. Bella had freely offered her opinion of the stars, surprising Edward time after time. It hadn't even been a date and Edward thought she deserved a second one. It was truly amazed at how healing she'd been without trying. He was looking forward to see what else she had hidden up her sleeve.


	11. All That You Left For Me

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**Thanks for all the reviews and kind words. You guys are really all great! Just a heads up: classes have started for me, which means I've got a lot less time to write. I'll still be continuing, but it will be a bit sporadic. I'm going to try to update twice a week. I'll know better once I've worked out some semblance of a regular schedule this week. Now, enjoy…**

**perfectshadeofdarkblue**

* * *

**­­­**

**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**11 – All That You Left For Me**

Alice woke at her usual time the next morning. She pushed the patterned duvet off her small body and pattered down the hall. Slowly opening the door so as not to wake Bella, she made her way to the bathroom and brushed her teeth. On her way back out, she took a good look at her depressed friend.

Bella was curled on her side under the heavy blankets. Alice could see the elastic that once held her brown hair in a pony tail on the pillow beside her. Her hair had come loose during the course of the night and was fanned around her on the pillow. Bella was clutching the blankets, pulling them underneath her chin.

Kneeling on the bed, Alice leaned over and gently shook Bella's shoulder.

"Bella…Bella," Alice urged her awake.

After a few moments of the soft nudging, Bella's eyes fluttered open as she rolled onto her back. She took in her surroundings until her eyes came to rest on Alice. She closed her eyes again and turned back, pulling the blankets over her even more.

"Go away," she whispered.

Alice didn't need to be told twice. She left the room, shutting the door behind her and continued to the kitchen where her mother was sitting at the table. Esme had the newspaper laid out before her and a cup of steaming coffee in her hands. She was fully dressed and ready to start the day, despite the early hour.

"Where're you going, Mom?" Alice asked, taking a place across from her mother at the table.

Esme looked up from the paper to answer. "I've got a few errands to run and wanted to get them down early in case Bella decided to get up today. I was going to stop by her house and grab some clothes for her. Maybe she'll feel better once she's had a shower and put on some clean clothes."

"Chief Swan doesn't care that Bella's staying here now?" Alice asked curiously.

"No, he doesn't, dear. Charlie's going through a tough time with this himself. I don't think he knows how to help Bella while he's suffering. He's able to recognize Bella needs some time, so he's allowing her that," Esme explained.

"You don't think Bella could use having her dad around? He might be the only one she wants to talk to."

"She still hasn't said anything?" Esme said, realizing where Alice's concern was coming from.

"No. I tried to wake her up this morning and talk to her, but she just told me to go away. I don't know what to do," Alice said defeated.

"I know it's hard, sweetie, and it's okay to be worried about her, but there may just not be anything you can do. Bella will come around eventually and all you can do now is be there for her." Esme tried to comfort her daughter, grabbing her hand across the table.

Alice pulled her hand away. "How am I supposed to be there for her if she won't let me?"

"Give it time, Alice. Don't rush her."

The pair sat in silence for a few minutes contemplating the older woman's words. In the quiet, Emmett walked downstairs and prepared himself a bowl of cereal. He sat down at on the couch, turning the television on. While he flipped through the channels until stopping at cartoons, Alice made toast to eat. When she finished, she washed it down with a glass of orange juice then set about preparing something for Bella, in case she'd changed her mind.

Again, she entered the room quietly and placed the tray on the desk. When she turned around she saw that Bella was still in the same position as earlier. After taking in Bella's tired face full of sleep, Alice decided against waking her, opting to try later instead.

"Bella still sleeping?" Alice heard over the click of the shutting door when she was in the hallway.

She looked up to see Edward paused on the stairs. He was still in his pajamas, but Alice noticed he didn't look at tired. She nodded while passing him.

Edward, however, stayed right where he was. In disbelief, he asked, "She's not getting up today again?"

Alice turned on the step to look at him. He'd never so much as mentioned Bella before, never mind inquire about her status. "Guess not. Why does it matter to you?"

Edward wasn't sure whether he should mention his conversation with Bella during the night. He could tell Alice was already upset enough about Bella refusing to get up and talk to her and he didn't want to make her even angrier by saying she'd talked to him. He recovered quickly, saying, "It doesn't. I just thought that after spending all of yesterday in bed, today would be different."

He turned and walked down the stairs in front of Alice to play up his nonchalance. She trailed behind him on the stairs, taking a place on the couch next to Emmett while Edward fixed his own breakfast.

The day continued quietly for the Cullens. While Carlisle was at work, Alice accompanied her mother on the errands that needed running. Emmett and Edward spent the day on the couch, playing video games. Upon Esme and Alice's arrival, Alice joined the game and Esme started preparing dinner. Soon Carlisle returned home and the family ate their first meal together in Forks.

Bella didn't stir until after dinner.

Rosalie and Jasper had made their way over and they were all gathered outside on the porch, basking in the summer air. Jasper was idly fingering his guitar while the conversation carried on around him. Occasionally, he joined in as the group's discussion centered around their favorite baseball teams.

The night was alive with their voices as Bella woke up. She stayed in bed, listening to the exclamations float through the air. She listened as Alice's and Jasper's voices slowly faded out. Bella noticed that as Jasper grew quiet, his playing grew louder. Soon, though, Emmett's and Rosalie's voices blocked out the other sounds as the debate over cars heated up. Not understanding most of what was being said, Bella tuned it out. That was until Edward spoke up.

The group was quiet to hear his thoughts. The sound of his smooth voice over Jasper's delicate playing sounded like music to Bella's ears. She didn't listen to a word he was saying, only focusing on the sounds it made.

And just like that, it was over. Emmett's voice rose in outrage and Rosalie cheered. Edward seemed to have agreed with Rosalie and Emmett felt betrayed at the decision. Laughter reached Bella as the group found the hilarity in the situation. After the outburst of happiness, they fell into an easy quiet. Bella thought it would have been the perfect time for Jasper to start a new song, which she would have joined in singing, but nothing of the sort came.

Suddenly, Bella missed her friends. Feeling a pull to be a part of the group, she quickly got out of the bed and went downstairs. Before stepping outside, she memorized the details of the scene in front of her. She watched, but couldn't hear, as Rosalie spoke to the group. Her eyes weren't focused on anyone in particular; it looked as though she were recounting a story. Bella saw Alice start to talk over her and Rosalie nodded her head as Alice finished the tale. Jasper and Emmett shared a quiet laugh as Edward had a look of disbelief on his face. He spoke one word, but Bella wasn't quick enough to catch it. However, she did see as Alice nodded fervently back and Bella could make out the word "really" on her lips.

Then Jasper looked up and saw Bella watching. Not wanting to do the wrong thing, he simply stared. He didn't want to urge her to join them if she wasn't ready and he didn't want to scare her away. After a moment, his look turned questioning as the group continued to talk around him, too wrapped up in their words to notice he'd stopped playing. Bella offered him a half-smile as she took her first step toward the door.

The sound of the guitar swelled as Jasper suddenly began playing again. Every head in the group turned toward him as Bella silently slide the glass door opened. She paused, waiting for the song to come to here. It didn't until the words accompanied the melody.

"_Anywhere you go, anyone you meet,_" Jasper sang out. "_Remember that your eyes can be your enemies. I said, hell is so close and heaven's out of reach._"

He looked up at Bella, causing everyone else's gaze to shift. Their eyes got wide as Jasper sang to her, "_But I ain't giving up quite yet. I've got too much to lose._"

Bella walked through the circle they formed and sat besides Alice. The tiny girl's face lit up as she wrapped her arm around Bella and let her melt into her body. Bella rested her head on Alice's shoulder as Jasper continued.

"_Hold me down, sweet and low little girl. Hold me down, sweet and low and I will carry you home. Hold me down, sweet and low little girl. Hold me down, and I'll carry you home._"

Alice wiped a tear away with her free hand as the song choice suddenly made sense. Jasper had picked Augustana's "Sweet and Low" for Bella. He must have seen her come outside before anyone else.

"_The rain is gonna fall, the sun is gonna shine. The wind is gonna blow, the waters gonna rise. She said when that day comes look into my eyes._" This time Jasper wasn't singing alone. Trying to see who the musical voice belong to, Bella looked over to see Edward's lips moving while he stared into the night. He dropped out for the last line, leaving Jasper's voice behind, singing "_But no one's giving up quite yet, we've got too much to lose._"

Edward sang with Jasper again for the chorus, louder this time. "_Hold me down, sweet and low little girl. Hold me down, sweet and low and I will carry you home. Hold me down, sweet and low little girl. Hold me down, and I'll carry you home._"

As Jasper sang the chorus again, by himself, Emmett and Rosalie left the gathering and returned inside. Bella stayed in Alice's arms, not noticing when the music faded out.

"Come on, man," Jasper said to Edward, leaving the two girls to themselves.

Edward hesitated a moment, wanting to thank Bella for the previous night, but also not wanting to infringe on Alice's time with her.

The quiet shutting of the glass door was the only trigger Bella needed. She immediately began crying like she had only a few days before. Alice comforted her, more prepared this time around.

"Bella, it's alright. I'm here," she cooed.

"Alice…it was…it was horrible, Alice," Bella sobbed. Her breathing was ragged.

"Shhhh, Bella. Just calm down, it's alright," Alice didn't want to tell Bella everything was okay when it obviously wasn't, but she wanted her best friend to know that, at least while she was there, everything was alright.

Bella took a second to focus on her breathing. Within a few minutes, she'd managed to calm herself. She was no longer sobbing, only allowing the quiet tears to fall down her cheeks, matching Alice's. Alice led Bella upstairs, climbing into her bed beside Bella, never letting go of her once.

"We don't have to talk about it, Bella. But just know that I'll listen, if you ever want to," Alice promised.

"I just…I just don't even know where to start. It's like I can see the whole thing in my head, but can't put it into words. It's too horrible for words," Bella fought against a new wave of tears.

"I know, Bella. I'm sorry," Alice had no other words, no other truths to offer.

"How could she just throw our family away like that? Didn't it mean anything to her? Didn't I mean anything to her?" Bella was searching for answers she doubted she'd ever find.

"Of course, you meant something to her, Bella. She loved you, but I don't know why she did what she did. And we've really got no way of knowing."

"How do we go on from here? What's left for us? What's left for me?"

"There's plenty left for you. Bella, you've got us. We're still your family – I'm still your family. And I'll always be. Remember that. You've still got your dad, too. Don't forget him in all this."

"I don't have him! And I guess I never did. Alice, he didn't even put up a fight. It was like he didn't care, he didn't even try to do anything. It was almost as horrible to watch him just stand there as…" she trailed off, not finding the words to describe.

"Oh, Bella, don't say that," Alice urged. "You still have Charlie. You've got to believe that. He was shocked, so were you. You've got to talk to him."

"I can't. Not now."

"You don't have to know, but you really should soon. Just think about it, okay?"

"Okay," Bella promised as she settled into the sheets. "I'll think about it."


	12. Always Afraid of What You Can't Control

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: AMAZING! That's what you all are. Thanks for all the feedback and for being so awesome! I'm always so excited to see how much you all are liking the story, so please…keep those great reviews coming! And to those of you who comment on one specific part that you really liked – that's awesome! I like knowing what you are enjoying the most! Anyway, I know the last chapter was bit shorter, but I think that's how things are going to go for now. Since I'm getting busy, it's much easier to write a shorter chapter. So this way, it will actually be feasible for me to update twice a week like I want to. And now, enjoy…**

**-perfectshadeofdarkblue**

* * *

**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**12 – Always Afraid of What You Can't Control**

"Charlie? It's Carlisle," the young doctor spoke into the phone while taking a seat at the table. His wife was in the kitchen, scrambling eggs for breakfast.

"Morning." The voice was no louder than a whisper, sounding as though merely a ghost of its former self.

"How are you doing, Charlie?" Concern blanketed every aspect of the question.

"Alright," Charlie said again, sticking to speaking as little as possible.

"Are you going into work again today?" Carlisle knew the answer, but wanted confirmation, trying to draw responses out of the older man.

"Got nothing else to do." Charlie typically didn't work on Sundays unless he was needed at the police station, which rarely happened in the small, quiet town of Forks. But ever since he'd caught his wife cheating on him four days earlier, he'd nothing but work for the sake of having something to take his mind off things. He couldn't bear to have a minute to himself, to be left alone with his thoughts.

"You're always welcome to come over here. I'm sure it might do some good to get out of your house, maybe spend some time with Bella."

"I doubt that'd do her any good," Charlie mumbled back.

"I think you're wrong about that," Carlisle said adamantly.

"I'm sure I'm right, Carlisle," for the first time, the voice was louder than a whisper. "I'm sure she hates me now. After all it's all my fault, she's right to blame me, to hate me. I was doing something wrong to let this happen and another thing wrong to let her see it like she did."

There was silence for a moment before Carlisle continued.

"Have you talked to Renee, Charlie?" he asked quietly.

"No," Charlie admitted.

"Has she called?"

"Yes."

"You can't avoid talking to her, Charlie, just like you can't avoid talking to Bella just because you don't know what to say." It was the same argument Carlisle had argued over the past four days, never making as little as a dent in Charlie's demeanor.

Esme set the eggs down in front of her husband and held out her hand, palm up. She had a stern look on her face, as though she were about to scold one of her children. Carlisle handed the phone over, shrugging his shoulders. As he started eating, Esme planted a kiss on his cheek in goodbye and walked towards the porch.

"It's Esme, Charlie." She didn't want for acknowledgement before continuing, "Anything I can do for you?"

"No, Esme, really, I'm fine." Charlie didn't want anyone making a fuss over him, especially the Cullens who were already doing so much by looking after Bella. Charlie was sure he'd be fine; he just needed something to distract him for awhile.

"What about dinner? You've been working so much, you probably haven't even been eating. I'll cook some food for you. Bella and I can bring it over later today," Esme was refusing to let him turn her offer down.

"That's really not necessary."

"That doesn't matter. I'd like to do it for you, plus it'll be nice for Bella to have something to do – to get out of the house."

Charlie's interest peaked at the mention of his daughter's name. He sounded hurt as he asked, "She's not doing well?"

"About as well as can be expected," Esme answered.

"Are you sure she should be coming over here then?" He wanted to see his daughter, more than anything, but he didn't want her to feel uncomfortable, seeing him or returning to the scene of the incident.

"Of course. She needs to see you. She's lost now, doesn't know what to do. You can help her."

"I can't help her. I don't even know how to help myself, how can you expect me to know what to say to her?" he admitted quietly.

"It'll come to you," Esme reassured him.

"How can you be so sure?" Charlie asked defiantly.

"Have faith, Charlie," she paused then, giving him one last chance to rebut. "We'll stop by later tonight, Charlie."

Esme walked back inside to replace the phone on its cradle and could see her husband's black car leave the driveway on his way to work. She set the work cleaning the kitchen from the first round of breakfast while she waited for the others to make their way downstairs for their meals. Much too soon, Emmett was bounding down the stairs.

"You're up awfully early this morning," Esme exclaimed. It was not normal for her son to be out bed before the sun was half way up the sky.

"Rose and I are going to the beach today. She wanted to get a head start," Emmett replied, shrugging her shoulders.

Esme smiled at the things he would do for his girlfriend. She truly did bring out the best in her son and she couldn't be happier for the couple. "Do you at least have time for breakfast?"

"We were planning on getting it on the way."

"You two have fun today then! And I want you both here for dinner tonight – it's going to be entirely too soon that I'll hardly get to see you once you're off at college," she wrapped Emmett into a hug.

"Mom," he whined, before caving into the hug. He wasn't ready for his mother to bring up his moving out, not with everything else going on, but it didn't change the fact that it was quickly approaching.

They pulled away from each other and Emmett had the feeling that his mother was realizing how much time was slipping away as they had been so caught up in everything.

"Rose and I can go to the beach another day. Is there anything you want me to do around here today?" He asked, thoughtfully.

"No, no. Don't be silly – go. Go!"

Emmett leaned down to kiss her cheek before continuing out the door.

"I'll see you for dinner tonight!" Esme called out after him.

Humming to herself, she quickly finished cleaning and moved onto the pile of laundry that had been lately neglected. Esme put one load into the washer walked back to the kitchen table to read the newspaper while she waited. She found Edward standing in the kitchen, putting together a bowl of cereal.

"Want me to put something together for you?" she asked, sweetly.

"No, thanks. I prefer cereal in the mornings," he answered, offering a sincere smile.

"Are you sure? I can't make you pancakes, or waffles? Nothing?"

"Oh! I'll take pancakes!" Alice's chipper voice sounded as she walked into the kitchen.

"Pancakes it is, then! Edward?" Esme offered again.

"No, really. I'm fine with cereal." He sat down at the table to start eating. Alice sat across from him.

"Make some for Bella, too, Mom. She's in the shower now but should be down soon," Alice informed. Esme nodded and started preparing the food.

"What are you guys doing today?" Edward asked in between bites.

"Oh, probably, nothing," Alice answered, off-handedly while smoothing down her hair that was sticking in all directions. "What about you?"

"I was actually hoping to get out of the house today a bit. I thought maybe I could drive around town, see what was here, but I understand Forks isn't very large. So maybe I'll head down to Port Angeles, that's a bit bigger, correct?"

"It is, but not by much," Alice answered with a laugh.

"Well, I was just thinking of walking around a bit. Would you and Bella like to come?" He wasn't sure whether he wanted them to come or not. On the one hand, he was hoping for the chance to get a present for Bella, to thank her for the advice she offered, something to also help her. That would be much easier if she weren't there. But on the other hand, he wanted to the chance to get to know her better.

Alice solved his silent dilemma by saying, "I doubt Bella would really be up for it today. Maybe another time though."

Esme was just setting down two plates of pancakes when Bella made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Thanks, Esme. It smells delicious!" Bella exclaimed, taking a seat at the table.

"You're welcome, dear. I'm glad to see you're feeling better," she said, gently placing a hand on Bella's shoulder while the girl looked at her and smiled.

The girls were silent while eating and Edward slipped upstairs to shower and get dressed. By the time he had finished, Alice and Bella had disappeared. He told Esme of his plan to walk around Port Angeles for some time to think.

Edward rolled down his window on the highway, letting the wind whip through his bronzed hair. The speakers were loud, pushing the sounds of the mixed CD out. The CD playing was one of his favorites, one that, even though it was from his mother, he was unable to get rid of. It was one of the few reminders he consciously kept of his parents. He'd opted for silence at first, but soon, with the feel of the road behind him, the wind through his window and the sun streaming down, even with the black clouds on the horizon, he felt at peace – something he always felt while driving. The fast, smooth ride of his silver Volvo always had a comforting effect and without realizing, he'd reached for the CD and pressed play. His fingers drummed against the black steering wheel as though he were playing the piano along with the music.

With those perfect conditions, he made it Port Angeles in record time. It took a considerably longer time for Edward to find the perfect gift for Bella as he made his way through the streets. After about an hour of mindless wandering, Edward purchased an item at a quaint bookstore, hoping it would say all the things to Bella he was thinking.

After breakfast, Bella and Alice had made their way back to Alice's room. While Alice showered, Bella turned her phone on for the first time since she'd unofficially moved in with the Cullen's. There were several messages from Jacob. Bella hadn't thought about him once since she'd last seen him, nor had she spoken to him, but it seemed as though he knew what had happened. Each next message had a new air of urgency and worry laced through, but Bella couldn't bring herself to call him back.

Her relationship with Jacob so far had been only bright and sunny, much like how she viewed his personality. She didn't want to bring anything into it that didn't belong there.

"Who are the messages from?" Alice asked, looking in the mirror to apply make-up.

"They're all from Jake," Bella answered, rolling her eyes.

"Jake, huh?" Alice said, heavy with insinuation.

"No, Alice! Don't get any ideas! Jacob was simply your replacement while you were gone."

"Hmpf!" Alice turned away from Bella. "Well, if that's how you feel…"

"Alice! Of course, you're not replaceable! But you left me alone – I had find something to occupy my time," Bella promised.

"And how exactly did you and Jake occupy your time?" Alice raised her eyebrows.

Into the early afternoon, they caught up on their gossip. Bella filled Alice in on all the developments between her and Jake, clarifying several times that she did not have feeling for him. Alice walked Bella through the photo album of their family vacation in Italy. They quickly fell into their comfortable, easy and joking manner, avoiding talk of anything serious, specifically that fateful afternoon that Alice returned home.

But as Bella stared at the pictures of the newly modified Cullen Clan, she couldn't help but feel her mood shift serious. How much she wished she had the kind of family whose faces stared back at her! In the physical sense, she had the Cullen's as her family, she knew that from as much as they insisted, but she wanted the feeling that family would never let you down – that they'd never intentionally hurt you.

Her eyes flicked over Edward's face with that thought. Sure, he'd been hurt, but not intentionally. His parents hadn't left him on purpose; they hadn't knowingly ended their family. But still, she couldn't help but take in the sadness that reflected through every aspect of his face. His smile in Italy looked nothing like the one she'd seen the other night. The one and only time she'd seen it, it had been crooked and perfect in happiness. Here, it resembled a twitch of his full lips. His eyes were muted, as though his gaze was stopped short of the camera. He was instead staring at the space in front of the lens. They lacked the piercing qualities she'd noticed in the dark. She remembered thinking of sunsets as she'd peered into his green eyes just the other night. Although, they looked remarkably similar – the sadness was still there – they lacked the hope that had been so apparent. The hope he even saw in the stars above.

With a sigh, Bella pushed the album off her lap and lay back on the bed.

"Come on, let's go see what Mom's doing!" Alice tugged her through the door, sensing she needed to be distracted.

Downstairs, Esme was cooking.

"What are you making now?" Alice nearly shouted in disbelief.

Just then, the door opened and Edward stepped inside. He offered hellos, saying he was just home to drop a few things off and to rest for a bit before heading out around Forks. He wasn't even to the second floor of the house before Alice asked her question again.

This time, there was nothing to stop Esme from answering. "Right now I'm working on a lasagna and after that I'm making a meatloaf because it's Emmett's favorite."

"Why both of them?" Alice asked, feeling like she was missing something.

Esme stared at her for a second, willing for to have some tact. Then she looked to Bella while answering, "I'm making the lasagna for Charlie. I thought we could deliver it to him later."

Bella was stunned. So far she'd spent the day free of any direct comments about how she didn't belong here, but now Esme was throwing it in her face.

"I just thought it might be nice for you to get to see him, now that you're feeling better. And he's just been working so much, I wanted to do something nice for him," Esme said in a hurry, hoping to convince Bella.

Bella could hear what Esme wasn't actually saying. She could see her father now that she was acting like a normal human being again so she wouldn't make him feel guilty like she would have in her previous state. And wanting to do something nice for him wasn't because he was working so much, or maybe not directly, but because he felt sorry for him. Because of what happened – that was what was making him work so much.

"I don't think I want to do that," Bella said defiantly.

"Don't you want to see your father, Bella?" Esme asked, actually curious for the answer.

"No."

"Bella! You told me last night you'd think about talking to Charlie!" Alice shrieked.

"I don't need you telling me what to do, Alice!" Bella yelled back.

"But he's your dad, Bella! You have to see him!" Alice was pleading now.

"Alice," Esme was pleading with her daughter to calm down. "If Bella doesn't want to, then she doesn't have to. No one is going to force her to do something she would rather not. But, Bella, dear, would you mind telling me why you don't want to?"

It was started to get hard for Bella to control the emotions that were flooding through her.

"I'm going through a walk." She turned and walked right out the door, without as much as a look back.

As the door shut, Esme and Alice exchanged a look and only then did they notice Edward frozen mid-step on his way down the stairs. They stared at him expectantly.

"What's going on?" he asked, continuing on his way down. The truth was that he'd heard most of the conversation, but didn't want to make it seem as though he had been eavesdropping.

"Bella's refusing to talk to her father," Alice said angrily, plopping down on a couch.

"Alice!" Esme scolded her only daughter.

"What, Mom?" Alice bit back. "It's ridiculous and you know it!"

"It's true that I don't agree with it, but that doesn't give either of us permission to persuade Bella into anything she doesn't want to do."

"But why not? She's making a mistake doing it this way! She could quit moping around if she actually talked to him."

Edward took a seat next to Alice, trying to appear as if he weren't riveted with the conversation.

"Let Bella and Charlie work through this in their own ways," Esme warned.

"But they way of dealing with it is by pretending it doesn't exist," Alice quipped.

"That is true that neither of them is exactly comfortable expressing feelings, but still doesn't make it right for us to interfere."

"But, Mom, you know it's only going to get harder for Bella if she keeps putting off dealing with the problem. You remember how bad it was before anyone knew what was going on. Remember how she reacted when her mom worked all the time, which made Chief Swan work all the time? Remember how crazy she went? I don't want to see her go through that again."

"I know, sweetie," Esme comforted, pulling Alice into a hug. "But give Bella time. She'll come around. But she's got to get their on her own."

Once they'd calmed down, Esme turned her focus on Edward. "How was Port Angeles? Find anything you liked?"

"I did. There was this really cool café-bookstore, not far from the pier. That's where I spent most of the time. They had a ton of music and books – I really liked it!" It was the same place that Edward had gotten his gift for Bella, which he'd left in his car until he could find a time to give it to her.

"Oh, you and Bella, both!" Alice exclaimed.

"Bella and I both, what?"

"You both love that store! I practically have to drag Bella out of it every time we go there. Put the girl in a bookstore and she couldn't be happier!" Alice said, laughing at her best friend.

"I can see why – it's really cool place," Edward justified, but Alice just brushed it off. "Well, I'm going to go around town now. See if I can learn my way around."

"Shouldn't be too hard," Alice laughed again.

"Do you want to come?" Edward asked politely.

"No, thanks. I want to be here in case Bella comes home. I guess I owe her an apology," Alice admitted, ashamed.

Esme patted her shoulder in comfort. "Have fun, dear," she called out as Edward walked out the door.

* * *

**A/N: I know you all have been wanting some Edward-Bella interaction and I promise it IS coming. I thought it would be this chapter, but it just didn't happen. I didn't really want to make this chapter any longer, and I really would like to post it tonight. Good news is, though, it DEFINITELY will be next chapter (if anyone of you will even believe me at this point after it's been so long) and it was originally going to be part of this chapter, I know exactly where it's going. Which means, I should get it done tomorrow. So you've got that to look forward to if this chapter was bit disappointing in the Edward-Bella department. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed it regardless. Let me know what you thought!**


	13. Big Hearts Are Meant For Breaking

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: I told you it'd be up today, and here it is! But it will be a few days before the next one is up so stay with me. Thanks so for the great reviews, you guys are the best! As always, let me know what you think of the latest. Enjoy…**

**-perfectshadeofdarkblue**

* * *

**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**13 – Big Hearts Are For Breaking**

Edward braked slightly at the end of the hidden driveway before deciding to turn right. He drove slowly at first, unsure of where he was heading. He rounded a bend, marveling at the green that surrounded him. Having spent his entire life in Chicago, he'd never been as immersed in nature as he was here. Unlike most city-dwellers, he actually enjoyed the natural environment. After awhile, all the buildings in the city tended to blend together, however, the trees here were so full of life and promise. He couldn't find anything mundane about them.

As his speed increased, his eyes returned to the road and he slowed down immediately.

There was Bella walking along the edge of the forest. Her hands were shoved into her pockets and her face was turned to the woods, taking in the surrounding beauty much like Edward had just been doing. Temporarily, he'd forgotten that she was out somewhere on the streets of Forks. He'd gotten so wrapped up in Alice and Esme's conversation that he had forgotten the reason for it. Bella's outburst flooded his mind as he pulled up along side her, rolling down the passenger's side window so he could talk to her. At first, she didn't notice the car.

"Bella!" He called to get her attention.

Her head snapped to the left and she examined the car. Confusion flashed across her features at the sight of the shiny, silver Volvo that she had never seen before.

"Bella," Edward said again, only able to see the bottom half of her face because of the trajectory.

She leaned down, putting her whole face in his view. Her eyes narrowed in recognition and Edward could see the echoes of pain after the confusion vanished. She raised an eyebrow, expectantly.

"Are you alright?" he asked, suddenly nervous of what to say. Conversation had come so easy to them before, but that had been under entirely different circumstances. He no longer thought her to be overdramatic. Now he understood that pain that was in her eyes. He wanted so badly to help rid her of that pain and she had him, but he was afraid to make a mistake.

"I'm fine," Bella's voice came hard and cold. She was still leaning down, but her eyes were now tracing the landscape on the far side of the car. She was avoiding the concerned stare his green eyes were offering. This morning she'd noticed that his eyes were shining unlike before. Risking a closer look, she'd stared until she realized what was different: the pain that had once reflected in every one of his features had vanished. They still held traces of sorrow, but it was only sadness; he was no longer angry.

She was jealous that he could move on and she couldn't. She so desperately wanted to. Here he was, sitting in the car, driving around town, no longer mourning the death of his parents. It was exactly what Bella wanted to be doing, but didn't think she'd ever be able to.

Edward was taken aback by her harsh tone. He didn't know how to respond.

"Was there something else you needed?" she asked, in the same voice.

"Uh…I guess not," he mumbled.

Bella nodded her head once before straightening her body and walking away. She continued in the same direction as before, not making it but three feet from the car before Edward called out again.

"Bella! Do you want to come with me?" He couldn't bear the thought of her walking away, especially when she'd been so cold to him now, so different from the other night. He didn't blame her for being so short with him; after all, he'd been the same way in the beginning. He was sure with time, she'd lighten up. But he wanted that process to occur as quickly as possible, and he wanted to help that progress.

"I'd rather be alone," Bella replied without turning to the car.

She immediately veered off her path along the side of the road, walking through the line of trees marking the edge of the forest. She walked only as far as she had to in order to ensure she couldn't be seen from the road before finding a tree stump and sitting down. She could barely make out the purr of the engine over the sounds of nature, but she could still tell the car was where she'd left it. She heard when Edward finally pulled away and, even then, she waited a few more minutes before returning to the road.

She didn't want to chance him seeing her in the rearview mirror and turning around. To be honest, she really would have preferred company at the present moment, but she didn't think she could handle his. She couldn't help but think of the loss he'd suffered, which in turn was reminiscent of her own loss – the exact thing she was trying to avoid. Bella wished she could will her problems away.

As the afternoon faded to early evening, Bella wandered Forks, carefully avoiding any road that would lead her to either the police station or her house. It wasn't hard to navigate the small town on foot, although she did become concerned with the weather after awhile.

Bella had become lost her thoughts to find that her feet had subconsciously brought her to the high school. Not knowing where else to go, she walked across the property toward the football field. She climbed the bleachers, settling herself on the top row, staring out across the entire campus and returning to her thoughts. Bella remembered her conversation with Alice from only earlier that day. She'd felt as though things were starting to return to normal. Granted, both had been ignoring the giant elephant in the room, but that's the way Bella preferred it. It was much easier when she was the only one thinking about the mess she was in; she didn't want it occupying everyone else's thoughts as well.

Life had been so simple barely a week ago. Back then Bella would spend time with her mother around the house and then go to La Push to spend time with Jacob, who made everything feel bright and cheery. Bella found herself craving his company now because he had the ability to make everything else disappear. She never had to fake happiness around him; he brought it out of her all on his own.

She didn't want to be having those thoughts. She didn't want to be craving Jacob's company. Shaking her head, she pulled herself out of her reverie. She'd felt as though time was passing slowly, but it was much too dark for her to have only been sitting for the short amount of time she'd thought. The sky was darkening quickly, but not only due to the approaching night. Black clouds were making their way over Forks, which was typical of not only this time of year, but all year.

Bella weaved through the campus and back to the main road, ready to start her journey back. She owed Alice and Esme an apology. She'd been completely out of line to yell earlier, and she hadn't meant to. The mention of her father had just caught her so off guard, it was an involuntary reaction.

While Bella had been contemplating her current situation at the high school, Edward had driven, mindlessly, around Forks. He spotted his new high school and the hospital, even picking Carlisle's black Mercedes out of the parking lot, without trouble. But the entire time he familiarized himself with his new home, his thoughts were centered on Bella. He knew it had only been a few days since catastrophe had struck, but he didn't like seeing the pain on her face, when it obviously did not belong there. After their initial conversation, he'd found himself immediately taken by her – by everything about her. Her way of understanding what he was thinking, when he didn't say a word, her way of saying just the right thing to help him understand, her way of masking her own sadness to help him with his. Just from one conversation, Edward felt ready to let another person in. Something he thought would never be possible again in the wake of his parents.

But she didn't want to be let in. In fact, it seemed as though she wanted to be shut out. And she wanted to shut him out. Edward racked his mind, trying to come up with a solution to his problem. He didn't have a single answer. He resolved to just play it by ear, but, by no means, did that mean he was taking it easy. He was going to try his hardest to help her; he wouldn't take no for an answer.

Edward had completely lost track of time and wasn't even paying attention to where he was driving anymore. As his gas light came on, he decided it was time to head home. Hopefully, Bella would be there and he'd get a chance to actually talk to her. After stopping by at the town's only gas station on the opposite side, he was on his way.

Almost immediately after pulling out onto the street, it started raining. And not just raining, but storming. Thunder echoed as lightning danced across the sky. Edward slowed, unable to see very far in front of him, even with the wipers on the highest setting.

A few minutes later, he saw Bella again walking on the side of the road. The hood of her sweatshirt was over her head, but the usual light gray was stained black from the water. She was huddled close to the trees, hoping to seek as much refuge as possible from the canopies they formed. Edward could only imagine how cold and wet she must be from the rain that had been steadily falling for almost ten minutes.

He pulled his car over the side of the road, planning to pull up beside her and give her a ride. His plan backfired as the right front tire hit a pothole filled with water. He jerked the wheel, hoping to correct his mistake, but there was nothing he could do. The wheel jumped out the hole and the car started to skid off the road. He managed to right the path but not before that wheel ran over a fallen tree branch. He heard the sound of tearing rubber over all the other noises.

He slowed to a stop and put his head down on the steering wheel, not knowing what to do next.

At the sound of the commotion, Bella turned around. She saw Edward's car fly out of the pothole and over the branch. She winced at the sound of the flattening tire. In a split second, she made the decision to help him. She jogged toward his car, sending water flying from each puddle she ran through.

When Edward saw her approaching, he slowly got out of the car. She was only ten feet away when he shut the car door and turned to face her, just in time to see her falter. As her pace slowed, Bella slipped on the slick street. Her foot flew out from underneath her as Edward lunged forward to catch her. His hands gripped her arms, but he wasn't fast enough and they both ended up falling to the road, sending a new wave of water flying over them.

Getting to his feet, Edward asked, "Are you okay?"

He held out his hand to help her up. Her hand was cold to the touch from all the rain. She winced, putting weight on her foot and falling into him. This time, he managed to keep his own balance.

"I think I twisted my ankle," Bella said, gently adding more and more weight to the foot in question. When it got to be too much she said with a grimace, "Oh yea, definitely twisted it."

"Here, here, sit down." Edward wrapped her arm over his shoulders as he carried the majority of her weight around to the opposite side of the car. Effortlessly, he opened the passenger door with his free hand and helped her slide inside. Then he made his way back around to his door and got in away from the rain.

Inside the car, the sound of the rain grew louder, echoing off the road and windshield. Edward turned the key in the ignition, flipping the heat on but keeping the wipers off since they weren't needed. With all the water pounding on the glass, it was impossible to see anything.

"I didn't get the chance to look at the tire, but I'd venture it's not drivable in these conditions." There was no way he'd risk further injury to his beloved car. He shrugged, "I guess we're going to be stuck here until the rain calms."

"And who knows how long that'll be. Great," Bella mumbled, rolling her eyes.

After a few moments of silence, Edward tried to start up a conversation. "So what were you doing today?"

"Just wandering," she answered, shortly.

"Where to?"

"Does it matter?" she said in a harsh tone – harsher than she'd ever used before.

"I'm just curious," he replied truthfully.

"Well, don't be." Bella glared at him, hoping he'd listen to the not-so-subtle hint.

Edward couldn't take the hostility anymore. "Did I do something to offend you?"

Bella now stared at him in disbelief, "Are you really asking that?"

He didn't know whether she was outraged at the questioned or his stupidity. He tried to explain, "Well, you just seem to be specifically in a worse mood around me. I just wanted to make sure I hadn't said or done anything that offended you when we talked the other night."

Bella could read the sincerity in his eyes, but she did not want to give in. Instead, she merely just turned to stare out the window, watching the rain fall.

Edward continued. "If I did, I'm very sorry. It was not my intention, whatsoever, and I hope that you can understand that."

She couldn't believe his nerve.

"Are you serious?" she asked, turning back around. "How can you expect to offer such a blanket apology when you have no idea what you did?!"

"In my opinion, I didn't do anything, but since it's clear you think otherwise, what other choice do I have? I did not purposefully offend you and I hope you can believe I'm telling the truth. If you'd like to explain what I did that was so horrible to cause you to treat me like this, I'd really appreciate it." Edward could feel his own temper start to rise.

Bella rolled her eyes in her only response.

"If you won't tell me, the only thing I can do is offer a blanket apology. Bella," he calmed down, breathing her name. "I'm sorry, for whatever I did. I truly did not want to upset you. Can you forgive me?"

She remained silent.

Suddenly, Edward remembered what was in the trunk of his car. He opened his door, immersing himself in the rain once again. He ran to the trunk, quickly pulling out a plastic bag, twisting it up to protect whatever was inside from the water. Bella watched all of this through the mirror, not wanting to give him the satisfaction that she was indeed curious.

He climbed back into the car, bringing with him a huge gust of wind. Without thinking, Bella's hand shot to the air conditioning controls to adjust the temperature. Before making contact with the plastic knob, her hand collided with Edward's. However, he was reaching for her hand, not the heat. Without letting go, he set the heat higher then cradled her hand in his.

"Bella," he started softly. "I don't know how else to tell you I'm sorry. And not just for upsetting you, but for everything you're going through. I understand how difficult it can be, I would like you to know that you can talk to me, if you so choose."

He was quiet for a moment while reading her expression.

"After talking to you the other night, I felt better than I had in the longest time. And I owe that to you. You were the one who brought me back. When I returned from Italy with the Cullen's, I was unsure of how to move on, unsure of how to function in a society that had wronged me. You helped me see how it was possible to come back from tragedy. Thank you, Bella. Thank you," he finished, hoping she would have something to say now.

Bella was at a loss for words. She couldn't even remember what she'd said to him the other night. She'd been too lost in her own grieving to grasp the concept of helping someone else, but apparently that's what he thought she was doing. All she could remember was how nice it had been to have a conversation that didn't focus solely on the hurting.

Edward saw the struggle behind Bella's eyes. Her gaze dropped to her legs as she tried to gather her thoughts. Edward released her hand and decided it was as good a time as any to give her the gift.

"Bella." Immediately, she raised her eyes to meet his. Once they'd established the contact, he continued, "While I was in Port Angeles earlier today, I got a gift for you. Just something to show my appreciation."

Bella's eyes grew wide in surprise as his hand emerged from the bag. He was holding a small book, but because of the large bow on the cover, Bella couldn't make out the title. He handed it to her and Bella removed the bow.

Without even reading the title, she said, "Edward, I can't take this."

"Why not?" He hadn't even thought about her refusing the gift. Why was she refusing the gift?

"Edward….the other night. I can't even remember what I said. At the risk of sounding selfish, anything I said, it wasn't meant for you. I was much too involved in my own thoughts to be offering any advice. I can't accept this," she said, hurriedly, hoping against all hope, he wouldn't hate her for the admission.

Edward let out a quiet laugh. "Oh, Bella. That doesn't matter. I don't care whether or not you were talking to me or the stars that night. It just doesn't change the effect your words had on me. Nothing can change that. Please."

Bella smiled despite herself, looking down at the book. In her hands, she held _The Little Prince_ by Antoine de Saint Exupery. At the sight of the children's tale, their previous conversation came flooding back. She remembered sharing their opinions of the stars and it was clear that Edward had paid attention. The French book, translated to English in her hands, offers profound and idealistic viewpoints of human nature and life. If Bella remembered correctly, there were several references to the stars and how different people interpret them.

She looked back up to Edward. "Thank you, Edward. I mean that, thank you."

Bella was overcome by his generosity. After that same conversation, she'd been so sure he was being selfish, rubbing in his good fortune over her bad one. In reality, he'd just finally come to terms to how he was seeing the stars. He'd made sense of the hope he was sought after. Bella sighed; she was still unable to make sense of her stars.

"I'm here for you, Bella. Really. I want to repay the kindness, intentional or not, that you showed me. If there is every anything that I can do, I hope you do no hesitate to ask."

He spoke with such candor that Bella couldn't help but believe the words that were leaving his mouth.

And there, in the injured car, amongst the pouring rain surrounded by the wet greenness, just a few miles from their temporary home, Bella decided to let Edward in.

* * *


	14. Breaking Up With Your Breakdown

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**.**

**A/N: Really, each and every time you all outdo yourselves! Thank you so much for all the great feedback you all continue to give – I appreciate it more than you know. After last chapter, this story was added to a lot of alert lists so I just wanted to say welcome to all of the newcomers! Thanks for taking the time to enjoy the story and for caring enough to see where it goes from here. I haven't heard from many of these newcomers in reviews and I would love to hear what your opinions are, as well. For the most part, it seems as though everyone was pretty pleased to see the story finally taking off on a happier note. And thanks for being patient while I was away from updating. Classes and work are really starting to pick up for me as the semester gets underway, so if I'm quiet for a few days that's why. Enjoy…**

**-perfectshadeofdarkblue**

* * *

**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**14 – Breaking Up With Your Breakdown**

Edward watched as Bella's eyes glazed over, unfocused, still looking straight ahead but not seeing what was in front of her. He saw the tears form and felt the need to pull her out of the cycle of memories that was flooding her mind. He fumbled for a moment, trying to decide the best course of action. Edward didn't want Bella to cry, but he didn't think she'd appreciate a complete 180, turning the conversation down a meaningless avenue.

"Bella, can I ask you a question?" Maybe if she didn't feel the pressure of the question she'd be more inclined to answer. "You don't have to answer, if you don't want.

Bella refocused her eyes but was still unable to form words, so she merely nodded.

"Is there a reason you haven't talked to your father yet?" Edward worried he was being too personal; he didn't want Bella to feel uncomfortable.

Confused, Bella just looked at Edward. She assumed he knew the basic points of what was going on – after all they had been occupying the same house for a few days now. But most of that time, Bella had spent in her zombie state; had everyone else filled him in?

"Bella, why haven't you talked to your father?" Edward wanted to shake her awake. Her father was still around for her to talk to about this! And so was her mother! No matter what was going on in her life right now, she still had two parents who she could turn to.

It wasn't a conscious decision, Bella was sure of that. She had found her lips parting and spilling secrets she swore she'd never share. And all because the comfort she saw in Edward's eyes promised it would be alright.

"I don't know why, really. But I seem to just be stuck. I can't move past this. Call me a masochist, I guess," Bella shrugged. She wasn't really answering

"What do you mean?" Edward silently added that Bella didn't need to tell him if she didn't feel comfortable. He had moved past the need to say it out loud, but he still wanted her to know it was true.

"I mean, look at you – you're not hiding in bed all day, you're not yelling at people for no reason. You're moving on, you're functioning like a normal person. That's lost on me right now. I can't move forward, I'm stuck here replaying what I saw over and over in my head. I keep thinking back to how things were before this, with my family – wondering if there was some clue, if I missed something, if I could have somehow prevented this. I'm wondering if I'm the only one…" Her voice trailed off as she became lost in her thoughts.

"Bella," Edward said firmly, calling her back to the present. "Listen to me. You cannot compare our situations. And besides you didn't see me before – I was ten times worse than you."

"But, Edward, the point is your parents died – they died." He winced at the words and she apologized hastily, but she continued. "But here you are, trying to help me. I can't believe I envied you. I can't believe I still do."

"You envy me?"

Bella nodded her head, embarrassed of her admission.

"You're envious of my parents' deaths?" He asked incredulously.

"Well, when you put it like that," she rolled her eyes, trying to make light of the situation. "I don't wish death on my parents, or anything like that, but I am envious of the fact that you're not blaming your parents breaking apart your family. But I have no one else to blame except mine. That's what hurts so much about all of this – the fact that they let our family, my family, down."

Something didn't make sense to Edward. Did he have all the facts? Was there something he was missing? He hesitated, not wanting to make a mistake now that he'd started to make some progress with Bella. "Earlier you said you were wondering if you were the only one. But you trailed off. The only one what?"

"The only one who cared."

"Who cared about what?"

"My family."

Edward waited silently for her to divulge further.

"Things haven't been right with my family for a long time. My parents both threw themselves into their jobs instead of trying to fix it, which usually left me to pick up the pieces. I never minded, at least not at first. I always just assumed they were really busy and that things would get better. That it was just a rough patch we would work through. Except I was the only one working through it, trying to fix it. They both just pretended it didn't exist, like everything was fine. They carried out their daily lives, as if nothing was wrong. But something was wrong, and I know they noticed it. I was just the only one who cared."

Silent tears rolled down Bella's cheeks and she turned her head to look out the windshield, although she still couldn't see anything. Edward's hand cupped her cheek and he brushed away tears with his thumb.

Edward got back to his original questions, "Why haven't you talked to your dad?"

Unable to speak, she shook her head.

"Bella," he urged.

She closed her eyes and shook her head more adamantly this time. She pulled his hand off her cheek, placing it in his lap gently.

Edward took in the movements, his hurt reflecting in his eyes. When Bella opened her eyes again, she could see the pain she'd caused him. It hadn't been her intention; she wasn't denying him, she just couldn't bear to tell the truth.

"I can't say it."

"Why not?"

"I keep thinking that if I stay quiet, if I don't admit it out loud that there's a chance it won't be true. But if I so much as whisper the words, then they're alive and there's no way to deny them." She was talking more to herself than Edward at this point.

"Bella, what are you talking about?"

His voice brought her back and reality came crashing around her. Her voice rose as she spoke, "My dad doesn't care about me, Edward! How do you think that feels? Do you think I want to go around admitting that?"

Shocked, Edward could only stare of her, mouth agape. He recovered, "How could you say that?"

"Because it's true."

"Bella…" Edward was at a loss for words. He had no idea how to convince her of the actual truth. How could she be so mad at her father throughout this ordeal? Did she even have any anger left for her mother? In Edward's eyes, she was the one who deserved the blame.

Again, Edward cupped her face, this time with both of his hands, brushing away her tears. He tucked his head down so their eyes were in line.

"Listen to me, Bella. That is not true. You cannot believe that even for one tiny second."

"But…"

"No, buts. Your father calls every single day, usually two or three times a day. I hear Esme and Carlisle on the phone with him all the time, always comforting him about you. He's worried about you, Bella. But he doesn't want to rush you; he doesn't want to make you feel worse about it. He wants you to be able to forget about the entire thing if that's what will make you feel better. You father, along with Carlisle and Esme, don't want to make you feel bad so they won't say anything about it. But I think you should know. Because you shouldn't be going around thinking your father doesn't love you. He loves you more than anything, Bella. That's the only reason he can stand to be away from you right now; he wants to give you space if that's what you need. Even though, what he needs more than anything right now is his daughter." His voice was stern as he spoke, almost as though he were scolding a child.

Before letting go, he pressed lightly, reaffirming his words – pushing her to understand.

"Please say you'll talk to him?" he asked.

Bella nodded her head then turned to look out the window. The rain was still coming down strong,

"Do you have your cell phone?" she asked, without turning to him.

"It's at the house. It died this morning and I left it there to charge. I never expected anything to happen in this small town that I would need it."

Bella laughed at his words. She added, "Don't go underestimating Forks."

For a few minutes they were silent, watching and listening to the rain falling around them.

"Have you thought anymore about the stars?" Edward was the one to break the quiet.

Bella smiled as she realized their thoughts had been parallel.

"Yes," she answered simply.

"Can you explain impossibility anymore?"

At his words, she turned to look at him. "You remembered?"

"Of course, I remembered. There was no way I could forget, even if I wanted to. I told you, that conversation means more to me than you'll ever realize."

She smiled, faintly, wishing she could recall it better. They were quiet again, simply looking at each other. For the first time since she'd spent time with him, Bella really took in Edward's appearance.

His hair was still wet from the rain causing the dark locks to fall across his forehead in a messy fashion. Underneath his pale skin, his cheek bones and jaw line were dominant. Through his parted lips, Bella could make out the faint outline of brilliant white teeth. She looked again at his eyes – the green orbs that had made her feel so comfortable. For the first time, Bella noticed how good-looking Edward was. Her mind compared him to Jacob. They were both tall and had approximately the same muscular build, but Edward was more classically handsome whereas Jacob was considered hot by all of her school friends.

Bella shook the thoughts of Jacob from her mind, as well as the ones involving Edward's good looks.

But at the same time Bella was appraising Edward's appearance, he was also appraising hers. He was noticing the way her dark hair fell across her shoulders, how she made no attempt to brush the stray strands from her face. He took in her brown, puppy dog eyes again, getting lost in them as he was felt was typical now since it happened so often. The faint trace of a smile echoed on her lips and Edward could see its beauty, and her beauty, radiating through the sadness.

"Still impossible?" He asked more specifically, forcing her to answer.

"Maybe not impossible, but I'm still siding with disbelief." Bella laughed, allowing the sound to escape fully for the first time since she'd spent the morning in Jacob's garage. "Man, I never thought I'd meet someone who was just as obsessed with stars as I was."

"Obsessed? Really?"

"Like you wouldn't believe. It really just amazes me how differently people can view them. But then despite the differences, it always comes down to the same thing," Bella explained.

"Let me guess…" Then Edward ventured, "Perfection?"

"Exactly!"

"People see the in stars what they want to see – their idea of perfection at that moment," Edward guessed again, looking to Bella for reassurance.

"Don't take my word for it. You may see it differently. But tell me, can you think of a better definition than perfection that defines where some people describe their heaven and where others make wishes?"

Edward thought a moment. "No, I guess I can't."

Bella smiled smugly.

"Let me venture another guess, if you will."

Bella extended her hand, motioning for him to proceed.

"You're saying the stars represent impossibility. You don't believe in their perfection?"

Now it was Bella's turn to think. She answered carefully, "It's not that I don't believe in the stars' perfection. It's more that I can't buy into that ideal of perfection anymore. How am I supposed to keep believing in the same things I always believed in when my world gets turned upside down? I guess that's why I haven't really made sense of what the stars are telling me yet."

Sensing the conversation was moving back to the serious side, Edward only nodded his head, not trusting his words to betray the situation.

Bella stepped in before she cried involuntarily again. "So have you always been obsessed with the stars, Edward?"

Her effort to deflect was obvious, but still Edward gave in. He nodded, "Although, I never realized I was."

"It's not the sort of thing that sneaks up on a person," Bella said, making a dig at him.

"You're right – it's not. I was always obsessed with the night sky, but never realized it was the stars that held my interest before moving out here. You see, they're hardly visible back in the Chicago, with all the bright city lights. But one of my favorite things to do at night involved sitting on the roof of our apartment building, staring into the night."

"So you're seeing all sorts of new stars you never saw before. And all the hope they hold," Bella surprised him by remembering at least a small part of their previous conversation.

"There was as meteor shower once when I was younger. It was the first time I went to the roof of the building. My dad took me up there, with a telescope and everything. Carlisle actually came, too. He tried to convince Emmett and Alice, but neither was too interested in it at the time, I suppose since it ended up only being just the three of us."

Bella noticed Edward's first specific mention of his parents, or his dad at least. She blushed faintly, feeling selfish for dominating the conversation, focusing on her problems when he was dealing with his own. She wanted to let him know that she was willing to return the favor of listening, but she didn't want to make the conversation stilted and awkward, especially after they had just moved off of the heavy topics.

She decided to open the door for further comment, if he wanted to say more. Honestly curious, she asked, "Did you always go to the roof with your dad?"

Edward paused a moment before answering quietly, "No, I usually went by myself."

The shift in the atmosphere between them was apparent and Edward wouldn't look Bella in the eye. She was afraid she'd said something wrong, but didn't want to draw attention to her mistake any further.

Their attentions returned to the windshield in front of them.

"The rain's slowing down now. I think I'll change the tire before it starts raining harder again." Without another word, Edward got out of the car and started removing the spare tire from the trunk of the Volvo.

Bella got out of the car, being sure to keep her gift from Edward clear of the water. She asked, "Anything I can do to help?"

Edward looked up at her and noticed her trembling stature now that she was out of the heat of the car.

"Here, take off your wet sweatshirt and put this on." Edward unzipped the maroon hoodie he was wearing and handed it over to Bella.

After pulling the soaked sweatshirt over her head and tossing it back in the car, Bella slid her arms through Edward's jacket. Shivering slightly as the rainy air hit her bare skin, clad in only a t-shirt she zipped it up, nearly all the way, and then pushed the sleeves up so her hands could poke out of the ends.

"Thanks," she stammered while taking in Edward's new appearance. Without the hoodie, he was wearing only a white t-shirt. The v-neck exposed the smooth skin of his neck stretching over in collar bone and fading into the smooth, pale skin of his chest. Bella could see the outline of his muscles better now that they weren't covered in the bulky fabric.

For the second time, Bella chastised herself for her wandering thoughts about Edward's looks.

It took Edward almost no effort at all to replace the flat tire and they were soon making their way back to the Cullen's house. The ride back was silent as Edward wound his way along the tree-lined roads and Bella raked her mind, mercilessly, trying to come up with the perfect thing to say to ease the newfound tension.


	15. Have No Fear for Giving In

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: 100 REVIEWS? You guys are spectacular! (I'm trying to use new adjectives to show what you mean to me.) But, really, thank you all SO MUCH for reading this story and sticking with it for 14 chapters. I know there have been some slow parts and we've only just now gotten to the start of Edward and Bella's relationship, but I really appreciate you all giving it a chance. In my plans (but they seriously are subject to change), the story will pick up a bit. **

**On another note, I heard from some newcomers with this last chapter, but nearly as many as I'd hoped. There are so many more alerts sent out than people reviewing. I want to know why you all like this story so much that you want to be alerted the second I update. So for this chapter, I want you all to tell me your favorite part. I'd love to hear from every single person, but I realize that's a highly unlikely goal, so I'll really hope for just 5 new reviewers. That's a tiny, tiny fraction of the amount who are supposedly reading the story. So who wants to help a girl reach her dreams? **

**Enjoy…**

**-perfectshadeofdarkblue**

* * *

**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**15 – Have No Fear for Giving In**

After a long, warm shower to ease the chill of the rain out of her bones, Bella returned downstairs where the rest of her surrogate was waiting. Carlisle, who'd returned from work during Bella's shower, was seated on a couch in the living room, surrounded by Alice, Emmett and Edward. Making her way down the stairs, while pulling her still damp hair into a pony tail, Bella heard random shouts from them.

"Van Gough!" Emmett's voice boomed.

"Picasso!" Alice's voice was tinkered several octaves higher.

Bella heard a laughter she was unfamiliar with. Was there someone else with them? The musical notes of verbal happiness made her yearn to be in on the joke – to know what had caused such beauty to escape a person's lips.

"Rembrandt." Carlisle's voice was smooth and sure, projected at a much lower volume than the others.

Rounding the corner, Bella made it into the room just in time to see the blue screen on the television disappear only to be replaced by Alex Trebek's face.

She laughed to herself, watching the anticipation take over the room.

All eyes were glued to the screen as the contestant answered, "Who is Rembrandt?"

"Correct," Trebek judged. "And now we'll take a break. When we return, Charlotte will have control of the board."

Alice and Emmett groaned as Carlisle smiled smugly at them. The same musical laughter reached Bella's ears again and she turned her head to see from whom it was coming. Surprised, she smiled to herself when she saw Edward's head tilted back with laughter his priority.

"You're killing me, Dad," Emmett complained, throwing a pillow across the room. His father caught it adeptly in his hands before it struck its target, his face.

"Maybe this will inspire you to take an art history class come fall," Carlisle suggested.

This only elicited another groan from Emmett.

Musical laughter swarmed again, but this time it was accompanied by the chime of Alice's.

Shaking her head, Bella walked into the kitchen where Esme was finishing the final preparations for dinner.

"Can I help with anything?" Bella offered, admiring Esme's busy hands moving across the granite countertops.

"Bella, honey!" Esme exclaimed, turning around. "How was your shower? Are you feeling better now?"

"I'm feeling fine," Bella brushed off the older woman's concern.

"Well, I'm glad to hear it. But if you start feeling the least bit unwell, you let Carlisle know so he can make sure it's nothing serious. Heaven forbid something like this from happening again, but, just in case, please remember to bring your cell phone with you from now on."

"Don't worry, Esme, I'm fine. There's nothing to be concerned about." Bella knew those words would have no affect on Esme's demeanor, so she brought up the more pressing matter, to her at least. "Esme…"

"Yes, Bella?"

"I want to apologize for before," Bella started looking down.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," Esme unconditionally forgave, grabbing Bella's hands.

Looking up, Bella said, "Yes, I do. I know you and Alice are only trying to help me. You have been nothing but kind to me and have helped me tremendously lately, and I was extremely disrespectful before. I'm so sorry I lost my temper."

The words came out in a rush. Silence hung in the air and blush crept over Bella's cheeks. She looked up at Esme, waiting for a response only to see that her eyes were glistening. Quickly, Esme pulled the shocked Bella into a hug.

"Only you, Bella, would be concerned about offending another person in a time like this. Your selflessness makes me happy I consider you a true part of my family." Pulling away from the hug now, she said with finality, "Consider it forgiven and forgotten, dear."

"Thank you," Bella whispered as the red stain remained on her cheeks.

"Now, have you thought any more about what I said?" Esme spoke gently. "About talking to Charlie?"

"Actually, I thought maybe I'd stop by my house tomorrow to talk to him. I thought we could have dinner together."

"That sounds like an excellent idea, Bella." Esme motioned for Bella to follow her over to the refrigerator. Opening the door, she continued, "In fact, I know just what you should eat."

On a shelf inside the refrigerator, Bella could see the lasagna that Esme had been making earlier in the day for Charlie. In disbelief, she looked up at Esme who responded with a wink and sly smile.

"Even though, I'm going to see Charlie tomorrow, I'd still like to stay here. I don't think I'm ready to be alone in my house yet – if that's alright with you," Bella added to the conversation, seriously.

"Of course that's alright with me. You are welcome to stay here as long as you would like. However, I think it would be best to talk to your father about that. We both know he'll agree to letting you stay here, but he might appreciate hearing you ask permission for it." Bella nodded, acquiescing and grabbed the dish Esme was handing her. Esme called out, "Alright, everyone! Dinner time!"

Commotion broke out in the living room as Emmett, Edward and Alice hurriedly followed Carlisle to the table. Without drawing too much attention to himself, Emmett dragged the extra chair away from the table. After arriving home from the beach, he had explained to Esme that he had brought Rosalie home so that they could enjoy a private family dinner. He promised to have Rosalie come over another night that week to make up for it. In order to keep up his tough guy appearance, he'd already taken care of the extra place his mother had set, but he'd forgotten the chair.

Emmett flashed Esme a big, appreciative smile when he realized she'd cooked his favorite meal for dinner. He really was going to miss his family when he left for college at the end of the summer. Looking around the table to memorize every minute detail of the loved ones that surrounded him, Emmett almost wished that he was sharing this night with Rosalie – he considered her family after all. But selfishness won out as he realized it meant he wouldn't have the share the attention around the table with Rosalie, who never was very good at sharing attention.

Once everyone's plates were piled high with food, Carlisle spoke. "How's your ankle, Bella? Edward said you took quite a tumble in the rain earlier."

Bella grimaced at the attention that now flooded her. She turned to glare at Edward before answering. "It's fine, really. It wasn't nearly as bad as Edward makes it sound. I've certainly fallen much worse before."

At the sight of Bella's scowl, Edward tried to suppress the laughter, but didn't succeed as the sound escaped his lips.

The only person to actually notice was Bella because the rest of the table was erupting in laughter.

Surprisingly, Emmett was the first person to regain a regular breathing pattern. "Oh, Bella! Remember that time you tripped going down the stairs in the movie theater and ended up rolling all the way down the aisle?"

Another round of laughter ensued as Bella hid her crimson face behind her hands.

Dinner continued in much the same fashion with embarrassing stories being shared around the table. Eventually the meal came to a quiet close as everyone's stomachs were full and sore from laughing. Soon the table was clear and the dishes were washed and Carlisle and Esme left the kids to themselves while they greeted friends returning from vacation.

As soon as the door clicked shut, Alice made a mad dash from the room, followed close behind by Emmett. Edward and Bella were left in their dust confused. It wasn't until they heard the yells that they were able to move.

"Come on, Alice. It's my turn this time!" Emmett bellowed.

"No way!" Alice chimed back.

On the couch, Alice was curled into a ball while Emmett was reaching over the back of the couch trying to pull her arms out from underneath her.

"Alice!"

"No way, Emmett!" she repeated. "You know the rules! First to the remote gets to pick the movie!"

She turned her head and lightly bit the exposed skin at Emmett's wrist. He pulled his arms away quickly and Alice took the opportunity to escape. She darted around the other side of the coffee table, putting as much furniture between her brother and her.

"But you're going to pick some lame chick flick!" Emmett tried to argue.

"So? You'd pick some dumb action movie if you had your way!"

While Alice recounted all the bad movie choices Emmett had picked over the last few months, he stealthily made his way around the couch and sneaked up on Alice. At the last second, she caught on to his plan and started running away, shrieking. Emmett tackled her onto the couch and tried flipping her over to steal the remote away. Despite his massive strength, Alice actually managed to hold her own in the wrestling match.

"I think this is going to be a better show that the movie," Edward said, turning to Bella. He motioned to the love seat. "Shall we take our front row seats?"

Bella smiled in response, with a small laugh, and sat down, curling her legs underneath her. Edward took the seat next to each other, but after a few minutes of observing the match, the two became bored.

"Come on, Emmett. She's a fifth of your size – steal the remote already!" Edward urged on.

"You think I'm not trying to do that?!" Emmett shouted back, breathlessly.

Alice, hardly winded, just laughed. "Here, Bella! Catch!"

Bella was caught off guard as the remote went sailing through the air towards her. Edward watched as the "deer in headlights" expression registered on her face. She made no move to catch the remote aimed at her forehead, so swiftly, he pulled it out of the air with inches to spare. He handed it over to Bella, who mumbled her thanks.

"Seriously, Edward? You really just handed over the remote? We could have picked the movie!" Emmett was frustrated beyond belief.

"Come on, Emmett. You didn't really think it'd be fair for Bella to get injured twice in one day, did you?" Edward defended.

"Wouldn't be the first time," Emmett mumbled, signaling defeat.

"I heard that! You should be nice to me because I usually don't pick chick flicks, but if you want to keep up that attitude I'm sure I could find _How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days_ around here," Bella started to move toward the DVD collection.

"No!" Edward and Emmett shouted together.

Edward jumped to his feet. "Let me help pick out a movie."

Together they compiled a series of choices to present to Alice and Emmett.

"Okay, your options are…" Bella started, holding a stack of movies behind her back.

Edward grabbed the first off the top of the stack. "_The Notebook_."

Alice clapped her hands and Emmett made a gagging noise.

"Next, we have…"

"…_Fight Club_."

This time the reaction was reversed. And so it continued until finally, everyone settled on one movie – _National Treasure_.

While Edward readied the DVD, Bella took her usual place on the love seat. She leaned against one of the arm rests and stretched her legs across the other while pulling a blanket over her. Alice and Emmett also fell into their places on the couch.

Once the DVD was ready, Edward turned down the lights and went to sit on the floor, leaning against the love seat.

"Edward, why are you sitting on the floor?" Bella asked, curiously.

"Where else would you like me to sit?" he asked, turning around.

It took a second for Bella to realize what he was saying. "Oh, sorry! I'm forgot we had an extra person. Here."

Bella slid over so she was only taking up half of the loveseat, letting Edward have the other.

"Thanks,"

"You're welcome," Bella said, shifting as she tried to get comfortable.

Throughout the first few minutes of the movie, Bella continued to fidget, trying to ease herself into the couch as comfortably as possible.

"Are you alright?" Edward asked quietly, concerned as to why she couldn't sit still.

"Yea – I'm just trying to get comfortable. Sorry," she mumbled back.

"Do you want to spread your legs out? You can put them over me if you want. I don't mind. Or I can go back to the floor," Edward offered.

"No, no. I'm fine," Bella insisted.

"Okay. Well, if you change your mind, my offer stands."

Bella smiled in response and finally settled back to enjoy the movie.

When the movie was finally over, Emmett carried a sleeping Alice upstairs to her room. He laid her on her bed before gently shaking her awake and telling her to change out of her jeans and go to sleep. They whispered their goodnights before he returned downstairs to take Bella to bed and wake Edward.

Half way down the stairs, he was met by Edward, who was carrying Bella in his arms.

"Want me to get her?" Emmett offered.

"No, I'm alright. Besides, she hardly weighs anything." Edward turned sideways to pass Edward on the stairs.

"Well, somebody's been working out!" Emmett teased, punching Edward lightly in the shoulder. "Take her the guest room; I already put Alice in her room."

Edward nodded his head and wished Emmett a pleasant before ducking into the guest bedroom to put Bella to bed.

She stirred quietly as he arms loosened around her. Tossing and shaking her head, she mumbled, "No…no. No."

"Bella?" Edward nudged her shoulder, but she remained asleep.

As he backed out of the room, Bella awoke frantically calling his name. "Edward!"

Rushing back to her side, Edward sat next to her. "Bella, what's wrong?"

Bella took a deep breath and sat up. "Nothing. I was having a nightmare again. I'm fine."

"Again?"

Sheepishly, she admitted, "Yea. They're pretty common now."

"Do you want me to stay with you for awhile?" He offered, not wanting to leave her alone with her nightmares.

"You don't need to. I'm pretty tired anyway – too much excitement today," she said with a laugh. "I'm just going to go to bed now. Night, Edward."

Edward was hesitant to leave at her words. She may have been right saying he didn't need to stay, but that didn't mean he didn't want to. He wanted to make sure she was okay, and if she wasn't, he wanted to help. He debated staying, anyway, but noticed how tired she really was when she yawned. He settled on a compromise, "Feel free to come upstairs if you have another nightmare. Chances are I'll be awake, too – they're pretty common for me, too, lately."

Crawling under the covers, it again took Bella several minutes to try to find comfort. She tossed and turned before giving up on sleep, deciding she should take Edward up on his offer. She just hoped he wouldn't be asleep yet.

* * *

**A/N: I had meant to post this over the weekend, but time got away from me in my excitement for football season. YAY! Anyone want to share their favorite teams?**


	16. You Can Change Your Mind, You Can't

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: It seems like everyone was pretty happy with the last chapter and hopefully this lives up to your expectations. As always, let me know what you think. Enjoy…**

**-perfectshadeofdarkblue**

* * *

**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**16 – You Can Change Your Mind, You Can't Change Your Heart**

Although Bella had kicked the covers off her bare legs, she made no further move. Internally she debated whether or not to go up to Edward's room. As much as she wanted to accept his offer, she couldn't believe he would really offer such a favor. How could he be okay with her coming up to his room when she couldn't sleep? At the same time, Bella could tell Edward was the kind of person who wouldn't make such an offer if he didn't mean it.

After five minutes she finally made progress by taking the next step. She stood and shivered as the cool air hit her bare shoulders. She grabbed a jacket, zipping it up as she tiptoed down the hallway and up the stairs. Nearing Edward's room, she slowed her pace, listening to any sound, any hint, that Edward was awake. She strained her ears but couldn't make out the slightest of noise.

She approached his door, pressing her ear against the wood panels. Through the slit under the door she could see a sliver of dim light escaping into the hallway. Believing that he was just in bed, Bella prepared her hand to knock. For the first time, she heard a noise from Edward's side of the door.

With a sigh and a click, Bella's hopes were crushed as the light under the door disappeared.

She quickly retreated, making her way back down the stairs, without a thought to the noise she was making.

Inside his bedroom, Edward heard the soft creaking of the stairs under weight. He waited a moment, expecting his door to open any second but when it didn't he turned his light back and went to open the door himself.

Turning the corner at the bottom of the stairs, Edward could just make out the slight figure. Even with her shoulders hunched, the figure was too tall to be Alice.

"Bella?" he whispered into the darkness.

She whipped around, embarrassed when she had to grab the banister to steady herself after almost losing her balance. Self-consciously, she tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

"Hey," she whispered back.

"What's going on?"

"I…uh,…" Suddenly, Bella doubted her judgment of Edward's character. Of course, he wouldn't want her to keep him awake. What a stupid plan, she thought. She hurried through her explanation, quick to excuse her behavior and be on her way. "…I wasn't really tired so I thought I'd see if you were awake. But your light was off and I don't want to keep you awake. G'night."

She turned back around to go back to her room.

"No, wait!" Edward called back, louder than a whisper now.

Bella only turned her head in response. She raised an eyebrow to his proclamation.

"I'm not tired, either. I only turned my light off because I figured I should be sleeping. Come on." Edward held his door open for her.

Without hesitation, Bella walked through the open door and stopped short at her first look at his redone room.

"I take it you haven't been up here since the redecorating?" Edward asked with a laugh.

"No, I haven't." She crossed the large room to peer out the wall-sized window. In the moonlight, she could see past the creek that ran through the Cullen's property and into the woods beyond. She turned her back on the window and looked out into the room.

The entire open space that had once been the large loft was now Edward's bedroom, although it looked more like his own apartment. Moving her eyes slowly across the room, starting at the door where Edward was still standing, Bella took in every aspect of the room.

Just off to the occupant's side was a large grand piano perched in front of a wall where a built-in stereo system made its home. Bella quickly counted the six-plus speakers at various places around the room, providing the optimum surround sound experience. On large, wooden shelves, painted black, surrounding the stereo hundreds of CDs were neatly arranged.

Behind the CDs, Bella could see that the walls of Edward's room were the only walls in the entire house not painted a subtle shade of white. Most of the other rooms were variations of a white-on-white theme. The only exceptions were the bedrooms, though their walls were still white. Edward's walls the color of a dark green-teal, reminiscent of a peacock's feathers. The black floor trimming and crown molding matched the shelves as well as the posters of the bed.

On the wall opposite the queen bed, which was perfectly made with golden sheets and comforter, was a black leather couch, flanked by two black bookcases. The black-teal color combination gave the room a very sophisticated feel, but still appropriate for a teenaged boy.

"You play?" Bella asked after the few minutes of silence that ensued from her appreciation of the room. She made her way over to the bench, pulling it out and sitting down.

She ran her hand over the shiny white surface of the piano. Even more attention fell to the piano because of its contrast with the dark room.

"I do," Edward said with a nod.

Bella pushed down on the keys in no distinct rhythm.

Edward winced at the unharmonious noises and went to sit on the couch. "Do you play?"

"I don't think playing is the right word." Bella laughed. "My mom made me take lessons when I was a kid for awhile. Thankfully she gave up on her dream of me being a renowned pianist pretty quickly."

"You haven't said much about your mom," Edward observed, watching her tinker with the keys. It was only a statement, no question attached, but still, Edward waited for an answer.

"Let's not talk about that." Without giving him any time to respond, Bella changed the subject. "You've got quite the music collection."

"Don't be fooled. They aren't all mine."

Now Bella left the piano and went to take a closer look at the CDs.

"Let me guess. 'Essential Mozart: 32 of His Greatest Masterpieces' isn't yours." She held up the case.

"No, actually, that one is very much mine. And if you keep looking you'll find volumes one and two of 'The Great Piano Concertos' as well as 'Violin Concertos' and 'Sonatas.' And if you really look, you'll find the 'Piano Sonatas.'" He walked over to her and started pulling the five CDs from the shelves.

He pulled a sixth case out and quickly put the disc in the stereo, turning the volume on low. He quickly skipped to a specific track and soon the music of strings instruments floated through the speakers. For a few moments they were quiet as they listened to the music.

"What's this?" Bella asked, taking a seat on the couch.

"Vivaldi's 'Four Seasons.' This is 'Summer,'" Edward answered. He replaced the CDs he'd shown Bella and grabbed two others. He handed them to her as he took the seat next to her.

"The Beach Boys and Billy Joel?" she asked incredulously. "You've got a very wide range of interests."

Edward laughed. "Whereas that might be true, it wasn't what I was implying. You were looking for CDs that didn't belong to me. Those two were my mother's favorites."

"Did everyone in your family love music?"

"They did, but no one else really played. My mother especially loved music and she really loved when I played. She was the one who convinced my father to get me the piano. It was a gift for my sixteenth birthday. In fact…" His voice trailed off.

"In fact…what?" Bella asked.

"And if I said I'd rather not talk about it?" He spoke softly, but his eyes bore into Bella's.

Hurt, Bella answered politely. "Then, of course, you don't have to."

Really, Bella was disappointed. She'd always opened up so much to Edward, without really even meaning to and he'd barely said a word about the things that plagued him. Was it only refusing because she'd refused earlier? Why didn't he feel comfortable sharing with her?

The disappointment was easy to read in Bella's eyes. Edward didn't want her to think it was something personal; he would rather just not talk about his parents at all to anyone. He felt bad about how he refused, and quickly explained.

"In fact…for the eighteenth birthday, my parents were planning to take me to New York. We were going to go to a concert at Carnegie Hall. But now, we'll never go."

"When's your birthday?"

"In just a couple of weeks," he answered, thinking of the trip that would never be.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I can only imagine much you would have been looking forward to that."

With a wave of his hand, Edward dismissed the conversation.

"Are those your parents?" Bella asked pointing to the photo across the room.

"Yes."

Picking the picture up to take a closer look, Bella could see the distinct resemblance Edward shared with both his mother and his father.

"My mother was beautiful, wasn't she?" Edward asked, taking the picture from her and looking at it himself.

"Yes, she was," Bella answered truthfully.

Edward set the picture back down on his nightstand and lay against the pillows on his bed.

"So what do you and Alice usually do for fun around this place? I'm starting to get pretty sick of staying in this house."

It was clear that he was trying to steer the subject away from his parents, finally. Bella gave up trying to get him to open up to her and let him control the direction of the conversation.

"There really isn't much to do in Forks. Most of the time we just hang out with our friends from school. There are a few beaches you can go to though. First Beach is down on the Quileute reservation, but it's a really popular place to hang out. That's usually where the kids from school throw their parties. I'm sure there's one coming up soon. If you're interested, let Alice know. She'll figure out all the information."

"Not you?"

"Not me," Bella said definitively. "I've never been much for the party scene. Don't get me wrong though – I go and usually I have a good time. But I would be just as happy hanging out doing nothing."

For a few more minutes, they stayed like that, talking and joking around until Edward yawned.

"You're tired," Bella accused.

"No, really, I'm fine. I'd rather stay up talking to you."

"I'm not going anywhere, Edward. We can talk more in the morning. Besides, I should be going to bed, too. After all, I've got a big day tomorrow."

Edward gave her an inquiring look.

"I'm having dinner with my dad tomorrow night," she explained, heading for the door.

He reached out to grab her arm, turning her around to face him.

"Don't be worried about that, Bella. It'll be fine. You'll be fine."

Oddly enough, the tension that Bella hadn't realized she'd been carrying around dissipated. She felt strangely calm, comforted by Edward's words. She couldn't help herself from believing in them.

"Thanks. G'night." She disappeared down the stairs as Edward watched her retreat before retiring to bed himself.

* * *


	17. Do You Need to Love?

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: A little overdue, I know. Life's been kind of crazy lately. I'm so sorry that I can't stick to a more regular updating schedule for all of you. No matter how hard I seem to try to keep things consistent, my life and schedule tend to have minds of their own. Enjoy…**

**-perfectshadeofdarkblue**

* * *

**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**17 – Do You Need to Love?**

Alice tiptoed down the hall to the guest room, Bella's bedroom. As she slid through the small opening in the door, the sunlight was just beginning to peak through the drawn curtains. Very gently, so as not to stir her best friend, she laid down on the bed and fell back to sleep.

After only what seemed like a short time, Alice woke up again to find Bella was still sleeping. In the quiet of the room, she could make out the voices downstairs, signifying that they were the only two still asleep. Sensing that Bella would still be out for awhile, Alice tried to fall back asleep again, with no luck. Quietly, she got off the bed and took a seat in the armchair on the opposite side of the room, grabbing a book off the shelf to read on her way.

Two hours later, Alice was half way through the collection of short stories that was her mother's favorite volume and Bella was only beginning to stir. At the slightest movement, Alice perked up expectantly and would be disappointed when Bella merely turned over. Being the observant best friend that she was, finely tuned-in to all of Bella's mannerisms, Alice understood that it would only be a few minutes for her to be fully awake once she started stirring.

Proving her theory correct, Bella's eyes fluttered open a few minutes later. Rubbing her eyes as she sat up, Bella took a few minutes to allow her eyes to adjust to the bright room. Judging by the amount of light flooding trough the still drawn curtains, Bella realized it was fairly late in the morning. She threw the covers off her and started making her way to the bathroom as she silently cursed herself for staying awake so late. As much as she did enjoy spending time with Edward, she disliked this feeling more.

As Bella passed Alice on her way to the bathroom, the small girl cleared her throat causing Bella to jump. Startled, Bella quickly turned around and her balanced faltered. She reached her hand out to steady herself, but instead of bracing herself on the wall like she'd intended, her hand knocked into decorative mirror that adorned the wall. The glass rattled and, in fear of it crashing, Bella pressed her hand against it. However, her excessive force seemed only to persuade the shiny rectangle to fall. The frame hit the floor, causing the glass to crack and shatter into hundreds of different sized pieces.

Alice, who hadn't moved an inch during the entire ordeal, looked from the glass back up to Bella with a mischievous look. Bella stared back at her with a shocked look. She couldn't even bring her eyes downward to take in the damage at her feet.

Suddenly, Alice's mischievous grin broke through and her laughter rang throughout the room. Bella didn't hesitate to join her and after only a few moments, the door to the room flung open.

"What is going on in here?" Emmett's loud voice interrupted their laughter. The silence didn't last for long though as Emmett took in the scene and pieced the situation together. This time it was Alice and Bella joining in on the laughter.

By the time Edward made his way through the door, Emmett, Bella and Alice were gasping for breath.

"What is so funny?" Edward demanded, walking into the room without looking where he was stepping.

Just before he placed his barefoot on the shattered mirror, Bella lunged for him.

"Watch out!" she shouted, pushing him away from the jagged glass.

Finally, Edward gave the room more than a mere once-over. As he saw the amount of glass littering the floor, concern flooded him. "What happened? Are you all okay?"

"Cool it, Edward." Emmett placed a steadying hand on Edward's enraged frame. "Do you honestly think we'd be cracking up if someone was hurt?"

The calm that washed over Edward was visible as he exhaled. His shoulders deflated as he spoke, "Guess not."

Clapping him on the back again, Emmett said his goodbyes and made his way out of the room. "Well, I'm off to shower."

"Hey, Emmett!" Bella called out before he reached the door.

"Yea?"

"You going over to Rosalie's today?" Bella inquired.

"Sure am! But not till later this afternoon. She's shopping with her mom this morning. Something about buying stuff for college. Why?'

"Would you mind dropping me off at my house on the way?" Bella asked, sheepishly.

"No problem, kiddo," Emmett guaranteed with a wink.

From Bella's side came a huffing from Alice's petite frame. "How come you never give Bella a hard time about stuff, Emmett? She's as much your sister as I am!"

"True as that may be, sis, Bella's not bound by blood to put up with all my crap. She doesn't have to treat me like family if she doesn't want to. So I don't give her a hard time, so that she'll want to." Emmett reached over to ruffle Alice's hair and he finally left the room.

Alice huffed one more time, not satisfied with his response, but it did cause her to miss the uncomfortable silence that filled the room from Emmett's comments. Bella had stiffened at the mention of family, especially treating someone like family and, more specifically, not wanting to treat someone like family. For a few moments, Alice remained in her agitated state while only Edward noticed how Bella looked as though she were about to cry.

Knowing the feeling himself, of being forced to think of unpleasant things when you'd been doing very well not to, especially forced by Emmett, Edward tried to bring Bella back from the memories. But he really wasn't sure of how to do that. He didn't want to say the wrong thing – something he was always in fear of doing around Bella.

"Want some help cleaning this up?" he asked.

"Ha! This was all you, Bella. Have fun cleaning it up!" Alice skipped out of the room, waving to her best friend as she left.

"Well, that was real nice of her," Edward pointed out sarcastically.

"Typical Alice," Bella responded, her heart only half in it. "She's right though. It was entirely my fault so why should she be stuck cleaning up the mess?"

The double meaning behind her words wasn't lost on Edward. Instead of acknowledging it, though, he decided to focus on something else. "What do you mean it was your fault?"

Bella looked at him curiously for a moment. "You haven't noticed?"

"Noticed what?"

"My accident-prone tendencies? My clumsiness?" she offered.

The notes of his musical laugh filled the room. "Well, now that you mention it…if I remember correctly you, you were the one who sprained their ankle in the rain the other day. How is it, by the way?"

Bella groaned, "I did not sprain my ankle."

"I take it, it's fine then?" Bella simply nodded a response. "So how exactly did this so-called accident come about?"

"I couldn't even begin to explain. As usual." Bella took a leap over the broken pieces to grab a broom from the bathroom closet. Making her way back across the floor, she tripped on the rug that lay across the wood paneled floor.

Edward reached out to steady her, preventing her from crashing into the glass. "I'm really beginning to see this clumsiness."

She mumbled a "thanks" as she started cleaning up the mess she'd made. As she swept one section of the floor into the yellow dustpan she was holding, Edward began to pick up the larger pieces of glass from the rest of the floor.

As they were both bent over cleaning, Esme walked into the room.

"Alice said you broke a mirror. Are you alright, Bella?"

"Esme! I'm so sorry about the mirror! I really don't know what happened. I just…I accidentally knocked it off the wall. I'm so sorry! I really didn't mean to!" The apologies rushed out of Bella's mouth like the flood gates had opened.

"Oh, sweetie, please, don't even give the mirror a second thought. Are you alright?" she asked again.

She got her validation from Edward who was nodding his head in response, explaining that Bella was indeed unharmed.

"We're just cleaning it up now, Esme. We'll bring the empty frame downstairs when we're finished. I'm sure you could find something else to use it for," Edward backhandedly complimented her decorating.

Esme only smiled sweetly as Edward returned to helping Bella clean up the mess. She had no control over the happy smile as she left the room, glad to see the two bruised souls seeking and offering comfort from one another.

Mere hours later, Bella was sitting in the kitchen of her own house, refusing to look at the stove or counter. It was hard enough for her to even be in the kitchen, but she needed the privacy to talk with her father. She was extremely aware that her father didn't like discussing emotions, and Bella didn't exactly feel comfortable with it either, but she knew there were certain things that could not be avoided for their mere comfort. The topic was she was approaching, however, was one that could have been ignored. Bella, though, felt like she could use it as a stepping stone to get the conversation in the right direction. Besides, she really wanted to know these answers.

"Dad, what is Jacob doing here?" she demanded as her father took his usual seat across from her.

"He just came by the drop off something I'd like left here last night while we were watching the game." The look on Bella's face told him she didn't believe it, so he continued. "Look, Bella, he's worried about you. And so am I. He said you haven't even called him since. You haven't talked to him at all. I know you're hurting, Bella, but that doesn't mean you can run away from the people who care about you."

Bella was taken by surprise at how easily Charlie had turned the conversation even more emotional that she'd at first intended. And here she was, thinking she'd be the one setting the pace for the conversation.

"I just…I don't…What am I suppose to say?" She was so taken aback that she couldn't think clearly and her response came out resigned.

"You don't have to say anything, not to Jake at least," Charlie responded surely. He understood where his daughter was coming from. She liked discussing emotions and showing that weakness as much as he did – and that wasn't saying much. Charlie also knew why Jacob was really there. They'd formulated the "dropping something off" answer because they both knew how Bella would react if they'd only told Bella that he was there to see her, to make sure she was okay. Jacob had explained to Charlie to night before how much he missed Bella and Charlie was easily convinced to allow Jacob's presence because he understood all too well about missing the girl.

Bella gave her father a pleading look.

"Just talk to him a few minutes, Bella. Then we'll eat dinner and talk," Charlie reassured her that she didn't need to delve into details with Jacob, although the boy was not-so-secretly hoping she would. He wanted to help her heal as much as her father did.

With only a slight nod of the head, Bella left the room and went to sit in the living room where Jacob was pretending to be engrossed with the game on the television. Bella could hear her father moving around in the kitchen, heating up the lasagna she'd brought over, from the sounds of it.

"Billy must be expecting you home soon for dinner." Bella wanted to make it clear from the start that this conversation would be kept short. She had no intentions of allowing him to stay for dinner.

"Uh…yea, I guess so," Jacob responded, keeping up with his excuse for being there. "He'll understand that I couldn't leave without seeing some of the game."

"I'm sure you can catch the highlights later." If there was one thing she'd learned from all the time she'd spent around her father and Billy, it was they would show the same highlights from a game over and over again, dissecting every inch of it. With this knowledge, she refused to give in to Jacob.

"Guess you're right," Jacob conceded, flipping the television set off and turning to Bella. "So how've you been?"

Bella winced at how formal he sounded, nervous almost. She didn't like the direction they seemed to be heading. "I'm doing fine, Jake, really. You don't need to be worried."

She was hoping he'd take the hint and not pry, knowing well that wasn't typically his style.

"Why haven't you called me back?" He altered his technique, surprising Bella.

"It's been four days, Jake! Ever heard of giving a girl some space?" Even more surprising was the anger that managed to make its way into her words. Why couldn't Jacob understand that she didn't want to think about the things that had happened? Why was he trying to trick her into confiding in him?

She couldn't help but compare him to Edward at that moment. It was obvious that she was closer to Jacob, had known him much longer, and considered him a best friend, but, still, she couldn't imagine sharing with him some of the things she'd shared with Edward. Was it because Edward had things to share back? Is that why she felt more comfortable around him?

Jacob could see that Bella was lost in her thoughts for a few moments and wanted to give her the chance to think things through. It wasn't like her to respond so angrily; normally she was so hesitant to disappoint anyone. Jacob realized how much she really must rather not talk about it then.

"Jake, I'm sorry," Bella's voice was softer now. "I didn't mean to sound angry. I'd really just rather…I…I'm sorry I didn't call you back, Jake,"

With his 6'2" stature, Jacob towered over Bella as he pulled her into a hug. "It's alright, Bella. You don't need to say anymore."

She nodded against his chest, feeling comfortable that he understand the conversation was over.

When they pulled apart, Jacob spoke again. Playfully, with a smile, he asked, "We're still on for cliff diving next week, right?"

"Uh…"

"Oh, no, Bella! You're not bailing on me!"

"Jake…"

"I'm not taking 'no' for an answer. I'm serious, though – bring anybody you want. We'll make a day of it at the beach and if you decide not to cliff-dive, that's alright. You can still watch." He added a wink at the end for good measure. He enveloped her into another hug, kissing her cheek. "Don't be a stranger, Bells."

"Thanks, Jake," Bella said softly.

He nodded his heading, knowing everything she was thanking him for. He made his way out of the house, calling out to Charlie before shutting the door. It wasn't until Charlie came into the room and put a hand on Bella's shoulder that she was pulled out of her reverie.

"Ready to eat?" he asked.

Bella nodded and followed her father into the kitchen. She took a seat at the table facing the windows, with her back to the counter. Charlie sat after putting plates down at both of their places.

They ate mostly in silence, neither sure of how to bring up the subject they were destined to talk about.

Finally, Charlie was unable to take the silence any longer and set his fork down. "Bella, listen…"

Bella set her own fork down, but was unable to look at her father.

"…your mother wants to talk to you."

Charlie waited for some sign of acknowledgment before continuing, but received none. Bella's eyes were fixed on the table, not a hint of emotion portrayed on her face. She was trying to avoid jumping to conclusions. Maybe he was only passing along the message because he felt obligated to. This didn't mean he was talking to her, it didn't mean he was giving in to her.

He continued, "We thought that maybe sometime during this week or this weekend, she could come here or we could go to Seattle to see her."

This time Bella couldn't control her reaction. Her eyes, still fixed on the table, were wide. But, still, she didn't speak.

"Bella? Are you going to say something?"

As soon as she opened her mouth, she couldn't control the words. Exactly what she'd been afraid of doing. She practically spit out the words, "You expect me to talk to her?!"

"She's your mother, Bella," Charlie tried to reason.

"Then she wouldn't have done what she did."

"That's what she wants to talk to you about, Bella. She wants to explain."

"Well, I don't want to hear it," Bella said defiantly.

"Bella…" Charlie had resorted to pleading. This conversation had not gone as well as he'd been hoping. Had he been crazy to think his daughter could be sensible about this?

"You know what I don't understand, Dad?" She waited just long enough to make sure she had Charlie's attention. "I don't understand how you can sit there and defend her!"

"She's your mother, Bella. You should let her explain."

"No! I shouldn't let her do anything! How can you suggest she deserves a chance to explain after what she did? She's the one who threw our family away! With your help, too!"

"Bella!" Charlie was beginning to lose his cool. He couldn't tolerate having his daughter think these things about her mother, about the woman he still loved, no matter how hurt he had been hurt by her.

"What?"

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Charlie closed his eyes while continuing. "You're right, Bella. This is my fault."

Bella was taken aback. She could see how much her words had hurt her father as the pain was evident on his relaxed face. She could see how hard he was working to remain clam. She immediately felt guilty for having caused that reaction. "That's not what I meant, Dad."

"It's still true, Bella. This is my fault, at least partially. And I'm very, very sorry for that." He opened his eyes and grabbed his daughter's hand across the table. "But your mother has asked to be the one to explain this. Or to at least be present."

"You still love her?" Bella whispered, unwilling to believe.

"Very much so, kiddo."

"But how? Even after all this?"

"It's not something I can control, Bella. I love your mother. I always will. She never meant to hurt me in the way she did. She never meant to hurt you."

Bella couldn't believe the words she was hearing. How could her father possibly continue to love a woman who had broken his heart so tragically? How had she so easily manipulated him? How had she convinced him of these lies?

"What do you say, Bella? Will you give her the chance to explain?"

No matter how much she didn't want to disappoint her father, Bella was hesitant to acquiesce. She didn't want to give her mother that chance to try to convince her of these lies. She didn't want to forgive her as easily as her father had.

As the hurt and betrayal from her mother sank in, Bella gave into the tears that were threatening her vision. Charlie moved to comfort his daughter, but Bella pulled away from him, recognizing her anger. Despite how angry she had been that he'd so easily given up on their family, Bella realized now it was only because of his love for her mother that he'd done so. He couldn't deny her anything she wanted, even if that meant she didn't want him. Her anger now stemmed more from the fact that her father had so easily believed whatever lies Renee and subjected him to. He was so quick to think her as much a victim in this as the rest of them. Bella was angry at Charlie for not standing up for himself, for standing up for what was left of their family.

"I don't think I can," she managed to say between sobs.

Charlie merely nodding his head, knowing this conversation wasn't over. His heart was breaking all over again seeing his daughter so upset but he didn't know how to comfort her after she pushed him away. Maybe she just needed space.

He began clearing the plates, leaving Bella to herself, sobbing at the table.

When she hadn't calmed down as he finished, he knelt beside her, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Maybe you should stay here tonight."

Bella couldn't form words, she could only shake her head to express that she didn't want to stay in that house.

"I'll call over to the Cullen's then. I don't really want you driving now." Bella nodded, allowing Charlie to help her to the couch in the living room.

After wrapping a blanket around Bella's heaving shoulders, Charlie went back into the kitchen and dialed the familiar number. On the third ring, a voice he didn't recognize finally answered.

"Hello?"

"Uh…hi," Had he dialed the wrong number? Charlie looked at the display on the phone, confirming he'd punched the right numbers. Maybe he'd been distracted and misinterpreted the voice. "It's Charlie."

There was silence on the other line for a moment. Then the voice asked, "Who are you calling for?"

No, it really was an unrecognizable voice. He explained, "This is Charlie Swan. I'm Bella's father."

"Oh! Police Chief Swan! I'm so sorry; I didn't recognize your name at first. I'm Edward…" he hesitated on how to explain who he was. "…I'm Alice's cousin. I'm staying with the Cullen's."

"Ah, yes, Edward. I remember that now. How are you liking Forks so far?" Charlie couldn't stop the words. It was part of his job description to ensure that the citizens of their small town were doing well.

"I'm doing alright, sir. Thank you for asking. What can I help you with?" Edward was confused for a moment. "Isn't Bella over there now? Is everything okay?"

"No need to worry yourself, Edward. Bella's here and she's fine – physically, at least. She'd been planning on driving her truck back over there tonight, but I'd really rather her not drive right now. She's a bit upset," he explained. "Is Alice or anyone home now that could come pick her up?"

"Alice isn't home now, no. I'm actually the only one here. But I'll be there in just a few minutes, sir."

Charlie went to protest, saying he'd drive her over instead, but the line was disconnected before he'd gotten the chance.

While waiting for Edward, Charlie managed to calm Bella only slightly. When the doorbell sounded, Charlie was startled, caught by surprise. He'd been so wrapped up in Bella for those few moments that he'd forgotten Edward was coming to collect her.

He answered the door and politely introduced himself to Edward, inviting him inside. Neither wasted any time getting Bella safely into the shiny silver car waiting outside.

Charlie bent down and placed a kiss on Bella's temple, whispering "I love you, Bells."

Bella could still only nod a response, mumbling a weak "goodbye."

Charlie shut her door and watched from the porch as Edward reached over her to help secure her seatbelt. He sighed as he watched Edward gently squeeze her hand before shifting the car in reserve and backing down the driveway. It broke his heart to watch another male take care of his daughter the way she wouldn't allow him to at the moment.

* * *

**A/N: One of the reasons I'm updating so much later is because this was a really hard chapter for me to write. I had a lot of trouble getting it how I wanted. In fact, after struggling for awhile, I wrote another chapter, filled with nonsense and nothing of importance to buy me some time to perfect this. But adding that chapter just didn't seem right…I didn't want to add it in just for the sake of adding a chapter. I like the chapters to at least have a bit of plot advancement. Instead, I decided to just take my time (and with the limited time I had, it lead me to here…a week later) and put some work into it. So hopefully, you all liked it. I really would appreciate any feedback you all have to give since really was so difficult for me. I think I managed to get it to a logical place and that it makes sense, but it could be that I'm seeing what I want to after putting so much into it. So really, any kind of comments (good OR bad) would really be appreciated.**

**Oh, and one more thing (sorry…), a couple of people have been asking me about the chapter titles. All the chapter titles are song lyrics. I feel that the lyrics capture the essence of the songs (at least in the way that I view it) and it always pertains to the story. It doesn't necessarily tie into that specific chapter obviously, and it usually hints to the direction things are heading because of what happens in the chapter. If you were one of those that asked, or are just curious, let me know and I can explain further, or if you want to know what specific songs they are. :)**


	18. We'll Find a Way to Make it Right

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: Thanks for all the great feedback with last chapter. From the sounds of the reviews, you all really enjoyed it…and that's awesome! I'm so glad you are all enjoying where this story is going. I had no idea when I started writing that I'd get 18 chapters in. But you all continue to amaze me each and every time I update…thank you so much. Enjoy…**

**perfectshadeofdarkblue**

* * *

**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**18 – We'll Find a Way to Make it Right**

The calm atmosphere inside the car helped to settle Bella as Edward confidently sped towards home with only one hand on the steering wheel. His other hand was wound tightly around Bella's. Feeling as though she might fall apart if his grip was loosened, Bella was holding on just as tightly. She loved the comfort his hand was offering, but was glad he never tried to shush her cries and soothe her into believing it would all be alright.

By the time the car was parked inside the massive garage, located adjacent to the Cullen's house, not a single cry was escaping Bella. Her eyes had long dried and she'd now resigned to stare straight ahead and will her world to right itself. She needed no help to make it inside although Edward continued to offer it.

Worried that Bella might tumble backwards down the stairs because of the lack of attention she was giving the task, coupled with her clumsy tendencies he'd just learned about, Edward guided her to the guest bedroom where she'd made her home the night before. Bella sat on the edge of the bed, staring straight ahead into the vacant air before her eyes. As Edward left the room without a word, Bella let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

Thankful that Edward was giving her some space, Bella quickly changed into her pajamas and climbed into the bed, sitting up and leaning against the headboard with the blankets pulled tightly around her, keeping her together. She allowed her mind to clear and thought of nothing as she continued to stare.

Bella kept the thoughts at bay, afraid to give into them again and let them control her. She vowed it would be something she'd never do again. She felt as though she was stuck watching everything around her spin into utter chaos while she could do nothing about it. At the very least, she decided, she'd remain in control of her thoughts. She wouldn't allow herself to fall prey to the vultures that were relentlessly surprising her. She would never show them weakness; she'd keep control.

Through the quiet of the house Bella listened to the volume of Edward's footsteps increase as he climbed the stairs. She could hear him mumbling half of a conversation, but couldn't hear who he was talking to. Otherwise, the house was eerily quiet, something Bella wasn't used to. When the sounds of Edward's footsteps disappeared, Bella wondered where he went. He hadn't continued to the third floor, to his room and the only other rooms on this floor belonged to Alice and Emmett. She managed to place him at the end of the hallway when he spoke again. This time, without the interference of his footsteps, Bella could hear him clearly.

"I have no idea. She hasn't said a word to me." Bella strained her ears, listening for the response.

She heard none before he spoke again.

"I don't know, Alice." He sounded agitated as Bella rejoiced, knowing the identity of his partner. "Do honestly think she'd tell me?"

Realizing he was talking on his phone and she'd never hear the responses, Bella gave us, retreating back into her numb state.

Edward, however, was still forced to listen to the nonsense Alice was practically shouting at him.

"Yes, Edward, I do! I've seen the two of you becoming friends lately! Go talk to her! If you won't help her, at least keep her awake for me. I'll be home soon."

"I'm not going to keep her awake for the sake of it, Alice. She's exhausted. I can only imagine the day she's gone through. If you want to talk to her, then you can wake her up," Edward paced back and forth as he spoke, wishing to be through of the conversation.

"Edward –"

He cut her off before she could continue. "No, Alice. And there's no reason for you to come home early. Enjoy your time with Jasper since he's leaving. I just figured you'd want to know what's going on."

"Not that I don't trust that you can handle things, because I'm sure you can, but this is Bella we're talking about, Edward. She's my best friend; I need to make sure she's really okay. I feel like I've been an awful friend through all of this – I'm not letting you convince me to stay here when I should obviously be there."

"Don't be ridiculous. There's no reason for you to be here…so you can be miserable? Bella wouldn't want you here suffering, too, Alice," Edward tried hard to convince Alice, because he knew as soon as she returned home, she'd drive him crazy.

"And how would you know what Bella would want?" Alice shot back, knowing if she let him keep trying he'd eventually talk sense into her.

"I –Alice…put Jasper on the phone." Edward couldn't even begin to explain why or how he felt so strongly that Bella wouldn't want others suffering from her misery. And he certainly didn't want to have to tell Alice as much.

He could hear the phone pass hands before Jasper spoke into the intercom. "Is Bella alright, man?"

Edward was surprised to hear the concern from Jasper. Not that he'd expected Jasper to be indifferent about someone who was so close to his girlfriend, but he'd never realized how much this group of friends really considered themselves a family. He wasn't surprised to find out how much they all seemed to care about the distraught girl just down the hall from him, it was clear enough how much he'd grown to care about her in just a short time. He couldn't imagine the concern that would emanate from him in this situation if he'd known Bella as long as Jasper had.

However, he was surprised to realize that he considered himself to be a part of that family, aside from being an actual relative. And it wasn't just that he wanted to think so, but that he also felt that way in his interactions with the others; they felt the same way.

"I don't know, Jasper," Edward answered truthfully. "I'm guessing she'll come out alright. But right now, she's hurting."

"What do you want me to do?" Since meeting and becoming friends with Edward, Jasper had learned to trust his instincts. It was obvious that Edward was a take-charge, action kind of guy and Jasper felt confident that Edward could handle himself. Being truthful, Jasper felt as though the Cullen's treated him too much like an injured bird. Edward could take care of himself, and if he needed help, he knew where to find it. But, Jasper knew that was the Cullen's way – they would help you whether or not you wanted or needed it. And while some might consider that a bad thing, Jasper could never think that about the Cullen's.

"Just keep Alice occupied. I really am sorry to have interrupted your dinner. If I had really thought things through I would have realized this is how Alice would react."

"Don't worry about it, really," Jasper said with a laugh at Edward's generally happy voice coated with guilt. He winked at Alice across the table while saying, "I think I can manage to keep Alice occupied for awhile."

Edward couldn't make out the words of Alice's response in the background of the phone.

"We won't be too much longer, though. I can only keep her away from Bella now for so long. And I'd like to make sure she's still in one piece before I head out tomorrow and leave her well-being up to the two of you for a week."

After Edward ended the call and replaced the phone in his pocket, he knocked on Bella's door loud enough for her to hear if she was awake, but soft enough that it wouldn't wake her if she was already sleeping. He heard a muffled response through the wooden partition and let himself in.

He quickly took a seat beside her on the bed, leaning against the frame as she was. With the added weight, sinking the mattress towards Edward, Bella allowed the springs to move her body, her shoulder learning against Edward's. Hoping to add comfort, Edward reached his arm around Bella's shoulders and allowed her to lean against his body.

Nervous of saying the wrong thing to push Bella over the emotional edge again, Edward chose to remain silent. For several minutes the only sound in the room was their even breaths, in rhythm with each other. Bella, feeling more and more at ease after the tumultuous evening began to drift asleep. Next to her, Edward could feel the relaxation spread throughout her muscles and was careful not to jostle the bed.

Just as Bella's eyes fluttered shut for the first time, the thoughts she'd been succeeding at avoiding assaulted her mind. She drew a sharp breath and sat up straighter, moving away from Edward. He tightened his arm around her and tried to pull her back down, but she refused the contact and pulled away even further.

Edward could no afford the worry of saying the wrong thing, but still he chose his words carefully. Sticking to the easiest question while he folded his arms across his chest, he asked, "Are you all right?"

Bella merely shook her head, but gave no further comment.

"What happened?" Even though Edward had insisted to Alice that he was no going to invade Bella's privacy, he couldn't help himself for wanting to soothe her. While it wasn't the same kind, he knew the feeling of pain well and he didn't think anyone deserved to suffer through it.

Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw Bella's head twitch in another shake, but the movement had been so subtle he couldn't be sure. When he turned his head to look at Bella straight on, he was met a view of her profile. Her body was an image of his own, with her arms crossed against her chest and her face straight forward, focusing on what appeared to be the wall on the opposite side of the room. Her stare was cold and not an ounce of emotion showed on her face.

"Will you talk to me, Bella?"

Her only response was turning her head to look at Edward. He could see the effort she was putting into her icy demeanor but also noticed the heartbreak in her eyes.

"What happened, Bella?" He put his cool hands on her elbows, willing through the exchange of body heat for her to answer.

"I'm fine, Edward," she answered just as coolly as her expression would have suggested.

"Bella, really? That's…" he started.

"Really, Edward. I'm fine," the finality in her tone was evident without her turning away from Edward, now to face the window.

The sharp turn of her head swept her hair in front of Edward's face and he breathed in the scent of her. Slowly she turned back, but only to face the opposing wall again. Edward waited a few more minutes, giving her the chance to speak up if she wanted. Bella was refusing to look at him and he was beginning to feel as though his presence was a bother to her. Exactly the opposite of what he wanted. Resigning that she wasn't going to talk to him tonight, he surrendered and moved to get off the bed. Trying to regain his composure, he straightened his hunched shoulders before walking away.

"Wait, Edward," Bella called out. He was only a couple of steps away from the bed.

Hoping against all hope that he wasn't delusional, Edward turned back around slowly, pivoting on one foot. He made no move closer to the bed, willing himself to not show the emotion he was feeling, to show the desire he felt to return to Bella's side. He couldn't understand what had come over him, why he was so drawn to her side. But he couldn't fathom leaving her alone in this current state. He could only assume that she'd allow her icy exterior to cave once she was alone and that was not something he could bear just imagining. Edward felt certain that his presence alone was enough to ensure that Bella's tears wouldn't fall. But he didn't want her knowing any of this.

Instead of speaking, he raised his eyebrows in question at the same time he ran a frustrated hand through his already messy hair.

"Don't leave."

The flash of confusion across his face was quick, but Bella still caught it.

"Please," she pleaded. "Stay with me."

With a quick nod of her head, he returned to his place beside her, the indent and warmth from his body still evident in the fabric. As she leaned into him, he replaced his arms around her shoulders and soothed her by running his fingers along the bare skin of her arm. Once again, he could feel the wave of relaxation make its way through her muscles while she gave her tired self over to sleep. After only a few minutes Bella's breathing came in even breaths and he could measure them by the rising and falling of her chest.

Edward wasn't aware there were others in the house until he heard the voices. Cursing himself for falling prey to the tiredness and not hearing the opening and shutting of the front door, he quickly and gently removed his arm and got off the bed. He adjusted the sheets and pillows around Bella, praying she wouldn't wake from the movements.

Stepping out of the room and into the dimly lit hallway, he was met by Alice and Jasper who had just ascended the stairs. Alice stopped where she stood and gave Edward a look of impatience. She wanted to know full details of what was wrong with her best friend.

"She's sleeping now, Alice. She just fell asleep. She's fine, or at least she insists she is," Edward explained, trying to calm Alice before she committed to the irrational behavior he was sure she would.

The look she gave was quick and Jasper didn't see it, almost thinking Edward and Alice were communicating telepathically instead.

"I don't know, Alice," Edward answered her unasked question. He was reassuring her but he didn't know the details to do that properly. "She didn't tell me anything, but she didn't want me to leave either. We just sat there, not talking, until she finally fell asleep."

Alice shook her head and brushed by Edward on her way to Bella's room, mumbling the entire way, "How the two of them became such good friends is beyond me. Neither of them knows what to do half the time."

She knocked on the door softly as she pushed it open, calling Bella's name as she walked inside. In the hallway, Edward and Jasper could hear Bella's muted response.

Surprised she was awake, Edward motioned for Jasper, sensing it was going to be awhile before either girl came looking for them.

Alice took Edward's old seat next to Bella, not noticing the warmth he'd left there, which was the exact reason Bella had woken. She'd pretended she was asleep while Edward had readjusted the bed for his absence because she didn't want to appear desperate and incapable of being alone. She wanted to be in charge of herself and that meant she couldn't have weakness, so she was going to have to learn to be okay by herself. But she'd found it difficult to fall back asleep in the absence of Edward's body heat beside her. Hearing Alice's, knock on the door she was eager to have someone else keep her company, even though she made no plans of sharing the events of the evening.

As Edward and Jasper took seats on the couches in the living room below, Edward made a move to turn the television on. He was hoping something else could catch his interest to keep his mind away from the suffering girl who currently held his interest, but then he'd caught a glimpse of the distraught feelings that plagued Jasper's face.

"What's going on, man?" Edward asked, putting the remote down, thinking maybe Jasper's problems could occupy his time instead.

"Bella," Jasper responded blatantly as though this much was obvious. "This whole thing is just tearing me up inside."

Edward, again, was hit by amount that everyone here in Forks seemed to care for this girl. Aside from his actually family in Chicago and that included the Cullen's when they lived there, he'd never had such a community that he felt he belonged to. He'd always just seemed to exist more on his own, like a lost soul.

Sensing, Edward was waiting for further explanation, Jasper continued. "It's as much my fault as everyone else's. We all let Bella go on pretending nothing was wrong. In fact, we all helped her ignore it. At the smallest sign of trouble, we felt push it back, forcing her to focus on other things. But now, all the troubles are being rising to the surface…I can only imagine she feels like its coming from all sides."

"Jasper," Edward struggled to make sense of this. It was exactly what he'd have done, had he been in Forks at the time. What other option did they have? "What? You think you should have shoved it in her face?"

"No, of course not. It's just…I just wish this didn't have to happen to her."

Edward could feel the pain that Jasper was experiencing and it was oddly similar to the pain Bella was suffering upstairs. It was similar to the pain that he felt at Bella's situation. It was similar to the pain he felt when he learned of his parents' deaths. It was similar to the pain he felt knowing he'd never see his parents again.

"I know what you mean, man. She doesn't deserve this." He could only say the thing that was on his mind – the truth.

And no other truth was stronger to him than that. She didn't deserve to feel like this; she didn't deserve to be in the situation. In fact, no one did. But then how did it happen to people? Edward scoffed at the idea that karma could play such a role in life. Surely, there were things he could have done better but nothing that needed to be compensated for by the death of both of his parents. And he felt strongly that Bella had done nothing in her life to be sorry for. Then how did things like this happen to the wrong people? There must be people in the world that deserved this kind of pain more than others?

Edward was lost in his struggle to figure out a sense of order to the universe. Needing a distraction, for as much himself as his friend on the couch beside him, Jasper grabbed the remote and turned the television on, hoping to get lost in its mindlessness.

Trying to focus on the bright lights of the program playing, Edward couldn't escape his troubled thoughts. He shook his head, attempting to rid himself of the wanted worries. Would he ever feel comfortable thinking about his parents again? Would he ever be able to remove the reminders that were embedded in every aspect of his being? At the moment, he couldn't think of anything he wanted more.


	19. There's No Love Like Apathy

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: Anyone ever feel like life gets away from you sometimes? I feel like I've gotten so caught up in everything going on in my life that I've hardly had the chance to actually enjoy it. I can't believe it's already the middle of October...that's just crazy. Anyway, my apologies for the length of time between these updates, I'm not really sure where the time has gone. Enjoy…**

**- perfectshadeofdarkblue**

* * *

**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**19 – There's No Love Like Apathy**

The next morning, Bella woke with a newfound sense of determination. She'd suffered through countless dreams through the course of the night, all laced with a desolate edge. In the shower, she allowed the water to rinse the negativity from her body. Bella was through wallowing in her self-pity. If she wanted to feel better about her life, then she was going to have to take charge. The only surefire way to not show weakness was to not be weak. And in order to not be weak, she decided to stop hiding. Bella needed to go home. She'd finally realized she held the key to her own happiness.

When she finally made her way down the stairs, Alice and Esme were sitting around the kitchen table. Both were dressed for the day, eating their respective breakfasts. The paper lay abandoned on the tabletop while Esme's attention was focused on the conversation.

"I know he gets along so well with you all – and I'm so glad for that. Sometimes, I just worry that won't be enough once school starts," Esme was confiding. The way in which Esme treated her children more like equals, always amazed Bella. She often wondered whether that was due to the fact that Alice and Emmett were adopted or because of the kind of woman Esme was. Typically, Bella sided with the latter choice.

"What do you mean? We're not going to forget about him once school starts; he'll be there with us," Alice defended.

"Oh no, that's not what I meant, dear. Edward's always been so confident, but it's such an overwhelming situation. Starting a new school especially after all this time spent as a break from reality, it's bound to take its toll on him. Maybe it would be better if you introduce him to your friends before the year starts – sort of ease him into it?" It came out more as a question than a suggestion.

"Of course, I can do that, Mom."

"You could even invite all of your friends over here one night if you wanted to. Have a movie night or something…I could bake for you if you wanted."

As Bella bounded down the last few steps, she shouted, "That's a great idea!"

At first, Esme and Alice didn't know how to react to her enthusiasm. At their perplexed looks, Bella continued. "It'll be fun to get everyone together. Just think about how long it's been!"

"Really?" Alice asked for confirmation.

"Really!" Bella cheered. "You should call Jessica – she'd know if something's going on soon."

With a skip in her step, Alice ran upstairs to retrieve her phone. In a rush to get back downstairs, she quickly found Jessica's number and waited for her to pick up.

"I'm glad you liked this idea, Bella," Esme started. She was so grateful for Bella's sudden cheer and did not want to be the one who ruined it. She wants nothing more than to see Bella be cheerful and carefree.

"Yea?" Bella said, sitting down in Alice's old seat with her bowl of cereal.

"I am. I think it's good for Alice to keep occupied while Jasper's gone." It wasn't that she didn't believe in her daughter's relationship or approve of her choice in company, but she wanted Alice to have other things in her life besides Jasper.

Bella nodded her understanding and the two remained silent until Alice reappeared at the table beaming.

"Jessica actually said she was planning on having some people over tonight! She was glad I called – she wasn't sure whether we were around or not. But she's really excited we're going – she thought maybe we could all go up to First Beach for the sunset first!" Alice's excitement for the possibility of social interaction was overwhelming and Bella couldn't help but be caught up in it.

"That's awesome!" Bella exclaimed with a laugh. "I guess we should tell Edward we've made plans for him. Where is he?"

"He joined Emmett on his workout this morning. And I think Emmett was planning on meeting up with some friends to play football afterwards," Esme answered, beginning to clear the table.

Bella laughed again. "I thought you said you were worried about Edward making friends?"

Esme thought a moment before clarifying. "I'm worried about him making friends at school. I'm glad he's with Emmett and meeting his friends, but those boys have all graduated and won't be in Forks at the end of the summer. And I know it's a useless worry – Edward's a wonderful person and I'm sure he will make friends, but there's no such thing as a guarantee."

"Good enough," Bella shrugged.

"Come on, Bella, let's go do something!" Alice pulled on Bella's arm, guiding her towards the stairs.

After clearing her throat, Bella expressed her plans for the day. "Actually, Alice, I was hoping you could take me home in a little bit."

Esme stopped doing the dishes and Alice stopped tugging Bella's arm.

"I really appreciate everything you all have done, letting me stay here for so long, but I think it's time I went home. I doubt Charlie will last much longer by himself," Bella laughed, trying to lighten the entire situation and relieve some of the pressure she was feeling.

"Bella, you're welcome to stay as long as you want. Please don't feel as though you need to leave because of us." Esme wondered if this plan had anything to do with Bella's sudden change of attitude.

"Thank you, Esme." Bella smiled sweetly. "You all are right, though, I need to go home to Charlie. It's not right that I left him."

As Bella spoke, the sparkling light that had been present all morning vanished.

"Bella, if you'd feel more comfortable if we kept our opinions to ourselves, just say the word. We didn't say that to cause you to leave; we just want to see you happy."

"No, I know. And thank you, Esme, for wanting me to be happy. But I don't think it's helping anything that I'm away from my real home." Alice's face dropped and Bella laughed. "Don't worry, Alice. This is my second home."

Immediately, the smile returned to Alice's face and she embraced Bella with a strength that was surprising for a girl of such a small size.

The next few hours were a blur as a search and rescue mission was carried out to track down all of Bella's belongings. After much insistence that Esme did not need to launder any more of her clothes, Bella threw her bag into the backseat of Alice's car and climbed into the passenger side while Alice revved the engine from the driver's street. Esme leaned into the window once more before the girls pulled away, kissing Bella on the cheek and reassuring her quietly that she was welcome anytime. She kept her place at the top of the long, windy driveway, waving until the shiny yellow sports car was no longer in sight.

Alice made a sharp turn onto the road as soon as the front wheels hit pavement and there was the loud squeal due to the friction between the rubber and asphalt. Automatically, Bella grabbed the door handle until her knuckles were white.

"Oh, calm down. You're more used to driving with me than that!" Alice chided.

"I'm out of practice that's all! I've only driven with Edward lately, which was a nice change, I might add." Bella gave her a pointed look. "I've never felt like I was going to die as his passenger."

The speed fell only slightly as Alice cracked up at Bella's words. She recovered, wiping the tears from her eyes while accelerating.

"You are too much, Bella," a calm Alice said.

Bella turned towards her best friend, but Alice was focused on the road. Bella was sure whether she was happy Alice was taking driving seriously or disappointed that she was seeing her confused look.

"I'm kind of glad Edward didn't get back before we left. I didn't really want to have to face him and explain that I was going home after last night." She looked out the window, hoping to conceal her embarrassment.

"What do you mean?" Alice inquired.

"Just that he saw my breakdown last night after just dinner with my dad. He'll probably think I'm crazy for going back home."

"What do you care what he thinks anyway?"

"I don't!" Bella shouted forcefully. With subtlety, she continued, "We've just talked about all of this – he understands where I'm coming from pretty well. I don't want him to doubt me. I don't want him to think I'm making a mistake."

"Bella…," Alice drew out the second syllable until she was stopped at the traffic sign and could turn towards Bella. Shifting in her seat, she focused only on Bella. Although they hadn't talked much over the past few days, the previous night Bella had explained what had happened while at home and why she was so upset. Alice couldn't do anything but support Bella's decision to go home. Even though she loved having her best friend live with her, Alice knew where Bella really belonged – with her father. It was obvious that Charlie only ever wanted what was best for his family and even though his family might be a cohesive unit any more, he still had their best interests at heart. He didn't want to see Bella so upset and was hoping that if she understood what had happened, she's be more likely to move past this rough patch easily. Alice didn't doubt that Charlie thought he was doing the right thing, but without knowing what Renee would explain, Alice didn't know whether Bella could handle it or not.

Alice hadn't dared to say any of this to Bella; she'd merely listened and provided comfort. She wanted the trusting Bella to understand her own reality and decide what was best for her. Despite Bella's currently tangled trust in Charlie, Alice believed without a doubt that he would never force Bella to speak to her mother if she didn't want to. He might encourage it, but he would let Bella make her own decisions.

But what Edward had to do with the entire situation, Alice wasn't sure. Their growing friendship had become apparent under the Cullen roof, but that didn't explain Bella's concern over his opinions of her.

"…as long as you think you're doing the right thing, you have the entire support of my family. That includes Edward. And come tomorrow, if you change your mind, our door is open. We're here for you no matter what."

Another moment's pause and Alice pulled away from the stop sign. When the squealing sound subsided, she changed the subject. "Now tell me. What exactly is the deal with you and Edward? You two have become awfully friendly."

Bella's jaw dropped at the insinuation, but she laughed and swatted at Alice's arm. However, the mischievous smile remained at her pixie-like face.

"You're not serious, are you?"

Alice raised her eyebrows suggestively.

"Alice, no! No way. What's your deal of assuming there's an ulterior motive underneath every friendship I have with a guy?" Bella laughed at her friend's absurdity.

"Don't even get me started – I still there's something going on with this Jacob fellow." At Bella's disbelieving look, Alice held up her hands in surrender. "I just call it like I see it."

"And how exactly do you see it?"

"You really want me to explain?" Bella nodded. "First of all, you're the one caring what he thinks. Second of all, like you said, you let him see your breakdown last night."

"You're going to have to do better than that."

"Alright. Point C, you two have been hanging out a lot lately. Late at night, in his room – don't think I didn't notice!"

Now it was Bella's turn to crack up hysterically while Alice was left confused.

"Point C?" she whispered through the hysterics.

"What?" Alice demanded, impatiently.

"First of all, second of all….point C?" Another round of hysterics broke out and Bella struggled to breath.

"I said that?"

Bella nodded and now Alice joined in the laughter, shaking her head.

The remaining few moments of the car ride were spent in quiet laughter until Alice pulled up outside Bella's house and put the car in park. Bella hopped out and waved to Alice as she climbed the porch stairs.

"Edward and I will be by later to pick you up for Jessica's!" Alice shouted, tearing down the driveway.

Walking in the house and setting her bag down, Bella surveyed the cozy house. It was nowhere near the size of the Cullen's, yet it only made the mess that much more apparent. Quickly, she ran upstairs to put away her belongings before starting to return the house to livable state. During Renee's prolonged absences while at work, Bella had been the one to assume the role of grounds keeper – taking care of the laundry, cleaning and cooking. Sliding back into this role, she accepted her position with vigor, happy to have a place where she belonged. She was happy to have a purpose; Charlie needed her.

After scrubbing the kitchen and vacuuming the living room, Bella returned upstairs to take a shower and get ready for the evening's activities. As the steaming water ran down her body, she could feel herself relax. She prolonged the shower, allowing the fresh memories of the past few days to resurface. As always, Bella was left feeling grateful for having found such a best friend in Alice. Lately, she was feeling even more grateful that it hadn't been just Alice who had accepted her just a few years ago; she was glad it had been the whole family, for she knew there would have been no way she'd have survived otherwise. In her mind, she recounted the defining moments of the past five days, starting with Alice picking her up and ending with Alice dropping her off at home. Aside from those two, every other moment of clarity had Edward's presence. Bella began to doubt that she'd been home now if Edward hadn't been there.

Above all else, Bella was grateful to have Edward.

Toweling off, Bella grabbed clothes out of the closet without much thought; her outfit didn't matter much. On the one hand, she was happy to have some semblance of her regular life back, by seeing her friends. But on the other hand, she'd much rather hang out at the Cullen's, sitting around with Edward, Alice, Jasper, and even Emmett and Rosalie. Bella had been especially surprised to see the change in behavior from Rosalie over the past few days. They'd had minimal encounters, but instead of brushing past each other, Rosalie usually offered a warm smile or some sort of acknowledgement, which was a first.

Bella returned downstairs and went to work in the kitchen. She pulled chicken out the fridge and cut it up while she threw vegetables into a pan over the stove. Just as she turned up the heat and was adding the seasoning, Charlie walked in the front door. Bella heard him hang up with gun belt and then stopped short as he took in the sight of the house – the exact reaction his daughter had been expecting.

Charlie walked around the corner and peered in the kitchen, his eyes not believing the sight before him.

"Bella? What are you doing?" he asked, shocked.

"Cooking dinner, Dad. What does it look like?" she replied with a sarcastic smile.

"I meant, what are you doing here?" Bella's eyes widened for a moment and Charlie corrected himself. "Not that I don't want you here – trust me, kid, I do – I just…I didn't know to expect you."

"I'm home, Dad." Bella explained simply, turning her back on the sizzling stove to look at her father.

"You mean that?"

Bella nodded her head and Charlie walked over to her and enveloped her in a rare father-daughter bear hug.

"It's good to have you back, Bells."

Turning back, before her father could see the emotion in her eyes, Bella laughed. "You only say that because the house is clean and you've got food to eat again."

"Hey! I was doing just fine before!" Charlie joked back, preferring the lighter atmosphere instead of the serious, emotion-laden one he'd created.

"How 'bout you set the table?" Bella offered, wiping her eyes on the back of her sleeve. So far, so good, she thought. Thus far, coming home did not prove to be a mistake. Not only had she felt needed in the house's presence, but her father had as good as told her he wanted her. And that meant a lot coming from Charlie; Bella knew not to doubt his love for her.

"So what are your plans for the night?" Charlie broke the silence while putting forks and knives in their proper places.

"Meeting up with some friends at First Beach. Alice is going to pick me up after dinner." Bella doled out heaping portions of the chicken and vegetable stir fry over rice onto two plates.

A map of town flashed through Charlie's mind. The Cullen's house was on the far edge of town, the closest part of Forks to La Push. He wondered why Alice would be picking Bella up when she'd have the drive all that way again at the end of the time. Just as he was about to suggest Bella to take her truck to spare Alice to longer trip, realization came crushing down.

Charlie couldn't keep the disappointment out of his voice as he spoke. "You're staying at Alice's tonight."

Bella recognized it more as a statement that needed confirmation rather than a question. "Yea."

"Okay," Charlie responded softly. Bella knew he was going to be disappointed, but at the same time it didn't bother her as much as she felt it could. She was forcing herself to be independent, she couldn't rely so heavily on others if she wanted to avoiding pain.

"Bella..." Charlie called out.

"Yea?"

"I thought you were coming home."

Bella drew in a deep breath. Just because Charlie's disappointment wasn't such a bother, didn't mean she enjoyed the pain she was inflicting. She tried to word her answer as gently as possible. "I am, Dad. I'm just taking it slow – small steps."

He nodded his understanding and Bella went on to lighten the mood with humor. "Besides, after living with Alice for five das, I'm going crazy after spending five hours apart from her."

Her attempt was rewarded with a hearty laugh from Charlie and the two set down to eat their dinners.

Unsure of how much time he'd have with his daughter over the next few days, Charlie chanced bringing Renee up. While Bella had been hoping they'd have an unspoken agreement to never speak her name, she knew she wasn't being realistic. But she hadn't expected the subject to be brought up so quickly.

"I was going to call Renee tomorrow to see about getting together next weekend." He left it completely open-ended, not wanting Bella to feel pressured into anything.

Bella sealed herself off from her emotions. Purposefully, she placed a small smile on her lips and turned to Charlie. Remaining completely in control, she said, "I'm not sure I'm ready for that."

And that was that. Conversation ended. Bella made a note to remember to always state in charge and speak assertively since it had worked so effectively this time. She couldn't help but feeling a tinge of resentment at Charlie for ruining her first night back by bringing up Renee. Was he so clueless to how she felt? Or was he really that hopeful that it would change? Whatever the reason, Bella didn't care, so long as the mentions stopped.

As Bella cleared the dishes, Charlie went into the living room and turned on the television. For lack of anything else, he flipped the channel to a golf tournament and settled into his favorite chair. When she finished, Bella joined him, watching the game in silence while she waited for Alice and Edward.

When a golfer struggled to salvage his ball from a sand trap, Charlie spoke. "Edward going tonight, too?"

"Yea. It's kind of the point of the night. Esme wanted Edward to meet some friends before school starts."

"That's good. It's nice that you two are friends – he's a good kid, Bella." He smiled at his daughter before returning his attention to the screen where the same golfer was now putting on the green.

For a moment, Bella was curious. This was unusual behavior for Charlie. Never before had he really expressed an interest in her friends, let alone offer up his approval so conventionally. He acted almost as though Bella should need his permission before spending time with him. Instead of pondering over it, she took the direct approach.

"What do you mean?"

"Huh?" Charlie pulled his attention away from the game again. "Oh. I just mean Edward seems like a nice guy. You could do worse than him."

Before she could ask for further clarification, he refocused on the game as the golfers switched turns. Then Bella was left alone with her thoughts. She knew Charlie had met Edward last night when he picked her up; had he said something that made Charlie think they were a good match? Is that what Charlie was saying? Isn't that what Alice had said earlier?

What had Bella missed? She was fairly certain she'd done nothing to coincide with the thoughts of Alice or Charlie, but had Edward without Bella realizing? She'd been living in such a bubble for the past five days that she'd hardly noticed. Granted, she and Edward had bonded very quickly, but that was just because they were going through similar situations. Wasn't it? He had always showed concern for her and wanted to help her, but wasn't that just part of his friendly duties? Hadn't Jasper or Emmett done the same? As Bella thought about it, she realized that Jasper and Emmett had, in fact, not treated her like Edward did. Suddenly, Bella was overcome with uneasiness. Part of her was excited at the prospect of the attention from Edward but another was disbelieving. There was no denying that Edward was a great guy, and now that she was so focused on him, she couldn't deny she had feelings towards him. But she couldn't believe a guy like that would have feelings for her. She was such a mess, why on earth was he spending any time with her lately, instead of running in the opposite direction.

Running out of the room, Bella mumbled something to Charlie about changing her clothes. If she was going to get to the bottom of this, she was going to have to put more effort into her appearance, rather than just grabbing the first thing in sight.

Just as she reappeared at the bottom of the stairs, this time wearing a fitted t-shirt with her jeans, Alice honked her horn from the driveway. Bella called out to Charlie while walking out the door.

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­­­­­­­­­­­­­**The chapter title, "There's No Love Like Apathy" comes from the song "I'm Ready, I Am," by The Format. :)**


	20. Stay Out All Night, Forget Tomorrow

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**A/N: A warning, if you will, or maybe a reminder. The rating for this story is T, but up until this point, it's been pretty tame. While still within this rating, I thought I would just give you all a heads up. There's nothing over the top, just a touch of coarser language and a bit more of an adult theme. This one's a bit longer, too. Apparently, I have a tendency to get caught up in the writing and then I realize what I've written wasn't planned at all. Enjoy…**

**-perfectshadeofdarkblue**

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Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**20 – Stay Out All Night, Forget Tomorrow**

Alice couldn't stop the smile that broke out across her face at the site of Bella jumping down her porch steps and hurrying to the awaiting car. Allowing herself to let go of the railing once she'd made it down the steps and was sure of her balance, Bella raised a hand in a wave, wearing a matching smile.

Waving back, Alice celebrated in the happiness of having her best friend back. Although she'd never tell Bella she'd told her so, Alice rejoiced in being right; it seemed that all her problems would be better managed once she'd worked things out with her father. Alice could barely comprehend having such a tragedy strike and shutting out the only other person who wholly understood everything you were going through. Despite Bella's difficulties the night before, everything seemed to have worked out marvelously after a good night's sleep.

Alice watched carefully, looking for any sign of a crack in the façade, as Bella made her way closer to the car at the end of the drive. In an effort to save time, Alice had merely idled the car in the street. Determining that Bella was not trying to simply save face, Alice felt herself relax, the weight rising from her shoulders. She knew Bella well enough to know she'd consider herself a burden to the Cullen's after her indefinite stay, without even the slightest hint from her host family. No matter how much Alice thought returning home would be the right thing for Bella, she didn't want her best friend to feel unwelcome in her home. After all, it really was Bella's home, too, and a person should always feel comfortable at home.

Case in point, Alice thought. Bella needed to feel comfortable in her "real" home, aside from all the "home is where your heart is" garbage. Bella's home was here, in this house, with her father. And how could Bella possibly feel comfortable here if she wasn't living here?

Pressing down on the unlock button as Bella made her way toward the door, Alice saw her eyes furrow in confusion.

"No Edward?" she asked sliding in.

Only a hint of disappointment leaked through, but it was still enough for Alice to detect. Anyone else, however, would have been fooled because they were listening for it.

With a raised eyebrow, Alice invited Bella to explain the feeling behind her words. When met with no answer, she shrugged and offered an explanation. "He and Emmett only just got back when I was getting ready to leave. But they're going to meet us there; apparently Emmett's friends had the same idea for the night – except they're planning on staying at First Beach and partying."

"Huh."

Alice waited for the rest of the response, but instead Bella stared on the window, an amused look on her face.

"What?" Alice couldn't wait any longer to hear what Bella was thinking.

"Oh, just trying to figure out how what excuse Jessica will use to convince us to stay at First Beach with the seniors instead of going back to her house."

Laughing at the revelation, Alice joined in the game. "I'm more curious as to how she'll convince the boys to let her stay."

Howls of laughter echoed throughout the car as Alice's and Bella's paralleled each others, remembering Emmett's friends' opinions of Jessica.

"She'll have us with her, though. That'll count for something," Alice reasoned.

Nonchalantly, Bella agreed. "Oh, the spoils of having an in with the popular seniors. What a rough life we live."

After gaining control over her amusement, Alice flashed Bella a look of shock. "Bella…"

"Yea, Alice?" she said, waiting for the punch line of the latest joking thought.

However, Alice's intentions were far from humorous.

"Bella. They're not seniors anymore."

Rarely, did Bella not follow Alice's train of thought, but now she was lost. Her face half-turned with eyebrows furrowed, Bella urged Alice to explain.

"Emmett and his friends – they're not seniors anymore. Do you know what means?" Alice couldn't hold her excitement it and the pitch of her voice progressively climbed.

"WE'RE JUNIORS!" the girls shouted together.

The girls broke into hysterics as Alice pressed her foot on the gas pedal, the engine roaring as they gained speed, flying along the abandoned road. They celebrated loudly, dancing in their respective seats as Bella played DJ, selecting their favorite songs on Alice's iPod. Halfway through one of the latest pop hits, Bella changed the music to a song that coincided more with their musical tastes. Acoustic guitar chords floated through the speakers reaching their ears. Following suit of the calmer music, they settled down and sang along smoothly when the lyrics began.

Suddenly, silence overtook them. Bella looked to Alice for an explanation and saw that Alice had used the controls on her steering wheel to turn the radio off.

"I'm dating a senior," was the only explanation Alice offered.

Bella wasn't about to let herself get lost twice in the span of an evening with Alice. She racked her brain, searching for a connection. She was about to give up and ask Alice where that stray thought came from when it hit her – the song reminded her of Jasper. The song reminded Bella of Jasper, too. In fact, Bella was sure she could find Jasper's rendition of the very melodic notes on Alice's iPod if she looked closely enough. It was one of the very first songs Jasper had felt comfortable enough with to play in front of people. Bella remembered hearing the song back when she was in middle school, at the talent show. It wasn't until she'd gotten to know the older boy better through Alice that she'd begun to really connect it as a perfect match for his calming personality.

Proudly, she joked back sarcastically. "And we all know that's the reason you're dating him."

With a smirk, Alice broke eye contact with Bella and focused intensely on the road. "Oh, please. We all know the real reason I keep him around is because of the sex."

For a few minutes, Bella laughed alone. It wasn't until she'd realized it was only the vibrations of her laughter reaching her ears that she stopped.

"Shut up."

"What?" Alice asked coyly.

"You did not." Bella's mind flipped back and forth, trying to determine whether Alice was kidding or not.

"I didn't what?" Alice asked with a laugh that gave her away.

Losing control in the dire need to know, Bella shouted. "You had sex with Jasper!?"

Nodding her head earnestly, a content smile found its home across Alice's face.

"Seriously? When? Why didn't you tell me?!" Bella quickly ran the calendar through her mind. Alice and Jasper had gone out last night before his departure this morning, but Alice had ended the date early in an effort to help Bella. She'd only been home from her family vacation for five days – the same five days that Bella had been living at the Cullen's home.

Alice only continued to nod, her smile growing larger at the memory.

Bella smacked her arm, bringing her back to reality.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she demanded.

Sighing, she answered. "I just never had the chance."

Realizing she was going to have to pull the information out of Alice, Bella posed the questions one by one. "When?"

"A couple night before I left for vacation."

"And…"

"And what?" Alice asked. Bella answered with a defiant look, meaning she wanted details. "Okay, okay. His parent's were gone for a conference that week and he had this whole romantic dinner planned. It really just made me realize how much I love him and one thing just led to another."

"'One thing just led to another'?" Bella repeated. She's always imagined having sex for the first time was the sort of thing you planned out. The act of giving yourself, your entire self, up to another person, wasn't just something that could be fallen into lightly. "Really?"

"Really, Bella." Alice willed her happiness to mark its territory in her words. Even though losing her virginity hadn't happened exactly the way she'd pictured, she couldn't have been more pleased with its outcome. Besides, how often did things actually work out the way a person wanted? "I love Jasper more than anything. I feel so lucky that I've found him, so lucky that he loves me. He's the one for me. One day, I know we'll be married."

"Married? The one for you? Since when did you turn into such a sappy romantic, Alice?" Bella played it off as though she were joking, but she was merely trying to veil cynicism in her voice.

"It's corny, I know, but that doesn't affect it's truth," Alice responded wisely, unfazed by Bella's attitude.

Aware of her words' consequences, Bella backtracked. "I'm sorry, Alice. I wasn't doubting your relationship with Jasper. It's just….you're 16. People supposedly wait their entire lives searching for what you claim to have. How likely is that you've found this elusive soul mate?"

"Not doubting my relationship, huh?" she laughed, poking fun at Bella's tactful words before turning serious. "I don't know, Bella. And maybe I haven't. But if that's the case, then I can't imagine how wonderful it will be when I finally find my soul mate. 'Cause with Jasper, it's pure bliss."

The same content smile crept back across her lips.

"That good, huh?" Bella laughed, allowing all serious to dissolve in the air around them.

"It was unbelievable, Bella. And that's what makes me believe how right things are for Jasper and me. Shouldn't it have been awkward? Weird? Not good? Two virgins, together for the first time – it should have been bad. But it wasn't. It was perfect."

"Alright, lovebird. Time to party," Bella announced as Alice parked her car in the First Beach lot.

Side by side, the girls followed the boardwalk along the side of the parking lot till it the met the rocky beach. As their legs brought them closer and closer to the expansive Pacific Ocean before them, they grew silent in awe of the view.

Once the soles of their shoes hit the more compact sand rather than the rocky shoreline, they called out to the group of friends gathered closer to the water. It had been one of those rare days in Washington where the air temperature actually made a person believe it was summertime. Not only had there not been a hint of overcast, but at midday the temperature had been near 80 degrees, 10 degrees warmer than the usual high. It was nearing eight o'clock and the western sun was still higher in the sky, allowing the group of friends to catch up before it descended beyond the distant horizon.

Further up the beach, several boys were still dressed in their shorts, savoring the last moments of warmth the sun was affording them. Bella could not tell their shapes apart and only assumed it was Mike, Tyler, Eric and Ben, who were throwing a football lazily around. Not far, Angela was sitting by herself on old log, admiringly watching the boys, or rather, Ben, joke around. Thrown onto the mossy, decaying bark, were piles of jackets that the boys had probably discarded in their hast to enjoy the sun.

Closer to Bella and Alice was the larger group of their friends. In the middle of the group, Jessica and Lauren were talking the loudest, directing the conversation. In a wide, expanding circle were several others girls, faces concentrated in gossiping; there were even several faces that Bella hadn't been expecting. She brushed them off as more of Lauren's friends, with whom they didn't usually socialize.

Exchanging a look, Alice and Bella chose to make their way to Angela first rather than subject themselves to the eclectic crowd Jessica had gathered for their homecoming.

"Angela!"

They watched as the girl politely turned toward her name. The slow movement made it obvious that she didn't like to remove her gaze from her beloved boyfriend, but once she saw who had called, her entire face lit up. She stood, hurrying over and meeting them half way.

"I've missed you guys so much!" she gushed, pulling Alice into a tight hug. "You have to tell me all about your vacation!"

"Oh my gosh! It was amazing! I love Italy! I'm trying to convince my parents that there's no point in having that villa if we don't use it more often! Hopefully, one of these days I'll convince them to let take you there!" she gushed, returning the embrace.

Next, Angela enveloped Bella's petite frame, holding her tightly. In a town as small as Forks, it wasn't a miracle that the news of her parents' separation had traveled, but Angela understood that it wasn't an invitation to say anything to Bella. Instead, she settled on conveying her support through the gesture.

"I missed you, Bella," she whispered sweetly as Bella hugged her back. Pulling apart, Angela offered a sweet smile and tucked her hair behind her ear.

Bella smiled sadly back, catching the meaning and hating the reminder. She knew Angela was just being kind, it was the only thing she could be, but it didn't stop Bella from wishing that everyone could forget it.

The completed trio took seats on the log and spent a few minutes filling the others in about their respective summers thus far. It was long before the guys noticed the new additions and joined them around the log: Ben quietly sat behind Angela and she fell into his chest as he offered Bella a knowing smile; Eric mumbled greetings before heading back to the larger group; and Mike and Tyler lined up to hug Bella tightly, welcoming her back.

Alice tried, unsuccessfully, to stifle a laugh. Bella hadn't gone anywhere yet they were acting as though she'd just return from a year long trip around the world. Neither boy was gutsy enough to say anything specific, for which she was grateful. For a moment she wished they would – it was surefire way to get Bella to deck them, something she'd been longing to see forever.

Over the course of the next twenty minutes, Mike and Tyler competed for Bella's attention as they worked to prove themselves. Finally, as the sun was drawing nearer and nearer to water, they heard a commotion back towards the parking lot. Upon closer inspection, they noticed more cars pulling up and saw some of their friends head back that direction.

Deciding to see what was happening, Mike and Tyler were the first to run off towards the noise. Bella, Alice, Angela and Ben followed slowly behind, savoring the reprieve from the prattling boys.

"Guess some things never change," Angela joked, earning a laugh from each of her friends.

"Seriously, Bella. You wouldn't have believed the change in their personalities over the summer. They were both so much less annoying," Ben added.

"Good to know I bring out the best in people." Bella rolled her eyes.

"My only question is…what on earth did you ever see in Tyler?" Alice reprimanded.

"Excuse me! If I remember correctly, you were the one pushing me to finally give in – saying we could double!" Bella shot back.

"Oh yea, I forgot about that. Good thing we never did, though, Jasper probably would have punched him if he was that annoying." They stopped in front of the parking lot, their backs to the water, as they laughed at the image on calm, cool, collected Jasper hitting someone.

"You guys are so weak!" a booming voice raced across the almost-night sky, followed by the sounds of banging metal.

Following the boardwalk they'd walked barely an hour ago, Alice and Bella watched as Emmett carried a large, silver cylinder towards the beach.

"Hey Emmett!" Bella called out.

"Bella! Alice told me you'd be here!" he called back, taking his time to reach the beach, despite the added weight.

"Emmett…is that a keg you're carrying?" Bella asked incredulously.

"Why, yes, little sis, it is," he answered nonchalantly.

"Where did you get…" Alice started before she felt Bella's hand on her shoulder.

"Don't bother asking, Alice. You'll just end up wishing you didn't know. Plus it'll make it easier to lie to your parents later. Okay, well it'll make it easier for me to lie to your parents later," Bella explained.

Alice shrugged and skipped, with Bella in tow, towards her brothers' car to see what else he'd gotten his hands on. His monster, open-door jeep was parked in the first line, headlights illuminating the beach.

"Hey Alice, Bella," Rosalie greeted happily as she climbed out of her own car, next to Emmett's, although backed in. As Bella and Alice walked toward her, Rosalie popped the trunk and fumbled with things the other girls couldn't see.

"How much stuff did you bring that you and Emmett had to drive separately?" Alice asked, shocked and disbelieving.

Rosalie laughed. "We didn't have to drive separately, but there was no way I was going to ride in a car that reeked of beer. It worked out pretty well, anyway; Emmett likes the system I installed in my car better than his."

Alice and Bella could finally see what Rosalie was doing. Inside the trunk of her BMW, she'd installed a massive stereo system complete with state of the art subwoofers and speakers; it even had multiple iPod docking stations, like a six-CD-changer.

And so on down the row, car after car pulled in almost the entire graduated senior class joined the party at First Beach. Each car in the front line left its lights trained on the beach, to be useful when the sun finally set.

Bella and Alice lost themselves in the commotion as the older group set up, getting ready for their own evening.

"Bella! Alice!" They turned hearing their names called from behind them, seeing that it was Jessica and Lauren, waving them over.

Happy they'd made in this far in the evening without subjecting themselves to their torture, Alice and Bella reluctantly made their way back towards the boardwalk.

"Bella!" a much more pleasant, male voiced called out, again from behind her.

Both girls turned their heads at the sound of one's name and they saw Edward jogging toward them.

Unknowingly, a smile broke out across Bella's face, happy finally to see Edward, but nervous to talk to him. She knew they wouldn't be able to avoid the subject of her situation for very long, but she prayed that he'd have enough sense to wait, at least until they were alone.

"How was football?" Bella asked, hoping to keep the conversation in the direction she wanted.

"Good. Emmett's friends are a lot of fun. But I'm told I'm supposed to be hanging out with your friends tonight. At Jessica's?" he asked, checking his accuracy on the name.

Pulling on his arm, Alice dragged him towards the beach. "Come on, we'll introduce you to everyone!"

Jessica and Lauren met them at the edge of the boardwalk, admiring their new friend.

Lauren was the first to speak and she did so in a rather threatening tone. "Hey, Alice, Bella. So nice of you to say hi when you got here."

"We were distracted," Alice replied coolly, as equally irritating. Bella was wondering why Lauren was even there. Typically she thought of herself as too high to hang out with this particular group of friends, only if she wanted something did she slum this badly. But what did she want? Bella wondered.

"I'm glad you guys are back!" Jessica pulled each into a hug, unable to separate the best friends are two entities rather than one. She was also unable to bring herself to be so openly rude in front of such a gorgeous stranger.

"I'm Jessica!" she exclaimed, extending a hand towards Edward.

In turn, Edward stole a look at Bella and Alice as if asking if this girl was for real. He extended his hand and opened his mouth to speak, but Alice beat him to it.

"Jessica, this is Edward. He's….." Words failed her.

"I'm her cousin," he opted for the easiest route, rather than explaining how his dead father, may he rest in peace, was good friends with Alice's father and that in the event of his parents' deaths, may they both rest in peace, he moved in with the Cullen's. "I just moved here."

"It's so nice to meet you, Edward!" Jessica moved closer, eagerly taking in Edward with her eyes. She admired his tousled bronze hair, partially covering his shimmering green eyes, sparkling against his creamy pale skin. She admired his dress – how he looked put together with torn jeans and an un-tucked button up, yet not as though he'd put too much effort into his appearance.

As she took a step closer to Edward, hoping to engage him in more conversation, Lauren intervened.

"And I'm Lauren," she said, batting her eyelashes. "I'm surprised I haven't seen you around yet. You haven't been spending all your time with these two, have you?"

Edward smiled politely and wrapped his arm around Bella. "Come on, let's go get ourselves some drinks."

He knew it was only a matter of time before the conversation turned ugly and he was sure that Alice could handle the final throwing of insults. There was no way either of his only two friends at Forks High should be friends with the girls he'd just met and he hoped Alice would convey that as he pulled Bella away. He guessed correctly that she wouldn't be a fan of the mud-slinging insults and wanted to give her an out.

"Nice to meet you," he called, sarcastically over his shoulder. He tightened his arm around Bella's shoulder as he pulled her in closer to speak quieter. Before he could get a word out, Lauren called Bella's name.

From the evil coating her voice, Bella knew she was going to regret turning around. For a second, she debated pretending she hadn't heard, but it was too late. Edward had already stopped in their tracks and was slowly turning both of them around.

"Yea, Lauren?" Bella called back as lazily as she could manage. Willing herself to not be bothered by whatever insult Lauren threw her way. She knew it had pissed Lauren off when she walked away with Edward's arm around her. She'd made it clear in that five second introduction that she'd wanted to take a crack at the new meat, and even if it hadn't been, it was hard for Bella to imagine a person not appreciating Edward's beauty. Her thoughts were racing and she didn't have time to censor her thoughts, correcting herself for calling Edward beautiful.

And why should she? He was beautiful. That much was simple fact. She was distracted, not thinking much on the coming embarrassment, and was blindsided.

Lauren plastered the fakest apologetic smile on her face before answering. "I just wanted to apologize, Bella. I can only imagine what horrific it was to walk in on your mother fucking another guy."

With those few choice words, Bella went numb. She felt Edward's grip around her shoulder tighten and she reached hold, hoping to steady herself against him. Slowly and carefully, he turned them back around and continued to walk, hearing the beginning of Alice's assault.

He leaned in close to Bella, brushing against her hair with his nose. "Don't listen to her, Bella. She's not even worth the energy."

Edward ushered Bella away from her offender, not letting her thoughts linger on the unpleasant encounter. Emmett and Rosalie's conversation quieted as they watched Edward and Bella make their way towards them. Neither said a word about the look of pain on Bella's face, assuming that Edward was taking care of it. Every member of the Cullen family, including Rosalie and Jasper, were so careful around Bella now, careful not to say the wrong thing, careful to always focus of happy things.

Emmett leaned in to kiss Rosalie's temple. "I'm getting a drink, baby. You want something?"

Rosalie nodded and Emmett turned toward Edward for company, hoping to get a chance to talk to him.

"Bella?" Edward offered, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"Huh?" Unaware of what question he was asking, she simply agreed. "Sure."

Bella settled into Emmett's place next to Rosalie leaning against the fence. Rosalie waited for Bella to speak, but was only met with silence. Stealing a glance out of the corner of her eye, she saw that Bella had once again drifted into la-la-land.

"You alright, Bella?" she asked, concerned. Over the past week, Emmett had kept her filled in on how things were going for her. Although Emmett hadn't since yesterday morning, his family had explained what happened in his absence the previous night, only to claim it hadn't mattered this morning. In turn, he retold the events to Rosalie, who'd not only taken on the job of comforting Emmett but had taken a special interest for Bella's sake.

"What? Yea, I'm fine, Rosalie," Bella dismissed her.

"Quit the crap, Bella. Edward practically carried you over here. What's going on?" Rosalie pried.

Bella snapped. She may not have been able to stand up to Lauren a few moments ago, but that was simply due to shock. This behavior from Rosalie wasn't shocking, in fact, it was expected, but that didn't mean Bella had to allow herself to be walked all over for others' enjoyment.

"Why should I tell you?" Bella asked harshly. "Why do you care? You don't like me. You don't have to pretend for anyone's sake."

Rosalie sighed. "Bella…"

The younger girl heard the change in her voice and looked up, waiting for her to continue.

"You're right. I'm sorry, Bella – I didn't like you. But it had nothing to actually do with you. I never even took the time to get to know you. It was a dislike completely based on principle." She spoke with such earnest, Bella couldn't not believe.

"What principle?" she asked softly.

"Oh, Bella, and that's just it. You don't see it." Rosalie drew in a deep breath as though she were steadying herself from her emotions.

"See what?" Bella said louder, not understanding.

"You don't see what you have. You don't see how much people love you – not that you take their love for granted, because you don't, you just don't see how deep that love is."

"Rose, what are you talking about?" It was the first time that Bella had ever used the nickname for Emmett's beauty of a girlfriend, but somehow it had just seemed the natural choice. Their entire relationship was changing from this one conversation. There had never been this much honesty between them.

"I was jealous, Bella. Jealous of you – and what you have with the Cullen's. They all loved you so much right from the minute they met you; you fit in so flawlessly with them, all of them. I was jealous of that love they had for you. Sure, I had my own place within the group, but I never felt I had the same love that you had. I didn't want them to love me because I made Emmett happy, I wanted them to really love me, because they couldn't not love me." Once she'd admitted the truth, she couldn't stop the words from coming. Finally, she slowed down enough to breathe before continuing.

"I was jealous of you from the very beginning; you had what I wanted. And you didn't even realize it – which made me want to hate you even more! But I couldn't bring myself to actually hate you, not when Emmett cared for you so much." Rosalie shook her head, dispelling the tormenting thoughts. Gathering the long, blonde hair that would make Barbie doll jealous, she swept it across one shoulder and looked Bella in the eyes for the first time since she'd started speaking.

"Slowly, so slowly, I began to get to know you. I saw in your every action what it was that made the Cullen's care so much about you. I saw what made me care for you so much. Something you never see in yourself. You're such a kind person, Bella; others can't help but gravitate toward you. You have such a reassuring, unassuming nature. But you never let yourself believe in everything you have. You don't take it for granted, because you can't – you don't let yourself believe it even exists."

As a lone tear cascaded down Rosalie's high cheekbones, Bella became aware of her own tears.

Brushing away the moisture before staining her cheeks, she spoke, "Rosalie –"

"You don't need to say anything, Bella. I just felt that you deserved to know. I'm just annoyed at all the time I wasted when we could have been great friends. But maybe now, we can be. Maybe it'll be easier while I'm at school, not having your perfection rubbed in my face all the time."

Bella laughed at the absurdity. Rosalie calling her perfect. "If we're going to be such good friends, you're going to have to learn to stop complimenting me so much."

"Oh, you better get used to it!" Rosalie laughed, pulling Bella into a hug. "If only I'd gotten my act together soon, the five – now six of us with Edward – could have had so much time together."

They pulled apart and settled back against the fence, their eyes traveling to Emmett and Edward working their way through the crowd. Every few feet, they stopped as Emmett introduced Edward around.

"Speaking of Edward…" Rosalie started, a sly grin taking its place.

"Not you, too!" Bella threw her hands up in surrender.

"Alice already said something? Good."

"No, not good. You guys are way off base."

"Don't forget who you're talking to, Bella. There's no way you can play this one off – it's so obvious. And I haven't even spent that much time around the two of you – this is all from Emmett's mouth." The devious grin showed no intentions of disappearing so Bella really gave in.

"What's so obvious?" Now that this was the third person to plant these ideas in her head, Bella was hoping that Rosalie would offer more insight than the others had.

"How perfect you two are for each other!"

That was not the answer Bella had been expecting. That they were spending a lot of time together and they were getting close, now that made more sense. The shocked look on her face said it all for Rosalie to progress. Although it seemed as though she were talking more to herself than anyone else.

"Of course you don't see it, I should have expected as much. I doubt he sees it either. You both get so wrapped up in these tiny fractions of the world that forget to look outside of it. But don't you see Bella?" she asked, gesturing to the boys who were once again stopped, talking to friends. As Bella's eyes found them in the crowd, Edward looked up and he flashed a smile as their eyes met. "He's got it bad for you. And from the way it looks, you've got it bad for him, too."

"Rose, no. He does not have it bad for me," Bella annunciated, hoping to drive the point home.

"Yes, he does! Have you not noticed the way he treats you? Unlike anyone else. He's always thinking about you, putting you before anyone else, always coming up with a way to help you. It's like he feels forever indebted to you for and he's just trying to make it up to you. He worships you, Bella." Rosalie ended her rant, simply summing up her entire observation in a way Bella could understand.

Bella thought for a moment, trying to formulate an appropriate response, trying to come up with question that would give her all the right answers. Before her mind offered any philosophical genius, Emmett and Edward turned away from the guys they were talking to and started walking towards Rosalie and Bella. Bella admired Edward's every move, hoping for a sign, a feeling, something to be conveyed in those tiny movements.

She watched the loose gravel spray across the tar as his steps brought him closer and closer to her. The increasing wind was working against him, whipping the torn threads of his jeans. The exposed skin of his knee peaked through as the slash opened wider. His shirt was still lazily un-tucked, yet now stretched across his chest, displaying his prominent muscles. The sleeves were rolled and pushed up to his elbows, veins and muscles bulging in his forearms as he carried two drinks towards her. Two buttons were left undone at the top, exposing his throat and clavicle. Part of the collar was popped from the force of the wind, through hardly visible under the mess of unruly hair the wind now had control over.

Bella watched as he turned his head towards Emmett, his emerald eyes sparkling in the sun's dimming glow. Laughing heartily, he threw his head back, displaying his perfect white teeth. At the moment, Bella was overcome by his beauty. She was overcome by the amount of feeling she was harboring.

"Whatever you say, Rose," Bella said, giving up hope of getting her answers.

The lower crescent of the sun was now mere inches from the glistening water from her perspective. Her eyes darted from the newly-realized breathtaking sight walking towards her and the equally-breathtaking natural beauty of their created world. With the sun's own glare and it's reflection off the water, the bronze tint to Edward's hair was more apparent than Bella had ever seen it.

Painstakingly, she tore her eyes away from him and turned her entire body in concentration at the sunset. Checking her watch, she saw that it was only a few minutes until the weatherman's estimated sunset time. Eyes on the beach, she watched as everyone gathered at First Beach then quieted and turned toward the same amazing phenomenon.

Guessing that Edward was only a few feet away now, Bella promised to have her answer, or at least her question, by the end of the night. She vowed to pay attention to how Edward treated her, and to compare it to how he treated others. There was no way she could believe he could feel any differently about her than he felt about any other girl there. Maybe they were a little closer, but that was only due to living under the same roof for a short period and to sharing common tragedies.

As Bella promised these things to herself, she saw Alice dance along the beach, completely submersed in a childish game. Lastly, Bella pledged to live more like Alice – carefree and whimsical. Starting tonight, Bella Swan would take more chances, would have more fun.

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**A/N: I really was planning on continuing to the end of the party, but I already have 15 pages and would have at least another 8 till I get there. So unfortunately, there wasn't a lot of Edward in this chapter, it's coming! Please let me know what you think! The chapter title "Stay Out All Night, Forget Tomorrow" is a line from Anberlin's "Haight Street."**


	21. Wishing Wells Were Made to Echo a Dime

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: I'm so glad you all seemed to really enjoy that last chapter and hopefully I continue to with this one. Thanks to everyone who review - I really appreciate all the compliments and suggestions – keep them coming! And now what you've been waiting for: the rest of the night. Enjoy…**

**perfectshadeofdarkblue**

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Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**21 – Wishing Wells Were Made to Echo a Dime**

Slowing down, quieting the sounds of his steps, Edward completed his path towards Bella. After he handed her a plastic cup filled to the brim with red liquid, he jumped up to sit on the top rung of the fence she was leaning against. Without a word, he turns toward the sunset before him. He heard no noise behind him and saw only the backs of those in front of him; everyone was focused on the sunset now. Even the birds overhead seemed to pause in their flights to watch nature's magic.

As soon as it had started, it ended. The last traces of the brilliant star disappeared beneath the horizon, the green light flashed and the night had officially begun.

Garrett, one of Emmett's fellow graduates, turned his back on the ocean, raised his hands to the air and shouted, "Let's party!"

"Hell yea!" Emmett concurred, just as loudly as he pressed the 'play' button on the iPod plugged into Rosalie's system.

The sudden, jarring noise floating through the speakers caused Edward to lean away, toward Bella. Getting close to her ear so she could hear him over the music, he said "I'll never understand where he gets his taste in music from."

Pulled out of the dream world to which she'd escaped for the last few moments, Bella turned her head, the shock registering on her face. Edward's face was only mere inches from her own and she was shocked at the sudden proximity. However, Edward, not noticing her reverie, believed the shock caused by his words. He quickly apologized, fearing he'd unknowingly offended her.

"Sorry, I never took you for a fan of rap. Personally, it never appealed to me…."

"Oh, no. I'm not a fan, either," she said, effectively cutting him off. A quiet laugh escaped her lips at the expense of Edward's rambling, and then she grew quiet, unsure of what else to add.

Both of their attentions were turned towards the mingling crowd on the beach. They watched in silence as Alice danced before their eyes.

Speaking aloud his thoughts, Edward was the first to break the silence. "Now Jasper – that guy's got great taste."

"Oh, tell me about it," Bella gushed, then turned apologetic. "It's actually a shame he's not here tonight for your first Forks extravaganza."

"Why's that?"

"Awhile back, Jasper started this tradition of always playing his guitar with a bunch of friends at the end of night." Edward nodded in appreciation as Bella continued. "I guess you'll see it in action some other time."

As if sensing her boyfriend being spoken of, Alice suddenly appeared in front of them.

"Stop being antisocial! It's time to make some friends, Edward," she urged, tugging on Bella's arm.

Alice charged ahead while Edward and Bella followed her to a small group gathered to the side. The headlights of cars trained on the beach allowed Bella to discern the faces of Angela, Ben, Tyler and Mike. As a result of the sudden temperature drop, they were all wrapped in blankets, Ben providing Angela with extra warmth in the form of body heat.

Introductions were made around the group and the conversation quickly turned into a discussion of everyone's remaining summer plans. Uncomfortably, Bella sat on the log next to Mike, suddenly very aware of the cup in her hand. As the dialogue swelled around her, Bella withdrew into herself, enjoying the feeling of being surrounded by her friends – something she hadn't realized she'd missed.

The unexpected smooth transition from the introductions to their current topic was not lost on Edward. He, in fact, had noticed how quickly Tyler had steered the conversation in the direction of his choosing. And while he was thankful for being spared the painful explanations, he knew it was a deliberate effort. Edward felt certain that Alice had prompted the group before his arrival and did not appreciate having his dirty laundry aired out without his approval. Over the next several minutes, Angela continued to offer small, sad smiles to Edward. As well-intentioned as they might have been, Edward knew there was pity behind her eyes.

Mike bowed out of the discussion when he noticed Bella's silence, choosing to try a more private conversation. He moved closer and turned his body away from the rest of the group so his words were heard only by the one person of his choosing.

"Bella," he started, setting his big, round eyes on Bella's.

At once, she could hear the intentions in his voice. Inwardly groaning, she wished she could ignore him. She's been perfectly content sitting quietly and simply listening. She'd been watching Edward interact with everyone. The ease of which he fit into the group was obvious. He seemed to get along well with everyone. Bella had even noticed that they all seemed to be in awe of him.

Trying to delay the imminent awkward words, Bella brought the plastic cup to her lips. She took a long sip, savoring the feel of the liquid slide down the back of her throat. After swallowing the sugary beverage, Bella took another sip, happy to have something else to focus on. Silently, she thanked Edward for not putting a lot, if any, alcohol in her drink. All she could taste was the sticky sweetness of the fruit punch.

She continued to drink until her cup was half empty. Only then did she turn to face Mike.

"Bella," he said again, his hand making its way to her knee. "I heard about your mother. I just wanted to say how sorry I am. I can only imagine how hard things must be for you right now." As much as Bella wanted to push him away, she could hear the sincerity in his voice and appreciated his sympathy even if she didn't appreciate his sharing of that sympathy.

"Anytime you want to talk, I'm there," he continued.

With that last line, it became too much for Bella. She stood up, brushing his hand off and took another long drink to steady herself. Once she felt comfortable enough to speak, she announced she was going for a walk and headed away from the group.

The entire group stared after her, worried about the sudden outburst. Tyler stood, saying he'd check on her. He was worried by the outburst and had been hoping for a chance to talk to Bella alone and saw the perfect opportunity. He ran after her, draping his arm over her shoulders once he'd caught up. In the next two steps, each altered their paces and their strides synchronized. Hoping to comfort and convey his emotions, Tyler began to rub circles with his thumb over the bare skin of Bella's arm.

Edward's gazed lingered on the retreating couple.

"So Tyler and Bella are dating?" he asked, looking around the circles. He looked from person to person, waiting for someone to confirm the relationship.

Mike was the first to speak up, emphasizing his words. "No. They're just friends."

Understanding the hidden meaning, Alice glared at Mike before she explained more fully. "Actually, they dated earlier this school year, but broke up after a few months. They're still pretty good friends now, but there's nothing more to it."

"Unless you count the fact that Tyler's still in love with her," Ben chided, which earned him a playful slap in the arm from Angela.

Alice laughed and leaned closer to Edward. "And he's not the only one."

He followed her eyes across the circle to Mike who was sulking as though someone had just run over his dog. After taking in Mike's sad form, Edward turned his attention back to Tyler with his arm around Bella. Although he had just met them, he couldn't help but think that neither was good enough for Bella. It had only taken him a short time to realize how special she was and he didn't see that either Mike or Tyler truly appreciated her. Trying not to dwell on the sudden protectiveness he felt, he allowed himself to be pulled back to the people surrounding him. Edward settled for reminding himself to make a point to talk to Bella later on in the evening and trying to find out what her deal was when it came to Mike and Tyler.

Gulping down the remaining liquid, Bella silently urged Tyler to disappear.

"Want more?" Tyler asked, holding his hand out.

With a nod, Bella handed over the cup and watched as Tyler refilled it for her. As he walked back to her, drinks in hand, she was grateful to at least have a drink to focus on, instead of him.

"Thanks," she mumbled before taking a long sip. She swallowed and felt the burn travel down the back of her throat. In the sweet, fruity flavor, she could taste the bitterness laced throughout. Licking her lips, she controlled her face, not allowing the pain of the burn show. After her second taste, Bella turns as Tyler follows, to continue walking away from the crowd.

They hadn't moved two steps until Lauren was in front of them. She stood her ground in front of them as she tossed her curled, blonde hair over her shoulder.

Knowing the animosity Lauren harbored towards Bella, Tyler quickly tried to diffuse the situation: he offered Lauren a polite greeting and tried to steer Bella around her.

"What? Too scared to talk to me without Alice around to protect you?" she spit with stepping directly in front of them.

Bella could only look up, shocked at Lauren. She would never understand what made the socialite despise her so much. They'd been friendly towards each other in middle school, but then once they'd arrived in high school, their relationship had turned.

She had no sooner taken a step closer to Lauren and opened her mouth to tell her exactly what, when Tyler put a restraining hand on Bella's shoulder.

"Leave her alone, Lauren." The tone of his voice was no longer polite and he pushed past her, pulling Bella alongside him.

When they were a safe distance away from a shell-shocked Lauren, Tyler stopped walking and turned toward Bella. Nervously, he raised a hand to his neck, his thumb stroking the pulsing vein beneath the skin. His left arm was on Bella's shoulder, urging her to listen.

To steady herself under Tyler's unwavering gaze, Bella took a deep breath and another drink, focusing on the burn in her throat rather than the pain that another person could inflict. Only when the cup has half emptied did she return Tyler's attention.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I heard Alice telling Lauren off before and when I asked her what was going on, she explained what Lauren had said to you. I just couldn't let her say anything else to you," Before surging forward, he took a quick breath. "We live in a small town, Bella. News travels fast, but so do rumors. I know you probably don't want to talk about this, but I needed to tell you that I heard about your family. Now, I know a lot of what I've heard probably isn't true, but that doesn't really matter because I'm sure it's hard enough as it is. I just want you to know I'm sorry. And I'm here for you – I'm always here for you. If you ever need anything, Bella, you can come to me."

In front of his eyes, Tyler could see her resolve crumbling, her heart breaking. He watched as a shaky hand brought the plastic cup to her lips. He watched her throat tighten and then relax as she swallowed. For the next few seconds, he watched as she finished the drink. Bella couldn't say a word and afraid that he'd said the wrong thing, Tyler couldn't take it any longer.

"I know you broke up with me, Bella, and I don't have any right to be saying the things I'm saying to you now, except the fact that I still care about you. And I want you to know that there are people here who care about you. You have to know that. We're all here for you."

From across the beach, Bella heard her name being called. When she finally broke away from Tyler's sad eyes, she saw Rosalie jogging towards her.

"Sorry, Tyler. Emmett's requesting a larger cheering section." She offered an apologetic smile while tossing her blonde hair over her shoulder. Pulling Bella away with her, Rosalie turned back over her shoulder and waved. "I could tell from a mile away you didn't want to be having that conversation. And I have the perfect cure: watch Emmett make a fool of himself while playing beer pong."

Rosalie jumped, taking a seat on the bed of a truck. She patted the seat next to her and Bella joined her.

"Bella! Kiss my ball!" Emmett shouted, bounding over to her, beer pong ball held out.

Behind him, Garrett was doubled over with laughter. Rosalie was shaking her head, trying to keep her smile at bay.

"Kiss your what?" Bella asked, playing along.

"My ball! For good luck!" He placed the small, glistening ball in front of Bella's lips. Apparently, Emmett wasn't understanding. She raised her eyebrows and glanced at Rosalie for help.

"You're really going to ask another girl to kiss your ball in front of your girlfriend?" Rosalie asked, pretending to be offended.

"Rose…," Emmett whined. "I always have your luck. I need something special this time."

"You need Bella to kiss your ball?"

"Emmett," Garrett started but was unable to continue due to his laughter taking control.

"Why is this such a problem?!" Emmett asked.

"Think about it, Em," Rosalie offered.

"Thinking about Bella kissing my ball?" Suddenly, realization washed over Emmett's features. "Oh! Sorry, Bella."

Laughing, Bella waved it off. "It's all you, Rose."

"Alright, alright," Garrett declared as Rosalie pressed her lips to the plastic. "Game on!"

And with that, the game continued. On Emmett and Garrett's side of the table, a perfect triangle of beer-filled cups was laid out. Opposite them, were two guys that Bella did not know. She recognized them as having graduated with Emmett, but their names escaped her. In front of them, was a smaller version of the same triangle. As the game continued, Emmett and Garrett continued to sink balls on every turn where the two nameless boys struggled to make any of their shots.

The only thing keeping the game from getting boring was the relentless taunting coming from Emmett and Garrett. But it was mid-taunt that one of Jasper's friends made an appearance. Bella waved as Peter stepped out of his car. Quickly, he made his way over to Bella.

Giving her a one armed hug, Peter said, "It's good to see you, Bella."

"You, too. How's the summer been?"

"Good, good. I just missed Jasper, though. I went on vacation with Charlotte's family last week and now he's gone. You gonna play tonight in his place?" Peter asked, referring to their expected performance at the end of the night. Even though Jasper played lead, everyone would still expect the songs without him.

"Oh, I don't know about that! But I'll definitely be there to listen," Bella compromised.

"Alright. Well, I'll see you later then." He walked away, greeting friends as he made his way through the party, probably on the search for his girlfriend who'd been at the party since its start.

Bella turned just in time to see Emmett skillfully shoot a ball into the last cup on his opponents' side of the table.

Shouts erupted through the small crowd that had gathered as Garrett yelled, "Drink up, boys."

"Wait. But I'm thirsty!" Emmett complained as he grabbed the cups on his side of the table. Passing them around, he handed one to Bella and Rosalie, he claimed that he felt bad for making them drink all of their own cups that the least he could do was drink his own.

During the game, Bella had finished her own drink so she took a small sip of the amber liquid. Puckering her face as she tasted beer for the first time, she shook her head, trying to expel the liquid from her taste buds.

The gesture earned a hearty laugh from Emmett who tried to encourage her. "You don't taste it as much if you chug it!"

"No way, Emmet. I am not chugging this," Bella protested as she took another sip, making the same face.

"Come on, do it!" Garrett urged. "We'll all do it!"

More quietly, Rosalie explained, "Really, Bella, it won't be that bad."

"Fine," Bella mumbled while a roll of her eyes.

"That's the spirit!" Emmett crashed his cup into Bella's as a toast and then brought the cup to his lips and gulped the remainder down. Garrett followed suit and Bella hesitantly did the same, taking much longer than the others to drain her cup.

Emptying the cup to the last drop, she slammed the cup onto the table, crumbling the plastic. All around her, cheers rang out and Emmett pulled her into one of his signature bone-crushing hugs. Bella melted into the hug, trying to shy away from the attention. Though she wasn't a fan of any attention, she rejoiced because this attention was not centered on her home life.

As a new pair stepped up to the table to take on the reigning champions, Bella left Rosalie in search of Alice. She followed the path of the boardwalk and as soon as she felt the sand shift beneath her shoes she kicked them off and left them in a pile beside the steps. The closer she moved to the raging ocean, the harder she felt the wind push her back. Fighting against the wind, Bella moved through the noisy crowd but soon the atmosphere became too much. She hurried along the beach, searching for an out. Once she found the edge of the crowd, she continued escaping further and further away.

She slowed down and faced the ocean, not daring to look back at the chaos she'd left behind. In the distance, the crowd had grown quiet and Bella allowed the emptiness to wash over her. She collapsed onto the sand, the compacted sand cooling her skin on contact. No sooner had she laid back onto the sand closed her eyes than a wave of nausea overcame her body, forcing her to sit up. She planted her bare feet in the fine crystals, bending her knees to duck her head.

After a few minutes her breathing returned to normal and she dared to sit straight up. Bella easily became lost in her own thoughts as she leaned back onto her elbows. Time no longer held a meaning while she stared into the dark.

It could have been minutes or hours as far as she was concerned. And she could have spent more minutes or hours right there if it weren't for sand being kicked up around her. Brought back to reality by the cool sand on her hands, Bella looked up to sit Edward take a seat next to her.

"Hey," he said simply, brushing his long locks off his face.

One corner of Bella's mouth turned up in greeting before she turned back to the darkness. The comfortable silence that was so common for the two settled around them as Bella returned to her thoughts and Edward mirrored her.

"How did we get here?" Bella asked softly, successfully being the first to break the silence.

"'In the face of an overpowering mystery, you don't dare disobey,'" Edward quoted, closing his eyes.

"_The Little Prince_?" she asked.

With a nod of his head, Edward continued explaining, "You can't think about it. It may not make any sense now, and it may never make any sense. You have to realize that sometimes there's no choice but to succumb to life's mysteries when they're too difficult to understand."

Bella nodded and allowed the comfortable silence to return.

Still sensing that something was plaguing Bella's mind, Edward asked, "What's going on?"

With a shrug of her shoulders, Bella answered "I wasn't feeling too hot."

"Do you want me to take you home?" Edward asked concerned.

"No, no. I'm fine – just needed a break from the craziness," Bella insisted, as she shivered in the cold from the increasing winds.

"Come on, Bella. I've got a jacket in my car you can borrow." Edward stood up and held out his hand to help Bella to her feet.

"Really, Edward, you don't need to. I'm fine." She shook her head and refused his hand.

The wind whipped his hair as he turned to face the ocean and walked towards the water. Bella could make out the shape of him as the distance between them increased. She watched as he ran a hand through his hair and then shoved both hands into his pockets. Then, as if trying to prove a point, the wind howled even louder.

"Edward," Bella called out over the wind, hoping her soft voice would carry over the distance. He turned around, eyebrows raise and she continued with a laugh. "I think I'll take that jacket now."

He jogged back to her place in the sand and helped her up. Bella stumbled the first few steps as her equilibrium shifted. Edward caught her before she fell and kept an arm around her in order to prevent that from happening again. She leaned into Edward for support as they traveled across the uneven sand. They walked slowly, but even that did not help Bella's balance. Every few paces, she stumbled and Edward's grip tightened around her.

When they crossed the threshold between the sand and asphalt, Edward assumed Bella's stability would be better. His car was on the back edge of the parking lot, the farthest from the hustle and bustle of the party and he quickly moved Bella in that direction.

"Masen! Wait up!"

The shouting was coming from behind them and Edward stopped in his tracks, pulling Bella to a stop as well. With a quick glance over his shoulder he saw Garrett jogging towards them. Edward dug his keys out of his pocket and handed them to Bella.

"The jacket's in the backseat. I'll meet you over there." Then he turned around and jogged toward Garrett.

Without her steady post to lean against, Bella could a few moments to gather herself together before continuing towards Edward's shiny Volvo. She closed her eyes and drew in two deep breaths, but quickly opened her eyes and allowed her breathing to become shallow when she felt the world spinning around behind her closed eyelids. Her first few steps were unsure, but she figured that the sooner she made it to the car, the sooner she could sit down.

She pushed through her dizziness and confusion and was soon leaning against the side of Edward's car. Through the window, Bella could see the lump of fabric that was the jacket on the backseat. Unlocking the door, she reached inside and grabbed the jacket.

Once she'd slide her arms into place, she pulled the zipper up and took in her appearance. Her reflection on the side of the car showed just how big Edward's jacket fit her. She pushed up the sleeves just enough so her hands peaked out, but there was really nothing more that she could do. The jacket completely covered her backside and the tops of her thighs and while she was gracious of the warmth it provided, she hadn't realized how much bigger Edward was before now.

Having finished appraising herself, Bella went to grab the keys from their resting place on the top of the car, having put them there to dress herself. With the long sleeves, she fumbled, causing the keys to crash to the ground. She bent at the waist quickly to recover from her mistake and immediately regretted her haste.

The blood rushed to her head and her stomach churned. Trying to ward of sickness, she squatted and closed her eyes, bracing herself against the side of the car.

"Bella?" Edward's voice called out as he approached the car. Finally, he could make out her form, curled towards the ground, when it got closer. He rushed to her, helping her to her feet. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

She laughed meekly at his concern. "I'm fine, Edward. Just not feeling all that well right now."

For the first time, thanks to his heightened senses from his concern, Edward noticed that Bella was slurring her words. Leading her around to the front of the car, he asked softly, "How much have you had to drink tonight?"

Again, Bella laughed but this time more heartily. "I don't know. I wasn't really keeping track."

"I think you just need to take it easy for awhile." Edward had stopped at the front of his car and leaned back against the hood next to Bella. His arm was wrapped around her, holding her to his body and Bella was amazed how much better she already felt.

However, her legs still felt weak and pushed her body backwards, out of Edward's grip, to sit on the hood. When she felt the incline of the windshield behind her, she leaned back and stared up in the night sky. She waited for Edward to follow, but grew disappointed as the minutes passed.

"What? You're not going to join me?" she asked, breaking her gaze at the stars.

As if all he needed was the personal invitation, Edward hopped onto the hood of the car and sat back next to Bella. He locked his hands behind his head to use as a pillow. Bella took advantage of the access to his shoulder and moved closer to lean against him. Automatically, his left hand dropped and pulled her closer.

"What'd Garrett want?" Bella asked from her resting place. Beneath her, she felt Edward's body stiffen.

"Nothing," was his response through clenched teeth.

"What happened?" she asked, worriedly.

Immediately, Edward felt about his reaction. "Nothing, really. It was nothing, Bella."

"Did you and Garrett not get along?" Bella was unable to let it go.

"No, no. Actually, just the opposite; we got along great."

"Then what'd he just say to piss you off?" Edward couldn't help but to grin at Bella's words – her altered state obviously affecting her normally polite demeanor. Even though he regretted that she didn't feel well, he was glad to see her relax a bit.

Wanting to answer her, but not wanting to burden her with his troubles, Edward decided to remain silent.

Bella sat up and look him in the eye. "Come on, Edward. You can tell me."

He simply shook his head, but didn't look at her.

"Just think of all the stuff I've shared with you. You know you can do the same for me."

Finally, he broke his concentration of the constellations. He looked her directly in the eye as he answered. "I know, Bella. Trust me – I know. And thank you for that. I don't think you'll ever understand how appreciative I am of your support. But…there are just some things I'd rather pretend didn't happen."

"Stop pretending you're all right, Edward," Bella said almost forcefully and she lay back down beside Edward. "Don't think I haven't noticed, either, cause I definitely have."

"Noticed what?"

"That you're pretending to be okay." Bella let out a sigh, exasperated. What else could she have noticed? "The only reason I haven't said anything until now, besides dealing with all my problems, is that I've been trying to figure out why."

"Why I'm pretending to be okay?" Edward asked, more to himself than to Bella.

"Exactly," Bella said as the seriousness of the conversation escaped her voice.

Edward smiled, remembering Bella's intoxicated state. "So what have you come up with?"

"Nada."

"Nothing?"

"Goose eggs."

"Hmm," Edward said as he ran his free hand through his hair. "You don't think I could be pretending I'm all right for the same reasons you are?"

"Edward," Bella stated, sitting up to look him in eye again.

"Bella," he said back, keeping his arm wrapped around her. He waited patiently for her to continue.

"I'm not pretending to be okay."

"Could have fooled me," Edward said with a sly grin and a shrug of shoulders. He really enjoyed egging Bella on. She was still very much in control of herself, but seemed to not have her guard up. Edward felt as though he were really getting the chance to talk honestly with her.

"Seriously, I'm not," she tried to convince him.

"Whatever you say." He rolled his eyes.

"I'm pretending I don't care, not that I'm okay."

"How's there a difference? Aren't we both still pretending to be something we're not?" Edward tried to shoot holes in her argument.

"Good point," Bella noted as she lay back down, silently declaring the conversation over.

Or so Edward thought.

Then Bella asked again, "What happened with Garrett?"

Giving up, Edward answered her. "Aside from calling me 'Masen,' he told me that it was a shame I didn't move to Forks sooner."

"What's wrong with that?" Bella asked, wanting confirmation.

"It's like saying it was a shame my parents didn't die sooner."

To Bella, the words were like a breath of fresh air. Hearing Edward speak openly about his parents helped her feel as though she weren't the only lost one in the universe.

"I just walked away. How did he expect me to take it?" Edward asked.

"He didn't mean anything by it, Edward. You've got to realize that. In fact, he was probably trying to make you feel more comfortable here. He knows you didn't move here under the best of circumstances and he was trying to tell you that it would be alright. That life here wouldn't be too bad."

"I don't think life here is bad," Edward quickly corrected, giving Bella a squeeze. "I just wish that my parents could still be a part of it."

Bella let herself melt into Edward's side, not knowing what more she could say.

"What more can I do to move on? It's not like I'm trying to forget them. I've accepted their deaths; I know they're not coming back. I'm ready to move past the pain. I want to be able to think about them whenever I want, not be blindsided whenever I misconstrue someone's words. I want to go back to living my life. I know it sounds callous, but I don't know how else I can deal on a daily basis."

During his speech, Bella changed her position so she was sitting against her elbows, allowing herself a better look at Edward. His face was still turned forward. They were too far away from the party for anyone to notice them there in the dark, but Bella could see his eyes sweep across the moving sea of bodies, back and forth. Drawing silent, he finally rested his gaze on the stars above.

Bella reached out a hand, brushing the hair out of his eyes and resting it on his cheek to demand his attention. Slowly, he turned to look at her.

She spoke with authority. "You will learn, Edward. You will move on and you won't forget them. You'll be able to think about them whenever you want and whenever someone else forces the thought. It won't matter - you'll be past the pain."

Staring deep into his eyes, the words soothed Edward in every inch of his existence. He gave her an imperceptible nod and closed his eyes as he leaned into her touch.

Taking notice of the relaxation that swept through his body, Bella couldn't help but be pleased with herself. For once, she'd managed to get Edward to open up about his life as well as offer her own advice. She wasn't sure if their connection was something she'd ever be able to understand but she past caring about the understanding. At the moment, all that matter was sharing that connection.

She gathered in one last look of Edward's appearance – the soft skin of his cheek beneath her warm hand, the thick lashes tangled together of his closed eyes, the slight part of his lips as she felt his breathing on her arm.

She closed her own eyes and gave herself over the connection. Edward was still leaning against the windshield and Bella leaned over his body, angling her face. In an instant, her lips were upon his with the slightest pressure. Her left hand found its way to the side of Edward's neck as he responded to the kiss. Just as Bella was about to pull back, Edward's own hand grabbed Bella's waist and pulled her body closer to his own. No longer to support herself in that position, Bella moved her hand from Edward's neck to the other side of his body.

As her hand pressed against the cool glass, her lips pressed harder to Edward's. Suddenly, the kiss was different. With a simple movement, Edward's lips parted around Bella's and he drew her full bottom lip between his. With a surprise gasp, Bella moved her hand to Edward's hair. Pulling her fingers through his bronze strands, she stopped at the back of his neck but continued to massage the skin beneath.

Her body shifted at the same time her mouth did. Covering more of his body, she hovered above as she tilted her head in the opposite direction. With a mind of its own, her tongue darted out of her mouth and faintly outlined Edward's bottom lip. She felt his mouth open and her tongue quickly took advantage of the opportunity. Bella's tongue was ablaze with the excitement of its newest adventure.

Inside Edward's mouth, his own tongue massaged Bella's, making quick work of exploring the new territory. Tiring of his own cavern, he pushed through their point of attachment. Now it was his tongue's turn to explore the new territory, all the while, still massaging Bella's. During their kiss, Edward's hand had moved to Bella's hip, pulling her tight, holding her nearly on top of him. He took the time now, to push her back against the glass and held his own body up, hovering above hers. Not needing to support her weight anymore, Bella's hand took stock on Edward's shoulders. She traced patterns over the fabric, sliding her hands over his broad shoulders and down the tops of his arms, only to repeat the gesture, earning chills from Edward.

All his weighted rested on one arm, placed next to Bella's body against the glass. His other hand danced across Bella's body in a fashion similar to her own. He slowly slid his hand down Bella's thigh, only to trace it back up, over the hem of the jacket and onto her waist. With each pass, he pushed the jacket further and further up, until his hand came into contact with the smooth skin of Bella's stomach. Gripping her hip tightly there, his massaged her hip bone roughly.

For what seemed like hours for the two, but in reality, was only minutes, their lips continued to dance. They broke apart, gasping for breath, but refusing to open their eyes and end the kiss. Although they were no longer joined mouth-to-mouth, they bodies refused to break contact. Instead they were pushed flush against each other and trying desparate to get closer.

It took the vibrating of Bella's phone, in her back pocket, against the windshield, to break the trance the two existed in. Edward pushed off Bella, giving her the necessary space to answer her phone. She raised her hips off the hood of the car and looked at the name flashing across the screen.

"Crap – it's Alice. She's probably wondering where I disappeared to," Bella explained as she jumped off the car. "I'm going to go find her."

And with that, she was gone. Without as much as a fleeting glance in Edward's direction.

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**A/N: Alright, so I did mean to have this up a lot sooner, but it gave me a lot of problems. As far as the plot goes…I knew what was going to happen. But writing it was an entirely different story. I kept feeling as though it wasn't flowing well at all and that it just didn't make sense. So any feedback anyone has – I would love to hear it! Did you like it? Hate it? Like some of it? Dislike others? Were you expecting it? Was it out of the blue? Tell me please! Since I finished the original, I've rewritten it probably 3 or 4 times, trying to make it better. So please, give me your comments. I hope you liked it! But if you didn't, let me know what could have been better! Thanks! "Wishing Wells Were Made to Echo a Dime" comes from Gavin DeGraw's "Cop Stop." **


	22. Let's Imagine the End Before We Even

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: Thanks so much for all the feedback from the last chapter. There seemed to be a consensus that you all loved it, even if it was surprising, so let's see if I can make you happy again. Enjoy…**

**

* * *

Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**22 – Let's Imagine the End Before We Even Begin**

Emmett's Jeep loomed in the distance and Edward cursed his pseudo-cousin for insisting on the monstrosity. Never before had he been resentful of the choice, but at the moment that Jeep was the only single thing that blocked his view of Bella.

Of the girl who'd just walked away from him without looking back.

The girl who'd just walked away from him after giving him the kiss of his life.

The girl who'd given him the kiss of his life after he'd bared his soul.

Edward Masen did not make a habit of baring his soul, but he swore to himself now, that if he was rewarded like that each time, he'd make it a habit.

With lustful eyes, he'd watch Bella walk away until she disappeared behind the expanse of Emmett's Jeep. Then he just stared into the space that her body was recently occupied and willed her telepathically to come back. But to no avail.

Feeling the cold set in around him, Edward forced himself to move. He stretched his arms over his head and shook out his legs from the hood of his car before placing his elbows on bent knees. He held his head in his hands and tried to gather his thoughts.

After several minutes of pointlessly trying to rack his brain for answers to the questions he didn't know, Edward lifted his head at the sound of a rumbling engine pulling into the parking lot. Craning his neck, he tried to get a better look but couldn't make out the car behind the blinding headlights. It wasn't until the 1996 Jeep Cherokee parked beside Edward that he noticed Jasper was the driver.

The tall, blonde climbed out of the driver's side and shut the door, then opened the backseat door and grabbed his guitar case. Jasper locked the car then set the case down before sidling up next to Edward atop the shiny Volvo.

"What are you doing here, Jasper? I thought you left for Texas this morning?"

Laughing, he replied, "Yea, well. There was a small change in plans."

"What happened?"

"We were only about four hours away and the car broke down. My mom had been having some trouble with the car lately but she never got around to having it checked out. There was some small garage in whatever town we were in. Seriously, this town was unreal. I'm not even sure you could call it a 'town;' it was smaller than Forks. But anyway, they managed to fix the car pretty quickly but there was no point in us continuing to drive for the day, so my mom decided to head back home," Jasper explained, suppressing an inward chuckle as he recounted the events.

"So are you not going anymore?"

"I'm not, but my parents still are." Seeing Edward's confused look, Jasper clarified, "I was driving down with my mom and we were going to stay with her sister for three weeks, but I think she realized how much I'd rather be here. And thankfully, she's letting me stay. My dad was just going to fly down this weekend since he couldn't take that much time off work. But now she's going to fly down with him and stay for two weeks and my dad will be back after just the one."

"Basically, starting this weekend, you've got a house to yourself?" Edward couldn't believe the situation. His parents had a hard time leaving him alone for a weekend in Chicago, even when there was a building of tenants and a doorman surrounding him. He wasn't sure he'd ever be used to small time life.

"Pretty much," Jasper said with a wicked grin as he leaned back against his car.

The two sat in companionable silence while Jasper waited for Edward to say something more. It was obvious something was bothering him, aside from the fact that he was sitting away from the party.

"So what's going on?" Jasper finally asked, not able to wait any longer.

"Huh?" Edward asked, snapping his attention back to the conversation at hand. "What was that?"

Again, Jasper laughed, unsurprised.

"What?" Edward asked, feeling as though he'd missed the joke.

"You're a mess, man."

Edward's eyes dropped, embarrassed.

"What's going on?" Jasper asked again.

"Nothing. What do you mean?"

"What I mean is: why are you sitting all by yourself, away from the rest of the party? Why do you look completely disheveled, like you've spent the last hour mackin'? And why do you keep looking over my shoulder like you've lost your dog?"

Unable to meet Jasper's eyes, Edward offered a weak smile – only a dim version of his normally dazzling grin.

"So who was it?" Jasper asked instead.

"Who was who?"

"The girl you were making out with."

"Uhh…"

"Oh, come on, Edward. I won't tell Alice you were putting the moves on one of her friends, as long as it wasn't that Lauren Mallory chick. Then I will tell Alice so she can beat some sense into you."

"Goodness, no. That girl is trouble." Edward shuddered at the thought of Lauren Mallory's lips against his instead of Bella's.

"Glad to hear you think so. Now spill. Who'd you hook up with?" Jasper pressed.

"I wouldn't really call it 'hooking up.'" Edward clarified.

"Who was it?" Jasper was reminding Edward of Alice, practically bouncing out of his skin at the hint of the gossip. He could clearly see the similarities between the two and understood how they made such a great pairing. They seemed to complement each other in traditional ways, as well as in ways that you wouldn't expect. Even more so, Edward could see the similarities between the pairing of himself and Bella and Jasper and his other half. He could only hope for the chance to be able to connect with Bella in such a way that Jasper had connected with Alice; they're emotional bond was stronger than any other he'd seen.

"I really don't think I should say," Edward argued.

"Do you really think that whoever it was isn't already running around the party telling everyone she hooked up with the new guy?" Jasper retorted.

"Yes. I'm positive she's not doing that." He reminded himself that Jasper didn't know it was Bella they were talking about and that if he did, he wouldn't be insinuating such atrocities.

Jasper gave up and decided to try guessing names. He thought aloud, "Who could you be that positive about? Besides Alice, Bella and Rose, you'd never met any of these girls – Bella? Are you serious? You kissed Bella?"

"More like, Bella kissed me," Edward corrected as he chewed the inside of his lip.

"Oh, man." Jasper ran a hand through his hair and took a seat next to Edward on the hood of the Volvo. "Oh, man."

"I know."

"Oh, man."

"I know."

After a few more moments of silence, Jasper said again, "Oh, man."

"I know. But can you please say something else?" Edward asked, irritated.

"How was it?" Jasper asked, shrugging.

Edward glared at him and shook his head.

"Not good, huh? I wonder why Tyler's always trying to get back with Bella then."

"That's now what I meant, Jasper," Edward growled.

"Woah! Jealous much?"

"You should have seen how he and that Mike boy were treating her!"

Jasper laughed, heartily. "Oh, trust me, I know. I usually like to see how many times Mike will ask Bella out by night's end."

"And you conveniently decided not to tell me this?" Edward stared at Jasper in disbelief.

"How was I supposed to know you had the hots for Bella?" Jasper defended. "Wait, do you have the hots for Bella?"

"I…I don't know."

"It's a simple question."

"No it's not." Edward jumped down from the car and started pacing back and forth, gathering his thoughts as Jasper watched.

"You're making me dizzy," Jasper accused.

After being ignored, Jasper turned his sights skyward. He took in the beautiful, clear Forks night – a very rare occurrence. His body longed for him to move towards the party and find Alice, but he knew Edward needed him now. Feeling guilty for forcing Bella's name from Edward's lips, Jasper wanted to give Edward the chance to gather his thoughts before voicing his feelings.

Remembering back to that fateful day of school when he'd first met Alice Cullen, Jasper could understand how Edward might be feeling now. He'd been so overwhelmed with emotion for a single person, that he didn't know how to respond to those emotions. It had taken a lot of work to sort through them, but he had been able to do that with Alice and he couldn't be happier with the result.

"Talk to me about Bella," Jasper started off, hoping to rein Edward in a bit from his emotions.

"I don't know what there is to say," Edward stared out, facing the ocean and scanned the crowd searching for Bella. He ran his fingers through his hair. "Yes, I like Bella."

"You like Bella?" Jasper repeated. Then he asked, "As a friend? More than a friend?"

"I like spending time with Bella. I feel as though I've gotten to know her so well over the past week. And I respect her so much – she's such an amazing person."

"As a friend? More than a friend?" Jasper repeated, trying to help Edward come to a conclusion. The murky waters of unknown feelings were threatening to pull Edward under and Jasper was fighting for Edward's life, but he needed Edward to fight, too.

"She's beautiful. She's selfless. And she has no idea how endearing she is." Edward was lost to his own Bella-filled world, leaving Jasper behind.

"Edward!" Jasper retrieved Edward from his mind. "Do you like Bella only as a friend? Or do you like her as more than a friend?"

"You know, I noticed her beauty first. And the pain behind those big, brown eyes. I could see how hurt she was. And at the same moment, I knew how much I didn't want her to be hurting. I'd never even met her before, but I could just tell she was a good person. No good person deserves pain like that."

"Friend? More than friend?" Jasper tried again, feeling as though he was making only a modicum of progress.

"Sure, I noticed her beauty and I felt this connection right off the bat, but I never thought of her as more than a friend. I only ever saw her as a friend over the weekend. I just wanted to be a part of her life."

"So then why'd you kiss her?"

"She kissed me!"

"So does she like you as more than a friend?"

"I don't know. We weren't exactly talking!" Edward's frustration was peaking. No longer was he searching for answers to the unknown questions, but he was searching for more questions than he'd originally thought.

"What did you say afterwards?" Jasper asked, feeling as though he was missing a crucial part of the story.

"Nothing! Alice called and Bella raced off to find her."

"Oh." Jasper let the gravity of Edward's situation sink in for a minute.

"'Oh' is right," Edward said bitterly.

"You need to talk to her, man."

"And say what? 'Why'd you kiss me?' And then what? Tell her I don't know how I feel? What good would come of that?" Edward's pacing resumed.

"Edward, you've got to calm down. But, obviously, you're not going to be able to work any of this out on your own now. You need to talk to Bella – see what she has to say."

Downtrodden, Edward walked away from Jasper. He knew his friend was right – he couldn't work through this on his own. He needed answers. And Bella had those answers.

Jasper slid off the car and picked up his guitar case as he rushed to catch up with Edward. They were in for an interesting evening and he didn't want to miss any second of it.

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­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­**A/N: So I know this one was a little different (and way short!) – it kind of just turned out that way once I started and I wanted to see how it would turn out. Plus, I figured it'd be nice to hear a bit more from Edward. So let me know your thoughts – did you love it, hate it, etc.? Do you want to kill me for how many chapters this one party is turning out to be?? **

**This title comes from "The Test" by The Academy Is…. **

**Just a heads up…this upcoming week is crazy-crazy for me, so the chances of an update before Friday are way, way, way slim. But I'll try to work on the next chapter as much as I can and hopefully I'll have it up next weekend. I'll tell you this, a singing Jasper's making another appearance very, very soon. I know how much you all love that – so prepare yourselves. Maybe that was cruel – telling you but not giving it to you soon. But hopefully now, you'll think it'll be worth the wait! But in the meantime, let me know what you thought!**


	23. We Never Feel the Heat Until We Get

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: Thanks for being so patient during my hellacious week. Now I'm back and first, let's just mention that movie. I'll spare you the details of what I thought because I know you're anxious to read, but I'd love to hear what you all thought. **

**Secondly, I want to thank you guys for putting up with that last chapter. I admitted that I knew it was different (and short) and most of you seemed okay with it, based off your reviews. Just know that it was a temporary fix because I wanted to update and didn't have lots of time. No, it didn't move the plot along very much, but I still think that it was an extremely important conversation. **

**Thanks for all the reviews – you all know just what to say to make me happy! Now, let's wrap up this party. Enjoy…**

**

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Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**23 – We Never Feel the Heat Until We Get Burned**

"That's cheating, Mike! You can't do that!" Alice shrieked as she swatted Mike's arm.

Throwing his head back, Mike laughed heartily. Once he's subdued himself, he threw the smooth rock he'd been holding far into the depths of the Pacific with as much strength as his could muster.

"It has to skip, Mike!" Alice admonished as she bent down to find another smooth rock.

"Yea, Mike!" Tyler mocked in his best Alice impression. "It has to skip!"

"Oh, that's it! You two are so going to get it!" Alice held her ground as she turned face Mike and Tyler, eyeing them angrily.

"Oh, no!" Tyler faked his fear. "The pixie's out to get us."

Behind Alice, Bella walked up, crossing her arms as she took her place beside her best friend.

"You really haven't learned, have you?" Bella waited for a response, but received none. "Never mess with the pixie. She doesn't make empty threats."

Mike's eyes shifted from Bella's unapologetic smile to Alice's evil grin. "Uhh…Tyler? I think we better run. Now!"

After the smallest of head starts, Alice took off chasing the boys. After only a few steps she stopped and scooped up some of the pebbles beneath her feet. Then she continued.

Following the boys over the sand and rocks of the beach, she never ran as fast as she could. Whenever she had a clear shot, she tossed pebble after pebble, making contact with their backs, shoulder, legs, arms…anywhere she could.

"That'll teach you to cheat!" she shouted with a laugh as a pebble connected square between Mike's shoulders. From the unexpected impact, Mike tripped and Tyler slowed to keep up pace.

"I wasn't even the one who cheated!" Tyler shouted back, taunting. He turned around and stared down at Alice. When she didn't slow, he started running backwards and Alice cocked an arm back, ready to fire another rock at him.

In his haste to turn back around, Tyler lost his footing and ended up seated in the sand. Alice slowed and stopped a reasonable distance away, still poised with the rock in her hand.

"Jasper!" Tyler called out over Alice's shoulder.

Alice quickly cut him off before he could call out his next words. "Don't try and distract me. I know Jasper's not here."

She turned her body sideways, winding up as though she were on the pitcher's mound. Just as she stepped into the throw and was ready to release, a strong hand grabbed hers and turned her around.

"I beg to differ," Jasper said staring into her eyes.

He watched as Alice's eyes grew wide, taking in his presence.

"Jasper?" she whispered as tears threatened to fall from her eyes.

"Yes, Alice?"

"Jasper!" Alice shouted as she jumped up and latched her arms around Jasper's neck.

Prepared for Alice's usual antics, Jasper hardly missed a beat. Holding Alice to his chest, he swung around in circles.

"You're home." She pulled back to look into his eyes.

"I'm home, baby. And I'm not goin' anywhere," Jasper promised.

"I missed you."

"It's been 24 hours," he said with a laugh.

Ignoring his comment, Alice asked, "How are you home? Why are you home? What happened?"

"Does it matter?" he asked. "I'm home."

"You're home," Alice repeated with a happy smile as they stared into each other's eyes.

With her hand cupped around his neck, she pulled his face toward her and met him half way in a sweet kiss.

"I'm home," he whispered to her and leaned into kiss her again, more fully this time.

They were lost in their own world of happy reunions until they heard someone clear their throat behind them.

Jasper set Alice down on her feet and they turned to face Tyler who had managed to stand up.

"Thanks for the show," Mike laughed, hiding his jealousy.

Neither Alice nr Jasper felt embarrassed. Instead, they just looked into the other's eyes again with happy smiles on their faces. They kissed briefly again before Jasper walked towards the rest of the group. His path led him right between where Mike and Tyler stood side-by-side. He pushed them both hard to the ground as he passed, growling his warning.

"Never mess with the pixie."

Alice skipped along in Jasper's wake and jumped on his back as soon as she was close enough. She peppered his cheek and neck with kisses as she whispered her thanks in his ear.

Once they'd made it to the rest of the group, Alice jumped down and took her seat next to Bella, patting the space next to her for Jasper. After taking his place, he leaned behind Alice and wrapped his arm around Bella's shoulder, pulling her to him. He offered an encouraging smile, but no words before he released her and let his arm rest around Alice. Feeling comfortable, Alice turned her body to lean against Jasper, all the while not stopping her conversation with Bella and Angela.

During the chase, Ben and Angela had returned with drink refills and after passing out the cups, they'd settled into their places in the group. Ben was seated with Angela on one side and Tyler and Mike on the other. While Angela continued to catch up with her closest friends, Ben looked to Tyler and Mike for entertainment.

Jasper took in the scene around him, finally noticing Edward on the opposite end of the horseshoe, deep in conversation with Jessica Stanley. Her eyes never left his form and she often reached out a hand to touch his shoulder or forearm. Trying to contain his laughter, Jasper fought to remain inconspicuous in his spying. While Jessica was pulling out all the stops to flirt with Edward and hold his attention, Jasper noticed Edward hardly looked her. Instead, Edward's eyes roamed around the group, often lingering at Bella.

As Rosalie and Emmett stalked toward the group, Jasper looked away in odd satisfaction, feeling as though he understood Edward's feelings.

"What's going on over here?" Emmett called out as he and his girlfriend filled in the gap.

Greetings erupted around the now completed circle. Individual conversations came to stand stills while they all waited for a unifying theme. Jessica was the first to give in as she commandeered Edward's attention before anyone else could. Sensing the lull that had fallen over the group, Emmett took it upon himself, as oldest, to rectify the situation.

"You up for a game of beer pong, Bella?" Emmett shouted across the distance.

"What? You gonna kick Garrett to the curb for Swan?" Jasper asked over Rosalie.

"Jasper! My man!" Emmett held out his fist and it collided with Jasper's, he asked, "What are you doing home? I thought you were gone for the week?"

"Change of plans," Jasper shrugged as he pulled Alice tighter to his body, eliciting a rare giggle from her. He turned to Alice. "You always like this when I'm gone?"

"Like what?" she asked back.

"So…carefree." Jasper struggled for the words. "You're always laid-back and fun-loving, but I've never seen you willingly enter into a game with Tyler and Mike. How much did you drink?"

With a wink, Alice said, "Something's got to keep me entertained in your absence."

Bella's loud, unconfined laugh broke through their conversation, capturing everyone's attention. After a moment, Alice turned back to Jasper. "I haven't even had that much to drink! Nothing compared to Bella – she's way worse off!"

"That I could tell," Jasper said blankly as he caught site of Peter walking towards him. To the group, he asked, "What do you say we start calling it a night?"

"Heck yea!" Emmett shouted, wildly throwing a fist into the air.

Quickly, Jasper stood and retrieved his guitar case from where he'd abandoned it in the sand. Before corralling the group, he waited a few minutes until Peter had reached his destination. It wasn't until the dark shadows surrounding his friend receded that Jasper could see the outline of two guitar cases – one in each hand.

"Thought you might want to play with us?" Peter asked, holding a case out toward Edward, who looked to Jasper for reassurance.

"Sounds great," Edward answered after receiving a nod of approval from Jasper.

Together, the three walked toward the parking lots, settling into comfortable spots while they waited for the crowd to form around them. Whereas Jasper and Peter idling plucked at strings and fingered chords, Edward focused on getting a feel for the instrument in his hands. He slid his fingers from fret to fret, strumming softly so as not to draw too much attention to himself. All too soon, he felt, Peter was loudly playing the opening chords of a song that Edward didn't recognize, although the others did. Jasper called out across the beach, over Peter's melody, inviting everyone to join them.

The growing crowd did nothing to help Edward's nervousness. It wasn't the fear of making a mistake that caused the butterflies in his stomach, but instead the preoccupied state of his mind. It had hardly been two hours since he'd tasted Bella's lips but it seemed like days after he'd been cornered by Jessica Stanley with no means of escape. Upon marching away from his car, he'd cared about nothing more than his determination to talk to Bella and to resolve whatever issues may or may not have existed between them, but they hadn't so much as spoken a word to each other since Alice's fateful interruption.

All he wanted was to hear her voice again. He needed to hear her reassuring words. Edward felt convinced that his mind would be muddled mess until this looming conversation had taken place. He didn't know what would be said after his initial question and he didn't know how he'd feel afterwards, but he knew he would feel at peace with the knowledge.

Or so he hoped. But until he managed to find a moment alone with the girl who was racing through his every thought, he'd busy himself by playing the guitar with Jasper and Peter. Never mind the fact that he had no idea what songs he was about to attempt or that he'd never practiced in the trio before, regardless of the fact that it had been months since he'd even picked up his guitar. These days, he much preferred his piano.

But after feeling the smooth edge resting on his thigh, the way his hand wrapped around the skinny neck, and the vibrations that rocked against his body with every strum, Edward was determined to the instrument back into his regular routine. Maybe he'd even add guitar accompaniments to some of the songs he'd been working on lately.

Finally, Jasper was happy with the host of peers that had gathered around. He cleared his throat and the masses grew quiet in anticipation.

"How 'bout we get this started?" Jasper asked, looking around for confirmation.

Not needing the permission, Peter immediately jumped right into playing. Next to him, Garrett sat, bongo between his knees, easing himself into a steady rhythm. Jasper was the next to join, coaxing a beautiful harmony to Peter's melody. With a encouraging smile, Jasper nodded at Edward, inviting him to start whenever ready. When the first words resonated through the cold night air, Edward began to play.

"_I'm not asking for forever, and I don't need much of your time. And I know we can't be together, you should know I'm on your side. That's where I'll always be._"

With an increased tempo, Edward and Peter joined Jasper in singing the chorus. "_It's alright for you to be scared. I'll drive all night or go anywhere. If some day, our stars don't align, we'll go our own ways. You should know I'm always on your side._"

Jasper looked to Peter, who began to sing the next verse. "_Could I have treated you better? Something else I could have tried? And I don't have to be the one you dream about. You should know I'm on your side. That's where I've always been._"

By this time, Edward was becoming more and more comfortable playing by focusing on the song and not the crowd. "_It's alright for you to be scared. I'll drive all night or go anywhere. If some day, our stars don't align, we'll go our own ways. You should know I'm always on your side._"

He understood now that after that chorus together, the next verse was his. His smooth voice stood alone as he sang, "_Oh, I don't know where you are, but I know where you've been. You're just a small town girl, you didn't care about nothin'. And I don't know where to start, but I hope that it ends up with you being happy wherever you are. Forever._"

The quiet rang out as all three guitars were silent. Any onlooker would have thought this was rehearsed, but Edward, as a musician, knew better. Sometimes rehearsals didn't matter. All that mattered was feeling the music and doing what felt right. Luckily, Peter and Jasper, and Garrett, too, for that matter, were on the same page as him. In the next breath, Jasper began to play again while Edward raked his fingers through his hair, pulling the bronze locks away from his eyes.

"_I'm not asking for forever and I don't need much of your time,_" Jasper sang.

All three guitars swelled as the pulse on the bongo regained its strength. They sang together, "_It's alright for you to be scared. I'll drive all night or go anywhere. If some day, our stars don't align, we'll go our own ways. You should know I'm always on your side. You should know I'm always on your side._"

"Nicely done, Edward. I wasn't sure you were going to know that song," Peter said while the crowd applauded their efforts.

"Are you kidding me? I'm a big Colton fan. He's so underappreciated," Edward said with a laugh.

"What about Jack Johnson? You know 'All At Once'?" Jasper asked, leaning into the conversation.

Edward drew in a deep breath, steadying himself. He eyed Jasper, wordlessly asking his question.

"You can handle it," Jasper whispered as he mindlessly ran his thumb over the six strings, effectively recapturing the crowd's attention.

Knowing the reason behind the next selection, Edward continued his deep breaths, hoping to relax. He was all too aware, having witnessed the act before, of how Jasper always picked a specific song for Bella. Jasper had explained how Bella didn't like to talk about emotions, but she understood sentiment through music and songs. Without a doubt, Edward knew this song was for Bella. Jack Johnson wasn't a particular favorite of Edward's, due to the repetitive sounds and cliché attitudes, but he couldn't deny some of the brilliant messages that hid behind the laid-back California surfer melodies.

For the first time, Edward scanned the crowd, looking for the brown-haired beauty. His eyes found Alice's form first. She was practically bouncing in her seat from excitement, most likely from Jasper's sudden appearance. Next to her was Bella, looking much less excited. In fact, Edward wondered if Bella was actually asleep. She was leaning sideways with her head resting on Tyler's shoulder while his arms wrapped around her. He was rubbing soothing circles over her shoulder – her shoulder that was still clothed in Edward's jacket. Bella's brown hair was down, free from its ponytail, and strands were hanging over her face, resting on Tyler's chest.

Sensing the next song was about to begin, Bella's eyes shot open and instantly locked with Edward's. He flashed a quick half-smile her way and she responded in a similar fashion and pushed herself up away from Tyler. Once upright, she closed her eyes as her body swayed. She grabbed onto Tyler's arm to help regain her balance.

Edward watched as Tyler held her again and leaned in to ask something he couldn't hear, but the concern was evident on his face. Bella merely nodded and brushed him off, Edward assumed she'd merely insisted she was fine.

He was forced to tear his attention from her as Jasper began to play and sing in the same instant.

"_All at once, the world can't overwhelm me. There's almost nothing you could tell me that could ease my mind._" Jasper's eyes locked on Bella's now, and Edward was the only person in the group to see the wink that was exchanged between the two. Jasper continued to sing as the two remaining guitars began to play matching chords. "_Which way will you run, when it's always all around you? And the feeling lost and found you again, a feeling that we have no control. Around the sun, some say, it's gonna be the new hell, some say. It's still too early to tell, some say. It's really ain't no myth at all. Keep asking ourselves, are we really strong enough? And there're so many things that we got too proud of. We're too proud of. We're too proud of._"

Edward took over the vocals as Jasper threw a nod in his direction. "_I wanna take the preconceived out from underneath your feet. We could shake it off and instead we'll plant some seeds. Watch them as they grow and with each new bead from your heart the roots grow deeper. The branches, will they reach for what? Nobody really knows. But underneath it all, there's this heart all alone._"

As a group, they sang, "_What about when it's gone? And it really won't be so long. Sometimes it feels like a heart is no place to be singing from at all._"

The velvety smoothness of Edward's voice and the roughness of Peter's voice dropped off as Jasper finished the song strong, by himself. "_There's a world we've never seen. There's still hope between the dreams. The weight of it all could blow away with a breeze. If you're waiting on the wind, don't forget to breathe 'cause as the darkness get deeper, we'll sink until we reach for love, at least something we can hold. But I'll reach to you from where time just can't go. What about when it's gone? And it really won't be so long. Sometimes it feels like a heart is no place to be singing from at all._"

His eyes fluttered open as the last of the chord rang out over the sand and water. Jasper immediately looked to Bella, to make sure she'd understood what he was trying to say. Upon meeting her eyes, his heart broke. There, reflected back to him in those chocolate brown eyes, were glistening tears. Silently, he watched as a single tear escaped its confines and made its way down Bella's cheek. However, no one around her noticed. They were all too engrossed in clapping and encouraging the boys to continue. Typically, Jasper always ended these sets with the same song, the song that meant so much to Bella, but he realized she couldn't handle it right now. He couldn't handle it right now, either. Luckily, Jasper was able to look to Edward for help.

"How about you wrap things up for us tonight, Edward?" Jasper asked loud enough for everyone to hear, but his pleading eyes could only be seen by Edward.

Edward nodded and Jasper unhooked the guitar strap and let the instrument fall to rest in its case. He straightened out the shoulders of his jacket, shaking out his arms in the process. As Edward took a moment to decide on a song, Alice made her way over the Jasper. He parted his knees and she settled her small body between his outstretched legs. She made herself comfortable, with her elbows resting on his thighs and her back pressed against her chest. Jasper leaned down and kissed the bit of flesh that was exposed on the side of her neck.

Having made his decision, Edward quickly began to pluck at individual strings with his right hand while his left hand slid across the neck of the guitar. His head was bent over the guitar, hair falling in his eyes, as he bit his head in concentration, watching his left hand move with ease. Immediately recognizing the song, Garrett realized he was no longer needed. He set the bongo down behind him and leaned back to enjoy the performance.

Once Edward looked up and began singing, Peter looked to him for directions. With a shake of his head, and without missing a beat, Edward explained he was on his own for this song. "_And even though the moment passed me by, I still can't turn away. 'Cause all the dreams you never thought you'd lose, get tossed along the way. Letters that you never meant to send get lost and thrown away._"

By the end of the first verse, everyone in the crowd recognized the song. Although the richness of Edward's voice couldn't compare to the huskiness of the original singer's, the song subdued the crowd. It was a perfect ending to the evening – just enough to please the crowd, allowing them to leave without wanting more. Edward lacked the rugged tone and jagged breathing required for an exact replication of the song, but because he was Edward, he held the crowd captivated in the magic.

"_And now we're grown up orphans that never knew their names. We don't belong to no one, that's a shame. You could hide beside me, maybe for awhile. And I won't tell no one your name. I won't tell 'em your name._"

Not once did he open his eyes, not to look at his busy fingers or to look at those watching him, mesmerized. "_Scars are souvenirs you never lose. The past is never far. And did you lose yourself somewhere out there? Did you get to be a star? And don't it make you sad to know that life is more than who we are?_"

His playing grew more frenzied and his volume increased. "_You grew up way too fast and now there's nothing to believe. And reruns all become our history._ _A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio. And I won't tell no one your name. I won't tell 'em your name._"

Fingers running rampant from string to string, fret to fret and thumb dancing across those same strings, Edward drew more music from that single guitar than any of the people present had ever witnessed before. The small interlude was enough to put the spectators in frenzy, wanting, needing, more. Now his singing was little more than heavy breaths and whispers as he finished out the song. "_I think about you all the time, but I don't need the same. It's lonely where you are, come back down. And I won't tell 'em your name._"

Clasping his open palm against the oscillating strings, Edward silenced the music and sang out, "_And I won't tell 'em your name._"

One by one, friends left the beach speechless. No one words could be used to describe the performance they'd all just witnessed. And it wasn't until minutes after his voice had died out that Edward even opened his eyes. He was surprised to find the much-thinned crowd, and then noticed the growing rumbles of engines as they departed La Push and made their way back into town.

With the help of Garrett, Emmett and Rosalie leave the circle to clean up the remains from the party. In the small town, it was impossible to keep these get-togethers unknown, but they'd found that as long as they cleaned up the evidence, they'd never had any trouble. Alice and Jasper were the next to stand, and then Bella, realizing she'd be leaving with Alice.

She's managed to stand half-way up before she faltered and Tyler was quick on his feet to catch her.

"You alright, Bella?" Tyler asked, afraid to let go.

Bella nodded her reply, but then quickly the nods turned into shakes as she sunk into the ground. She groaned, "I'm going to be sick."

"Uhh…" Tyler slowly backed away, knowing he couldn't handle vomit, if that's where this was heading. Thankfully, Jasper and Edward had watched the entire episode and rushed to Bella's side at once.

Her eyes were shut lazily and her head was rolling back onto her neck as Edward struggled to help her regain focus. Bella's body lurched forward at the apparent signs of an impending upheaval. Her eyes opened wide, bloodshot, and her hand flew to mouth.

"Bella!" Alice called, dancing over. "You need to drink some water."

"My drinks right there." Bella's words were almost incoherent as she flung her arm sideways, vaguely motioning to the plastic cup beside her.

"This cup?" Edward asked holding it up.

Bella nodded and reached out to grab it, but Edward pulled it out of her reach, while Jasper supported her weight.

"This is empty, Bella. And I doubt more alcohol is going to help you."

"Ughh, fine," Bella huffed at him, her eyes closing again.

"Bellaaa!" Alice called again, plopping down next to her in the sand.

"Jasper, just get Alice home. I'll take care of Bella," Edward directed.

"But I drove, Edward! What about my car?" Alice whined, sounding childish.

"We can come get it in the morning, Alice," Edward answered, losing his patience.

"You sure, man? Can you handle getting her back alright? She's going to be sick any second." Jasper stood, nonetheless, and then helped Alice to her feet.

"Yea, it's fine. I'll see you guys later." He turned his attention back to Bella, to try coaxing her to her feet.

As Alice danced away towards Jasper's car, her boyfriend said, "Take you time, Edward. Alice and I probably won't head straight back to the house. We're…"

"I don't need details. But that's probably better anyway. I doubt Esme and Carlisle would like it so much if we showed up with a sick Bella. So we might as well give them enough time to be asleep. Just call me when you're going back so we're all at least there together in case they are awake."

With a wave, Jasper took off after his girlfriend. Edward watched him back out of the parking space until the red lights disappeared over a bend in the road.

Bella placed her hands on Edward's shoulders and tried to push herself up; Edward grabbed her waist, trying to support most of her weight as she struggled to her feet.

"I'm fine, Edward. I'm fine." Bella placed her hands on Edward's, removing them from her body. "See, I can walk."

"Bella, maybe you should just take it easy. You're drunk – just sit down for a bit." Edward walked behind her, hands poised to catch her if she stumbled.

She turned around to face him, a smile playing on her lips. "I just stood up too fast. I'm fine, now, really."

Facing away from Edward again, Bella shook her head roughly, hoping to help clear her mind. She was fighting to regain control of her body – the control she'd lost; the control she couldn't afford to lose. She'd promised herself that she wouldn't show weakness, that's she would be strong, and here she was already bending that promise. She could take care of herself; she couldn't rely on others for help. Not when they would only let her down.

Instead of opening the door to the Volvo and sitting inside, Bella leaned against the car's frame and waited as Edward approached her. He stared at her, questioning.

"I heard what Jasper said. And trust me, they're not going to be back for awhile. Unless you've got a better idea, we might as well just hang out here." Her voice betrayed her; it was the one thing she couldn't gain control over. Her words were slurred together but her eyes remained focus and Edward wasn't sure how to interpret the mixed signals.

In the now empty space where Jasper's Jeep had been, Edward sat, resting on the curb and he noticed they were the only ones left at the beach. There were so many things he wanted to say, wanted to ask, but it wasn't appropriate if Bella was drunk. But he didn't want to wait. He settled on a compromise: he'd wait for Bella to speak first and would play it by ear. If it seemed as though she could actually give him the real answers he was looking for, he'd ask, but if not, he'd have to wait until another time. Edward just hoped that another time would present itself soon.

Edward was lost in his own thoughts, staring out at the expanse before him and when he heard the sound of the car door slamming, he was jarred from them.

Bella noticed how she'd startled him. She shrugged, pulling her brown hair behind her shoulders, "Sorry. I'm a little warm for the jacket now."

"Are you sure you're alright?" The warmth she was feeling was because of all the alcohol in her system.

She closed her eyes impatiently and nodded. She ducked her chin, letting her cheek fall to rest on her shoulder. Bella was disappointed in herself – she couldn't even manage to convince one person she was strong enough to take care of herself. Suddenly, she felt the hand under her chin, lifting her face up. She opened her eyes at the last second to see Edward's perfect face staring at hers. Avoiding the concern in his eyes, she looked everywhere but. She focused on his furrowed brow, his high cheekbones, his strong jaw. She focused on his hair, standing on ends and over his forehead. She focused on the fullness of his lips. Her mind wandered, remembering how his soft lips felt on hers.

Placing her hands against Edward's strong chest, Bella drew in a deep breath and looked him in the eye.

"I'm fine, Edward," she whispered. "You don't need to baby me."

It was not lost on Edward how sure her words were – annunciated to perfection. Either Bella had managed to sober herself or she had wicked self-control.

"I'm not babying you, Bella." Edward tucked the hair that had fallen in front of her face behind her ear. "I just want to make sure you're okay."

"You don't need to." If there was one thing he'd learned about the girl standing before him over the last few days, it was that she was stubborn. For a few moments, he'd managed to forget that small detail, but she apparently wasn't going to let that happen.

"But I want to." There was no way she could argue with that.

Bella's body wasn't listening to her mind. She couldn't maintain her control. Her lips were longing to touch Edward's again, and he was saying all the right words. But she couldn't let herself believe them. She simply wanted the pleasure and nothingness his kiss brought her.

Staring into her eyes, Edward tried reading the thoughts that floated through her brown orbs. Much too soon, her eyes were closed and she was shaking her head. Her hands dropped to her sides, but Edward held his strong at her shoulders.

"You don't need to," she repeated.

It was as good a time as any and Edward didn't want to wait any longer. "Can I ask you something, Bella?"

Bella knew what was coming and she couldn't bear to look at him while he asked. She didn't know how she was going to answer.

"Bella." He lifted her chin again, forcing her gaze to meet his.

Her eyes flickered down to his lips when she saw the movement of his tongue tracing over the bright pink against his pale skin. He was preparing himself to say the words. But Bella didn't want to hear it. She didn't want to give him the chance to tell her the kiss was a mistake. She didn't want to give him the chance to think any less of her, to think she wasn't as strong and independent as she was trying to be. She needed to be strong.

So Bella did the only thing she could think to stop the words from coming.

She leaned in to kiss him again, holding his gaze the entire time. When their lips met again and the initial spark of electricity raced through their bodies, Bella watched Edward close his eyes and she followed suit. She wrapped one arm around his neck, pulling him closer, allowing her fingers to run through his hair. Her other hand found its home against his chest, feeling the strong pumping of his heart.

One of Edward's hands fell to Bella's waist, holding her tight against him. The thumb of his left hand traced patterns across his cheek. Lost in the momentum of each other, their tongues danced together for several minutes. When breathing was necessary, Edward pulled away, sucking in air.

"What are you doing?"

"Kissing you. What did you think I was doing?" Her independence had returned along with her wit. Garnering that reaction from Edward had boosted her confidence and she felt strong enough.

"But why?" His hands were still on her face and waist, thumbs tracing matching patterns against her skin.

"You didn't want me to? Could have fooled me," Bella retorted, keeping herself collected. She couldn't allow Edward to know she'd wanted it just as much. She needed to convince herself these feelings were temporary, flighty. She'd only get hurt if she let this continue. She pushed his arms away and went to sit in the same place Edward had been sitting minutes earlier.

"No, Bella," he groaned. This wasn't going as well as he'd hoped. "I mean, God, yes, I wanted you to kiss me. And I wanted to kiss you. That kiss – it was unbelievable."

His fingers traced his lips as he became lost in his newest memory, in the taste of Bella. He forced himself to focus. "But why? I mean, what are we doing?"

Bella shrugged, acting as though this was the least important question in the world. As though this answered didn't matter. She knew he was only asking for her benefit, which was exactly why she couldn't tell him the truth. Nonchalantly, she offered, "Having fun?"

"Having fun?" Edward repeated. Was she really just playing with him? One second he was positive that was all she was doing, but then in the next instant he'd question that deduction again.

"Yea," Bella forced herself to sound confident, to give Edward no way out. What guy would turn down this kind of fun? She walked over to him, smiling, and pulled his face down to her level. "Want to have some more fun?"

He wasted no time in pressing his lips against hers, but because of the large height difference, Edward knew he wouldn't be able to maintain this posture for long. Without losing contact, he swiftly picked Bella up and she wrapped her legs around his torso. Her turned them around and pushed her against the cool window of the Volvo. He leaned into her body, pinning her body against the car with his weight, allowing his hands to freedom to roam. They'd somehow managed to fall into a comfortable pattern in their kisses, each with one hand on the other's neck, holding the other closer, tighter. Edward's free hand floated down Bella's side, down her waist and over her thigh, down her back and over her backside. Rubbing through the material of her jeans, Edward's hand followed the same up and down, over and across pattern.

Her legs tightened around him and her head fell back against the car as Edward's lips moved from Bella's lips to her ear. Quickly, he found the sensitive space just below, kissing, sucking and nipping at the skin. Bella's eyes were closed tight in the pleasure and her fingers repeatedly ran through his hair, unable to get enough of the sensation. Soon she couldn't bear having his lips away from her own and she pulled on his hair, forcing his face away from her neck.

His crazed look met hers as she commanded, "Kiss me."

Their lips crashed together and once again they fell into their comfortable rhythm of exploring each other's mouths. For what seemed liked hours, and which very possibly could have been for neither was aware of the time, they stayed that way, in the comfort of each other.

When Edward's phone began to ring from his pocket, he groaned into Bella's mouth, cursing the interruptions that continued to plague them. The vibrations drove Bella wild and she tightened her grip on Edward. But at the same time, Edward loosened his hold to pull out his phone. Unexpectedly, Bella was falling to her feet. Her head was spinning, dizzy from the lack of air, dizzy from the pleasure, dizzy from the possibilities running rampant in her mind. She sank to the floor, pulling her knees to her chest and tried to calm herself.

She could hear Edward mumbling on the phone and but couldn't focus enough to hear his words. Instead, the sounds surrounding her were getting lost in her mind. Everything jumbled together, getting mixed and matched, nothing making sense.

"Bella. Bella! Are you all right?" Edward's shaking and loud voice brought her back. Edward took in her droopy eyes and even paler than normal demeanor as she looked up at him.

"I don't feel so well," she answered.

"Alright, let's get you home. That was Jasper; they're on their way back now." Edward lifted Bella and placed her in the passenger seat before he ran around to the driver's side.

As soon as he'd made it out of the parking lot, Bella slouched sideways, lying down across the center console with her head resting in Edward's lap. Her eyes were closed and Edward noticed she looked a little green.

"Bella, love, you need to sit up. You'll feel better if you sit up." With one arm, he tried to push her upright. She fell to the other side, resting her forehead against the cool glass of the window. She swiped her hand against the door, struggling to the find the button to lower the window. Noticing, Edward used the controls on his side of the car and as soon as the wind hit Bella's face, she leaned over the side, with her hair whipping behind her.

"Keep your eyes open, Bella," he instructed.

Edward drove slowly through the winding roads, being cautious because the smallest movement might make Bella sick. On the way back to his newest residence, they had to stop once. When Bella called out, pleading him to stop, Edward immediately pulled over and helped Bella out of the car. He supported her as she made her way to lean against a tree and threw up. He held her hair back and rubbed comforting circles over her back. Once she claimed she was okay, he helped her back in the car and they continued to the rest of the drive in a tension-filled silence.

Jasper was just coming out of the house when Edward pulled into the garage. In an instant, he followed them into the garage and was at Bella's side of the car and helped her out while Edward unlocked the door.

"Alice is in her room, asleep and Esme and Carlisle are already sleeping, too. You want help getting her upstairs?" Jasper asked handing Bella off like a baton in a relay race.

"No, I got it. I'm going to bring her to my room so she's farther away from everyone else in case she gets sick again."

Taking in Edward's appearance carefully, Jasper noticed his red lips and disheveled hair.

"What'd y'all do that pass the time?" Jasper asked with a sly grin.

Edward eyed him roughly, "We can talk about that later."

"Alright. But don't think I'll forget," he warned. "I'm just as bad as Alice when it comes to gossip.

Edward groaned, but laughed at the same time. "Thanks, man. For everything."

"Anytime." Jasper left the garage as Edward lowered the door and made his way up the three flights of stairs with Bella.

On the first landing, he realized Bella was only hindering the process by trying to walk on her own. In one swift motion, he scooped her into his arms and cradled her against his chest. In no time at all, Edward was at the door of his room and preparing to set Bella on her feet.

"Bella," he asked, "do you want to go in the bathroom?"

She mumbled an agreeing response as her feet touched the ground. As soon she took her first step, she lost her balance and went crashing against Edward's chest. He helped her walk into the bathroom and set her down in front of the toilet. Her body lurched forward again and Edward quickly raised the seat of the toilet. Bella immediately hunched over the porcelain, emptying the contents of her stomach into the basin.

Repeatedly, she threw up into the toilet until all that was left was spit escaping her lips in the form of dry heaves. The entire time, Edward, unable to abandon her in this time of need, took his place next to her. Just as he had when she threw up on the side of the road, he gathered her hair away from her face and rubbed soothing patterns on her back. He held his breath as Bella held up her wrist, offering him the rubber band to secure her hair.

Unsure of how best to fasten the hairdo, Edward simply pulled the hair through the loop twice, not thinking it mattered much what her hair looked like while she was throwing up. He left Bella's side for a moment, only to wet a washcloth and place in on the back of Bella's neck, in an attempt to cool her body.

During a lull, Bella pushed Edward away.

"I'm okay, Edward. Please, don't watch me throw up. It's gross."

"I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine. You don't need to stay here."

"Bella…" he started to argue.

"Edward, please. Just wait outside." She held off the next wave of nausea until Edward had left and shut the door. She knew that if he saw her throw up again, he would never leave.

Finally feeling calm and settled, Bella stood and went to the sink. She took a new washcloth from the closet and thoroughly washed her face. Unable to tolerate the taste in her mouth, she searched underneath the sink for a new toothbrush. Upon successfully finding one, she proceeded to brush her teeth, using Edward's toothpaste, for longer than the recommended two minutes. As soon as she leaned over to spit into the sink, her stomach churned.

She raced to the toilet, ready for another round of vomit to make its way through her body. Soon, Bella's eyes were drifting shut as she leaned against the cool porcelain.

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**A/N: The title song is "Appreciation and the Bomb" by The Spill Canvas. Then, in the order of the chapter the songs played at the party are: "On Your Side" by Graham Colton, "All At Once" by Jack Johnson and "Name" by Goo Goo Dolls. Hope you all enjoyed it! Let me know what you thought!**


	24. What Fuels the Magic in the Meantime?

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**.**

**A/N: Once again, I'm taking a short break after this chapter due to my crazy schedule. I apologize for all the delays; it's the end of the semester and can't be avoided as I wrap everything up. It'll probably be about two weeks before an update, but after this I've got time off so I'll get the chance to write more frequently without distractions. Enjoy…**

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Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**24 – What Fuels the Magic in the Meantime?**

It was only a few hours later when Bella woke to the cool sensation against her skin. Groggily, she lifted herself from the tile and took in her surroundings as the fresh memories of the night flooded her brain. Stumbling as she moved, she washed her face and brushed teeth, remembering when she had repeated these same tasks only hours before, prior to the second round of nausea overtaking her.

She recalled the party at First Beach as she avoided her reflection in the mirror before her – her first real conversation with Rosalie, their newfound friendship, Lauren's verbal assault, Tyler's defense on her behalf, Emmett's beer pong game, her and Edward's first kiss, the game of skipping rocks with Mike and Tyler, Alice's chase after the boys, Jasper's sudden and unexpected appearance, and, of course, the usual ending from those she would call her favorite boys at the moment. It was an amazing display of emotion that was meant only for her and was lost on everyone else. From Jasper, she expected it every time there was a guitar handy, but Edward – why had Edward? What could he have possibly meant by that display?

And then Bella remembered making out with Edward in the parking lot, against his Volvo with their bodies wrapped around each other. What could she possibly have meant by that?

Boy, were there a ton of mixed signals being thrown around.

And knowing Edward as well as she did at this point, she knew he wasn't going to let this go. She knew he was going to ask her as soon as he got the chance.

Which was why Bella needed to get out of there as fast as she could. Because she didn't have the answers that Edward wanted and she couldn't afford to look so weak while she tried to figure it out in front of him, especially after all the weakness she'd given into that night. But, more than anything else, Bella didn't want to hear Edward's answers to the same questions. Her family had already broken her heart that month and it was enough to last a lifetime. How could she expect someone who'd she met only days before to care for her well-being more than her parents?

Straightening out her clothes, Bella prepared herself. Very quietly she would leave. She would turn off the bathroom light, slowly open the door and walk down the stairs to her room – all without waking Edward. Then, in the morning, she would leave without Edward seeing her. Maybe she'd get a ride from Carlisle on his way to work, or maybe she'd borrow Alice's car. Anyway, she wouldn't give Edward the chance to ask her the questions she wasn't ready for. She wouldn't give Edward the chance to hurt her. She wouldn't let herself be hurt. She would be strong.

And that's exactly what she did. Bella turned off the light and slowly opened the door. Edward's room was dark and she allowed her eyes to become accustomed to the lack of light. Her pupils dilated as she focused on the faint streak of light passing under the door. As she went to take her first step in that direction, she saw it.

Or, more accurately, him. He was on the floor, slumped over, resting against the foot of his bed.

Suddenly, Bella couldn't just leave. She couldn't leave Edward lying on the floor, facing the bathroom, obviously waiting for her exit. He'd fallen asleep on the floor of his room, waiting for her. And she couldn't leave – she couldn't leave him like this.

After a gentle shake of his shoulder, Bella realized he wasn't going to stir and he deserved the sleep, too, after the exhausting night. Squatting to get the best grip on his arms, Bella lifted his all her might. She was hoping that with help in his movements she could lead Edward to bed. She strained against gravity, feeling the ache settling through all her muscles. Regardless of Edward's normally muscular stature that towered over her own and was acting as dead weight now, Bella wasn't able to guide him to his feet. Her body was too weak and dehydrated caused by her purging.

Instead, she settled for pulling a blanket from the foot of the bed and draping it over the shapeless form his body portrayed in the dark. Satisfied in her gesture, Bella continued to make her way to the door and onward to her room. But she only got as far as reaching out to the door handle when Edward stirred.

"Bella," he said with closed eyes.

"I'm right here, Edward," she said turning toward him. She couldn't keep herself from asking, "What are you doing on the floor?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay." His voice was heavy with sleep, his words mumbling together.

"I'm fine, Edward; there's no need to worry. I'm going to my room to sleep. How about you get in bed?" Bella made her way back across the room and to Edward's body on the floor. He hadn't moved in an inch during the entire exchange. His arms, limp against his body and floor, were tucked under the blanket and his legs, from the his knees down, peaked out beneath the covering. Again, Bella tried to help lift him in his sleepy state, hoping to have more luck with his cooperation. This time, he still didn't budge.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay first," he repeated, his lips barely moving as the words escaped.

That's when Bella realized he was still sleeping.

Giving up, she said, "You're too sweet to care about me the way you do."

At the moment, there was no greater truth that Bella understood. Edward did care about her, or at least about her physical well-being. And he really was too sweet to do it. She hadn't given him a single reason, over the course of their friendship, for him to trust her, to care about her. Sure, she'd shared things with him and trusted him with those things, but in the larger scheme, that wasn't what mattered. The trust they had earned from each other didn't count. The only thing that was of any importance was what she had done with that trust.

She'd given him half-way answers to questions she didn't want to answer. And she hadn't even had the decency to be honest in her denial. Deep down, she knew that he would have understood, but still she'd begrudged him that. Last night she'd given in to her self-pity. She'd wanted to feel wanted and Edward had happily, or so it seemed, obliged. Who knew why, and Bella hated her herself for being responsible for that wonder.

There she stood, planning to leave him, after all that he'd already given her. All because she was afraid to answer the questions he deserved to ask. Bella wanted to be strong, but how could she show Edward how strong she was if she ran away?

Bella moved the blanket resting over the back of the couch out of her way. Pulling it over herself, she curled into the comfortable cushions and gave in to the sleep.

After a night broken apart into smaller segments, Bella woke for the last time. The soft, black leather of the couch caressed her skin. Beyond, in the depths of her body, Bella felt hollow. Her muscles were sore and moving on autopilot. Her stomach was in knots and there was a heavy pounding in her head. Sitting up, she glanced around the room in search of a clock for the time. She wasn't sure whether she should really be making the huge effort waking up was requiring. On a normal day, It was hard enough to remove herself from the warmth and comfort of her bed, but after the night she'd had, difficult took on a whole new meaning.

Something was missing.

During her inventory of the room, Bella saw that Edward wasn't there. Figuring that mean it was a decent hour to get up, Bella dragged her feet to the wall-sized window. Draped across the window were dark, heavy drapes made to compliment the room. Bella reached up to find the middle and pulled the two sides apart.

And as soon as the bright sun shined its first bit of light into Edward's third-floor room, Bella scream out in pain, shutting her eyes and turning away from the window.

Edward burst out of the bathroom, clad only in jeans and carrying a towel in his hand.

"What's wrong?"

"The light," she groaned.

Edward laughed, rubbing the towel over his dripping wet locks. Droplets scattered across his chest and his eyes sparkled at the prisms the light reflected in the water.

"Not so loud." Bella was now covering her eyes to prevent even more light from causing pain.

"I figured you might feel that way." Edward threw the towel onto his bed and picked up the glass of water and aspirin sitting on the night table. He handed it to Bella and as she swallowed the pills with shut eyes, he closed the curtains tightly.

The liquid relief automatically calmed Bella's stomach, but still the pounding in her head droned on. All she wanted was to crawl back into bed and sleep the day away, but she didn't think Edward would appreciate it if she claimed his couch as her new bed. Vaguely, Bella wondered how Alice was faring. She'd been drinking last night, too, Bella remembered. Was she in as much pain now?

"I'm going to go track down, Alice." Bella replaced the water glass on the night stand and, for what seemed like the 100th time, straightened her clothes. She was still wearing the same jeans and t-shirt she'd carefully picked out for the party. Some twelve hours later, it had lost the appeal it held to her the previous night. Bella moved to the door, walking carefully with half-lidded eyes.

"Wait a sec, Bella," Edward called out rather quickly as he walked towards her. "I wanted to talk to you."

As Edward made his way toward her, Bella tried to focus entirely, preparing herself for the conversation she'd been expecting all along. She'd made the decision during the night not to leave, which meant she couldn't finagle her way out of it now. She needed to face this head-on to prove, to at least herself, she could be strong. However, once she'd fully opened her brown eyes, they only thing she could focus on was Edward's sculpted torso drawing closer and closer to her. She first took in his hair, darkened with moisture. It was the only time she'd since it not sticking on ends. Instead, it swept across his forehead and hung over his left eye. The damp ends were relinquishing droplet after droplet onto his impeccable facial structure, only enhancing his already prominent cheek and jaw bones.

Bella's eyes followed the path of a water droplet from where it started beneath his bright, green left eye, down his cheek, and dropping from jaw to chest. She stalled once her eyes rested on the smooth, pale skin of Edward's chest. Underneath his clothes, she had always been able to tell that he was muscular and had a nice body, but it her imagination had nothing on the real thing. She took in the trace outline of his pecs and abs all the way to his jutted hipbones, forming a defined "V," and disappearing under the waistband of his jeans. Peeking out from underneath the denim material, was a pair of gray boxer briefs, not helping Bella focus on the matter at hand.

Pink flamed across Bella's cheeks as her eyes returned to Edward's face. A small, half-smile met her gaze and, immediately, pink flamed against her skin.

"Uh…why don't you get dressed first?" she suggested, while trying her hardest to maintain eye contact.

Edward merely nodded and disappeared into the bathroom, which only gave Bella the opportunity to bestow his backside with the same attention she'd given his front.

Without a half-naked Edward in the room, Bella was able to focus her thoughts. Again, the entire evening came flooding back to her mind, specifically her kisses with Edward. She felt so stupid and embarrassed for giving into her desires at those moments at First Beach. She couldn't even imagine what Edward was thinking she had meant – well, she could, but she didn't want to imagine all the possibilities.

She was regretting having stayed around long enough to give Edward the chance to tell her himself. As much as she had enjoyed kissing Edward, it wasn't something that she could let happen again. There was no denying she felt an attraction toward him, but allowing that physical relationship to bloom, was only inviting the emotional relationship to bloom as well. And that would surely lead to a heart broken Bella. She didn't know how many times she could feel her heart bend and break until it was beyond repair.

Bella was better off without the possibility.

Now, the only challenge was convincing Edward it had all been a big mistake and that she didn't mean anything by it. Even though she hadn't meant anything by it at the same and she was merely giving into what she wanted in her altered mental state, Bella understood that there was a reason for it. But Edward couldn't know that, because if it wasn't reciprocated, her heart would break. She wasn't about to let that happen.

Never having had much practice lying, due to the fact that she was rather awful at it, Bella was expecting the worse. She could just picture Edward walking out the bathroom, fully clothed, and calling her out on her crap.

That couldn't happen. She wouldn't let it.

It seemed like hours passed as Bella ran through every possible combination of words to express herself before Edward reappeared. She'd been so focused, that when considering the pounding in her head, it seemed a miracle that she'd even heard she approach.

Her voice caught in her throat as she turned to face him. Thankfully, he was fully clothed, but his beauty still amazed Bella. How had it taken her so long to really appreciate it – to take notice? Drawing in a deep breath, she noticed the sadness behind his beauty, which only made it more breathtaking, and heartbreaking. A person that beautiful should never suffer through such pain and sadness as was apparent in Edward's eyes.

"I know what you want to talk about, Edward," she said quickly, shutting her eyes. Bella knew that once she'd started talking, she wouldn't stop. It was only a few words, she repeated in her mind. Only a few words and then she'd be done. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I –"

"Bella," he interrupted. "You don't need to apologize."

"No, I do. I'm so embarrassed by my behavior last night. I know I can't take back anything I did, but, please know, I never meant to put you in an uncomfortable or awkward situation, Edward. I've really appreciated getting to know you these past few days, and I enjoy being your friend – I would never want to put that at risk. So, please, let me apologize. Last night was a mistake. I was overwhelmed by everything and I let that be my excuse to get drunk. Something I don't do, something I've never done before. And then I just continued to do one stupid thing after another. Please forgive me?"

The entire time Bella spoke, Edward's face remained impassive. During no point in time, did he ever express a hint of emotion. His eyes were guarded as he spoke, "Of course, Bella. Though there's nothing to forgive. Consider it forgotten."

"Thank you," Bella said softly, wiping at a lone tear that threatened to expose itself.

Edward pulled her into a hug, enveloping her in his scent, and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead. He spoke into her hair, "I'll let you go find Alice now."

Without another word, Bella left his room and went straight to Alice, who was still nestled into her own bed. After stepping one foot inside Alice's room, Bella changed her mind and turned around. She continued to the next door on the hall and changed out of her clothes before returning to Alice.

"Scoot over," she commanded as she pulled back the sheets.

"Umphfff." Alice could barely acknowledge her best friend's presence, but nonetheless she moved over on the bed.

Bella crawled in and quickly succumbed to the sleep her body so desperately needed.

While Bella and Alice continued to sleep, Edward sat alone in his room. Not having to worry about Bella's pain any longer, he threw open the curtains and let the sun shine through. Absently, he wandered around his large space. For some time, he stared at the rows of CDs against the one wall. For another length of time, he mindlessly fingered keys on his piano, without sitting down. He straightened his room, sprayed air freshener in the bathroom. All with his mind on Bella, and more specifically, with what went wrong.

He'd wanted to talk to her, but instead she'd done the talking. She'd only let him forgive her for something that didn't need forgiveness. He couldn't understand what was going through her mind. Did she really think it was all just some big mistake? Had she really not meant any of those feelings she'd portrayed through their kisses? Had every word she'd told him been a lie? Had she ever really trusted him?

Had he been wrong to ever trust her?

Edward was sitting on the floor, leaning against his couch with his guitar strap draped over his shoulder. During his senseless activities, he'd dragged the barely-used Fender out of his closet. For awhile, he'd merely sat, idly pulling and pushing his fingers across the strings. But, as time went on and he grew more and more frustrated by his thoughts, he'd began to tune out his constant narration and pull notes out of the air.

Last night, he'd loved the feel of the tension as he plucked string after string, and he'd even made note to remember to write guitar accompaniments to his piano compositions. But, now in the light of day, he realized he'd been foolish. Of course, what could make him so happy at one point, wouldn't last. It never would. His parents and his family hadn't lasted. His original interest in the instrument hadn't lasted.

Bella hadn't lasted.

Giving up writing, giving up being himself and doing what he wanted, he began to work his way through the songs he knew. He vowed to himself, he wouldn't lose interest. Not this time. He wouldn't be to blame for it – not this time.

He was pulled from his self-loathing when he heard a knock on his door. Hoping it was Bella coming back to talk, he shouted a welcome, but was pleasantly surprised to find Jasper walking in.

Jasper had been somewhat helpful the night before. At least he knew what had transpired – well, not all of it, but that could easily be remedied. Maybe he had some advice he could offer, like the insight he'd tried to offer last night that Edward wouldn't listen to.

"What is with y'all today?" Jasper asked sitting on the couch.

"What's with who?"

"All of you." Jasper was so exasperated, he couldn't elaborate.

"I'm going to need you to be more specific if you actually want an answer."

"Everyone in this house! It's noon and you're all just lying around! Bella and Alice are downstairs in her bed – they kicked me out, told me to come back later. They were too busy sleeping to talk to me. And you're sitting here sulking. I never thought I'd say this, but where's Emmett when you need him?" Jasper's head shook as he ranted, but his blonde hair seemed to stay in the perfect position across his forehead.

"I'm not sulking."

"The hell you are. What were you just playing – Dashboard Confessional?" Jasper couldn't help but laugh at Edward's denial. And, somehow, that forced Edward to find the humor in the situation.

"Alright, I'm sulking."

Jasper waited for an explanation but was met with silence.

"You gonna tell me why?" he finally asked.

"I'm sure you can guess," Edward said, handing the guitar to Jasper as he sat at his piano.

"Bella."

It wasn't a question, but still Edward felt the need to confirm. "Yea."

"What happened? I'm guessing you never got to talk to her since she was too busy getting sick all night. So why are you worse off this morning than last night?"

"Well, she wasn't exactly getting sick all night," Edward hated talking about anyone like this. His parents had raised him to be a perfect gentleman and that did not include kissing and telling.

"Shut up! Seriously? When? Please tell me she brushed her teeth first!"

"Really, Jasper? You're as bad as Alice sometimes."

"Tell me something I don't know." He shrugged it off. "Now tell me what happened."

"After you and Alice took off, Bella claimed she was fine. So we were just hanging out, killing time and she kissed me. But then we stopped and I tried to figure out what was going on and she told me we were just having fun. Then she kissed me again."

"Man," Jasper whistled under his breath. "Bella – who would have thought? But I'm not seeing the downside."

"This morning she claimed it was all a mistake and apologized," Edward couldn't escape the pain those words had caused him.

"So what'd you say?"

"That it was okay." When Edward saw the look on his friend's face, he asked, "What?! What was I suppose to say?"

"You were suppose to tell her what you were thinking! That's when you're supposed to say it wasn't a mistake, that you want it to happen again! Wait – what do you think? Was it a mistake or not?" Jasper suddenly remembered that Edward never answered his "friends or more than friends" question.

"I don't know."

"That's not a choice," he pointed out.

"But it's the truth. I really have no idea. But it wasn't what I was expecting. At the time, kissing her just felt right. Say what you will about that, but I don't regret it and I don't think it needs apologizing for. But that doesn't mean I want it to be anymore than what it was – a kiss. How am I suppose to explain that to her?" Edward ran his fingers through his hair before replacing them on the keys before him.

"Maybe just like that?" Jasper offered with a laugh.

"But what if that's not what she wants to hear?"

"Edward, I don't know what to tell you. Either way, nothing's going on. So what does it matter? Just move on."

"I don't know if I can. Trust me, I've tried – all morning. And look where it got me! Sulking, remember?" For some unknown reason, Edward was stuck. He couldn't stop replaying every interaction he'd had with Bella. Playing most often were the most recent, but occasionally, he'd remembered specific things she'd confided in him and wonder why she had.

"You know? I think I might just know what you need," Jasper said, thinking.

"What's that?" Edward asked, bright eyed at the possibility of a remedy.

"Come on! Let's see if we can get Emmett to come along, too."

Jasper wouldn't say where they were going. Edward left a quick note to Alice and Bella since they were now by themselves before following Jasper.

"You'll want a jacket," was the only thing Jasper advised Edward as they climbed into Jasper's Jeep and made their way to Rosalie's house to collect Emmett.

Knowing Emmett would love to partake in the activities, Jasper wasn't worried about interfering in his time with Rosalie. After all, they'd have all next year to themselves at school.

* * *

**The title comes from "Can't Finish What You Started" by Motion City Soundtrack. **


	25. Seems Like Yesterday We Had the World

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: Thanks for staying with me while I retreated into silence. Like I said before, I've got some time off now so I'll be writing much more frequently over the next few weeks. Since I officially started vacation on Friday, I wanted to update then, but found myself having difficulty getting back into the swing of the story. So first off, I apologize if this chapter sounds a bit…off. Maybe a little awkward, stiff. I really tried, but I was a bit more concerned with getting something done than making it perfect (strange for me, I know). But anyway, let me know if it was really horrible and I'll see what can be done to fix it. **

**Sorry to make this go on so long, but just wanted to fill you in on one more thing. In an attempt to ease myself back into the writing after my break, I started a new story. It was only meant to be a one-shot, I hadn't even been planning on posting it, but it turned out to be something I liked and was a bit curious to see where it would go. It's called "Say It Ain't So" and you can find a link of my profile. I'd love it if you all would take the time to read it – the first chapter is up and it's real short – and let me know what you think. **

**Enjoy…**

**

* * *

Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**25 – Seems Like Yesterday We Had the World Our Way**

An hour later, Jasper, Emmett and Edward were making their way along the winding dirt roads as the dense, green forest loomed all around. Approaching the nearly-hairpin turn, the boys slowed into a single file line with Jasper at the head. The fearless leader barely slowed as he raced, kicking up dirt in his dust. Emmett slowed, choosing to regain his speed on the straight away, hoping to jump ahead of Jasper then. Edward brought up the rear, slowing considerably as he turned the corner.

A few minutes later, Edward slowed to a stop just a few feet away from the others.

"Took you long enough," Emmett complained. He'd climbed off his bike and was now setting his helmet on the seat. He turned to Jasper, "So what'd you say to The General that he let us take his babies by ourselves today?"

"The General?" Edward interrupted, removing his jacket.

"My dad," Jasper explained. He said to Emmett, "Well, seeing as I just sprung this outing on him this morning, he couldn't really get out work. Trust me, if he could have, he would, but he's already missing all next week."

"Yea, Alice mentioned that. You've got the place to yourself. We gonna rage?" Emmett asked as he took a seat on top of one of the picnic tables.

"No, Emmett, we are not going to rage."

"Oh, come on! Why not?" Emmett pouted.

"Because last time you convinced me to rage, one of the new deputies showed up and told Chief Swan that he'd seen Bella. And then she couldn't hang out with us for a month. Remember?"

"But that wasn't my fault! What was I suppose to do? Go to the police station during his training and explain that it was an unspoken rule to never tell Chief Swan what really goes on in this town?"

Jasper drew in a deep breath, calming himself. "Emmett, it doesn't matter. Answer's still no. No raging."

"Fine, but we're all still coming over this weekend."

"Of course, you are. I just don't want to have to keep track of the rest of our high school."

Triumphantly, Emmett pumped his fists in the air and let out a loud whoop which echoed throughout the mountainous forest around them.

"Do I even want to know what happened last time?" Edward asked.

"Definitely not. But it is the reason we always go to First Beach now."

Edward nodded in understanding and walked around the picnic area. "So where are we?"

"In the black hole of cell phone service," Emmett complained as he shoved his phone back into his pocket and lay back onto the wooden table.

"Ignore him," Jasper instructed Edward as he punched Emmett's arm as he passed. He made his way over to Edward who was leaning against the rickety fence, staring down into the gorge. "We're actually in La Push."

"The reservation?" Edward asked, confused.

"I know, hard to believe, right? There's actually a lot more to it than just First Beach. The General – my dad showed me this place when I turned sixteen…"

"After he bought a new Ducati," Emmett interrupted.

After a quick sweep of the bikes present, Edward realized there was a fourth missing. His eyes bulged at Jasper for confirmation.

"Yea, he bought himself a present for my birthday. I got his old one," Jasper's eyes flashed to the vehicle he'd been riding only minutes before. "The other two he'd had for years and needed fixing up."

"And then The General made a habit of taking us out here to ride. Blah, blah, blah….thanks for the history lesson, Jasper. Moral of the story: never before have Jasper and I been able to go out by ourselves. And I'm not buying that lame work excuse, The General would have figured something out.

Choosing to ignore Emmett entirely, Jasper continued. "Anyway, after I turned sixteen, my dad made a point of taking me out here. He was so excited that he finally had someone to share his bikes, and this place, with. His father had been in the military, stationed somewhere near here and one year, after he'd retired, he brought my dad and showed him this place. Call it Whitlock family history, or whatever, I just know that everything makes so much more sense when I'm here. I thought maybe it would work like that for you, too."

Jasper had spoken softly so only Edward could hear, but it didn't matter as Emmett as already engrossed in his next activity: climbing a tree.

Appreciative of the low volume and the gesture, Edward thanked his new friend before they retreated into companionable silence. With a pat on the back after a few moments, Jasper made his way over to Emmett and left Edward with his thoughts.

Looking straight into the gorge below, Edward was almost nervous about the unsteady fencing. It was only serving as a warning; there was no way the sagging wood would protect anyone from plummeting to their death. Both steep sides of the gorge were overloaded with lush green trees but moss-riddled boulders were visible every so often. No one would survive the fall. At the bottom, a river ran its course, weaving in between the trees. The volume of the rushing water was quieted from his altitude, but behind him Edward could hear the faint sounds of waterfall.

Jasper was right; this place did have a calming effect on Edward. His mind was put to ease. The natural beauty encompassing him only pushed him to believe that everything happened for a reason. Not that he was taking his parents' deaths easily, but he could no longer muster the strength to fight against it. He'd only wear himself out. Nothing could be to done to change the past; he could only mend his future.

Edward couldn't bring his parents back, no matter how much he wished he could. All that was left was his faith in knowing that, one day, things would make sense. Just like the forest all around him, it didn't happen over night. This beauty was the result of time. The serenity and glory would come with time.

Nature just had to take its course.

"Come on, let's ride!" he yelled as he pushed away from the fence.

In one swift movement and a holler, Emmett jumped out of the tree, landing perfectly next to his bike. His helmet was on and he'd kicked started the bike before Jasper even had the chance to react.

Laughing merrily, Jasper and Edward followed his lead, taking off the way they had come. They took a left turn instead of returning to the right when they hit the paved road and Edward kept his focus on his surroundings, trying to place himself. There was something oddly familiar about this road.

Several miles passed as the boys weaved around one another, each trying to gain the lead. Anytime Edward pulled out in front, he repeatedly checked behind him to make sure he didn't miss the turn and lose his friends. After rounding a corner, suddenly houses loomed ahead. Edward slowed allowing Jasper and Emmett to lead the way. When they were about a mile from the first house, their speed slowed dramatically and they did their best to quiet the vehicles as they turned, opposite of the house, onto another dirt path. It wasn't until the second turn that forest surrounded them and they increased their speed again.

For the next twenty minutes, Edward completely lost himself in the feeling of the speed and wind. They were kicking up so much dirt that he could barely make out the bikes in front of him. He had no idea were they were; he was merely following the winds of the road. It felt as though they were completely a large circle, but he couldn't be sure for there had been just as many loops to the left as there were to the right.

Clearing yet another turn, Edward saw Emmett and Jasper stopped ahead. He pulled up next to them and removed his helmet.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"This road's going to lead us back to the village, but we'll come out further than we started. And technically, we're not supposed to ride through here, so we have to be discrete." Jasper gave Emmett a pointed look.

"What? I can be discrete," Emmett defended, looking offended.

"That's what you say every time. And every time we get caught."

"What happens when you get caught?" Edward asked.

"Well, it all depends on who sees us. But, like Emmett said before, my dad's always with us, and he usually takes his way out of it. It really isn't a big deal, nothing to worry about. It just makes life a lot easier if no one realizes we're here," Jasper explained.

"Alright, let's go then." Edward pushed his hair out of his eyes and pulled the helmet back over before motioning for Jasper to take the lead.

Mirroring their earlier actions, Emmett and Edward followed behind, maintaining a slow speed as they approached the fork in the road. They veered to the left, completing one full turn around the trail and Edward watched as they passed the familiar surroundings. He looked ahead and saw Jasper's brake lights flash on. Emmett muttered something under his breath as he braked.

Confused, Edward followed suite and stopped between his two friends.

"Shit," Emmett muttered again as he climbed off the bike and threw his helmet on the seat. "You've got to be freakin' kidding me!"

Pulling his own helmet off, Edward went after Emmett to figure out what's wrong. He looked to Jasper, "What's going on?"

Jasper nodded his head toward the entrance to the trail. Where the dirt met asphalt, five imposing shadows mingled with the trees. The bodies eclipsed the late afternoon sun and it was impossible to see any details of their silhouettes. At the front of the pack, the largest moved forward, flanked by another. Off to the side and slightly behind the pair, a trio moved forward as well, but less stiffly. Edward watched as the three exchanged glances with each other while the other two stared straight ahead.

"What's going on?" Edward repeated. "Who are they?"

"The Quileute pack," Emmett answered, as he stalked towards them.

"Who?" Edward asked. When it became clear that neither was going to answer him, Edward fell into step behind them. Both had looks of pure annoyance on their faces and Emmett's entire body was tense with anticipation of a fight.

With a respectable distance between the groups, everyone stopped moving. For a few moments they all just stared, sizing each other up. Edward expected the largest, the obvious leader, to speak first and was surprised when it was the smaller one to the right of the leader who broke the silence.

"I thought we told not to ride out here."

"I thought you didn't have any say in that decision," Emmett threw back quickly, his dislike seeping into every word.

"Doesn't make it any less true." The anger was boiling in his veins, which were popping out on the side of his neck. His fists with clenched and his body was almost shaking with fury.

"Calm down, Paul," the leader spoke. Immediately, his sidekick took a step back and drew in a deep breath. The excess blood drained from his face, no longer flushing his russet skin.

Their voices were so dissimilar, yet their appearances almost identical. Aside from size, all of them looked alike: tall, muscular bodies covered with dark skin and buzzed dark hair.

"Jasper," the leader said, turning his focus on the intruders again.

"We're on our way, Sam. Didn't mean to be a bother," Jasper tried soothing. Typically, his charismatic personality could ease any tension in any situation, but it didn't appear that Jasper would be able to talk his way out of this one.

"We've told you before. We've told your father before. You've chosen not to listen. You are not allowed to ride on this land." Sam spoke with such authority that Edward almost wanted to simply apologize and leave. Another part of him recognized how demanding his voice also sounded, as though he was demanding respect and not earning it.

"Sam," another called from the second group. He moved forward from the back group and placed a hand on Sam's shoulder. "They're just leaving. No big deal."

"Jacob," Sam spoke, turning to glare. They were eye to eye as they faced each other and it was hard to tell who was the larger of the two.

Edward couldn't help himself from comparing the obvious differences. Among any of the group, these were the two with the least in common and the two that appeared to fighting for power. On the right, Sam looked tired, bored of this routine. Compared to his peer, his eyes lacked a certain sparkle. Sam's forehead was creased in worry and his eyes threatening as he glowered at the other. In turn, the other, obviously younger, was merely challenging. There was nothing angry about his stare, functioning as a warning. A small smirk played on his lips and the creases at his eyes showed he enjoyed a good laugh.

Finally, Sam receded, motioning for his younger to take over. As he turned back toward Jasper, Emmett and Edward, Edward was shocked at the youth that echoed in his features. Despite his intimidating size, his face still reflected boyish charm.

He walked forward with his hand out toward Jasper. Begrudgingly, Jasper took it in his own and greeted, "Jacob."

"Jasper," Jacob said in a low voice. "Ignore, Sam. You know how he likes a good power trip."

"He doesn't make it so easy to ignore."

Jacob ignored this comment and first turned to shake Emmett's hand before directing his attention to Edward. "I'm Jacob. Edward, I'm guessing?"

"You guess correctly," Edward said taking his hand with a smile. Jacob seemed friendly enough, but judging by Jasper and Emmett's disapproval, he understood there must be more to him. "May I ask how you know who I am?"

Jacob laughed heartily before explaining. "Bella told me you were coming to live with the Cullen's, so I just assumed, seeing as it's a small town and I didn't recognize you."

"Bella told you?" Jasper inserted, moving to Edward's side.

"Got a problem with that, Whitlock?" Jacob asked.

"No, no problem. Just didn't realize you were friends," Jasper explained, nonchalantly.

"We are," he answered simply. Jacob could see Jasper and Emmett's obvious disapproval of the relationship and for a moment debated informing them of their cliff-diving plans for the following week, but then decided against it.

"Like we said, we're out on our way," Emmett said as he grabbed Edward's arm, pulling him toward the bikes.

"Hey," Paul called out. They turned around to see him still by Sam's side. "One of these times, we're not going to be so nice."

"Like he has any control over that," Emmett muttered to his friends, laughing.

"What did you say?" Paul yelled as he started to move forward.

Emmett merely turned around to glare at Paul as he climbed onto his bike. Sam was walking away while the two who had been flanking Jacob pulled Sam back towards the road. Jacob was still standing there, in the middle of the dirt path, with a half smirk on his face. He moved to the side of the road and held a hand up in a wave as Emmett, Jasper and Edward raced past them on their way home.

-

Earlier that morning, or rather that afternoon, it had taken Esme Cullen much rousing to awake her daughter and Bella from their stupor.

"Up! Up! Up! It's already 1:30! Time to get up!" Esme shouted as she pulled open the curtains and shook the bed cover over the girls' bodies.

"Mom…" Alice groaned.

"Don't 'Mom' me! It's time to get up! We've got things to do!" Esme had now moved onto picking up the dirty laundry on the floor of the room.

Alice turned over, intrigued by her mother's words. "What are we doing?"

"We need to plan for Edward's birthday this weekend."

Alice pushed the sheets off her and jumped out of the bed. She leaned over and shook Bella's shoulder. She sang out, "Come on, Bella! Time to wake up!"

"Go away, Alice. Let me sleep." Bella rolled over pulled the sheets around her tighter as Esme laughed, leaving the room.

"No, Bella! You've got to get up!"

Esme walked back into the room, now with Emmett's dirty clothes in her hands. "You girls were out awfully late last night. If you have this much trouble getting up in the morning after a night out, Carlisle and I are going to have to think about setting a curfew."

"I'm up, I'm up, I'm up," Bella groaned as she pushed the sheets down and forced her eyes open. She knew it was bad when someone other than your own parents were threatening to set a curfew for you. She groaned again, this time thinking of the impossibility of her parents acting like parents and she realized she was glad to have Esme and Carlisle in her life. She wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that relationship – even if it meant dragging herself out of bed. "I'm going to go take a shower."

"Me, too!" Alice chirped as she ran into her own bathroom. She called out after Bella, "Meet you downstairs!"

Once Alice and Bella had showered and dressed, they reconvened with Esme in the kitchen. Being the knowing mother that she was, she'd taken the opportunity to put together a lunch full of sandwiches and fruit while the girls had been getting ready. Just as they were shifting out of lunch mode and into party planning mode, Carlisle walked into the kitchen from his office.

"Ladies," he said with a smile as he poured a glass of water.

"Hi, daddy!" Alice said, jumping out her seat to place a kiss on his cheek.

"Oh, you're just in time, Carlisle," Esme gushed. "We're going to plan something for Edward's birthday this weekend."

Carlisle took a seat at the table, pulling the fruit bowl towards him. "What did you have in mind?"

"I thought something simple would be best. Maybe just dinner out – we could take him to Seattle for the weekend," Esme suggested.

"I've actually got a conference in Seattle on Sunday, so that might work out perfectly," Carlisle thought aloud.

"We could bring all the kids out, too," Esme offered.

"Yea!" Alice shouted. "We can head out on Friday for dinner that night to celebrate then have Saturday to explore the city and then come home on Sunday!"

Carlisle laughed at his daughter's excited reaction. "What do you say, Bella?"

Bella smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear. "You don't have you include me. It's a family celebration."

"Nonsense, dear," Esme said as she began clearing the plates and pulling the fruit bowl away from her husband. "How many times do we have to tell you, you're just as much a part of this family as anyone else?"

Alice threw a 'I told you so' look across the table to Bella who just grimaced.

"No, really, it's okay. I'm not sure Charlie would be too keen on me the idea of me spending even more time away from home." She followed Esme into the kitchen to help with the dishes.

"Sit, Bella. I can handle this."

"And I can handle Charlie. I'm sure he'll understand that you're in good hands. In fact, I've got the rest of the afternoon off. How about I give you a ride back home whenever you're ready and I'll talk to your dad then? And Esme, you'll get the reservations together?"

"Of course. I'll take care of it first thing. Alice, could you check with Jasper and Rosalie – make sure they're okay to come? Tell them we'll take care of all the expenses, we'd love to have you're their company."

"Can I plan Saturday?" Alice was nearly bouncing out of her seat at all the possibilities before her.

"Well, do we think we should tell Edward?" Carlisle asked.

"Maybe there's something he'd like to do on Saturday?" Esme thought.

"Let's ask him tonight at dinner!" Alice exclaimed. "Just promise me we'll have a little bit of time to go shopping in Seattle! There's so many more stores there!"

Carlisle leaned down and placed a kiss on his daughter's head. Sarcastically, he said, "Of course, sweetheart, We wouldn't dare go there and not let you shop."

Alice squealed with joy and Bella groaned.

"I think it's time I head home now. Is it an alright time?" Bella asked the doctor.

"Let me just grab my keys."

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**A/N: Chapter title comes from the song "Sun" by Mae.**


	26. This Delicate Balance

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: Not my best work, last chapter. So here's to improving! Thanks for all the kind words and the welcomes. You all are the greatest! Enjoy…**

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**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**26 – This Delicate Balance**

Once again, it was a lively affair in the Black household for dinner that night. Everyone was in high spirits, at least on the outside.

"How 'bout you go with Jake to the garage to grab some more beer?" Billy suggested to Charlie, who disappeared out the back door trailing behind the mammoth-sized boy.

Everyone laughed as they watched Jacob remind Charlie to duck through the door, only to realize he was the only one in that particular dangerous situation. Harry was in the kitchen with Sue, preparing his well-loved fish fry.

"Seth and Leah not going to make it tonight?" Bella asked as she watched Harry and Sue perform their perfected dance in the kitchen.

"Not tonight, dear," Sue apologized, turning around. "They're off to who knows where."

"Come on, Bella," Billy said, wheeling over to her. "Let's make sure everything's set at the table."

Bella knew the look in Billy's eyes well: he had something he wanted to say. But, whatever it was, he didn't want to share in front of his friends. He certainly wasted no time in getting to his point once they were out of earshot. There was so much sizzling coming from the frying pan, Bella was sure Sue and Harry wouldn't have noticed if a tornado flew by outside, let alone a quiet conversation behind their backs.

"I'm glad you make it tonight, Bella. It means a lot to your dad." Billy didn't even keep the act of setting the table up. He turned around in his wheelchair to face Bella and motioned to her to take a seat in front of him.

She shook her head and began to set the table, avoiding eye contact. It made her uncomfortable to deny Billy; he had such an authoritative presence that it seemed wrong to do so.

"It's good that you've gone home," he said, stating a fact, not opinion. "Good for both of you. But I'm worried about Charlie, Bella. This isn't his fault and you should know that – I hope you realize that."

His words caused Bella's head to snap in his direction. He spoke so earnestly, his voice was so heartfelt. He was truly worried and Bella couldn't remember the last time that she'd seen the older man express such concern. Generally, he was stoic in his emotions, never letting anything get the best of him. But tonight, he spoke honestly and openly with Bella, hoping to convince her.

Still, she remained silent and let him continue.

"The only reason I won't say more is because of the respect I have for your father. He knows me too well, he's my oldest friend, and he knows my meddling nature. I call it protectiveness – I protect and look out for those I care about most. But he's asked me not to divulge the information to you, so I won't. But, Bella, there are things you should know. Things your mother, and father, are willing to tell you. But they won't tell you until you're ready."

Bella's throat had long run dry and she croaked out her words, accusingly, hating the insinuations. "What do you expect me to do, Billy?"

"I don't mean to upset you, Bella. I just want to warn about placing blame without all the information. This is tragic situation and I'm very sorry your family is longer together, but there are things you need to know."

"What things?" Bella asked, adamantly.

"That I can't say," Billy dropped his chin to his chest, offering an apology. Under any normal circumstances, he would tell Bella the truth, but he'd made a promise to Charlie. And keeping his word meant more than anything.

Defeated, Bella pushed her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ears. Silently, she continued setting the table, failing to clear her head. When she finished, she turned, without another look at Billy, who hadn't moved this whole time, to walk back to the kitchen.

"Bella," he called out, voice still a whisper.

She turned, expectantly. Before her sat a tribal elder, sage wisdom seeming to seep out of his every pore, would he render the secrets of life to her? She hoped. She thought it would make things easier. What did it mean – that there was information she needed to know? Information she needed before she could place blame?

Now, she placed the blame on everyone, because it was just as much her fault as it was Charlie's, as it was Renee's. None of them would escape this unscathed.

"They won't tell you until you're ready," Billy repeated and rolled past her. By the time he'd made it back to the kitchen, he'd shed his Chief persona and Bella could hear him laughing amongst his friends.

Bella was glued to the spot. Billy's words echoed in her mind as she searched for the wisdom, the underlying meaning. After a few fruitless minutes, Jacob wandered over to Bella, shaking her shoulder gently to pull her out of her self-induced haze.

"You alright, Bells?" he asked, smiling brilliantly.

"Huh? What?" she asked, brushing her hands over her face to gather her bearings. "Yea, yea. I'm fine."

She flashed a sarcastic smile, hoping put her friend at ease, but only succeeding in worrying him.

"Bella," he groaned, grabbing both her shoulders. "We're friends, right?"

Nodding in agreement, she waited for him to continue.

"You can talk to me." He was met by a blank stare. "You know that, right?"

"Jake, I'm fine. Nothing to talk about," she said, adding a laugh for good measure. Lying had never been her strong suit, but she felt comfortable in her deception. At the very least, it put her at ease – her lying. She was protecting herself.

"Suit yourself," he muttered and pulled her into the kitchen, where the dinner party was in full swing.

Harry and Sue had finished the fish fry and were now expertly pilling each dish high with food.

"Let's eat!" Harry exclaimed as soon as the last dishes were in place.

The entire event was meant to revive Charlie and whereas no one had admitted it aloud, aside from Billy and Harry, who'd done all the planning, everyone knew. Over past tumultuous week, Charlie had buried himself in his work. His wife was gone and he hadn't had Bella to come home to. He was suffering silently and didn't want to be trapped in a house full of hollowed memories. Instead, he'd spent his time at the station, even spending time in neighboring counties to help, when need or unneeded.

Billy and Harry missed their friend and, being men, didn't know how to go about making things better. They contrived the idea for this dinner party, combing their favorite things, but at the moment the only item from that list that had made an appearance was Harry's fish-fry.

"Mind I turn on ESPN?" Charlie asked, breaking the silence.

Eyes shifted around the table and they all broke into laughter. As Jacob moved to the television to a more visible location, the awkward tension passed. He reclaimed his seat next to Bella. She was the only one not focused on the announcers, even Sue looked intrigued, and Jacob took advantage of the quasi-privacy to talk to Bella more.

"We still on for cliff-diving next week?" he asked, leaning over to speak softly. He didn't want to attract unwanted attention.

"I don't know about cliff-diving, but, sure, we can hang out next week." Bella looked tired as she placed fish and vegetables in her mouth to chew.

"What? You nervous about cliff-diving?" Jacob teased.

"I'm not nervous. I don't even know what it is," she defended.

"Then why are you saying no?"

"Fine," she conceded. "Cliff-diving it is. But I'm not actually promising to jump."

"Works for me." Again, he flashed his brilliant smile and Bella was thankful to have Jacob in her life. He expressed his concern for her, but never pushed her when she didn't want to talk. Most importantly, he distracted when she needed a break from her overdriven brain. She could always count on him to shed light on any situation. "Embry and Quil are going to be so excited at even the possibility of you cliff-diving. I doubt you'll even be able to say 'no' after they try charming you."

"Seriously?" Bella groaned. "Can't you tell them not to come? I don't want an audience."

"You aren't inviting your friends. I told you to have them all come. It's way more entertaining when there are a lot of us." He hesitated for a moment before continuing. "Besides, I want to meet your friends."

Bella could barely decipher Jacob's last sentence. She wasn't sure whether it was from the lack of volume or the fact that he'd spoken so quickly, and muttered, but whatever it was, she had no idea what he'd said. But she had an idea.

"Excuse me?" she asked, innocently. "You want to what?"

"Nothing," he grumbled, shoveling food in his mouth.

"No, Jake, really. I just didn't hear what you said."

"Liar," he called her out, yet, he repeated, annunciating every word, "I said I want to meet you friends."

"My friends? Why?"

"Because they're your friends. And I'm your friend. What? You don't want me to meet your friends?" he asked, trying to draw the attention off himself.

"Jake," Bella hesitated.

"I just thought it'd be a nice way for us all to hang out. I like spending time with you, Bella. You know that. And you like spending time with me, too, hopefully. You like spending time with them, too. This way you can hang out with all your favorite people together."

"Jake." This time there was no hesitation, only concern.

"What, Bella?" Jacob knew what she was thinking, and if he could be granted any wish, it would be for her to no longer think this way.

"You know how I feel, Jake." Her words were an apology.

"And you know how I feel. And that's it. End of story." He turned back to his plate and they resumed silence.

But it didn't last for long. Jacob set his fork done abruptly; his plate was empty. Looking around the table, the adults had all finished their meals and were engrossed in the start of the game. Jacob made his excuses and started clearing the table. With one meaningful glance from Jacob, Bella jumped up and began to help. Once they were in the kitchen, Bella started wrapping up the extra food and putting into the refrigerator. Jacob just sat on the counter, watching her work.

Eventually, she got sick of the tension. "What is it?"

"I ran into some friends of yours today."

"You ran into friends of mine? What friends? Where?" He must be mistaken, she thought. Who could he have seen, and didn't he spend the day on the reservation, getting ready for tonight?

"Emmet and Jasper. The new kid, too." The coldness in his voice was not lost on Bella.

"Edward?" she asked.

Jacob nodded.

"You saw Edward today?" she asked again.

"Yes. I saw Edward and Emmett and Jasper today," he explained.

"Where?" Bella was drying her hands on a dishtowel, no longer able to concentrate during this conversation.

Jacob shrugged. "In the forest in La Push. They were riding again."

"You didn't say anything to them, did you?" Bella knew well of Jasper and Emmett, and The General's, love for motorcycles and the outdoors and she also knew well of the tribe's territorial nature when it came to their land and space.

"I didn't want to," he said, holding his hands up in innocence. "I tried convincing Sam to just let it go. And he would have listened to me had it not been for Paul. Seriously, one day, I'm just going to kick that kid's ass."

Bella stared at him, eyes wide.

"Sorry. I'm going to kick his butt," he amended, earning a laugh from Bella.

"So what happened?" Had something truly awful transpired, Alice would have called Bella. Even though no one else knew of her friendship with Jacob, Emmett and Jasper would have been annoyed enough about running into the Quileute pack to let it slip out. But what about Edward? What did he think of the entire situation? Had Jasper or Emmett explained anything to them? Oh no, Bella thought, had Jacob said something to them about her?

"Nothing really. Paul was stoked to see them without Jasper's dad around and wanted to give them a hard time. I tried to convince Sam otherwise, but once Paul had suggested it…Sam acts as though he's got a reputation to uphold. I don't really understand it, but he likes the control over the rest of us, as self-appointed leader." He stressed the 'self-appointed.'

"So nothing happened? Then what was the point?" Bella asked, concerned. She couldn't help but feel as though Jacob were leaving a critical part of the story out.

"To get a rise out them. And it nearly worked, until I stepped him."

"What a hero," Bella said, smacking his arm and jumping up to sit next to him on the counter.

"Hey! I saved one of them from a broken nose, but I'm not sure which one. If it was Paul, then I deserve the chance to punch him."

"What aren't you telling me?" Bella couldn't put up with anymore of Jacob's story telling. When the outcome of the tale was abstract and she had no stock in reality, she didn't mind his verbose nature, but now, he was treading thin ice. "What'd you say about me?"

"How'd you know I said something about you? Did you know?" he asked.

"You said it yourself, Jake. We're friends. I know you, which means you probably felt the need to do some name dropping."

Jacob decided to come right out and ask Bella instead of dance around the issue like he'd been doing all night. "Why didn't they know we were friends?"

For a moment, Bella was stunned silent. It was a legitimate question. And it wasn't that she was keeping their friendship a secret, she just hadn't had the opportunity to share it.

"It's okay, Bells. You don't have to answer." He looked so dejected; it nearly broke Bella's heart, knowing she'd been the cause of that sadness.

Quickly, she corrected. "No, Jake, that's not it."

Placing her hand on his warm arm, she waited until he looked at her. "It just never came up. Alice knows we're friends. In fact, Alice is dying to meet you. The only reason you haven't is because I'm trying to save you. She's a lot to put up with."

Jacob gave a half-hearted smile that was no one where the shining sun Bella was used to taking residence across his russet skin. She continued.

"The Cullen's were on vacation this past month, which is why you could never get rid of me." Thinking about how her words sounded she revised, "Not that I was only hanging out with you because I didn't have anything else to do. Really, I loved every minute we spent together. But had they been home, Alice wouldn't have let me out of her sight much."

"It's okay, Bella. I know what you meant," he said, full smile in tow. "So you loved every minute we spent together?"

A blush invaded her cheeks as she recalled her words. "Shut up. Your ego's big enough as it is, Mr. Hero."

"Ouch," he said, feigning hurt.

"I'm sorry, Jake," Bella knew her first apology wasn't enough. Jacob deserved more than a half-way explanation. As much as she wanted to avoid certain subjects, she couldn't bring herself to hurt Jacob's feelings. "Alice came home the same day I saw my mom in the kitchen. I immediately went to the Cullen's and have stayed there every night since. The first few days, I didn't even leave my room. I just…couldn't face anything."

"You didn't answer my calls? And you didn't call me back?" He wasn't hurt, he understood what she was saying, but he still wanted to know more, to understand more.

"I know. I just couldn't. I knew you'd know and you'd try to cheer me up and…I didn't want to be cheered up. I couldn't pretend like nothing had happened. I needed to wallow in it."

"And now?" Leave it to Jacob to ask the right questions.

"Now? I'm not wallowing," she offered with a shy smile.

"Bella, really? Are you doing okay?" He didn't want to push it, but he couldn't drop it if she wasn't okay.

"I'm getting there."

It was the only answer she could give without lying. And Jacob, being the good, intuitive friend that he was, accepted it knowing it wasn't the full truth. He'd made his feelings for Bella clear, on multiple occasions. He had to believe she understood he'd do anything for her and that he only wanted to see her happy. He knew you could only help a person who wanted help. It was Bella's turn to ask for the help he was offering.

-

In an effort to put Billy, who would stop by the Swan residence several times over the next few days, at ease, Bella did what she could to ready herself. She could only assume that was the hidden meaning behind the words. It wasn't even all that hidden. She didn't know what the truth was but she had to believe she'd be better off knowing.

The truth sets a person free, right?

What about ignorance is bliss?

Over the course of the week, Bella had a lot of time to ready herself. Charlie was still working just as much, although he did make an effort to be home, but things were still stilted between father and daughter. By weeks' end, Bella vowed to fix their relationship. She tried, unsuccessfully, to talk to Charlie on more than one occasion. However, he'd followed her previous wishes and avoided bringing up Renee to Bella. She knew that if she wanted to talk to her father about it, she'd need to name the culprit first. And that was definitely something, Bella was not ready for.

Alice, and the rest of the Cullen's, was in full preparation mode, which meant the two best friends rarely saw each other. On occasion, Bella would accompany Alice to one of the few stores in town to accumulate all the needs to the road trip. Carlisle and Esme were going to be driving separately because they would be leaving later on Sunday than the rest due to the conference, but the other six would not fit in any of their cars. Carlisle had debated renting a car, but all of the teenagers were too young. Thus it was decided that three cars, total, would be making the trip, Jasper and Edward as the other drivers.

With Alice busy, both Jasper and Bella found themselves with time on their hands. Together they would walk through the woods, not getting lost, and or just hang out. Often, Jasper and Bella would find themselves in Bella's backyard, silent as Jasper strummed song after song on his guitar and Bella was lost in thought.

"What's got you so worked up?" Jasper asked as he played the final chords of a song.

"The more accurate question would be what doesn't have me so worked up." Bella was stretched out on the grass in her backyard, wearing shorts and a tank top in the warm weather, enjoying the warmth the sun's rays provided her.

"Alright," Jasper spoke, his Southern drawl, stretching the word. "What doesn't have you so worked up?"

"Shut up," Bella teased as she threw a twig at Jasper.

"Hey! Watch out for my baby here!" He ran a hand across the shiny surface of his guitar.

Bella rolled her eyes and started in on her list of problems. There was actually only one she could speak to Jasper about, so that's where she started. "I don't know what to get Edward for his birthday."

"Join the club. I have no idea. But, knowing, Alice, she'll have both of us covered," he said with a wink. Times like these, he appreciated his girlfriend's obsessive nature. There were definitely other times, though, that he did not.

"I know, but still. I feel like I need to get him something special," Bella muttered, mostly to herself.

"Something special?" Jasper asked, raising his eyebrows.

Bella's cheeks flooded pink when she realized Jasper had heard her. "I just mean, we're close – he's done a lot for me. I want to get something that will mean something to him, to show my appreciation, to make it up to him."

"Make what up to him?"

"His birthday."

"What about his birthday? Why would you need to make something up to him?" Jasper took off his sunglasses to see Bella better. Whatever she was about to reveal, he knew it was important.

Bella sighed, letting out a deep breath. Sadly, she said, "His parents were going to take him to New York for his birthday. To Carnegie Hall. The trip meant the world to him."

"Oh, man. I knew this weekend was going to be tough for him, but I didn't think it would be that bad. Alice checked and so did Mrs. Cullen, he said never said he'd rather not go. Do you think he'd rather a low key thing?" Jasper's concern was dripping in his every word and Bella was relieved to see she wasn't the only, non-family, friend Edward hard. Jasper, in fact, had noticed how Edward had retreated during the week. He thought after their riding activities, Edward would be in better shape, and in some ways, he was. Although, he'd noticed the sudden change, Jasper hadn't the slightest idea as to why.

"I think low-key would give him more time to think about what he's missing. But I don't think we should recreate New York. But I think we definitely need to plan for what we want to do on Saturday. He likes music a lot and Seattle's a big city – think there's a band playing that night he might like to see?" Bella suggested. She'd hardly seen Edward all week; only during short, sporadic stops to the Cullen's did they exchange pleasantries. They'd spoken on the phone for a bit while Alice had been out shopping, leaving her phone at home, but aside from that, their contact had been minimal. Bella hoped to keep it that way until she'd decided on a gift. She might just have to go shopping with Alice.

"That's a great idea, Bella! I'll definitely look into that. I actually talked to Edward about Saturday. He was actually hoping to go around the city a bit, he said there were some specific things he wanted to do. I know Alice wanted to go shopping, too, so maybe you could keep Edward company then? Aside from celebrating his birthday, I don't think he should really wander around alone with his thoughts all day."

"I don't mind. That even gives me an excuse to get out shopping with Alice." She held her hand out for a high five.

Bella returned to her thoughts as Jasper picked up his strumming with new vigor. After another song though, he looked back to Bella.

"What else is on your mind?"

With one look from Bella, Jasper knew exactly what was on her mind.

"You know, if you're thinking about it so much, maybe it's worth a shot."

"What is?" she asked.

"Talking to your mom."

"How did you…"

"Really, Bella? I know you haven't talked to her. I don't know what happened that's made you really worry lately, but anyone can see that you are worried."

Bella nodded, unable to speak.

"Anything I can do?"

She shook her head and turned her eyes the sky. The sun was low and it was started to cool off. Soon she'd need to return inside and start making dinner for when Charlie returned.

"You're owed an explanation, Bella. You might as well get it. Even if it's the exact opposite of what you want to hear, you've still got all of us. We're not going anywhere. Just let us help you."

Bella and Jasper both stood and he wrapped her in his arms, placing a small kiss on her head.

"We want to help you."

Of course, they did. They cared about her. But they wouldn't always care about her, and then where would she be?

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**A/N: Chapter title comes from "Existentialism on Prom Night" by Straylight Run. **

**So what'd you all think? Not what you were expecting I don't think. Edward's birthday in Seattle is coming though, no worries. Yes? No?  
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	27. Why Can't I Make It Leave?

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: Sorry again for this delay. Between all the traveling, visiting and hosting I've been doing the holidays, I've been pretty sick. I'm starting to feel much better though and am hoping to get back to updating regularly again. I hope you all had a splendid holiday and appreciate the time you had with friends and family. Enjoy…

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**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**27 – Why Can't I Make It Leave?**

Clothes were flying across the room. Bella was perched against the headboard of her bed with clothing, some folded and some not, blanketing her bed. At the foot, her overnight bag stood open, ready to be stuffed. Alice turned around, away from the closet and eyed the bag.

"I don't think that's going to be big enough," she said, hands on her hips, thinking.

"We're only going to be gone for the weekend, Alice."

"I know that. But that's an overnight bag," she pointed to the offending piece of luggage. "You can't expect me to fit all these clothes inside that teeny bag. They'll get wrinkled!"

Putting aside the book she was reading, Bella looked around the bed, paying attention to the clothes Alice had been throwing at her for the first time. Wide-eyed, she asked, "All these clothes?"

"No, silly, the clothes still in your closet." Alice rolled her eyes sarcastically and moved on, searching underneath Bella's bed for different luggage. "Where's your other bag?"

"What do I need all these clothes for?" Bella's full attention was on Alice now. Cautiously, as though the clothes would bite, Bella picked up piece after piece, inspecting her best friend's choices. Three different sweaters, a red, a green and a blue, were piled next to tank tops of comparable colors. Jeans were stacked next to shorts, and two skirts thrown lazily on top. Shoes littered the floor and belts snaked around them. Over the back of Bella's desk chair, t-shirts hung over the back, showing a rainbow of colors. The shirt on top, white with a black graphic rose design, was one Bella had never seen before.

Alice took the in the same scene, although her eyes were alit with promise of opportunity whereas Bella's merely showed worry. She answered, almost sheepishly, "Well, we don't really know what we're going to be doing."

"It's only three days, Alice," Bella said, using a stern voice.

"Who knows what you'll feel like wearing, though?" Alice tried, hoping Bella to mend to her wishes.

"I won't care," Bella said truthfully. "Can't you just pick a couple outfits that will work for anything?"

"But, Bella…" Alice's face contorted to mimic a sad puppy dog.

"Alice. Just pick out the outfits you want me to wear now. It'll save you from having it do it over the weekend."

"I like to do it, Bella!"

"I don't need to bring all these clothes with me – it's pointless."

"Fine," Alice huffed and began weeding through the clothes and placing the winners inside Bella's bag.

She worked in silence for the next few minutes while Bella resumed reading. At the sound of the zipper, Bella closed the book, bookmark inside and stood up.

"All done?" she asked brightly.

"Yes," Alice answered, unhappy.

"If it makes you feel any better, we need to go shopping." Bella picked up the bag and started for the door.

Alice perked up immediately at the mention of spending money. She followed Bella into the hallway and they descended the stairs. "What for?"

"Edward's gift. I need to go to J.D.'s in Port Angeles. Want to go with me this afternoon?"

"Of course!" Alice exclaimed, clapping her hands.

While Bella went into the kitchen to leave a note for Charlie, Alice stayed at the bottom of the stairs with Bella's bag while she dialed her house number to tell her parents about the pit stop they would be making before returning home. Just as she slide her phone into her purse, through the front window Alice spied a car pulling into Bella's driveway.

"Somebody's here, Bella!" she called out.

"Who?" Bella asked, finishing up the note.

"Not sure. I don't recognize the car."

"Well, let's find out." Bella walked into the room and straight towards the front door. Without waiting for the knock, she opened the door to take a look at the guest. However, she did wait until he'd climbed out of his car and was climbing the porch stairs before greeting him. "Jake! What are you doing here?"

At the mention of Bella's friend's name, Alice jumped up from her perch on the stairs and immediately went to Bella's side to look out the front door. Jacob smiled and waved with his free hand and ducked through the front door. Having moved out the way, Alice peeked around Jacob's hulking figure and raised her eyebrows in appreciation. Bella merely shook her head at her friend's antics and allowed Jacob to pull her into a hug.

"What are you doing here?" she asked again.

"Heard you were going out of town," he answered with a shrug. "Charlie's gonna need to eat something while you're gone."

He held up the bag in his hand and disappeared into the kitchen. In the other room, Bella and Alice listened to his heavy footsteps on the tile and the opening and closing of the refrigerator door. Before he reappeared, Alice turned to Bella and silently mouthed "He's cute." Again, Bella could only shake her head.

"You must be Alice," Jacob said, offering his hand. "I'm Jacob."

Taking his hand, Alice said, "It's so nice to meet you! Finally! I've heard so much about you."

"You have?" Jacob turned to Bella, raising his eyebrows. He was remembering their conversation from a few nights before, when he'd accused Bella of being ashamed of their friendship.

"Of course! And I have to thank you for taking such good care of Bella while I was away. I was so happy to hear she'd made a new friend to spend all her time with!" Alice's excitement was infectious and Jacob found himself unable to stop the smile from spreading across his face.

Bella, though, was having a tough time standing by while listening to her two friends talk about her. "You do realize that I am standing right here?"

Alice shot Bella quick look and smile and then turned back to Jacob. "I have to admit, though, I was quite jealous at first. I'm not sure Bella ever spend that much time with me."

"Does this mean you'll be coming cliff-diving with us on Wednesday?" Jacob rubbed his hands over his newly buzzed hair and awaited Alice's answer.

"Cliff-diving?" She looked to Bella for an explanation, who, in turn, looked to Jacob.

"It's pretty much what it sounds like. You dive from the cliffs down on the reservation. A couple of my friends and I were planning on going and I invited Bella, and whoever else she wanted. You in?"

"A couple of your friends?" Alice asked unsure. "Jake, I know how well you and your friends gets along with Jasper and Emmett."

"Hey!" Jacob defened, raising his arms in surrender. "I don't have any problem with those guys. And it'll only be Embry and Quil who come, and probably Seth, too. I promise, there won't be any problems."

Between the sincerity in his words and his beaming smile, Alice couldn't help but believe Jacob's promise. She exclaimed, "Count us in!"

"Awesome!" Jacob looked over to Bella, who had moved to sit down on the bottom stair while her friends were talking.

"Oh yea, sounds great!" she replied, sarcastically.

Jacob eyed the bag by Bella's feet. "You goin' somewhere?"

"I told you I was going to Seattle for the weekend, for Edward's birthday, didn't I?"

"I thought that wasn't till tomorrow?"

"It is. I'm staying at the Cullen's tonight so we can leave first thing in the morning. Alice came over to help me pack and we're going over to Port Angeles to pick up Edward's gift," Bella explained. She stood up, bag in hand and moved toward the front door.

"Well, I won't keep you then." Jacob hugged Bella goodbye and turned to bid farewell to Alice when she wrapped her small arms around his torso. He was taken aback by her hug at first, but then realized how true to her character, judging by everything Bella had told him, it was. He hugged her back. "It was nice to meet you, Alice. You girls have a fun weekend!"

"See you Wednesday, Jake! Can't wait to cliff-dive!" Alice nearly shouted.

She and Bella followed Jacob out of the house. While Bella locked the front door, Alice watched Jacob get into his car and drive away. She opened her mouth to say something to Bella, but was stopped before any words could escape.

"Don't even say it, Alice. I don't want to know what you're thinking." Bella threw her bag into the backseat of Alice's speedy, yellow car and climbed into the passenger side as Alice took her place behind the wheel.

--

Dinner had long been served and cleared and the cars packed when Carlisle and Esme retired to bed that night. Carlisle had worked late, barely making the tail end of dinner, in order to ensure that his work was finished before leaving for the weekend's conference. The next morning, he and Esme would be leaving right after breakfast and driving straight through to the medical center for check-in. Even though the kids were going to take their time leaving, and driving to Seattle, Esme had invited them all to stay the night more for Edward's sake than for traveling ease. She didn't want Edward to be alone, for even the shortest period of time, on his eighteenth birthday.

The porch lights were on, throwing strange shadows through the surrounding forest. Just beyond the light's reach, the small river raced, the sound of water echoing to the ears of those seated outside the house. Their faces were reflected back in the closed glass door, keeping their noise outside. Rosalie was sitting on the step below Emmett, resting between his knees, against his body, on the tiled ledge. Across the circle from the couple, with his back to the woods, Jasper sat, eyes closed, ever-present guitar in hands. As the group talked around him, he idly strummed, music swelling around them.

To his one side, Edward sat quietly. Now his hands were placed in his lap but every few minutes, he would sigh and fidget, trying to find a new comfortable position. After a couple unsuccessful attempts, he would end up in the same arrangement, only to repeat the cycle again. His hands needed a task, his brain longed for some activity to busy itself with. As much as he enjoyed his friends' company, there was a severe lack of direction in the conversation and long lulls, comfortable for everyone else, hung over the group frequently. Jasper's playing was not methodical, almost as though he was putting no thought into the notes he produced, despite appearances. Alice and Bella, across the circle from Edward, on Jasper's other side, were more involved in their own conversation than the group's, although theirs was riddled with silences as well.

"So Jasper," Emmett started, pulling the wannabe-rockstar from his music induced trance. "Your parents left today?"

It wasn't enough to re-energize the conversation as Jasper merely nodded. Sick of the silence, Emmett pestered him again, this time choosing a question that his friend would need to use his words to answer.

"How long are they gone for?" he asked.

Alice, however, anticipated Jasper's annoyance at Emmett's attempt to break his concentration, or lack thereof, and answered for him. "All week."

Emmett flashed his little sister a look and she understood not to interrupt again. Why Emmett was so hell-bent on forcing words from Jasper, Alice didn't understand.

He tried again, "Just your dad will be back after a week, right?"

Again, Jasper nodded silently. Emmett was about to give up all hope of revitalizing the conversation when Jasper spoke. His words were soft at first, masked by the beautiful chords he was playing. "Monday, I think, is when he flies back in."

With an incessant tug on the strings, the chord sprung to life, dancing through the air and getting lost in the forest. He reached the strap over his shoulder and held the guitar away from his body. He thought better of it before setting it on the ground beside him and held it out to Edward as an offering. With a shrug, Edward reached out and took the instrument, confidently settling it in his lap. His playing was not like his comrade. Every chord strummed, every slide of his fingers, every string pulled was deliberate. The result, though just as beautiful as Jasper's, was not background music. The music blended together, each chord becoming another with no pauses, no thinking, in between. Everyone's attention was captured for a few minutes, trying to place the harmony. It wasn't until Edward finally noticed the stagnant, not relaxed, silence that he acknowledged their curiosity. He smiled his signature lop-sided grin before turning his attention back to, and solely on, the guitar in his hands.

Dismissing their interest and granting Emmett's wish, Jasper spoke again. Recognizing that Edward was too occupied by playing his own arrangements, Jasper looked only to Emmett. "The General wants to go riding when he gets back."

"Still annoyed he didn't get to come with us last time?" Emmett laughed.

"You know how he is," Jasper shrugged. "Although, we'll have to be more careful, if we want to go back to La Push so soon."

Excited at finding her in, Alice perked up immediately. "Speaking of La Push, guess who I officially met today!"

Emmett and Jasper exchanged a look, not understanding the connection, assuming it was really just a way for Alice to turn the conversation back to something she'd rather discuss. Seeing how Bella already knew and was dreading the next words out of Alice's mouth, Rosalie was the only one left to actually guess.

"Who?" she asked, only slightly interested.

"Jacob Black," Alice answered smugly.

"What?!" Emmett bellowed. "Alice! Where? Why? Did you actually talk to him?"

"Yes, I actually talked to him. I said I met him, didn't I?"

"Where did you meet him, Alice?" Jasper's voice was calmer, hoping to ease the tension that had suddenly erupted.

"At Bella's!" she answered, as though it were the obvious choice.

"Who's Jacob Black?" Rosalie asked confused, interest piqued.

Through gritted teeth, Emmett answered. "One of the Quileute boys."

"One of the ones that stopped you the other day? That you almost got in a fight with?" Rosalie was trying to keep her laughter at bay, but found it hard. The hilarity of the situation – that Alice met the kid who nearly fought Emmett and Jasper at Bella's house – was too great.

Emmett didn't grant Rosalie the confirmation she was striving for, to keep himself from snapping at her. Whatever she found funny about the entire situation was lost on him. As Edward continued to play, seamlessly transitioning from one song to the next, the entire conversation escaped him; he paid the others no mind. His only concern was the flawless music he was producing with his hands, and occasionally voice as he hummed along.

Jasper was experiencing sensory overload. Between the calming effect Edward's music was having on him and the tense atmosphere that surrounded the rest of his friends, Jasper didn't know how to respond to anyone. He struggled with the desire to make things right among his friends, to prevent anything from escalating, but sitting there, listening to the music, he just couldn't believe that things wouldn't turn out that way anyway.

Things were at a stalemate so he decided to further the conversation, without doing much damage. Or so he hoped. "Jacob actually mentioned you the other day, Bella."

Embarrassed, blood rushed to Bella's cheeks, coloring them pink. As coolly as she could manage, she tried to play it off. "So he said."

"So you are friends with him?" Emmett accused.

At the sound of Bella's voice, Edward's interest piqued. He lost only a half second of playing but no one noticed. Their attention was too fully focused on learning more about Bella's relationship with Jacob Black. After their motorcycling adventure, neither Emmett nor Jasper had explained about the Quileute boys anymore and Edward still did not understand how the tension had come to be. During the incident, he'd noticed how it was Jacob who'd stepped between them to quell the tempers – he'd stopped any fight from occurring. But still, Jasper and Emmett had not warmed up to him. Not that Edward had minded; it was obvious that Jacob had purposely mentioned Bella to earn his own rise out of the boys, purposely antagonizing them.

Edward yearned to learn more, but he didn't want to seem curious. He continued to play the sweet music, concentrating less because he didn't need to, and quieting the sound. He waited, biding his time until he too could join in the conversation.

"They're friends, alright!" Alice nearly shouted. Under her breath, but still loudly, she added, "More than friends, I'd say."

"Alice!" Bella scolded, shooting her best friend a look. The blush wasn't disappearing from Bella's cheeks and she really preferred for the entire conversation to be dropped.

'More than friends' was all Rosalie needed to hear. She took over for Emmett, asking her own questions. "Bella! Why didn't you say anything?"

"It's nothing." Bella's voice was hardly above a whisper as she wished she could melt into the pavement she was sitting on.

"Oh, gosh!" Alice squealed. "Rosalie, you should have seen it! Jacob is head over heels for Bella! And he's so cute!"

"He is?" Rosalie, leaning forward, asked, pressing for more details.

Behind her, Emmett cleared his throat loudly. "Really? Is this necessary?"

Placing a sweet kiss on his cheek, Rosalie reassured her boyfriend. "Babe, you know I love you. And no one could ever be as cute as you."

With a triumphant smile, Emmett leaned back on the ledge and pulled Rosalie's body flush with his.

"Bella?" Jasper asked.

She turned her head to meet Jasper's eyes, which showed nothing but compassioned. If there really was something to the relationship, he wouldn't judge, wouldn't say a word, but, first, he needed her confirmation.

"It's nothing, really." Seeing that her few words were reassuring of nothing, she further clarified. "Yes, Jacob has a crush on me, but I've made it clear I don't feel the same. Apparently, that just doesn't matter to him."

Emmett no longer needed to the conversation to be engaged for he was locked in his own world with Rosalie. Alice already knew the story and Bella assumed that Edward was still not paying any attention to the others, so her words were meant for Jasper.

He nodded, no words were needed.

Alice, however, had her own game plan. She drew in a breath to continue but was stopped when both Jasper and Bella shot her pleading looks to stop. Jasper neither knew, nor cared at the moment, whatever more she felt the need to share. He felt confident it would come out eventually and he didn't want Bella to suffer anymore then.

Whether their attentions were now unoccupied or because Edward's volume increased, everyone's attention was back on the music. In a few minutes, they all turned their heads to the sliding glass door as Esme stepped outside, bathroom pulled tight over her pajamas.

"It's a long drive to Seattle tomorrow. How about you kids head to bed? I think it's late enough." Sleep etched her words but she managed to stifle the yawn that threatened.

One by one, Emmett, Alice, Edward, Jasper, Rosalie and Bella filed past Esme, wishing her goodnight as they passed. She stood at the bottom of the stairs, watching as they all ascended and made their ways to the appropriate bedrooms.

Despite the relatively early hour, sleep settled over the upper level of the house quickly. With little difficulty, everyone relaxed, closing their eyes and allowing their bodies to drift into dreamland. After only 90 minutes in her subdued mental state, Bella woke with a start. There had been no bad dreams, that she could remember, but still she found sleep escaping her. She listened closely for the sounds of another stirring soul but heard only Alice's soft breathing beside her.

Bella tip-toed out of the room, leaving the door open an inch for her return. At the end of the hall, Rosalie's door, the door the guest room where Bella typically stayed, was shut. Past the stairs Bella saw that Emmett's door was also shut, him and Jasper inside. Bunking with Alice, while Rosalie slept in the guest room, provided enough space for all the guests and put Carlisle and Esme at ease about the sleeping arrangements. Before Edward had moved in, Emmett and Jasper had stayed in the loft upstairs, but now, after the renovations, there was only one bed.

The kitchen was dark and Bella didn't dare turn a light on as she poured herself a glass of water. Quickly she emptied the contents and sent the glass down on the counter. No one had shut the blinds covering the back sliding glass door after they'd come inside and Bella could clearly see the moon's reflection in the window. She refilled her glass and walked towards the back of the house. Light from an upper level of the house also reflected onto the cold concrete of the porch. Since she hadn't noticed Rosalie's or Emmett's lights on underneath their doors, Bella could only guess that Edward was also awake.

Internally debating the choice now set before her, Bella climbed the stairs, water glass in hand. Should she go to Edward's room and see for herself whether or not he was awake? She wanted to talk to him, that much she knew; they'd hardly spoken at all during the week and, frankly, she missed his company. But did he want to talk to her? Would he think it was a bother now? Maybe he just wanted to be left alone. Maybe there was a reason, other than busyness, that had prevented them from seeing much of each other over the past few days.

She crossed the threshold of Alice's room and shut the door with a soft click. As she made her way over to the bed, the glowing screen of her phone across the room caught her eye. Bella set the water glass down, taking a final sip, and then picked up her phone. The digital display announced that it was one minute into the new day. Without much thought but with nimble fingers, Bella opened a blank text message, recipient Edward Masen.

"Happy Birthday!" she wrote. If he was awake and wanted to talk, he could write back. If not, Bella could crawl back into the bed and forget having ever woken.

A few minutes passed, the backlight on her phone dimmed but there was no response from Edward. Giving up, Bella set the phone back onto the dresser top and crawled into bed carefully, trying not to stir Alice, the gentle-sleeper. She fluffed the pillow beneath her head and curled her body into the fetal position. Bella closed her eyes and, working her way up from her toes, tried to relax her body. Just when she'd felt the ease settle into her legs, her phone vibrated across the room.

Bella cursed herself, for two opposing reasons. First, she was annoyed that she'd given up on Edward's response and second, she was annoyed that she was now crossing the room to check her phone. She'd been within sleep's grasp, yet she'd rather enter into a text messaging conversation. But which was she more annoyed about? Giving up on Edward or being proved wrong?

Ridding herself of the thought, Bella wouldn't allow her mind to provide the answer. Instead, she opened the unread message."

"Thanks," he'd written. "What are you still doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep," she composed. She finished, "You?"

Again, his response took several minutes during which Bella waited anxiously. Finally, she read, "Wasn't tired."

How to respond, Bella wondered. He hadn't asked a question this time; maybe he didn't want an answer. Did he not to want to text? Suddenly, the phone vibrated in her hand again and Bella was pulled from her confusion.

"Come on up if you're not tired."

No debate was needed now. Edward wouldn't have invited her upstairs if he'd wanted to be left alone. In fact, he probably wouldn't have texted in the first place if he hadn't wanted to, she realized.

"Be right there," she sent before setting the phone down and heading up the stairs to his room.

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**A/N: It's only part of the trip to Seattle. I'd originally planned for more together but because of the time I've lost, I wanted to get something up as soon as possible for you all. I promise this won't turn into another seven-million chapter party. There's lots more goodness to come from Seattle, so let me know what you think of the first part of the trip. I'm sure you all liked some quality Edward/Bella time to last until the next chapter. This chapter title comes from a song by The Rocket Summer called "Waiting."**


	28. A Hero No One Else Could Save

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: Great feedback from the last chapter – thanks for all the support! I hope you are enjoying the fresh start that the New Year provides. Here's to making the most of the next 365 day! Enjoy…

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**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**28 – A Hero No One Else Could Save**

"Feeling any older?" Bella asked as she stepped inside Edward's room and closed the door behind her. She took a minute to look around the room, trying to locate Edward. Closest to her, the piano sat with its cover hiding the ivory keys. The piano bench was covered with papers. On closer inspection she saw it was sheet music, some with black notes drawn on staffs, sharps and flats carefully denoted. She moved towards the piano, picking up the top sheet of music from a small stack on the right.

"I couldn't sleep until I got the music out of my head," Edward said, stepping out of his closet.

Bella turned around, taken by surprise.

"Sorry," Edward apologized. "It wasn't my intention to startle you."

"Don't worry about it," Bella dismissed. She put down the paper in her hands and picked up another from a different stack. "What songs are these?"

"It's written on the back. But the other stack, on the right, those aren't titled." He stayed where he was with the lower half of his body hidden by the closet.

"Why not?" Bella asked, switching back to the other stack. This time, she picked up the entire stack and leafed her way through, front to back. She noticed that instead of the smooth black ink that decorated the other pages, these were riddled with gray smudges. The notes were faded and entire lines were crossed out. Awaiting her answer she looked up to Edward.

"That's mine," he said with a smirk. "I haven't finished it yet."

"You wrote this?" Bella asked, her surprise evident. She flipped again through the pages in her hands.

"I'm trying to. It's taking me awhile though – the next part is proving to be difficult."

"How so?"

"I can't get it to come out right. I know how I want it to sound, but the notes are wrong. That's why I had all those songs out." He motioned to the other, larger stack. "When I was playing downstairs, I remembered the piano accompaniment to a song I was playing. In my head, it sounded right. I thought maybe if I looked at it, I could make sense of the mess I was trying to write."

Bella was still staring in wonder at the notes of the ten pages in her hands. The music danced across the paper and although she couldn't hear the sounds it stood for, she could imagine the melody that such beauty would evoke. While she was lost in the world of the song, Edward moved back into his closet. He pulled out a few more articles of clothing, a pair of jeans and t-shirts, and walked out, turning the light off behind him. He placed the clothes on his bed, which was already covered with other items of his wardrobe.

"Did it work?" Bella asked suddenly, looking up expectantly. She was met with a blank look from Edward so she held up the pages in her hand.

"Oh, not really. The song I was thinking of is written in a different key than the one I'm working on. I couldn't get the notes I wanted to translate over. Thought maybe if I distracted myself, the answer would come to me."

"The music just comes to you?" Bella asked. Setting down the music carefully in its rightful place on the bench, she walked to the first empty seat in the room – the black leather couch. Bella blushed furiously, realizing the couch was not empty. Camouflaged by the matching shades, Edward's underwear had been invisible to Bella's eye from across the room.

Edward watched her hesitant and remembered he'd thrown clothes on the couch. "Please, Bella, move whatever you need to."

At the thought of touching the black boxer-briefs that belonged on Edward's body, Bella blushed even more. She hid her face and mumbled, "It's alright. I'll sit over here."

She moved around to opposite side of Edward's bed. In the few feet of room that existed between the bed and the floor-to-ceiling window, Bella sat, leaning against the nightstand and stared out the window. She stretched her legs out in front of her, pushing a black notebook out of her way. Feeling discomfort when she rested her head against the furniture, she reached behind her to release her hair from its ponytail. Her long, brown locks flooded her shoulders in a sudden movement. Before leaning back again, she pushed the hair back from her forehead and ran her fingers through the soft strands, root to tip. She gathered her hair at the base of her neck and pulling it forward into a twist over her right shoulder.

Quickly, Edward gathered the clothes he'd strewn about the room and put them in the suitcase at his feet. He zipped up the luggage and placed it by the door before he joined Bella on the other side of the bed. He sat down, leaning against the bed, where Bella's feet ended. His tall stature did not fit in the small space so he bent his knees towards his chest, letting his feet press against the cool glass of the window. Edward could barely see his reflection; the light in the room around them was dim. The dark room only helped make the stars outside shine brighter.

"Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish might, have this wish I wish tonight," she spoke quietly to the heavens above them. She was quiet for a moment, making her wish, before she turned to Edward with a smirk.

"That's not the first star you saw tonight," Edward pointed out.

"But it's the first that held my attention. That should count for something."

"So what'd you wish for?"

"You know I can't say. It won't come true then."

"We wouldn't want that now. Forgive me," he requested. Bella smiled with a small laugh and Edward continued. "Do I get to make a wish now?"

"If you want. Pick a star," Bella instructed.

"Any star?"

"Why not?"

"I was under the impression that the wish is to be directed the first star you see of the night."

"Does it matter?" Bella looked away from the sky, asking Edward with her eyes for an honest answer. He couldn't give her any answer and she continued. "It's up to you anyway whether it comes true or not."

"What do you mean?" Edward was aware that their conversation had just taken a new turn but he wasn't sure where it was leading. Like usual, he was surprised by the words that came out of Bella's mouth. She always seemed to have such insight into unknown quantities, such perception that she continued to share with him.

She answered his question with her own. "Do you expect the wish to come true because you asked a star?"

Edward was at a loss for words. With her wording, Bella was calling him out, questioning his beliefs. He was offended at her insinuation, but doubted that she really understood how he'd taken her words. He tried to remain calm, saying "Well, when you put it like that."

"How would you put it?" Bella asked quickly, never missing a beat. She didn't miss how Edward's expression had changed with her first question. She was asking earnestly now, hoping to understand his thoughts.

Instead of giving a straight answer, Edward asked another question as his answer. "Do you remember when you asked me what I saw when I look at the stars?"

"You said hope," Bella recalled.

"Right, and you told me you couldn't make sense of what the stars were showing you. I couldn't see it at the time, but now that I know, I realize that I couldn't make sense of it either then."

"So what do you see now?" Bella asked, curious.

"You actually said it best that night - we view our heavens as being among the clouds and stars," he remembered her words perfectly. He'd recalled them many times over the past week. It was strange, he thought, that the one topic he'd spent his week making sense of was the first thing he and Bella discussed. Answering her original question, he explained, "I'm not simply wishing on a star, I'm praying to a higher power."

"And you expect it to be granted?"

"Not necessarily." Edward took a moment to think his words through. "It's not as though I'm requesting a car for Christmas from Santa Claus. I'm praying to God, by means of the stars. I'm asking Him to grant me the strength and ability, so I can grant the wish myself."

"And if you can't?"

"Then it wasn't meant to be. Then God has something else in store for me." Edward answered, brushing the insinuation off. The answer, no matter how long it had taken him to be comfortable with it, was obvious to him now.

Bella took a moment to think, pouring over Edward's words. It was obvious that he truly believed what he was saying and she didn't want to offend him by questioning his beliefs, but she was curious. "Can I ask another question?"

"Of course. You're welcome to ask all you'd like."

"I just don't want to sound rude. If I am, tell me – I'll stop."

"Bella, really, don't worry. What would you like to ask?" Edward pressed.

"It couldn't mean that you failed? You wouldn't see it as your fault when whatever you were asking for didn't come true?"

Edward was confused by her words. He turned to look her in the eye and asked, "Are you asking why I wouldn't believe God was punishing me?"

"No, no. Not at all," Bella said quickly. "The way you explain it, you're saying you rely on your god to grant the wish – maybe not directly, but it's up to him whether or not it comes true. Right?"

"That's right."

"What I'm asking is…Say you were granted the strength and ability, but still the wish didn't come true. Then it's your fault, your failure."

"He wouldn't grant me the strength and ability and not allow it come to pass." Edward's words were strong; he clung to this belief. It was the crux of everything that he'd thought through the past week. "May I ask you a question now, Bella?"

"Sure," she shrugged, not sure what Edward could be curious about.

"Do you not believe in God?"

The words caught Bella off guard. This was not what she was expecting. Edward had been very open and honest with her and she wanted to show him the same respect but she wasn't sure how. "Honestly," she began her answer. "I don't know what I believe. I want to believe that there's a higher power out there – something that's responsible for me. But I find it hard to take stock in a being that could allow so much bad to happen all around us."

Edward nodded, understanding her view point. After all, it wasn't that long ago he'd questioned his faith for the same reason.

"I don't know how you can so wholeheartedly give yourself over to something. To live and die by someone else's hands. I don't mean to sound insensitive, and if I'm crossing the line, you don't have to answer." Bella's words were coming fast now, falling from her lips in a rush. "But how do you explain your parents' deaths? Are you okay with it because it was God's will?"

"Bella…"

"I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to upset you. Forget I said anything."

"No, Bella, it's alright – really." Edward reached out and grabbed Bella's shin. His cool hand on her warm leg caused her to look up and meet his gaze. "I'm just not sure what to tell you. I've spent my entire week thinking about this. Now, I know what I believe, but I'm not sure I'm able to put it into the correct terms. My reasoning may not make sense to you and it's probably flawed, but that's what faith is, right? It's taking that leap to explain what a person doesn't know and doesn't understand, and it's different for everyone."

Bella smiled weakly at Edward, skeptical.

"I'm so thankful for everything that the Cullen's have done for me, that everyone here in Forks has done for me. And I really appreciate the effort everyone has put in to make this trip happen. To know that you all want to make my eighteenth birthday a festive affair rather than allow me to wallow in my own self-pity, it means a lot. And if I hadn't taken this week to myself to make sense of things, could you guess how I'd be spending the weekend?" Edward paused but Bella remained silent. "I'd be bitter that it wasn't New York. I'd be mad that my parents weren't there. I would seem completely ungrateful, which is the exact opposite of how I feel, but I wouldn't be able to get past my hatred for the situation.

"It's been over a month since my parents died and I've spent the majority of that time pretending I was fine, pretending I'd gotten over it. I was in denial, Bella. I was acting as though nothing had happened." Edward looked away from Bella and was quiet for a few minutes while he eyes searched the sky. "I'm not okay with my parents' deaths, even if it was God's will. But I have to believe that something will come out of this. I believe they died for something greater. And it's okay that I don't know what that is now, or that I may never know. It's just important that I believe."

"Because then there's nothing you could have done to change it. The situation was out of your hands," Bella finished for him.

"Exactly." Edward turned back to Bella, smiling his signature lopsided grin.

"Can't say I agree, but I do understand. It makes perfect sense," she admitted. Bella pulled her leg out from Edward's touch and crossed her legs beneath her. She moved away from the nightstand she'd been leaning against and closer to Edward. "My family was never big on church. We only ever went sporadically when I was younger. Since I've been friends with Alice, I've gone more frequently. Attending service whenever possible was always important to Carlisle and Esme. And, in theory, it's always made sense to me. But I've never personally been able to subscribe to it. How can you rely entirely on something else? How can you have that much trust in something?"

The questions were rhetorical but Bella never took her eyes off the boy, now man, in front of her.

"Curious as to my theory about wishing on stars?" she asked.

"Of course."

"I don't believe my wish is going to be granted just because I asked a star. I can't rely on the star, but I can rely on myself to make it come true. It's a promise to myself to do whatever I need to make it happen. It's like I'm my own personal wishing star," Bella said, laughing at her own silliness. The serious mood between the two was officially broken and they relaxed into silence.

Bella turned her body, scooting closer to Edward while she leaned against the bed and mirrored his posture. Her petite frame looked even smaller in comparison to him; her legs barely reached the window when fully extended. As she was adjusting her position, her hand brushed against a piece of paper just hidden by the edge of the bed.

"What's this?" she asked, removing the paper. The edges were crumbled and as she flattened the page out against her leg she saw that it was another page of sheet music, although there were scribbles across the page. None of the notes were legible but through the thin material she could see something was written on the back. Bella turned the paper over and began studying the designs that marked the white.

"Pointless sketches," Edward answered. "I was doodling earlier. I must have dropped the paper."

"What does this mean?" Bella asked of the design that was repeated countless times. Some of the drawings were larger, others smaller, but all of the same basic design. There was a top and a bottom, or two sides, depending on how one looked at it, with a line of symmetry through the middle. The two halves were exactly symmetrical, though they looked very similar. One was more rounded whereas the other was all right angles and sharp points. It was the difference between cursive and print handwriting.

"It's…" Edward started to answer before stopping himself. "You're spending Saturday with me, right?" Bella nodded. "Good. I'll explain then."

"Alright," Bella responded interested, but knowing she was barely 36 hours from the answer. Her eyes scanned over the page before landing on something she'd missed before. "Oh my gosh! Edward, is that suppose to be a star?" She pointed to a pointy object in the lower right corner of the page, laughing hysterically at the maimed design.

"So I'm not very good at drawing stars," Edward huffed, annoyed at his short coming. "I doubt you could do any better," he challenged.

"Of course, I could do better! That's awful!"

Edward reached over Bella and grabbed the pencil off the nightstand, handing it to Bella. "And no cheating, either," he clarified as she poised the lead over a blank space on the page. "You can't erase the lines from the middle."

"Fine." It was Bella's turn to get huffy. She pressed the point down and thought for a moment before dragging it up along the page. Next she changed directions, completing the first point of the star. She drew a horizontal line next, then reversed direction and completed the second point. The third she continued in the same fashion but once finished, it didn't look as though it matched the others. She decided to draw the fourth in comparison to the third and then completed the inner circle by drawing the turned V, connecting the first to the fourth. She raised the pencil and immediately started laughing. "Okay, so it's not much better."

Edward joined in with his own laughter. It was several minutes before the charming, musical sound of his laughter subsided and he said breathlessly, "Bella, that's worse than mine."

"Hey! Be nice!" Bella complained, still laughing and swatted at Edward's arm.

Lazily, Edward caught Bella's hand before it made contact his skin. He held it tightly looking at her. Bella's laughter quieted as she looked into Edward's eyes. The sparkling green was as captivating as ever, but for once Bella was not overwhelmed by the sadness and loss they held. Tonight, they seemed to take on a life of their own. She couldn't be sure whether it was the renewed energy Edward had or the fact that it had been almost a full week since she'd stared into the tiny green planets, but, either way, she was glad for the opportunity.

Edward stared back, watching the giddiness wash from Bella's face as the muscles relaxed. He reached up brushed a stray strand of hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. His mind cleared as he kept his cool palm resting against Bella's warm cheek and jaw. He watched as the brilliant flush made its way to Bella's cheeks. Edward's eyes flickered to Bella's lips and he marveled at the thought of kissing her again. Subconsciously, he licked his lips in anticipation.

Bella saw the reflection of her own face in Edward's eyes as his gaze turned from her own eyes to her lips and then she followed suit. When she saw his tongue dart out and dampen his lips, she began to do the same. She was only mildly aware of the feel of his hand on her face but she caught herself in the middle of the motion and cleared her throat. It took another minute though before she could break the eye contact.

"I should go," she said quietly, eyes to the ground. "Big day tomorrow."

Quickly, she stood and made her way to the door. Before she closed the door behind her, she turned around to speak. The words were just loud enough for him to hear. "Goodnight, Edward. Happy birthday."

"Goonight, Bella," he said as the door shut.

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**A/N: By the time I got the end of this, I realized how much I like these conversations between Edward and Bella to stand by themselves. So sorry to drag out the trip more, but hopefully you won't mind in the end. The chapter title comes from the song "Little" by Something Corporate. Happy New Year, again! I'd love to hear your resolutions, and let's hope we can keep them going for awhile!**


	29. We Do This to Ourselves

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: Apologies again, my friends. The real world has sucked me in and demanded so many things from me. I had gotten so used to my lazy lifestyle over the holidays, I completely forgot how much it sucked to have a regular schedule, to have to go to work and class and such. Things are pretty crazy so I can't promise frequent updates. I'm aiming for once a week, most likely over the weekend. I know we're all anxious to see how Seattle goes (and more), and I'm sorry I've prolonged it. That was never my intention. But hopefully, the finished product will make up for it. Enjoy…

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**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**29 – We Do This to Ourselves**

Bella was the first to wake in the morning. Knowing time was of the essence for the day, she quickly gathered her belongings from around Alice's room and retreated to the bathroom. Once she'd pulled on the dark jeans and green graphic tee, hoping to meet Alice's fashion expectations as well as her own comfort ones, Bella dried her hair and pulled the dark strands away from her face and into a ponytail. Briefly, she contemplated styling her hair before deciding it would never meet Alice's standards after the long drive. They'd had plenty of time to get ready for their nice dinner once they'd arrived in Seattle that evening. With a swipe of mascara across her eyelashes, Bella left the bathroom to find Alice waking up.

"Morning, sunshine," Bella smiled.

"What are you doing up already? And why are you so happy? You do realize it's morning, right?" Alice asked, shaking the sleep from her frame as she crawled out from under the covers.

Bella only laughed as she tucked her pajamas into the overnight on the floor.

"No, really, where's my real best friend?"

"It's me, Alice. I promise." Bella held up a Scout's Honors.

Alice glared at her before disappearing into the bathroom. While Alice brushed her teeth and washed her face, Bella tidied the room of her belongings. Alice had too many possessions for her to even make a dent in straightening them. Their bags for the weekend were already in the cars and Bella would be leaving the overnight bag at the Cullen's until they returned on Sunday.

"I'm going to jump in the shower," Alice said, poking her head out of the bathroom. "My mom said she left some breakfast downstairs, so help yourself. Everyone is probably still sleeping since we don't have to leave right away."

"Did your mom and Carlisle already leave?" Bella asked.

Alice nodded. "Check-in for the conference started at 10 and they didn't want to get there much later than that since they are bailing on it tonight."

Bella looked up at the Uhrzahl wall clock above Alice's dresser. When Alice had returned from her first trip to Italy after the Cullen's had moved to Forks, it had taken some time for Bella to become accustomed to the unusual timepiece. Eventually she'd learned to just appreciate the decoration and now ignored the extraneous numbers when reading the time.

"What time are we planning on leaving?" Bella asked.

"What time is it now?" Alice questioned, disappearing from sight and turning on the water in the shower.

"Little after 9."

"I don't know. Probably around 11?"

Leaving Alice to get ready, Bella decided to see what Esme had left for breakfast when her stomach had rumbled. In the hallway, bright with the flooding light, she noticed the door to the guest room open. She edged through the door slowly, careful to grant Rosalie the privacy she might need while preparing for the day.

"Rosalie?" Bella called out quietly when she saw only empty space in front of her. The blinds were still drawn shut, but enough light seeped through to cast shadows across the floor. She stepped around the door, searching for her newest friend. As she thought Rosalie must still be sleeping, Bella's eyes fell to the bed, taking in the large hulking figure sitting up. Immediately, she dropped her eyes as the familiar blush made its home on her cheeks. She nearly shouted, "Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry!"

Emmett's frame shook with silent laughter and the blanket gently fell away from his bare chest. He stilled his movements quickly, trying not to wake Rosalie, who was curled against his side.

"I'm so sorry!" Bella gushed again. "I…I just thought….The door was open…I didn't mean…"

"Jasper was snoring," Emmett offered with a shrug. He pushed back under the covers, wrapping his free arm around Rosalie's hidden waist. "We'll be up soon."

Bella nodded, "I'm going to see about breakfast."

On her way out, Bella made sure to close the door. She didn't walk away until she heard the secure "click" of the door fitting in its frame. Once downstairs, Bella saw that she was the only one really awake. There was a note from Esme on the counter, intended for no one in particular, that instructed Bella to check on the breakfast left warming in the oven and to be sure to call her when they were hitting the road. Detailed directions to the hotel in Seattle were included and Bella tucked them into her pocket, reminding herself to pass those along to Alice and Edward, the two drivers. Last night, they'd decided that the girls would travel with Alice, in Jasper's jeep, while the boys rode in Edward's Volvo. Neither Alice's racing sports car nor Emmett's off-roading machine were practical for the journey. No one quite understood why Carlisle and Esme had gone along with those choices, but no one voiced these concerns because the vehicles made perfect sense in comparison to their drivers' personalities.

Inside the top oven of the modern kitchen, Esme had left two trays filled with food for the six teenagers to consume for breakfast. Bella laughed as she turned up the heat; there were enough eggs, bacon and sausage to feed a small army, which in this case fitted Emmett, Edward and Jasper perfectly. In the bottom oven, several stacks of pancakes and waffles were pushed together with candles sticking out of the top – eighteen to be exact. Bella easily found the matches, exactly where Esme had described, and set them on the counter, waiting until she would serve the breakfast to light the candles.

After setting the table, Bella poured herself coffee, adding just the right amount of hazelnut sweetener to take away the bitter taste. She doubted she'd ever appreciate the tart drink, but nonetheless appreciated the caffeine effects. From her bag by the door, she removed two books, _The Little Prince_ and a notebook, and went to sit outside. It was one of those rare, sunny days in Forks – not a cloud in sight.

Bella lost herself rereading the tale of the little prince. Since Edward had presented it to her, only a short week before, she'd read it almost six times. The first, all the way through, to know the story and, each subsequent time, she'd concentrated on a different aspect of the journey. Today, she quickly worked her way through the first six planets before the little prince traveled to Earth and met the fox. She pulled her pen out of the notebook, resting it on the wide arm of the chair, open to a blank page. Bella curled her legs underneath her body and wrote "tamed" on the page.

As she read the fox's pleas to be tamed, Bella found herself staring into the woods behind the house and rereading paragraph after paragraph. After pondering the words, she copied her favorite phrases. "For me, you're only a little boy just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you have no need of me, either. For you I'm only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, we'll need each other. You'll be the only boy in the world for me. I'll be the only fox in the world for you…"

She thought about the words and the meanings behind the words and when it came time for the prince to leave, Bella found herself nearly to tears just like the fox. Hastily, she rushed through the remaining chapters, needing to hear more of the wisdom the fox had passed onto the little prince. She came across another page where the fox was mentioned. She copied the narrator's words into the notebook – "You risk tears if you let yourself be tamed."

At the mention of laughing stars, Bella found herself laughing with the little prince. She took joy in the thought of five-hundred million little bells echoing each time she looked to the stars and imagined the little prince's planet. And as she read the final paragraph, mentioning great mysteries, she heard the door slide open behind her. Without finishing, she turned around and watched Jasper walk to the seat beside her, coffee cup in hand. Hers sat abandoned at her feet, long ago emptied.

"Mornin'," Jasper said. His voice was thick with the remnants of sleep, vulnerable to hints of his Southern accent.

Bella smiled. "Heard you were snoring?"

Jasper laughed heartily. "Don't listen to Emmett. He was just fishin' for an excuse to go to Rosalie. He could barely sleep knowing she was just down the hall."

"Are they up?" Bella noticed now the sounds coming from the house behind her. Laughing, footsteps, music all drifted out to her ears on the porch. She also took notice that Jasper was dressed. She didn't know how long she'd been sitting outside and she hadn't heard anyone else come downstairs, but she hadn't exactly been paying close attention.

"They'll all be down soon. Alice is talking to Edward upstairs, about the game plan for the day. You know we wanted to stop at the Park for lunch?" he asked, referring the Olympic National Park and Forest that was directly between Forks and Seattle. Their route to Seattle was a little out of the way because they couldn't drive directly through the preserved land.

Bella shook her head, confused.

"Since the drive will really only take us three hours, we're not in much of a rush since we don't have plans until dinner. Instead of getting to Seattle early, Alice thought it might be fun to stop for lunch for awhile at the Park. She already had Esme make up a picnic lunch. The cooler's packed in the back of my car. Thought it might be a nice surprise for Edward's birthday," he added with a shrug.

"Sounds good."

"So what's for breakfast? Smells good in the there."

"Oh crap – breakfast!" Bella jumped out of her seat, abandoning her books and coffee mug. The food wasn't in danger of burning, the warming temperatures were only warm enough to keep the food a comfortable temperature, but she'd wanted breakfast to be ready to serve when everyone was ready. From Jasper's words, that was now.

Slowly, Jasper stood to follow her to the kitchen and help. He grabbed her mug, stacking it with his now empty mug and went to grab her books with his free hand. He quickly closed her notebook, not wanting to violate any privacy it might demand but he raised the thin, hardcover book for a closer inspection. He set down the mugs to use both hands. After reading the title, he flipped the pages with this thumb, starting from the back to the front. As the title page fell over the others, he saw an elegant script written on the inside of the cover.

"Your truthfulness and your kindness inspire me. I hope you find your star. Edward." He read the words, whispering to himself. Jasper turned back to the house, as though he'd seen into the secrets its occupants were keeping. Edward had shared his feelings, but there were obviously things he'd kept to himself. And what did it mean that Bella was reading the book and taking notes?

Once inside, Jasper held up the books for Bella to see as he set them beside her bag. He put the coffee mugs in the sink and starting filling the glasses Bella placed on the counter. Together, breakfast was placed in serving dishes on the table just as the others filed down the stairs.

Emmett was arguing something to Rosalie, who was adamantly shaking her head while she tried to ignore him.

"Give it up, Emmett!" Alice shouted as she ran past him down the stairs. She sat down at the table. She yelled out, "Edward!"

With perfect timing, he turned the corner at the landing of the stairs. "I'm right here, Alice," he said, laughing.

"Happy birthday!" Emmett shouted. "The big 1-8! You're legal now!" He stood and offered Edward a quick hug, in typical male fashion, as he stepped off the last

Jasper did the same, and sat beside Alice, who was beaming at her family gathered around. It was Rosalie's turn next. With a peck on the Edward's cheek, she offered her own wish before sitting back down.

"Thanks, guys," Edward said, looking around as he walked toward his seat the table. "Where's Bella?"

The lights shut off and Bella walked, slowly and very carefully, towards the table – pancake-waffle cake in hand. The eighteen candles were ablaze and the entire table immediately began their own rendition of the birthday song. Edward laughed as he took in Esme's creation when Bella set it before him. She couldn't help but smile at her success, she'd been so worried she would trip and end up burning the house down.

At the close of the song, Edward pushed the hair away from his face as he leaned in and blew the candles out in a single breath. Applause resonated throughout the dining area and Edward removed each of the candles, piling them next to his plate.

"Happy birthday, Edward," Bella offered, leaning to hug him in his seat. Always the gentleman, Edward stood, wrapping Bella in his arms in an enthusiastic hug.

"Thank you," he whispered in her ear. It was clear he didn't mean solely for the greeting.

Breakfast was served and, just as Bella had suspected, entirely consumed. Throughout the meal, the teenagers spoke of their plans for the weekend, of what they wanted to do while in Seattle. They gave Edward several, unhelpful hints to what his presents were and not once during the entire exchange would an onlooker have thought so much tragedy has encompassed these friends recently.

Edward's birthday was a reason to celebrate all that was to come in the next year. There would be no dwelling on those who would miss out, no dwelling on things of past; they would only look forward in happiness over the entire weekend.

True to Alice's prediction, it was close to eleven o'clock when they left the house. Alice would be leading in Jasper's car, since Edward was still unfamiliar with the Washington highway system. He still did not know about the plans to stop for a picnic lunch and it worked out perfectly that he would be none-the-wiser until they stopped in the forest.

Rosalie was riding shotgun, in charge of the music, and Bella was spread across the backseat. A pillow was behind her back, cushioning the hard plastic of the door she was leaning against. They drove down the long, winding driveway and, turning onto the main road with the squeal of the tires, were off to Seattle. Looking behind them, Bella saw the Volvo so close behind, she could make of Jasper's pained expression, hoping Alice was taking care of his prized possession.

Once they'd made it to the interstate, easing into the quiet traffic of the 101, Edward, under the Emmett's persuasion, felt comfortable enough to pull beside Alice. While passing on the right, Emmett leaned over and pressed on the horn of the steering wheel. After a few short, though obnoxious, taps, the girls turned their heads just in time to see Emmett's laughing. They could almost imagine the sound of his bellowing filling their car. Edward pushed Emmett out of his space and Jasper was in the backseat, shaking his head in disbelief, but chuckling regardless.

The games had begun.

"Slow down for a sec, Alice," Rosalie instructed.

The driver did as was requested. Gently, she raised her foot from the gas pedal but did not press on the brake. The boys would think that they were driving faster and would be none the wiser that the girls were scheming on their own. When the shiny silver reflected the bright sun from a full car length ahead, Alice pushed the accelerator down only enough to maintain her current speed.

As the Volvo switched lanes, crossing the dashed yellow line on the dark asphalt, Rosalie turned the volume of the stereo down, eyeing the car in front of her.

"Spice Girls or *N Sync?" she asked, angling her body towards the others in the vehicle.

Alice nearly lost control of the car as she shrieked and answered, "*N Sync! *N Sync! *N Sync!"

"'Bye, Bye, Bye' it is then!" Rosalie decided.

"What are we doing?" a confused Bella asked from the backseat.

"Serenading the boys," Rosalie answered as the classic pop filled the car at a soft volume.

"But I don't know the words. All I know is 'bye, bye, bye'!" Bella revealed.

"How can you not know the words?" Alice asked, sounding personally hurt.

"Sorry," Bella offered. "I wasn't the biggest pop music fan a kid. Blame the Chief."

"Here, switch with me," Rosalie said as she unbuckled her seat belt. Gracefully, she slid over the center console and into the seat behind Alice. "They can't notice you not singing if they can't see you."

For a moment, Bella contemplated the move she was about to make. Sure, Rosalie had made it look elegant with her long legs and blonde hair swinging around her face, but Bella wasn't convinced she'd be able to cover the same distance without causing the car to crash.

"Come on! Time's a-wasting!" Rosalie urged.

It's now or never, Bella thought as she undid her own seatbelt. Sliding over the back seat so she was centered in the car, Bella hooked both of her legs over the cloth passenger seat. She eased forward, using her arms to support her weight as she tried to transfer her rear end directly to the center console. As she inched her legs forward, feet now dangling in the empty space in front of the seat, her hips got stuck between the seat front seats. She wiggled forward, pushing harder with her arms on seat she'd left, but it didn't work. Next, Bella grabbed onto the shoulders of the front seats to try to get a different sort of leverage, but she still didn't move.

"Hurry up, Bella! I can't stand driving this slow!" It was Alice's time to urge.

"Uh…guys?"

"What, Bella?"

"I'm stuck!" she shouted.

Alice and Rosalie were both silent as they took in Bella's position: legs stretched out in front of her, hips and butt hanging in the air, body horizontal except for her neck which was straining to hold her head high. When she reached back to support her body weight on the backseat, like she'd been doing before, Rosalie and Alice burst into laughter.

Through spurts of her howling, Rosalie managed to spit out, "You have to…turn…sideways!"

"Help me!" Bella demanded, as she attempted to angle her hips through the narrow space. She repeated, "Help me!"

"Okay, okay, okay." Rosalie calmed herself enough, although her cheeks were flushed and she couldn't smother her smile. She supported Bella's back, holding her up, as Bella pushed one hip at a time over the console. She'd cleared the gap, but had pushed with too much force over the slick surface. She slide too quickly, landing on the seat with a plop, and she didn't have the time to move her legs. Her right foot crashed into the door, causing her knee to buckle, and he left knee slammed against the glove compartment.

"Ow," she murmured as she rubbed her injured legs.

Again, Rosalie and Alice broke into the laughter, unable to contain themselves any longer.

"We really have got to get you some help!" Alice said, as she turned rolled her and Rosalie's windows down. "You ready?

"Bella, the music's cued to the right place so hit play when we're ready," Rosalie instructed.

Using the side and rearview mirrors, Alice checked behind her and saw the coast was clear to switch lanes. Expertly, she edged around the boys and pushed the accelerator to the floor.

"Wait! We need volume! Turn the volume up first!" Rosalie remembered.

Alice pulled up next to the boys and motioned for them to lower their windows as Bella turned the knob as far as it would go for the volume. Thinking she had something important to tell him, Edward pushed the button for Emmett and looked over. Emmett nearly hung his head out the window as he made a kissing face to Rosalie.

"Now, Bella!" Rosalie whispered.

The voices of Justin, Chris, Joey, Lance and JC filled the car, loudly and immediately Alice and Rosalie began to sing. Bella watched the road nervously, while she tried to hold back her laughter, as Alice was focused entirely on the car beside them.

Singing at the top of their lungs, Rosalie and Alice shouted across the road, "Bye, bye, bye. Bye, bye. Don't wanna be a fool for you. Just another player in your game for two. You may hate me but it ain't no lie. Baby, bye, bye, bye. Bye, bye. Don't really wanna…"

When they started the second half of the chorus, the dark tinted window of the Volvo raised, blocking the view of the passengers inside. Immediately, Emmett grabbed his own iPod, switching it out with Edward's that had been playing. He scrolled through the songs quickly, trying to find an appropriate song for retaliation. Thinking quickly, Jasper pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened a new text message.

"Will you read that for me?" Alice asked Bella, motioning towards her phone that has buzzed just moments before.

Bella grabbed the phone and opened the new text message. "It's from Jasper. He says, 'I can't survive another awful pop song. Please save me.'"

"Oh, gosh. Knowing Emmett he's probably getting ready to play 5ive," Rosalie laughed, thinking of her boyfriend's antics.

"Think you can save Jasper?" Alice asked.

"You got it." Rosalie pulled a napkin from the pocket of the seat in front of her. "Got a pen?"

Once Bella handed back a pen, Rosalie scribbled a note and instructed Alice to pull up so her window lined up with Emmett's. She lowered hers and Emmett easily caught on. Rosalie stuck her arm out of the window and Emmett did the same, holding onto is girlfriend's hand a moment before pulling the note inside. As Emmett ducked his head, intent of reading the note, Rosalie threw a wink towards the back window, letting Jasper know he was off the hook.

"Game's over," Emmett announced once the window was back up and the note was tucked inside his pocket for safekeeping.

"Why?" Edward asked. "Wait, do I even want to know what that note said?"

"Probably not," Emmett answered truthfully, a large smile spreading across his face. "But I'm more than happy to share."

"That won't be necessary." Edward replaced his iPod and handed it back to Jasper, who easily selected music that appeased everyone.

After placing the iPod within arm's reach in front of him, he sent another text message to his car.

"'Tell Rose I owe her one,'" Bella read aloud.

"Damn straight he does!" Rosalie agreed.

Edward slowed and Alice pulled back in front of him and stayed there for the remainder of the trip. The time passed pleasantly in both cars; small conversations and easy music taking over.

After another hour of driving, Emmett interrupted the discussion Edward and Jasper were participating in, regarding whether Gibson or Fender guitars were better.

"I'm hungry," he said, playing his part perfectly.

"You're always hungry," Jasper retorted.

"So?"

Jasper sighed. "Edward?"

"I could eat," the driver responded.

"Alright, I'll call the girls."

The digital clock of the Volvo read "1:30" as Jasper pushed Alice's speed dial number.

"Perfect timing," Alice answered, already knowing the reason behind the call. There was no one in her car that she needed to keep a secret from.

"Edward and Emmett are hungry."

"Hey! Don't act like you don't like food!" Emmett yelled.

"Wow, he's taking this seriously," Alice laughed.

"You just want us to follow you then?" Jasper baited.

"Edward is going to be so surprised!"

"Okay, sure. That sounds fine. Lead the way." Jasper hung up the phone before he couldn't hold back his laughter. "Alice says she knows a place on the way where we can stop and grab some food. Just follow her. She said it isn't too much farther ahead."

"Yes! Food!" Emmett cheered.

"You do realize you only ate maybe two hours ago?"

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"Absolutely nothing."

"That's what I thought." Emmett smiled triumphantly, crossing her arms over his chest proudly.

Minutes later, Edward grew nervous when they passed the Washington 104. The exit sign for the road indicated it was the correct direction for Seattle.

"You sure Alice knows where she's going?" he asked.

"Oh, yea. Definitely," Jasper answered quickly.

"She said it was on the way to Seattle?"

"Yea."

"Then why did the sign say to take the 104 to Seattle?" Edward asked.

"There's more than one way to get to Publix, Edward," Emmett shared.

"Right," Jasper said, blocking Emmett out. "Alice knows where she's going. There's probably another way that's faster."

Edward kept driving, following Alice.

Not fifteen minutes passed before Edward saw the next road sign. "Quilcene" it read, and "Quilcene Bay," but there was no mention of a ferry. Edward was catching glimpses of the sparkling water through the forest that surrounded the road and knew they need to cross over soon, but he didn't know the geography well enough to imagine where they were in his head. He was about to ask Jasper to call Alice to make sure they were headed in the right direction when he saw her blinker turn on and she exited the highway.

As Edward pulled onto the smaller, quieter road, he looked around the small town and saw nothing. No restaurants, no people, no stores. In fact, it wasn't much of a town at all.

"Where are we?" he asked quietly, speaking more to himself than looking for an actual answer.

Alice turned down a road that was almost as inconspicuous as her driveway. A mile in, she came to a stop beside a guard gate. She paid the fee, for Edward's car as well, and got directions from the attendant after explaining who she was. With a wave and smile, she drove on again.

Edward stopped beside the gate and pulled his wallet from his back pocket as he put his car in park.

"Already been takin' care of," the attendant said.

"Excuse me?"

"The car ahead of you paid your fee. You can go on in."

"Oh, really?" Edward turned to look at Emmett and Jasper. Both were staring straight ahead, avoiding eye contact and trying to look at innocent as possible. Understanding he wasn't going to get an answer from anyone but Alice, Edward shifted the car into drive and went to pull forward.

"Wait!" Jasper shouted. He lowered the window and asked the attendant, "Is there a bathroom I could use?"

"Got one in here. Come 'round the side, I'll open the door."

"I'll just be a minute," Jasper apologized to Edward as he climbed out of the car.

Once inside the small office, he hid from view and waited until he got the okay from Alice. Apparently, she'd wanted some time to set things up so it was a real surprise when Edward saw the picnic. He'd seen the Washington National Forest sign on the way in, but he wouldn't know what they were doing there until he saw the spread.

"All done, we'll meet you in the parking lot," the text message read.

Jasper slid back into the Volvo and told Edward they were good to go. After rounding a bend, with huge trees looming over them from all sides, Edward spotted Jasper's jeep in the parking lot and the girls leaning against the back end.

"What took you guys so long?" Rosalie demanded as Edward parked beside them and the boys exited the car.

"Jasper had to piss," Emmett answered while pulling Rosalie into his arms and twirling her around.

"What's going on?" Edward asked confused. Did no one else find it weird that they were stopped in the middle of the forest when they were suppose to be on their way to Seattle, he wondered.

"Come on! Let's go!" Alice shouted as she raced ahead of the group. Bella and Rosalie easily fell in step following her and soon Jasper and Emmett were on their tails.

Lazily, Edward found himself half-jogging, half-walking after them. He was too busy taking in every last inch of the green scenery around him to notice when the group stopped at a cabana and gathered around a table.

"Hey, Edward!" Alice called.

He looked up at the sound of his name and turned his head toward the group. They were standing off to the side, a "happy birthday" sign hanging from the pillars of the pavilion and waving in the wind.

"Happy birthday!" they all shouted as he took in the scene.

Spread out on the table was a white and red checkered table cloth covered with containers of food: sandwiches, potato salad, chips and pretzels, cookies and brownies.

"What is this?" Edward asked, stepping towards the table.

"Esme wanted you to have a proper lunch on your birthday. So she put together the picnic," Jasper said.

"The food?" Edward looked at Emmett, then to Jasper. "Then the bathroom? It was all planned?"

Five heads nodded at him from across the table.

"Seriously?"

Again, they all nodded.

"If we'd have asked what you wanted to do, you would have told us it didn't matter, you'd do anything. We've learned to take matters in our hands in that situation," Alice explained, stealing a look at Bella that Edward saw.

"That situation?" he asked.

"Bella's the same way. Always claims she doesn't want anything special, no presents, no party, no cake, no nothing. Hardly wants to celebrate. We do it all anyway."

"Great," Bella said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "Nice to know what I have to look forward to soon."

Alice turned to her. "Just because you pretend your birthday doesn't exist doesn't mean the rest of us do."

"How about we make it through Edward's birthday first? Then we can worry about who is or isn't celebrating mine? It's still months away," Bella suggested as she pulled her hair into a pony tail.

"Agreed. Let's eat; I'm hungry!" Emmett announced.

"Let's eat!" Edward declared, grabbing the first plate from the table.

Because the food was spread on the table, there wasn't much room left to sit. After a short deliberation, they decided to sit on the floor of the cabana; there was enough room for everyone to lean against something. However, due to the layout, there wasn't room for everyone to sit together. They sat equally spread out, leaning against the pillars and table, talking softly to those closest to them. Edward and Jasper had picked up their conversation about makes of guitars where they'd left off and on occasion Bella would add her thoughts, when they spoke of specific music she knew of. Alice, leaning against Jasper, was talking to Rosalie about their plans for shopping the next day in Seattle. Emmett was solely focused on his satiating his hunger.

When they'd stuff themselves and there were hardly any leftovers to bring to Esme at the hotel, Jasper and Bella excused themselves, after unsuccessfully trying to sneak away unnoticed. They'd given the excuse of needing to grab something from the car.

"Here you go, Edward," Jasper said when they returned, handing over an envelope.

"What's this?"

"Happy birthday, man. Open it," Jasper advised as he sat down on the empty bench. Everyone else followed his lead and gathered around.

Edward tore at the envelope until a folded piece of paper emerged. The paper opened to reveal an ad for a concert in Marymoor Park; Ben Harper was scheduled to play tomorrow afternoon. Wrapped inside the paper, were six tickets.

"It's park of the Concerts at Marymoor series. Starts at 4, so we're still good to do whatever afterward," Jasper explained.

"Ben Harper? Nice, I've always wanted to see him play live," Edward praised.

"I know and good timing. Guy's gettin' old, he won't be playing big shows too much longer."

"Thanks, Jasper. This'll be great."

"No problem." Jasper leaned back against the table, wrapping an arm around Alice's shoulders, pulling her into him as he did so.

Rosalie jumped up next, handing Edward a card.

"You all really didn't need to get my anything," Edward said, without opening the card.

"Don't be ridiculous! It's your birthday," Alice said, as if that explained it all. She looked downright offended at the idea that they wouldn't be giving Edward presents for his birthday.

"Open the card," Rosalie instructed.

He obliged and quickly read the contents, which consisted of a message from Rosalie explaining her gift.

"You'll have to pick out your present sometime this week. You can come into the shop with me and I'll take care of it over the weekend." On an irregular basis, Rosalie worked at the auto shop in Forks. It didn't really satisfy her appetite for all things mechanical but it was better than nothing and there was only so much work she could do to her own car or Emmett's. She'd arranged to replace the rims on Edward's Volvo, on the condition he did not request spinners, or anything else gaudy. Rosalie preferred the cars she worked on to be a work of art, rather than a collection of the latest fads.

"Mine next," Bella said, standing up and handing a small box to Edward.

The rectangular package was made of cardboard and under the large green bow and ribbon, Edward could make out the shapes of music notes. He took the ribbon off and placed it on the floor beside him. Elegant script was embossed over the top of the box, reading "Relix."

The first thing Edward saw inside the box was a business card labeled "Wear Your Music." There was a guitar graphic and something circular, but he was too intrigued by the present to give it a good look. Underneath were two bracelets, one gold and one silver; each with the opposite color clasp. Edward fingered the twisting circle, feeling the familiar ragged material under his calloused fingers, but couldn't place it.

"Have you heard of it before?" Bella asked. "Of Wear Your Music?"

Edward shook his head, but didn't look at Bella. He was too enthralled with his latest gift.

"Simply, they make bracelets out of guitar strings. I hope you don't mind, Jasper helped me steal two of yours."

"These are my strings?" Edward asked, disbelieving.

"Yes, I'm sorry. Usually, they make the bracelets like that from the strings of famous players, but I didn't know whose you would really want. I thought, maybe, you'd like to actually wear your music. If you don't –"

"Bella, it's perfect," he said, cutting her off. "They're beautiful. Thank you." He finally raised his head, fingers lingering on the cool metallic.

"Really?" she asked, a blush coloring her cheeks.

"Really," Edward answered earnestly. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Happy birthday."

While Edward looked down again, appreciating his gift, Jasper reached over and squeezed Bella's arm. After a few minutes, Alice spoke up, breaking the silence that had fallen over everyone, to explain that her and Emmett's gift would be given at dinner with Esme and Carlisle's because they accompanied one another.

Soon after they cleaned up the picnic area, loaded the car and waved goodbye to the gate attendant. Within no time, they were back on the road and it was only another 90 minutes until they were in Seattle. At four o'clock in the afternoon, with the bright sun still high in the sky and not a cloud in sight, the two cars pulled up to the valet of the hotel. They'd phoned Esme when they had gotten close and she was downstairs waiting.

Quickly, the bags were unpacked and sent to the suite with a bellhop as the rest took their time looking over the beautiful hotel and making their way upstairs. Throughout the entire tour, the bracelets burned a hole in Edward's pocket. Dinner reservations at the restaurant atop the Space Needle were for 7:30, and the car service would be picking them up sharply at seven. With two and a half hours to get ready, the girls retreated to their room, claiming they needed every last minute to shower and get dressed. Jasper and Emmett lounged around the living room, finding a game on television while Edward went to lie down, tired from driving, in the boys' room.

It wasn't until then, with privacy of being alone, that he saw the inscription on the clasps of the bracelets. He recognized the song lyric almost immediately, knowing the silver bracelet came first.

"Pick a star on the dark horizon," it read.

"And follow the light," the gold finished with the outline of a star marking the end.

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**A/N: Chapter titles comes from "We Do This to Ourselves" by Sherwood. Again, I'm so sorry for the delays. I'm doing my best! I know I'd said I was getting Seattle all out at once, but this already 17 pages and dinner hasn't even been served. I also just came up with something I wanted to add into Saturday and it'll take me some time to work that out smoothly. Basically, I was getting antsy and wanted the post. What are you thinking? Love it, hate it? Let me know!**


	30. No Need to Say Goodbye

**Disclaimer: I don't own**_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: I know I said I wasn't going to do this, but I'm never going to get an update out if I don't. Here's the next part of Seattle. Enjoy…

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**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**30 – No Need to Say Goodbye**

145 minutes later, Alice and Rosalie were showered, dressed and made-up. Together they left their room, shutting the door behind them. Bella, who'd been ready long ago having dressed in a simple skirt and tank top, was already waiting in the living room, leaning against the cool windowpane with her legs curled underneath her as she read.

"We're ready!" Alice announced to the entire suite.

Almost immediately, Carlisle and Esme left their room and the boys, who'd been passing time by playing videogames, were the last to make an appearance. Bella stood, gently closing her book and leaving it on the end table as she pulled the dark green cardigan over her white tank top. Standing next to Alice and Rosalie, both dressed to the nines in dresses and high hells, Bella, in her flats and brown skirt, felt dull.

There was a flurry of motion as Esme reminded Carlisle to grab their gift for Edward before they left, which reminded Emmett to retrieve his. While Carlisle was searching the room to find the card for Edward, the phone rang. It was the concierge, letting the family know that their car had arrived to take them to dinner.

"Carlisle, the car's here," Esme called, walking to the door way.

"Just a minute, dear. I'm having trouble finding the card," Carlisle said without looking up from the suitcase he was digging through.

Esme walked across the room and, from the front pocket of Carlisle's briefcase, pulled out the blue envelope of Edward's card. She smiled sweetly, holding it up for him to see.

"Thank you." Carlisle took the card from his wife's hand as he placed a loving kiss on her cheek. "Let's go to dinner."

Leading the way, hand-in-hand, Carlisle and Esme left the hotel room and stepped into the waiting elevator at the end of the hall. It was a tight fit with the eight of them inside. In the back corner, with Jasper pressed against her side, Bella fidgeted, smoothing her skirt.

"You look beautiful, Bella," Jasper leaned down to whisper.

Bella blushed, her typical reaction to any compliment or unwanted attention. She mumbled, "Thanks."

While the hotel was in the heart of the city, and not far from the Seattle Center, the limo took its time maneuvering its way through the busy city traffic. The conversation was erratic as Carlisle and Esme tried to engage the teenagers and were interrupted every few moments when the bright lights of Seattle stole their attention. Alice had to be calmed several times as time and time again, she was told she could not stand up through the moon roof.

Finally, they made it to the destination. A staff member from the Seattle Center met them downstairs and after helping everyone out of the limo, led them inside and up the elevator. This time, the ride was much roomier, as the vehicle typically carried many passengers on a regular basis. Once upstairs, the family was handed off to the hostess, a young girl named Claire, who explained the restaurant's style.

Settled at nearly the top of the Space Needle, the restaurant offered a 360-degree view of the city. To ensure that patrons wouldn't get tired of seeing the same sight of the city during their meal, the restaurant slowly turned offering all an-encompassing vision. Amazed at what lay before, and underneath them, the Cullen's grew silent as they settled into their seats. A draped curtain separated their private room from the rest of the restaurant and, like the rest, the entire wall was comprised of glass. Management would not tolerate an obstructed view of the precious, rainy city.

Bella was reminded of the Cullen's own home, although the restaurant had a much more modern feel to it. Everyone seemed just as home here as they did in Forks, though. As usual, Carlisle took his place at the head of the table, with his wife at his side. They were quickly lost in their own conversation after having spent a large majority of the day apart. Alice and Emmett settled into the seats by their parents, next to their respective halves. With birthday boy status, Edward claimed the other head of the table, leaving Bella with the open seat between him and Jasper.

The day seemed to have taken its toll on everyone for the first time since they'd entered the establishment. No longer were loud conversations being carried across the table, engulfing everyone around them. Instead each of the pairs eased into the comfort of being together, speaking softly and reminiscing over the day's events. Esme had previously coordinated with the chef, who happened to be an old friend, so there was no need to bother with menus. They simply could enjoy the time sharing a meal together and celebrating Edward's birthday.

Carlisle cleared his throat after the waiters disappeared, having deposited the drink orders. Immediately, the table was silenced as everyone turned to look at their patriarch. He smiled warmly as each of the guests, family and friends alike. "It brings me so much joy that we could all be here together to celebrate Edward's eighteenth birthday. This night would not be complete without every single one of you present." He smiled lovingly at his beautiful wife as he raised their clasped hands to rest on the tabletop. "We consider each of you a part of our family – whether by blood, by law or simply by love. Please join me in toasting Edward on this special night."

Everyone followed Carlisle's lead, raising their glasses and smiling at Edward at the other end of the table.

"Happy birthday, son," Carlisle spoke before clinking glasses with those around him.

"Happy birthday!" everyone else called out, clinking glasses as well.

As if on cue, the wait staff brought out the first course of the meal. Reenergized by Carlisle's emphatic toast, the conversation buzzed around the table. Emmett gushed over the foot, pleading with Esme to make arancini every day until he left for school. Rosalie was trying her hardest to calm her boyfriend down when Jasper joined in, claiming, "These are seriously good!"

Alice hollowed with laughter as Esme promised to do her best to live up to Emmett's request.

"That's all I'm asking," Emmett beamed as he popped another small, fried ball into his mouth, devouring it in one bite.

With that kind of enthusiasm, the appetizers didn't last long. As the empty dishes were cleared, Carlisle silently got the attention of the head waiter, requesting a few minutes before the salads were brought out. Upon receiving confirmation that his request would be granted, he demanded the attention of the table again.

"If it's alright with you, Edward, we'd like to give you our gift now," Carlisle explained, as Esme pulled the card from her purse.

Not knowing the proper words for the situation, Edward merely nodded and smiled gently. He took the card from Esme when she brought it to him and then waited until she was seated again before opening it. His mind was blank as he quickly shuffled through the possibilities; he simply could not come up with a likely solution.

Carefully, he slid his finger underneath the flap of the envelope. He pulled a card that from the outside looked fairly generic, but the inside was anything but. Every inch of empty space was filled with bright red. His eyes scanned over the loopy cursive that he recognized as Esme's handwriting. After reading the first sentence of Esme's "sheer joy that he was a part of her and Carlisle's life and now family," Edward decided it was best to save the words for another day, when he was not in such a public place. Throughout the course of the day, Edward had averted all thoughts from his parents and where he would be at that very moment if they had not been killed. And his friends had done a great job in helping with that diversion. He didn't want to risk all his hard by purposefully calling those thoughts forward. He wanted to appear every bit as thankful and happy as he felt. He wanted nothing else to show.

"We thought it'd be best to leave the choice up to you," Esme was saying, pulling Edward had from his trance. "There are a few options in there, but if you'd prefer something else, that's alright, too. We can go pick it out whenever you'd like, or you can just tell him which you'd like and I can place the order myself."

For a moment, Edward panicked as he thought he was going to have the read the card to know what Esme was talking about. His eyes deftly scanned over the red writing again, but nothing stood out. Nothing caught his attention.

Beside him, Rosalie cleared her throat. He tore his eyes away from the card, but she wasn't looking at him. Her gaze was on the piece of paper she held in her hand. She held it up to him and as soon as he unfolded the piece of paper, he whispered his thanks. He must have pulled the paper from the envelope without realizing it.

Four different models of keyboards were pictured inside the folded paper. There was Yamaha, Korg, Roland, and Kurzweil – all with 88 keys, but all with different specs. Edward quickly read over them but couldn't grasp the concept.

"You're getting me a keyboard?" he asked, his confusion apparent. "But I already have a piano."

Alice was only too happy to jump up and chime in. "It goes along with our gift!"

She motioned to Emmett, who removed the rectangular box from his jacket. No one had even noticed the extra bulk to his figure. His long arm reached down to the end of the table and he passed the gift to Edward, who was still confused.

A gift that went along with keyboard? A gift that would explain the keyboard? What could they have possibly gotten him that his piano wouldn't have sufficed?

Cautiously, because he was nervous, Edward tore the wrapping from the package corner by corner, hoping to ease himself into the unknown gift.

"Come on!" Alice encouraged when she'd tired of his slow technique. "Open it already!"

Sighing, Edward resigned and pulled the remaining paper from the box. His mouth gaped open as he looked at the computer recording program in his hands.

"We know how much you love to compose…" Alice started.

"…thought you might like to try your hand at actually recording," Emmett finished.

Edward closed his slack jaw then opened his mouth to speak before closing it once more. He struggled to find the appropriate words before embarrassing himself further. Finally, he pushed his chair back from the table and pulled Alice in a hug.

"Thank you so much. This is amazing."

"You're welcome!" she chirped, happily. "I'm just hoping you actually let us listen to some of the songs you've written now!"

Edward made his way around the table, hugging each member of his new-immediate family, showing his appreciation. When he sat back down, he turned the box over and over, reading all the information he could about the software.

"I've got the old version of the same program," Jasper leaned over Bella to say. "I'd be happy to help you set it up, show you how to use it."

"That'd be great, Jasper! I'd really appreciate that." Edward couldn't pull the grin from his face.

"Not a problem. Although, I'm sorry I can't be much help when it comes to picking out a keyboard; I just use a roll-out synthesizer. Gets the job done when I need just a bit of accompaniment for my songs." He shrugged, laughing at his own methods.

"Maybe you can come with me – help me test out a few models?" Edward asked Jasper. He called out louder down toward the opposite end of the table. "Would that be alright, Esme? Could I try out a few kinds before deciding?"

"Of course, Edward. Just let me know whenever you'd like to go, and Jasper's welcome to come along if you'd like his opinion." Esme smiled at the two boys.

Soon they were all distracted as the next course, the salads, appeared in front of them, and followed closely behind by the main course. When they'd all eaten their fill, some more than others – namely, Emmett – their dishes were cleared and they sat around the table, enjoying each other's company as conversation continued to flow. Carlisle and Esme each ordered coffee as the teenagers all dug into the giant fudge brownie and ice cream dessert that was made especially for Edward's birthday.

Back in the limo, on the way to hotel, Bella and Alice leaned against each other staring at the lights as they passed through the downtown area.

"Someone's going to have to carry me upstairs," Alice admitted through half-closed eyes. "I ate too much!"

Bella giggled quietly beside her. "Could you imagine eating as much as Emmett did?"

Alice laughed even louder at this question, capturing Jasper's attention, who was sitting on the other side of her. "I think he ate my weight in food at just dinner tonight!"

"I doubt that's very hard! You don't even weight 80 pounds!"

"92, thank you very much!" Alice huffed as she leaned back on Jasper.

"Hey! I did not each 92 pounds of food at dinner! Now, stop talking about me behind me back!" Emmett complained from the other side of the limo.

Everyone turned to look at him suspiciously.

"Alright, so maybe it was close to 92 pounds. But I'm a growing boy – I need the energy!" he refuted.

Rosalie leaned into Emmett's side as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She patted his hand before kissing his cheek and whispering in his ear, "It's alright, babe. I believe you."

"Thanks, Rosie." He beamed at her and stole a quick, chaste kiss before she laid her head against her shoulder.

Once they were all upstairs, Esme and Carlisle quickly wished all the kids a goodnight before retiring to their room. After all, Carlisle had to be up early the next morning for the conference. The boys, running off the fuel from dinner, ran to the couches in the living room, shouting at each other to bring the video games in from the other room.

"It's my birthday, I shouldn't have to," Edward argued.

"And they're technically not my games," Jasper added. "I wouldn't want anything to happen to them, Emmett."

"You guys suck!" Emmett yelled as he went to gather his video games.

Jasper threw a pillow at his retreating friend. "Gotta work off that 92 pound feast you ate some how!"

"Shut it, Whitlock!" Emmett yelled back as he caught the pillow Jasper had thrown and pegged it back. Unfortunately, Bella had chosen that time to come out of the girls' room after having changed clothes and walked right into the line of fire.

She was caught completely off balance as she tried to quickly move out of the way of the fast approaching ball of fabric. Bella tripped on the leg of the coffee table, crashing into Edward on the couch. He managed to catch her before she tumbled over the back of the couch and into the wall. Blushing furiously, Bella mumbled apologies and threatening Emmett, who'd missed it, with death.

"You alright?" Edward asked as he set her on the couch between him and Jasper.

"I'm fine. I swear, I'm not as clumsy as everyone thinks I am. Most of it is Emmett's fault!" Dramatically, she crossed her arms and leaned back against the couch cushions.

Coming out from his room, toy guitars in hand, Emmett stopped short when he saw Bella sitting on the couch. "You stole my seat, Bella!"

Everyone burst out laughing that Emmett had no idea of the ruckus he'd caused.

"You can have my seat, Em; I'm going to bed," Rosalie announced. She stood up and wished everyone a goodnight.

"I think I'm going to head to bed, too. I'm really tired," Alice said, following in Rosalie's footsteps.

Emmett, Jasper and Edward all turned to look at Bella, expectantly.

"Yea, right – and miss Guitar Hero? Game on, boys!"

"Bella's on my team!" Jasper yelled, grabbing Bella's fist and throwing both of their hands in the air.

"Not fair!" Emmett complained.

"Are you doubting me?" Edward asked, looking offended.

"No, man. But seriously, they're both so good! They're impossible to beat!"

"Well, they've never played me," Edward said, confidently as he eyed Bella and Jasper on the couch beside him.

"Bring it on, Mason," Bella said as she high-fived Jasper.

No one noticed the shift in the atmosphere except for Emmett, who immediately saw the mistake of his own that Bella had just repeated. On the end of the couch, Edward tensed but didn't say a word. Taking it upon himself to alleviate the tension, Emmett threw a guitar to Edward. "You're up first."

For about an hour they took turns playing the different songs. One person from each team played each song, switching up the matchings to ensure a fair competition. After the two renditions, they compared scores: Jasper and Bella were winning by a long shot. There had only been one song that Edward had scored better than Bella and it was the first song of the game, before they made a rule banning distractions.

"Alright, I don't need to prove myself anymore. I'm going to bed." Jasper tipped his imaginary hat as he left the room.

Bella didn't even get the chance to argue before he disappeared into his room. "What am I suppose to do now?"

"Not so confident without Jasper now, huh?" Edward teased.

"Two against one? That's not even in the realm of fair!" she argued.

"I'm going to bed, too," Emmett announced. "Too much excitement for me today. Plus, big day tomorrow. I'll see you guys in the morning."

"Emmett! Seriously?" Bella begged. She wasn't the least bit tired and hated that everyone was bailing on the game.

"You can keep playing. Just make sure you turn it off when you're done."

Just like that, Edward and Bella were alone in the living room. After a tiny, almost-awkard pause, Bella turned on the couch to look at Edward.

"What do you say?" she asked, holding up the guitar. Hopefully, she added, "Another round?"

For a moment, Edward contemplated the options. He was tired and didn't really have the energy to play another round of guitar hero, especially when it was extremely likely that Bella would beat him – again. But he wasn't ready to say goodnight to Bella. He'd hardly had the opportunity to speak with her all day because they'd always been surrounded by others.

"How about a different game?" he suggested, moving off the couch and digging through Emmett's collection.

"Scared to lose again?" Bella taunted.

Edward ignored her and instead held up another option. "Mario Kart?"

"Heck yea! I love that game!" Bella shouted before Edward shushed her. She mumbled an apology and then repeated herself, quieter.

"Don't tell me you're awesome at this game, too!" Edward said in a equally quiet tone.

"I can't help it. I'm just naturally good." Bella tilted her head, cockily and shrugged her shoulders.

"Oh, please," Edward said rolling his eyes as he gently pushed Bella.

He turned the game on and they'd only completed the first lap of the first course when they looked at each other and set the controllers down.

"Boring," Edward declared.

"TV?" Bella asked, grabbing the remote. She scanned through the channels, gathering Edward's reaction before moving on. After completing one full circuit, it was decided that there was nothing worthy on. She clicked the television off and leaned her head back against the couch, stifling a yawn.

"You're tired," Edward observed. "You should go to bed. Don't…" Edward didn't get to finish his sentence before a yawn interrupted his own body.

"You're tired," Bella mocked. "You should go to bed."

"What if I don't want to?"

"What if I did? You certainly wouldn't stay up if I weren't here."

"That's true," Edward admitted. "I just felt like I didn't get to talk to you much today."

"That's alright. There was plenty of other stuff going on," Bella said with a smile.

"I didn't to get properly thank you for my gift earlier. Or for anything for that matter, you've helped make my entire birthday special. Thank you, Bella." He spoke earnestly, capturing her gaze and holding it with his own.

"Nonsense, Edward. I didn't do anything." Bella squirmed under his intense gaze, but couldn't bring herself to look away from the burning green.

"You did, Bella. And your gift," Edward held out his wrist so she could see that he was already wearing the bracelets. "They mean the world to me. It's shocks me how well you seem to know me after such a short period of time. These are beautiful, perfect. Thank you."

Bella blushed at the compliments, not realizing herself what the gesture must have seemed like. She'd only tried to get something he'd appreciate and it had seemed like the best idea at the time. Now, though, he seemed to be reading a little far into her effort. She resigned because, after all, it was his birthday. "You're welcome, Edward."

"Oh, and the lyrics – they're perfect, as well."

Bella let out a soft laugh. "I'm glad you think so. As soon as they asked if I wanted anything engraved, it jumped in my mind. I couldn't think of anything more fitting for your eighteenth birthday."

They sat in silence for a few minutes before another yawn racked Bella's body.

"Alright," she announced, standing up. "I'm going to go to bed now."

"Me, too, then," Edward said, following her example. "See you in the morning for our adventure."

"You're not going to tell me where we're going, are you?"

"You'll see tomorrow," Edward said, smiling lazily as one side stretched farther than the other. He pushed a hand through his hair and Bella almost swooned at how boyish he looked right then. Crooked, mischievous smile and shining eyes as sleepiness clouded his features.

"Until tomorrow, then," Bella said and she disappeared into her room.

She shut the door behind her and leaned against the frame, chastising her thoughts. Almost swooning? What was going on? She'd thought she'd already made peace with the reality of her and Edward's friendship.

"You're up awfully late." Rosalie's voice pulled her from the thoughts. "Talking with Edward?"

"Uh…yea, I was. We were playing video games," Bella explained, self-conscious. What was Rosalie still doing up?

"Thought anymore about what I said?" Rosalie said.

"What you said about what?" Bella said, quietly as she sat on the edge of the bed she was sharing with Alice.

"About you and Edward." Rosalie rolled her eyes as though it were obvious.

"Bella and Edward!" Alice called out as she left the bathroom.

Bella spun around to look at the bed. She'd only thought that Alice was asleep under the covers.

"Bella and Edward, what?" she asked, annoyed at being cornered.

"You know very well what I'm talking about, now spill," Rosalie demanded as Alice bounced onto the bed beside her.

"There's nothing to spill."

"Liar."

"Rose," Alice warned.

"What?" Rosalie, asked sitting up in the bed. "It's obvious she's lying. They've been sneaking around all this time, having these private conversations when they think none of us know and you honestly believe there's nothing to spill."

"Wait," Bella interrupted their side conversation. "How do you know about that?"

"Please, Bella, you're not the only one up in the middle of the night. And you and Edward aren't exactly discrete. Or quiet," Rosalie laughed.

"Spill!" Alice demanded.

"Shhh, Alice. He's probably still awake!" Bella warned.

"What do you care if he's awake if there's nothing to spill?" she asked.

"Uh!" Bella fell back onto the bed and gathered her thoughts. "Okay, fine. There's something to spill, but I don't know what it is."

"He barely talked to you at all today, except for tonight," Rosalie pointed out.

"I know!" Bella gushed, getting into the conversation. She was happy she had someone, two someones, that she could work through all the confusion with. "I don't know why. And we really didn't talk much tonight. We were both too tired. He just thanked me for his present."

"That was an awesome present, Bella," Alice approved. "I didn't even have to help you pick it out!"

Rosalie ignored Alice's gushing since it was off topic. She gave up, realizing she wasn't going to get anymore out of Bella tonight. She'd just continue paying special attention to them like she'd been doing since the night of the party, although she'd hardly seen them together since then. "Well, you've got all day tomorrow with him to talk. You better have something good for us tomorrow night."

She turned over, crawling back down the bed, officially ending the conversation.

Until tomorrow night.

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**A/N: Chapter title comes from Regina Spektor's "The Call," which is also where the lyrics on Edward's bracelets from Bella came from.**


	31. Numb is the New Deep

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: A little later than planned, but no less fantastic, if I do say so myself. This chapter has been a long time coming for me. I think I planned it way back in chapter 9. Let's see if you can figure out what I'm talking about. And to all of you fantastic readers who've stuck with me….a whole day of Bella and Edward together. (Well almost the whole day.) Enjoy…

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**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**31 – Numb is the New Deep**

The wind was harsh and the skies gray. Bella pulled her jacket tighter across her chest as she hurried to keep up with Edward. Another four blocks, a right turn, a quick left and some odd blocks later, Bella felt surely lost in the city. She'd been here countless times before but was so unfamiliar with the area they were currently navigating. Trying to get her bearings, she looked around at the cityscape. The sun was hidden and all she saw were lifeless slate windows. Another right turn and Bella read the sign for City Hall once more.

"Edward," she called out. The wind ripped the words from her but still he managed to hear and turned around. Once she'd caught up, she asked, "Are you sure you know where we're going? That's the third time we've passed City Hall and it seemed like we keep making circle."

"I'm sure. Come on," he urged. "Just follow me."

And off they were again. Edward's long legs took him farther and father ahead as Bella struggled to keep him in her sights. She ran the last few steps, tripping over the curb, but luckily Edward was there to steady her.

"What kind of errand do you have to run in Seattle anyway? You've never even been here before." Bella held onto Edward's arm as they dodged among the others crowded on the city sidewalk.

"I have been here before," Edward argued. "It's just been awhile. You'll see, though, when we get there."

Another left, right, let with more steps thrown in and they were walking along the wharf. The throngs of people had thinned as most would not be enjoying a waterside walk on a day like today. Edward slowed his pace, almost to a crawl and Bella found herself again struggling, this time to stay in line. Every few feet Edward would stop, lean against the railing and stare out at the crossing ferries. Just as Bella would settle in beside him, she'd see his muscular forearms tense against the metal barrier as he pushed himself off and repeated the pattern.

He pulled the arms of the waterproof fleece down past his wrists, hiding his hands in the fabric. He crossed his arms over his chest, and then shoved his hands in his pockets. He pulled them out, pushed the fabric of the jacket up to his elbows then repeated the circuit.

In the short time she'd known him, Bella had never seen Edward fidget. He was also the essence of calm and collected, regardless of circumstances. Still, that's what he was doing now. One last time, Bella watched as Edward moved away from the railing – she'd long given up with keeping up – and turned back inland.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1, she counted in her head, waiting for fidgeting to turn him around.

Like clockwork he stopped, just shy of the main road. Bella had no idea what was wreaking havoc on him and she also had no idea how to stop the dangerous cycle. Edward turned back around, a determined look on his face, and walked to the water again. This time he leaned his back against the railing and faced Bella seated on the bench in front of him. He met her eyes, not really focusing, and she waited for him to explain.

He never did, though, and when he raised his arm to rake his fingers through his perfectly styled, yet messy, hair, Bella couldn't sit back any longer.

"Edward!" she reprimanded, saving his copper locks from an untimely fate. "What's going on? What are we going?"

He met her eyes again, this time actually noticing their surroundings. "Oh, crap," he muttered and took a seat next to Bella.

Shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans, he slouched down on the bench and stretched his legs out as far as he could. He closed his closed and tilted his head back toward the black heavens.

Bella had lost herself in the traveling ferries when, with a clap of thunder, the skies opened, releasing a torrential downpour on the two.

"Oh, my gosh," Bella shrieked as she ran for cover under the awning at the end of the wharf. "Edward, come on! What are you doing?" she yelled to the boy, still sitting in the rain, staring up at the sky. At her words, he didn't so much as move or look toward her. She hitched her hood over her forehead and ran back toward the bench. She grabbed his arm, urging "Come on!"

Rather lazily, Edward began to move toward the pavilion. Tired of his pace and the cold rain, Bella ran ahead to seek shelter. She sat backwards on a picnic table so she could look out at the water. When Edward finally caught up, he took a seat on the floor beside Bella's legs. They waited in silence, both catching their breaths as they watched the storm move over the city.

"Do you ever…," Edward started to ask, barely a whisper. Bella was so attuned to his every movement by now that volume did not matter. "Have you ever wanted do something more than anything, but didn't know if it was the right thing to do?"

He was still staring straight ahead, as though he hadn't said anything, as though he weren't expecting an answer. But Bella, so aware of everything about this boy beside her, noticed his breathing was shallow, nervous. He wanted a substantial answer, but wasn't going to give anymore details.

"I don't know," Bella answered slowly, thinking through her words. "I feel like I'm always trying to figure out what's right. But you never know if you don't try."

"But what if you regret it?" he asked, not looking away from the distance.

"What if you regret not doing it?" she challenged. It was more of a rhetorical question, so she quickly moved on. "You can't play that game, Edward. You can't second guess yourself."

"I don't want to make a mistake," he defended vehemently. Stressed, he ran his fingers through his rain-ravaged hair. He spoke again as he used his left hand to wrap around the bicep of his opposite arm. "I don't think they'll understand."

Bella could see the muscle tightening through the wet jacket clinging to the curves of his body. She sat in silence as his thumb rubbed circles over the material covering the sensitive skin of the underside of his arm.

"They won't understand." He sounded defeated as Bella tried to grasp the meaning of his words.

"Who won't understand? What won't they understand?" Her questions were answered with silence as Edward sat as still as a rock, save for his thumb. "Why does it matter, Edward? Why do you care so much what everyone else thinks?"

Edward let out a sigh in the breath he was holding. "I don't want them to think any less of me. I don't want to disappoint them."

"Edward." It was louder than a whisper and laced with shock. It grabbed her friend's attention and, for the first time, Edward tore his eyes away from the horizon and really looked up at the girl by his side. Bella's eyes were wide and honest. Droplets of water raced down her cheeks as her hair hung limply around her. She pulled the soaked strands away from her forehand with one hand, shaking out the twisted knots. Nervously, she twisted the ends around her fingers. She repeated, "Edward."

"Bella, I just don't –," Edward started.

"No, wait. Just listen to me for a second." Bella drew in a deep breath but looked away. "Now, I don't know exactly what you're talking about and – I'm not saying you have to tell me, I just mean that I could be completely off here. But, Edward, I admire you. Seriously, I look up to you. And I'm envious of how well you keep it together. I know you say that I didn't see you before, that you weren't always like this. But that doesn't matter. You've seen me at my worst, Edward, and I've never seen you at anything less than your best.

"And it isn't just me, you know. It's everyone. Alice, Jasper – even Carlisle and Esme. They're so proud of you, for just being you. If that's who you're worried about disappointing, well, then you can just forget it."

"Bella, I… You –"

"I'm not done yet. Whatever this is that's bothering you so much, you can tell me. If you want to, that is. Or anyone, really. We're all here for you, Edward. But none of us will try to convince you to do something you don't want to do, or talk you out of doing something you do want to do. We'll help you." Taking another deep breath, Bella turned back to face him. "Okay, now I'm done."

Edward laughed, "I forgot what I was going to say now."

"Oh, shut up. I didn't really say that much." She rolled her eyes.

"Bella, that's has to be the most I've ever heard you say at once. Really," he said earnestly, trying to keep the laughter out of his words.

"No, it wasn't! You're lying!"

"Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating. But it's up there." He laughed again before drawing quiet to gather his thoughts.

While she waited for him to begin, Bella slide off the bench and sat on the ground next to Edward. She bent her knees, mimicking Edward, and smiled at the sight of his long legs next to her shorter ones, with hardly any space between them. The heavy-with-rain denim of both their jeans blended in. She placed her hand on his leg, right above his knee, and gave a gentle, encouraging squeeze.

Edward turned to look at her and offered a small, crooked grin. "I really appreciate that, Bella; I really do. I'm not sure how you can know how much your words really mean to me. I know you're all here for me, but there are some things I think I need to work out on my own. This is one of them; I hope you can understand that."

"That's fine, Edward. Like I said, you don't have to tell me. I just meant you can."

"Thanks. But, Bella?"

She raised in eyebrows in response, indicating she was listening.

"I didn't mean I don't want you to be a part of it. That's why I was glad things worked out the way they did, with us getting to spend some time together. You're the only one I knew who would support me no matter what. Whether that's because we both understand this kind of heartbreak or not, it doesn't matter. I'm just glad to have you with me."

"Does that mean you're finally going to tell me where we're going and what we're doing?" Bella asked with a laugh.

"No. At least, not yet. But it looks like it's stopped raining enough for us to go. Do want to go back to the hotel to change?" he asked, getting to his feet and then helping Bella do the same.

She shook her head, "It's just going to keep raining. Where are we off to?"

"Nice try, but I'm not telling. Change of plans though. We're going to go to the second stop first and then come back for the original first."

"Whatever you say," Bella said with a smile, stepping out from under the pavilion. When she saw howl lightly it really was raining now, she pulled the hood back and pulled her hair into a ponytail.

The sidewalks were empty as Edward and Bella made their way across town. They made easy conversation as they maneuvered around the puddle-riddled city streets. With the lack of foot traffic, it wasn't long until Edward announced they were almost to their destination. Only a few blocks from the hotel, in a less touristy section of town, Bella noticed some of the local hangouts. Several bars, closed to the morning hour, pool halls, independent bookstores and music stores lined the streets.

"Here we are," Edward declared as he opened the door and motioned for Bella to walk inside. Without looking at the sign above the door, Bella walked inside blindly with Edward right behind her.

Bella found herself along the left wall in a very bright, very open room. The wall right beside her, while painted white, was covered in artwork. Some pieces were black and white, others in muted colors. There were several plush leather couches and chairs, interspersed with glass end tables, and centered around a matching glass coffee table. On the opposite side of the large room was a smaller setup, but consisted of the same furniture and black wrought iron tables. Bella followed Edward as he walked towards a counter in the opposite corner. Behind the counter and along each wall, there were openings, but no doors. Instead, dark red curtains covered the holes. Bella couldn't see anything past the curtains, but she could hear voices and noises coming from behind the only closed curtains. The others were all pulled to one side and tied with gold rope.

"Hey. How you guys doing today?" a man asked as he entered the room from behind one of the curtains on the opposite side of the counter. He wore his dark hair long, twisted into dreadlocks. The top layer was pulled back, revealing with dark eyes which were taking in the appearances of Edward and Bella before him. His words, while polite, lacked any emotion as though he were holding off pleasantries until he'd made his judgment. He wore a light gray t-shirt under a brown vest, which completed his olive skin. The material was cut way from his neck and Bella could see the outline of the dark ink that marked a tattoo on his chest.

She turned around quickly, taking in the artwork on the walls once again and this time, she noticed the pictures that lined the back wall. Turning back toward Edward she grabbed his arm and whispered to him, "You're getting a tattoo?"

Edward simply nodded as he walked closer to the counter and stuck out his hand to the man. "I'm Edward Masen."

Realization dawned on the man's eyes and he smiled for the first time. His parted lips revealed white teeth and Bella could finally see his kindness. As he grasped Edward's hand in a firm shake, Bella could see the outline of another tattoo on his bicep. "I am Laurent," he said, releasing Edward's hand. "I see you got caught in the rain before."

Edward laughed. "You'd think we'd be used to the weather by now."

"You never get used to constant rain. And if you do, I pity you," Laurent said with a sad smile. Changing the subject, he said, "So Edward, tell me more about this design you have in mind."

Bella watched as Edward reached into his back pocket and removed his wallet. From the center folds, he took out a wrinkled piece of paper and laid it on the table before replacing the wallet. He flattened it out and pushed it across the glass for Laurent to see more clearly. "It's really just a rough design. I was hoping you might be able to refine it."

"Like I said before, that's not a problem." He picked up the paper before Bella could get a good look at the design that Edward was planning to mark his body with. "Why don't you tell me a bit about it before make any changes. Anything specific you were going for?"

"Well," Edward started as Laurent put the drawing back down. He turned it sideways so they could both look at it together. From the top of the design, Bella could now see it was the drawing that she'd seen in Edward's room not even 48 hours before. At the time, she hadn't been able to make sense of the design, and now was no different. Although this time, she noticed its true direction. The other night she'd looked at the design with a horizontal axis and now it was vertical.

"Well, it's a '3' and an 'E,' but I wanted it to be a bit more intricate than that. I liked the symmetry of it, but didn't want mirror images," Edward explained as he ran his fingers over the crumpled paper.

"Alright, I see what you're saying. So maybe the '3' with hard edges, but the 'E' with rounded corners? Or vice versa?" Laurent asked.

"Exactly," Edward said, a wide smile playing on his lips.

"I'm going to see what I can do. Give me about ten minutes then we'll talk. Just have a seat – I'll be right back." With a nod, he disappeared behind the red curtain he'd emerged from and now Bella could see the desk and computer, designating it office space.

Bella stared up at Edward in disbelief. He shot her a sly smirk before taking a seat on one of the couches. After a minute watching after him, Bella followed suite, taking a seat next to Edward, but facing him with her legs tucked under her.

"A tattoo?" she asked.

"A tattoo," he confirmed.

"Cool," Bella said, redoing her ponytail and turning to sit normally on the couch.

"That's it?" Edward asked. "'Cool?'"

"Yup," she said, popping the 'p.'

"No questions asked?"

"Nope," she repeated the same sound.

"Bella, seriously? I get no reaction from you for this?"

"You said it yourself; I'd support you no matter what." She shrugged her shoulders, leaning back into the smooth fabric.

Edward nodded but didn't say anything. He was glad that Bella wasn't giving him a hard time about his decision, but he'd expected more of a reaction from her. Usually, his inability to guess her reaction or thoughts granted him pleasant surprise. However, this time, he was feeling a bit uneasy. Several minutes based before either spoke again.

"I'm kidding, Edward!" she playfully slapped his arm. "I mean, I do think it's cool, but I can't believe you didn't tell me before!"

Edward let out a deep breath, thankful. "I didn't want you to talk me out of it."

"Is this what you were talking about before? You were worried you were making a mistake by getting a tattoo?"

"No, that's for the next stop. I was planning on getting this either way, but I thought it might help to get it done first."

"You're still not going to tell me where we're going next, are you?" Bella asked, hopeful.

"No, I'm not."

"Will you at least tell me what that design is you're getting? It's the same one I saw in your room – wait! This is what you meant by I'd find out soon enough!" After going to bed that night, Bella had almost entirely forgotten about seeing the design and the entire night came flooding back into her mind. Including how dangerously close she'd come to kissing Edward again. Thank goodness she hadn't remembered that when Alice and Rosalie had attacked her with questions regarding her and Edward's relationship the night before.

"It is," he said with a smile. "Like I said, it's a '3' and an 'E.'"

"Yea, but what's it mean?" Bella asked curious. Though she didn't have any friends with tattoos, she'd always imagined the stories people had behind their ink. She liked how bodies could tell a story without words.

"It's for my family," Edward said, quietly. "For our names. My father was Edward, Senior and my mother Elizabeth. Together, three E's. I just wanted a way to never forget that we were a family."

"You're not going to forget them," Bella answered his unspoken fear.

"Regardless, it's my tribute to them. To us," he said as his smile returned.

"Where are you getting it?" Bella asked, catching Edward's drift and moving the conversation down a less serious path.

Edward lifted his right arm and rubbed the underside of his bicep. Immediately, Bella understood why he'd been rubbing the skin earlier in the day. He knew what was coming.

Bella was about to open to her mouth to comment when Laurent came out from the back. "Alright, Edward, let's get started!"

Coming around the counter, he led them past the curtain in the very back of the room. Inside, the walls were decorated with little ink artwork, unlike the ones in the reception area. Instead, the walls were beautifully decorated with large paintings in gold frames spread across the white paint.

"These are beautiful," Bella commented, looking a picture of a forest covered in fog.

"Thanks. Did that one sometime ago," Laurent said as he handed several pieces of paper to Edward.

"You painted this?" Bella asked, incredulously.

"I am an artist," he replied with a smile before turning back to his costumer. "Which one do you like?"

For several minutes, Edward and Lauren discussed the differences between the different sketches before settling on the one that matched Edward's original the best. There was little flourish to the design, only the number and letter. Bella lost herself in the Polaroid's that lined the back wall. There were columns of two pictures up and down the wall. In the left was a photo of the costumer, sitting at Laurent's work bench, and in the right, a close up of the tattoo.

"So is this going to be a two-for-one, little lady?" Laurent asked as he readied his materials.

"What?" Bella asked turning around. When she understood his meaning, a blush crept its way to her cheeks. She laughed nervously, before slowly saying, "No. I don't think so."

"You just say the word," Laurent said with a wink before turning back to Edward, who was lying down with his arm above his head. "You need your girlfriend to hold your hand for the pain?"

Bella turned back around and was met by a shirtless Edward. Her breathing hitched as she took in the sight of the man before her. Earlier he'd looked like a lost little boy, fighting for his way, but now, with that happiest grin she'd ever seen, he looked like a man celebrating. She stammered, "Uhh…We're not….I'm not his girlfriend."

Laurent shrugged. "Doesn't mean this won't hurt."

Bella turned to Edward, asking him silently. He said, "I think I'll be alright."

"Your choice. You ready?"

With consent from Edward, Laurent sent to work making Edward's wishes a reality through the ink on his body. At the first sign of the tools, Bella herself flinched and Edward tried to smile her fear away. But when the needle's point came in contact with his skin, his smile faltered. Bella took a step forward, offering her hand, but Edward shook his head. She turned around then, wanting to spare him the pain of a wounded ego since she could do nothing for the other pain, and took a seat in the chair at the far end of the room. She opened the book lying on the table and flipped through all the designs Laurent had put together.

It was arranged by theme and Bella found herself lost in the pages that housed the star sketches. She'd never known so many different depictions of stars existed. Her fingers traced over a simple and delicate red outline of star. She could just imagine it gracing the inside of a girl's wrist. She continued to flip, seeing shooting stars, clusters of stars, nautical stars and colored stars.

She was pulled from her concentration when she heard Edward grunt. She looked up in time to see him squeeze his eyes shut and grind his teeth. She put the book down and made her way over to his side. His eyes were still closed and his fists clenched.

"Hey, man. Gotta unlock that. I need your muscle relaxed," Laurent instructed. Carefully, Edward opened his right fist and Laurent watched at the blood rushed through his extremities. "Alright, good. Not too much longer now."

Bella stole a look at the unfinished product. Edward's skin was red and raw, but she could see the beginnings of the design. Laurent put the machine back to the rough skin and, wish a buzzing noise, began to work again. Edward grunted again, squeezing his left fist tighter, but keeping his right open. Sweat was beading on his forehead on his chest.

Bella put one of her cool hands on Edward's shoulder and the other on his wrist. At the feel of her hands on his body, Edward calmed and opened his eyes.

"Does it hurt?" Bella asked, smiling down at her friend.

Edward thought a moment while he opened his wrist and slid his hand into Bella's. With a gentle squeeze, he said, "Not in comparison."

Forty-five minutes later, Edward had posed for his own picture and watched as Laurent hung it on the hall among the others. His arm was now bandaged as he and Bella were laughing as they made their way back across town.

"I can't believe it's going to take so long to heal. I want to see it already!" Bella exclaimed.

"It doesn't look like much now except for raw, bleeding skin. You want to see that?" Edward teased as Bella made a face.

"What will Esme and Carlisle say when they see it?" Bella asked.

"Let's wait awhile until we find out."

"Seriously? You're not going to tell them?"

"I hadn't been planning on it. I mean, I'm not going to lie about it, but I don't think they're really going to be happy about it. At least not having talked to them first. But I'm 18 now, I can do what I want," he said, faux defiantly.

"Oh, please! You're 18 and a day! Hardly the daredevil."

"I didn't see you getting a tattoo!"

"Because I'm not 18!" Bella yelled as she pushed him away from her.

"Oh, so you're saying you would have if you were 18? You heard Laurent – he was ready to do yours next!" Edward laughed, remembering Bella's reaction to Laurent's previous words.

"We'll see," Bella said with a coy smile. She laughed and changed the subject before Edward could interrogate her more about her tattoo. "Where are we going now?"

Edward shook his head. "You'll see."

The sun was starting to peak around the dark clouds and the streets were more crowded now that it wasn't raining. In the distance, though, more storm clouds could be seen approaching the city. Because of the tattoo parlor's proximity to the hotel, they continued along the same path they'd first started out that morning. Yet this time, they didn't walk around in circles. Bella recognized the familiar buildings in the new light and was a little surprised to see Edward start up the steps of City Hall.

"Edward!" she shouted after him. He turned around and looked at her as she climbed the stairs. "Is this where we were headed all along? Why did we walk in circles in this morning?"

"I couldn't make up my mind. Hence, my breakdown at the wharf." He shrugged and continued inside.

"What are you doing here?" Bella asked in a hushed voice when they were inside.

Even though it was a Saturday afternoon, there was still plenty of activity going on inside the government building and she didn't want to disturb those working. Edward didn't give an answer as they reached the elevator and headed to the fifth floor.

"Wait here," he instructed as they passed a waiting area after exiting the lift.

"Where are you going? What are you doing?"

"Bella," he said, grabbing her arms and looking her in the eye. "Trust me, it's better if you just wait. I don't want you to know what I'm doing before. I'm not going to ask you to lie to Carlisle and Esme. I wouldn't put you in that position, besides, you can't lie." He laughed as he let go and turned away.

Bella had no choice but to accept what Edward was telling her. She took a seat and flipped through the offering of magazines on the coffee table. While waiting for Edward, she read some of the best places dining, shopping and sight seeing in the city. She was reading an article about the concert series held at Marymoor Park every summer, the same concert series they would be attending later in the day, thanks to Jasper, when Edward walked back down the hallway, whistling.

His hands were in his pockets and he smiled at Bella as he passed. She quickly gathered her things and followed him back to the elevator. She waited expectantly, but quietly. When the doors closed, he pulled a hand from its place in his jeans' pocket and held it out to her. He wasn't looked at her and he was still whistling. She took small rectangle he was holing and looked at it.

She recognized the magnetic stripe and codes written on the back and flipped it over, seeing a smiling picture of Edward looking up her. "You got a new license? What's the big deal?"

Edward ignored her and continued whistling.

"Edward. A license?"

He stopped whistling long enough to look at her meaningful before turning back away and resuming the tune. She didn't know what the look meant, but could only assume there was something she was missing. Quickly, she looked at the card again. On the right was a picture of Edward from today. Stamped over his hair on the laminate card was the Washington state seal. There was the license number and expiration date on the top. Followed by his current address. Cullen, Edward Anthony at 654 Riverview Way, Forks, WA 98331. His date of birth was marked largely underneath descriptions of his stature and physical appearance.

"Read it carefully," Edward instructed finishing his song. Bella read over the information again, not catching on.

"It's a license, Edward." He handed over another piece of paper. Bella unfolded it and quickly noted it was a legal document. At the bottom of the page, Edward had signed his name twice. Thinking this was strange, Bella looked closer and read the fine print beneath the lines. Before she could read more than the word 'signature,' she noticed that the two were different. The same elegant script that she immediately recognized as Edward's had written both but the top read 'Edward A. Masen' whereas the bottom was 'Edward A. Cullen.'

"Edward!" She looked at the license again. Edward Cullen. Switching her focus to the legal document again, she read the title across the top. It was a name change form. "You changed your name!"

"That's why I didn't want you to know before."

"So I couldn't talk you out of it? Edward, this is insane." The elevator chimed, announcing their arrival at the ground floor. The doors opened and Bella followed Edward towards the dark outside. The sun had once again sought refuge behind the dark clouds. "Edward!"

"I had to, Bella," he pleaded. "I told you no one would understand."

"Then explain it to me! How do you expect me to understand if you don't tell me anything?"

"I asked Carlisle to adopt me. Did you know that?" He stopped walking at the next block and sat down on a free bench.

"No. When?"

"When we were in Italy. He told me I was family enough already. But it wasn't because I was trying to replace him. I just couldn't go on being a Masen when I'm the only one left."

"No, Edward. You aren't the only –"

"But I am, Bella. My name was a constant reminder of everything I'd lost. I don't need a reminder. I'm not going to forget. It just….it felt like a curse." He hung his head in his hands and tore at the ends of his hair.

Bella placed a hand on his shoulder. "I get it, Edward."

"You do?" He looked up.

"Why do you think I stayed with the Cullen's for as long as I did instead of going home? My father is a walking reminder. I figured my pain was enough of a reminder; I didn't need to feel it every time I looked at him, every time I looked at anything in my house, when I was already feeling it. I get it, Edward. I do."

"Thanks, Bella."

"Good luck explaining that one to Carlisle and Esme," she said, standing.

"Maybe I should lead with the tattoo," he mused, laughing. He checked his watch. "Ready to head to Marymoor? It's a bit of a ways."

"Let's go! Ben Harper awaits!"

Before the others had headed out for the day, they'd arranged to meet at Marymoor Park at 3. Because it was much farther from the center of the city and no one would be near each other during the day, they didn't see any sense in meeting at the hotel first. Bella and Edward decided that they'd walk to the first ferry station and would get a cab on the other side. They were walking through an area of town that neither was familiar with. The wind was picking up and they were getting nervous they wouldn't make it to the ferry before it started to rain. Hedging their bets, they ducked inside a store and asked the cashier the quickest way to the ferry. She explained an easy short cut, one that would take them into a nicer section of town.

Bella was holding onto Edward's arm as he led the way, rushing to make it before the storm started. The wind was stinging Bella's eyes so she kept her head down. She lifted her head to brush her hair away when she looked up and for the first time, focused on the buildings around her. This was a part of town that she was familiar with. She slowed her pace, causing Edward to drag her along as she bit her lip in preparation of the building she was about to see.

"Edward," she called out when she spotted the valet outside the Captain's Resort.

He turned and looked to her. As soon as he'd taken in the frightened look on her face, he was by her side. "Bella, what is it?"

"I…That's…" Bella didn't want to tell Edward what she was seeing. She didn't want to talk about her mom.

Suddenly, Laurent's words from earlier repeated in her mind. "You never get used to constant rain, and, if you do, I pity you." They faded and were soon replaced by Edward's. "Not in comparison."

"Edward."

"What, Bella? What is it?" He was nervous by her sudden change in demeanor, but he felt more confident now that her eyes were focusing on his instead of down the street, off in the distance.

"Can we take Laurent up on his offer?" she asked with a smile.

"Can we….you want to get a tattoo?"

Bella nodded.

"Now?"

She nodded again and turned around, this time pulling Edward along.

"Are you sure about this, Bella?"

"Do you still feel the pain of losing your parents?" she asked, completely ignoring his question.

She'd been kind enough to indulge him earlier in the day and Edward could only think to offer Bella the same kindness. "Of course, I do. It doesn't just go away. Even after I've accepted that they're not coming back."

"Can't you just ignore the pain?"

"Sure, it feels like hell. But I have to let myself feel it. One day, maybe it won't hurt so much." He gave her the only answer he could. He didn't know what she was getting at, he didn't know what had caused the sudden change in heart, and he had a feeling she wasn't going to tell him. "Bella, are you sure you want to do this? Are you sure you're not just making a rash decision?"

Bella shrugged. "I've always thought about getting a tattoo. I know it doesn't really seem like me, but –"

"If it's something you want, Bella, then it doesn't matter whether it seems like you or not. It is you. What you do on your own, that's who you are. If you want this, if you're doing it for yourself and no one else, then you can count me in." He pulled her back, effectively stopping her for a moment before he smiled. "I'll even hold your hand from the start."

"Hey! You were the one who refused!"

"Thought I was tougher than I was," he said with a shrug. He wrapped his arm around Bella's shoulders and pulled her into his side. "I'm here for you, Bella."

Now on the opposite side of town from they wanted to go, and not owning the required patience to walk, they easily hailed a cab. En route, Edward sent a text message to Alice, saying they got held up and were going to be late. Bella promised him from saying any more, claiming she wasn't ready to tell anyone else about the imminent body art. Neither thought there would be much argument about the excuse seeing as how a monsoon was only moments away.

When they walked back into the tattoo parlor, named The Lounge as Bella now saw on the sign, Laurent immediately walked from the back. "Something tells me you're not here for you, Edward."

"That's right," Bella said confidently although her voice was a bit shaky.

"You want a matching one?" he asked with a laugh.

"I was hoping for something a bit more delicate?" she offered.

"What'd you have in mind?" Laurent asked, leading her back to his work room. Quietly, Edward followed behind.

Easily, Bella found the delicate star she'd seen earlier and showed it to Laurent. She pointed to the inside of her left wrist when he asked where she wanted it and even when he warned that was an especially sensitive spot, Bella remained brave. She took a seat on the bench that Edward had been laying on, only hours before. Her arm was resting a table, so Laurent would have a steady work space. Edward climbed on the bench next to her and held her other hand in her lap. Bella decided she didn't want the color and that she wanted her star smaller than the original design, but it was no problem for Laurent.

It took only ten minutes to finish the design on Bella's skin and after wiping the blood away, Laurent took Bella's picture and a picture of the star. He placed the Polaroid's next to Edward's on the wall before wishing them a good day for the final time. Bella's wrist was bandaged tightly and she easily managed to hide it inside the arm of her jacket so it wouldn't raise any suspicions. For now, at least.

Having barely lost any time, and still without rain, Edward and Bella were in a giddy mood when they left The Lounge. Once again, they held off on getting a cab to Marymoor and started the walk to the ferry station. Halfway there, though, the skies opened, catching them in a downpour for the second time that day.

* * *

**A/N: The title comes from John Mayer's "New Deep," which also has a pretty great line about stars and I think fits pretty perfectly. Alas, this one won out. Now tell me, love it or hate it? There are so many of you who I haven't heard from in awhile – are you still there? Still reading? Let me know. 'Cause I miss you. **


	32. Illuminate the Exit Signs

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**.**

**A/N: First, you all really just amaze me. Continuously. Thank you for loving this story as much as you do, for staying with it as long as you have, and for putting up with my inability to stick to a schedule. The last chapter received the most reviews, and I was really surprised to all your reactions. Like I said before, it was a chapter a long time in the making for me, but I'd never really thought about how it would be received. Even when I throw you all for a bit of a loop with something not really expected, you amaze me with how you take in and then let me know what you thought. I really appreciate you all sharing your own insights about the story and characters. You are all a bigger part of this than you know!**

**I heard from new readers and old readers a like with the last update. To those of you who've been with me from the beginning...thanks for making it this far! And to those of you have recently joined this journey, I'm amazed at your ability to make it through those thirty chapters and catch up. I'm so happy to have you along...thanks! To all the people who reviewed last chapter, or previously, thank you! You have no idea what it means to read your thoughts/opinions/suggestions. I really do appreciate every last word you write. I always respond to all the reviews, it sometimes takes me longer since things are so crazy. But I will get back to every single one of you; I love being able to get to know you all better! To those who haven't reviewed, I love having you along as readers and you deserve every last bit of thanks for hanging in there, as well. If you ever feel compelled to leave a review, I'd love to hear from you. You can tell me anything you'd like in your reviews...I don't mind the hostility about my lack of scheduled/regular updates; I hate it, too! Let me know your favorite parts, if you want to see more of Jasper, or if you want to take guesses about how Carlisle and Esme will react to the name change and tattoo!**

**Finally, it just goes to show that you really can't trust me. I said I was going to put all of Seattle into one chapter, and here I am, giving you the third part. I know that I'm just updating after a bit of a break (to say the least), and I'm sorry. I'm constantly working on the next chapter and I do update as soon as I can, but things have been very crazy lately. It may not seem like it, but we are starting to get the home stretch. (I know what some of you are thinking...FINALLY, after 31 chapters!) We've still got quite a few chapters left, but we're at that point where I need to make sure I'm covering all my bases. So please, just bear with me.**

**Now, after that extremely long note, that most of you probably didn't like, ENJOY...  
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**Best Definition of Good Intentions  
32 – Illuminate the Exit Signs**

Hailing a cab was difficult in the weather they were currently suffering from. Finally, they made it the ferry just moments before it pulled away. The storm was only getting worse as time went on. Unlike the rain they'd gotten caught in earlier in the day, this wasn't a shower and showed no signs of passing over quietly. Thunder and lightning were alternating, shaking and lighting the sky. Edward and Bella collapsed onto the first two open seats they found, trying to catch their breath and wring the water from their clothes. The crowds around them were loud, but to both, the din was merely a dull roar as the past few hours caught up with their bodies. The adrenaline rushes and excitement their decisions had caused and the pain that had caused their decisions had taken a toll on their bodies. Sinking low into their seats, they were both quiet, as they reserved their strength and energy for the rest of the day.

Half-way across Lake Washington, an announcement rang out over the ferry's PA system. "Due to extreme weather conditions, the ferry will be making one last pass to the west side of the lake. It will not return to the east side until the storm has passed. Please be aware that you will be unable to return via ferry once you exit the vessel."

Bella turned and, with a scared look in her eye, looked at Edward. He reassured her as thunder clapped over the dark water, "By the time the concert is over, I'm sure the ferries will be open again. If not, we'll just catch cabs or call the car service."

Bella nodded before settling back into her seat for the rest of the journey. What seemed like moments later to her, Edward stood and helped Bella to her feet. He followed closely behind, with one hand on the small of her back as she led him through the crowds. The rain was still coming down hard as they left the shelter. Everyone around them was hurrying along, trying to seek cover as quickly as they could. When Bella lifted her head after pulling her hood on, she saw Alice towering above the crowd through the rain.

"Alice!" Bella screamed. Edward followed her gaze in time to watch Alice climb down from Emmett's shoulders and hurry towards them. Once again, Edward fell in step behind Bella as the two groups converged, struggling to stay together through the mass of people. Alice, tiny as she was, danced among the people as Emmett's bulky frame had much more difficulty.

"What are you guys doing here?" Bella asked, having to shout to be heard about the storm. She didn't want for an answer before trying to brush past Alice. "Come on, let's get out of the rain."

"Bella, wait!" Alice shouted after her, reaching out to grab her best friend's wrist.

Twisting around, with the pain evident on her delicate features, Bella cursed under her breath. "Alice, let go."

Shocked, Alice loosened her grip and looked down at where her hand wrapped around Bella's wrist. Peeking out from beneath the sleeve of her jacket, Alice saw the white bandage, dark from rain, that gripped Bella's wrist. "Bella! What happened?"

Much like Alice's, Bella's eyes were focuses on the bandaged. Quickly, she pulled her hand away and covered the bandage with her jacket sleeve. A bright blush flushed her cheeks as she lied. "Nothing."

"That's not nothing, Bella. Did you hurt your wrist? What happened?" Alice was nothing but concerned. She hardly applied any pressure around Bella's arm, but it had obviously hurt badly.

Bowing her head, Bella stammered, "Nothing...it's noth...don't worry about it."

Swiftly, Edward stepped between them, covering for Bella. "She fell earlier and hurt her wrist. But it's really okay, she'll be fine. It was just a scrape."

"Oh," Alice's face fell. Just a simple explanation, why wouldn't Bella have just admitted it? It wasn't like it was uncommon for Bella to injure herself. Alice's eyes danced from Edward to Bella, who was still staring at the ground, and back to Edward. "Is that why you were late?"

"I sent you a text. I told you we were going to be late," Edward tried to change the subject.

"Like an hour ago! We've been trying to call you for the last half hour, to tell you not to come. The concert's canceled because of the weather," Alice explained.

"Canceled?" Bella repeated as Edward pulled out his phone. Sure enough, three missed calls. He shrugged them off, assuming he wouldn't have heard them because of the loud storm. "What are we going to do now?"

Jasper, after having finally caught up, stepped forward. "How about we decide on the ferry, since, you know, this is the last one? I'd rather not get stuck here."

The others all nodded in agreement and moved toward the vessel, allowing themselves to get swept up in the current of the surroundings. The inside of the ferry was crowded since everyone was avoiding the inclement weather on the upper and outer decks. Following Alice, they descended the stairs to the sub-level. It wasn't as crowded down there, but they still couldn't find enough room for the six of them to sit together. However, on opposite sides of the cabin, there was enough room for them to split up into two groups.

"Come on, Bella. I want to hear about your day!" Alice gushed, pulling Bella and Rosalie to one side, leaving the other to the guys. Bella turned back while being dragged away, helpless. Edward just shrugged and hoped Bella would be able to deflect the questions about their whereabouts that day.

Alice stared across the aisle until she saw Emmett crack a joke that caused Jasper and Edward to laugh. They were effectively lost to the world around them as they fell into easy conversation. Alice turned toward Bella, who was sitting between her and Rosalie, and said, "Spill."

For a moment, Bella was quiet. Then she realized Alice was talking to her. Uncomfortable with the attention, she blushed. "Spill what?"

"What were you and Edward doing today? How'd you hurt your wrist? What's going on with the two of you?" she asked at rapid-fire speed.

"I hope you realize I can't answer all those questions at once," Bella said annoyed. She knew Edward didn't want the others to know that he'd gotten a tattoo or that he'd changed his name and Bella certainly didn't want them to know that she'd gotten a tattoo. That was just too much attention she would be purposefully calling upon herself. How was she suppose to avoid this conversation?

"Stop stalling and spill," Alice demanded, without a hint of humor in her voice.

Bella turned to look at Rosalie, hoping she could offer some help. Rosalie offered a sympathetic smile and said to Alice, "I thought we already knew what happened to her wrist. Edward said she fell."

"Oh, please," Alice said with an eye roll. "Edward was covering for her; it was obvious! Even without words, Bella is a horrible liar. Now, spill: what really happened?"

Rosalie smiled again at Bella, hoping to tell her she tried, but Bella's head had fallen forward. She'd taken her hair down to dry when she'd removed the hood and now it fell over her face. Neither Rosalie nor Alice could the see the panic in her eyes or the blush on her cheeks as she tried to figure her way out of this one. Not having enough time to come up with a new story, Bella stuck to Edward's words. "It was just really much more embarrassing than Edward made it out to be. He just spared the details."

When her words were met with silence, Bella looked up to Alice. She looked unsure whether to believe Bella's embarrassing or not. It was like Bella to fall and be embarrassed, but there was still something there that wasn't being said. Could it be that it was just a mortifying situation she'd rather not retell?

Sensing Alice's hesitation to believe her, Bella sacrificed herself. Mentally, she promised herself that she would make Edward pay for this. "I was just so embarrassed he saw."

And thus started Alice's incessant chatter regarding the budding relationship between Bella and Edward.

The crowded ferry ride took longer than normal. Wary of the rain and choppy waves, the captain slowed their speed. Bella sat with her arms crossed, left wrist carefully blocked by her right arm to prevent any one from getting a glimpse at the covered tattoo. She was eyeing Edward across the aisle. People moved into her eye's path, but she didn't dare move her head. She was getting enough grief from Alice and Rosalie as it was.

"Give it a rest, Alice. There's nothing going on between me and Edward," Bella said, closing her eyes and sighing.

"I don't know, Bella. You guys seems to just be drawn to one another." Alice looked to Rosalie for confirmation.

Before Rosalie could say a word, Bella spoke. "Don't be ridiculous. Neither of us wants to feel like a third wheel to you guys. That's why we always end up together. It doesn't mean anything."

"But he invited you to go with him today! There has to be a reason."

"There is: we're friends. Besides, I didn't want to go shopping or look at cards – he was just being nice by inviting me alone."

Rosalie mumbled, "That does make sense."

"No, Rose!" Alice protested before turning back to Bella. "Just because there's nothing going on now doesn't mean there won't be. You do like Edward, don't you, Bella?"

"We're just friends, Alice," Bella said turning her head, hoping Alice would take the hint that the conversation was over.

"That doesn't answer the question."

"I don't know what you want me to say. Yeah, I think Edward's gorgeous and sweet and nice. But there's noting going on between us. Edward doesn't like me like that." Bella had given up and decided giving in to Alice's interrogation was easier.

"But you do like him like that." It wasn't a question. Alice was good at reading between the lines.

"Ugh. I wouldn't – okay, so I won't be opposed to the idea."

Alice squealed and clapped her hands, attracting the attention of the nearby passengers, including the boys. "I knew it! That's so exciting! I'm so happy for you, Bella!"

Rosalie, noticing how the stares were causing Bella's cheeks to burn red, quieted Alice but still smiled excitedly at Bella.

"Alice!" Bella chastised. "There's noting to be excited about! There's nothing going on between Edward and me."

Content that Bella had at least admitted her feelings, Alice finally hushed and sat back in her seat, pulling her legs up underneath her. Immediately, she launched into a description of everything she'd bought that day. Bella tuned out the majority of her best friend's words, reveling in the relief that they weren't talking about her anymore. Across the aisle, she felt Edward's stare and looked up to meet his gaze. He furrowed his eyebrows in concern. Bella rolled her eyes and shook her head slightly to let him know no harm had been done. He smiled back – a soft, sad, sympathetic smile that nearly broke Bella's heart because of the true care behind it.

Bella turned her head back to her friends when she felt Rosalie kick her leg away from Alice's sight. Blushing shyly, Bella tuned back into Alice's description of the dress she bought in preparation for the homecoming dance in the fall after Rosalie offered an encouraging smile.

Saving Edward from embarrassment, Bella had turned before she caught sight of Jasper observing their silent exchange. He whispered to Edward, "You've got it bad."

Edward's only response was to neither confirm nor deny Jasper's allegation, but to hang his head in his hands while he waited for the ferry to dock.

It was still raining when the group exited the ferry and rushed to hail cabs. Their hotel wasn't too far from the ferry station, but they didn't want to be out in the poor weather anymore than necessary. It was expected that Carlisle wasn't in, but Esme wasn't in sight either. Instead, Emmett found a note on the counter and read aloud his parents' dinner plans while everyone else was drying off and changing.

"I guess we're on our own for dinner tonight," Alice said coming out of her room with the other girls, all dressed similarly in sweats.

"Can't we just order a pizza or room service or something? I don't know about you guys, but I don't want to go back out in that weather," Bella complained, stretching out on the couch next to Alice.

"Actually, it looks like the rain is starting to let up," Rosalie said as she peered out the window to the Seattle streets below.

Alice jumped up from the couch at the possibility of going out. "We can go to Revolution! Remember that ad we saw, Jazz?"

Jasper nodded his head. "It actually looks pretty cool. Just down the street and I think they usually have a bunch of bands or events going on every night – kind of like a local House of Blues, Hard Rock type place."

"Sounds pretty cool to me," Emmett said with a shrug, pulling Rosalie onto his lap as he sat down. Rosalie nodded her consent. "Edward?"

"Let's go!" he said enthusiastically.

"Alright," Bella sighed. "But first I'm going to take a shower."

Edward panicked at Bella rose from the couch and was about to disappear into her room. He didn't want to call her out since Bella didn't want anyone else to know about the tattoo yet, but he didn't want to risk her forgetting she couldn't take a shower yet. Thinking quickly, he said, "Is a shower really necessary? You're just going to go back out in the rain. Besides, I'm hungry, let's just go now."

Bella turned around, shocked at Edward's rude words. He made a show of calling attention to his wrist, inconspicuously, so Bella understood what he really meant. "Oh, I guess you're right. I do need to change out of sweats though."

"Me, too!" Alice called out and followed after Bella, Rosalie hot on her heels. "I'll help you pick out something to wear, Bella!"

Once they were safely inside their room, Bella ignored her two friends, glamorous even in sweatpants. Instead, she rummaged through her bag in search of something more appropriate to wear.

"Red?" Rosalie asked, holding up a revealing shirt to Alice. Bella kept her head down as she pulled her favorite pair of jeans from the bottom of the bag.

"Too flashy," Alice dismissed and held up a babydoll tank from her bag. "What about green?"

"I like green. What do you think – with this sweater?" Rosalie placed the sweater on the bed next to the tank top which earned a series of claps from Alice, who gathered both items in her hands and turned to Bella.

"Here, Bella, put this on. You'll look so cute – oh, Bella! You look great in that shirt!" For the first time since they'd entered the room, Alice and Rosalie paid attention to Bella.

Her jeans still lay on the bed, a pile of twisted denim, but she'd traded her oversized night shirt for navy blue v-neck tank. The wide straps gave way to a loose ruffle over the neckline, accentuating her pale skin. The shirt clung to her curves, stopping an inch above the low-rise, baggy sweat pants.

"I'm so impressed, Bella," Alice beamed, handing Bella her jeans.

"You know I am capable of dressing myself. I was doing it everyday before I met you, Alice. Now, want to tell me why you and Rosalie are so keen to dress me tonight?" Bella first looked to Rosalie who just shook her head. This was a matter between best friends and she didn't want to overstep her boundaries, considering her friendship with Bella was still relatively new and somewhat fragile.

"For Edward, of course! Now's your chance, Bella. You can see how he feels about you. Here, wear this over that." Once Bella had replaced the sweats with the jeans, Alice handed her the same sweater Rosalie had matched with the green tank top the duo had originally picked for Bella.

Without complaint, Bella slid the soft cream cardigan over her shoulders before disappearing into the bathroom. Her hair fell softly around her shoulders in gentle waves as she tugged the brunette strands free from the elastic. "Alice, really, just leave it alone."

"I'm just saying that I don't think it would hurt to flirt a little!" Alice was now pulling the green tank, once meant for Bella, over her head. She looked over to Rosalie in the corner, changed and touching up her makeup, for reassurance. Rosalie still shook her head, her blonde curls dancing around her face, refusing to get involved.

Bella turned, exasperated. "Please, just let me do this on my own."

Bella wanted nothing more than to let the entire situation with Edward diffuse. She'd never meant for Alice to really learn about her growing feelings for Edward when she'd only just begun to recognize them herself. They couldn't possibly have reciprocal feelings for one another – not when they were both so broken. They were friends. And while Bella appreciated every second of friendship Edward awarded her, she could never hope for something more to grow from it.

After a quick concession from Alice, the three girls made their way back to the living room where the boys were waiting. A short walk later, they were seated in a round booth in Revolution Bar and Grill, just as the first act was taking the stage. A Battle of the Bands event was taking place which engrossed Jasper, Bella and even Edward during the meal while Rosalie and Emmett whispered among themselves, bored. Alice was left alone.

Knowing better than to disrupt her boyfriend when he was in the music zone, Alice reverted to stealing the attention of Edward on her other side. Bella was only vaguely aware of the two talking but she was just as excited as Jasper about the bands and music about couldn't be bothered to get worked up about all the possible stories Alice was weaving, designed to show Edward the light in regards to his love for her. A couple of sly glances during set changes and Bella was convinced it was just a friendly conversation, filled with laughs and smiles.

At the end of the night, the group was exhausted from their long day. They made their way back to the hotel, where Carlisle and Esme were asleep on the couch awaiting their return. Emmett and Alice shook their parents awake, encouraging them to go to bed and that they would talk over the arrangements for leaving in the morning.

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**A/N: This chapter titles comes from a song by Matt Nathanson – "Detroit Waves." Again, I'm so sorry about the absence. I'm doing my best to finish this story up. I'm never giving up on it, please trust that. Thank you. **


	33. You Give Me a Smile

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: You guys are the best – that's all I've got to say. Enjoy…

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**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**33 – You Give Me a Smile**

The crunch of gravel underneath the wheels died down as Jasper turned on the radio. With a few punches of the buttons on his iPod, the bluesy music echoed through the speakers and he lowered the windows. As the wind whipped Bella's hair around her face, she rested her head back against the headrest and closed her eyes, savoring the feel of the warm sun on her face. It was one of those rare sunny days in the Pacific Northwest and it was even more appreciated by the pair in the Jeep after the monsoon they'd experienced the day before.

When the sun had come streaming through the windows of their hotel in Seattle that morning, the group tried to make the best of it. With Carlisle and Esme footing the bill, they enjoyed a breakfast at an outdoor café then walked around before it was time to head back to Forks. Riding in the same cars as they had only days before, they hit the interstate with windows down and radios blaring. The group of six found their weekend ending similar to how it began in regards to the weather and in an effort to soak up as much sun as possible while cursing the vehicles they were confined to, the travelers stopped every so often, stretching their legs.

The drive took several hours longer than normal due to all the stops and upon arrival to the Cullen household, Alice and Edward inside with the luggage while Emmett took Rosalie home and Jasper took Bella to drop off on his way home.

"I really liked that Revolution place last night," Jasper said over the stereo, successfully pulling Bella out of her memories of the weekend.

"Yeah, it was really cool," she agreed half-heartedly.

"You don't sound too thrilled." Jasper turned down the stereo and turned to look at Bella as he slowed his Jeep. They were approaching the only stoplight in town as they made their way through the heart of Forks.

Bella laughed and shook her head, looking at Jasper. "No, no. I am – really. I was just thinking about the weekend." Her voice was quiet as she continued and turned to face her window. "It was nice to get away for a little while."

"Hey."

Turning to look at Jasper, a faint blush spread over her cheeks and she turned to look at him.

"Everything's gonna be alright, Bella. Don't be worried; it'll be okay." He reached over the center console and took Bella's hand in his. His calloused thumb – calloused from hours of guitar playing – felt rough over the smooth skin of the back of Bella's hand. She turned her hand swiftly and squeezed Jasper's in her own.

"Thanks," she whispered, blinking back the tears. She wanted to be strong in the face of the unknown but it was hard for her when simple reassurances from her best friends triggered the collapse of all the walls she built. Gratitude was the only thing she could feel towards Jasper though but it pained her to show it. Bella did want to have to rely on her friends for comfort; she didn't want them to carry her through this. She didn't want their pity.

Jasper nodded, easing his foot off the brake as the light changed from red to green. Not another word was spoken until he pulled into Bella's driveway a few minutes later. "I'll see you this week, right? Alice said something about going down to the beach on Wednesday – we're hanging out with some friends of yours?"

"Yeah, some friends from La Push," Bella explained. "I guess I should check with Jacob since Alice is being pretty persistent."

"When isn't she?" Jasper laughed. "Later, Bella."

She waved from the porch before unlocking and pushing the door in.

"Hello? Dad? I'm home!" she called out. The television wasn't on and she didn't hear any noise upstairs so after setting her bag at the bottom of the stairs, Bella headed to the kitchen.

_Went down to La Push to see Billy. Should be back before dinner._

Dinner. Since Bella had been gone all weekend, there was a good chance that the only food in the refrigerator was leftover pizza and because Charlie wasn't out fishing like a typical Sunday, Bella was left with few choices when it came to dinner. Opening the door, Bella almost laughed to herself when her theories were confirmed. A trip to the grocery store was definitely necessary.

The clock on the microwave showed plenty of time until Bella could expect her father home. Without wasting time, she hurried upstairs to unpack. Throwing a load of laundry in the washer before grabbing the keys to her truck, Bella rushed to the store. In typical fashion, she was in and out very quickly, filling her cart with cereal, milk, vegetables and meat.

In under an hour, Bella had returned from the store and unloaded the groceries in the kitchen. There was still plenty of time before she needed to start preparing the stir-fry for dinner and Bella didn't want to idly pass the time. Since reading didn't seem appealing, Bella decided to clean up the house. Switching the laundry to the dryer, Bella then vacuumed the living room before setting about mopping the kitchen floor.

As Bella enjoyed the ache of her muscles as she scrubbed and cleaned, aiming to rid her house of dirt and grim in the same fashion she hoped to clear her mind, she found her thoughts drifting back to the weekend. She remembered with a smile, the grateful and amazed look on Edward's face when he opened her gift during their picnic on Friday. And at dinner that night, she remembered watching his face closely as his eyes had scanned the card from Esme and Carlisle. Bella had noticed when his eyes stopped moving across the page, no longer reading but instead glued to the surface. He looked haunted then, a faraway glazed over look making a home in his features, until Rosalie had cleared her throat and handed him the paper he'd dropped.

Fast-forwarding through time, she remembered staying up late with Edward Friday night, how they were both so reluctant to go to bed and leave the other's company, how Rosalie and Alice had interrogated her afterwards, as they had all weekend, begging to learn the details of their relationship. Could she even call it a relationship? They were both so hesitant around the other, always holding something back. At least that was how Bella felt. There was always something more she wished she had the courage to say, to do. She had no way of knowing how Edward felt, but she didn't dare risk their friendship. She valued him entirely too much to chance upsetting their friendship. Whether friends or something more, Bella could truthfully say that understood her and spoke to her in a way no one else had before.

Edward brought out a side in Bella that she hadn't even been aware of – she had the tattoo on her wrist to prove it. And it was obvious that Edward trusted Bella in a way that he didn't trust others. She'd been the one he'd invited with him on Saturday. He'd confided in her, and only her, as far as she knew, that he'd changed his name. She was the only one who knew of his tattoo. Bella had been the one who held his hand while he winced in pain.

That all had to mean something, right?

Across the kitchen, the sound of her ringing cell phone pulled Bella from her recent memories. Startled, she lunged forward, sliding across the slick, freshly-mopped tiles. Luckily, though, she made it to her bag, sans injury and answered the call before it went to voicemail.

"Bella!" Alice squealed before Bella even had to the chance to speak a word.

And before Bella could utter a single syllable, the house phone rang. Groaning, she said, "Hey, Alice, let me call you back. The house phone is ringing; I think it's Charlie."

She hung up without waiting for her best friend's response and, throwing the cell phone to the table, slid across the room to grab the telephone.

"Hello?" Her greeting was met with silence and she asked again. "Hey, Dad? I'm going to start dinner soon. Are you on your way home?"

After another pause of hesitation, a strangled voice came through the line. "Bella?"

Now it was Bella's turn to hesitate and she almost dropped the phone in her shock. The voice belonged to her mother, but it was almost unrecognizable. Whether it was the amount of time that had passed since she'd last heard it or whether it actually was different, Bella couldn't be sure.

"Bella? I…I was calling for Charlie. He told me you were gone for the weekend – in Seattle with the Cullen's." Some normalcy had returned to her voice as the surprise melted away. There was still a broken quality to her tone. The uneasy melody was dissonant to Bella's ears.

"He's not home," she managed to get out, no longer than a whisper.

"Oh, Bella, honey," Renee breathed into the phone. "It's so good to hear your voice." She waited for a reply, but Bella had none to offer. Her knuckles turned white from her vice-like grip on the phone. Her other hand held her steady against the counter. Renee tried her hand again at conversation, "How was Seattle this weekend? Did you have a nice time?"

Struggling for the appropriate words, Bella simply stated, "Yeah, I had a lot of fun."

What else could she say to her mother – to the woman who abandoned her family, who abandoned her? Renee had turned her back on the love and comfort Charlie and Bella had provided and now Bella didn't know how to act around her mother. It was one thing to be angry because of all the wrong she had done, but she was still her mother. Could Bella just so easily turn her back on her as she'd been pretending to do all this time?

Through the line, Bella could hear her mother take a steadying deep breath. "I know your father's mentioned this to you. I'd love to see you, Bella. I want the chance to explain, to apologize. Are you busy this week? I could come by on Wednesday – I have the day off. And I'm sure Charlie could get away from the station for a little bit." She spoke quickly, trying not to let her hope be too obvious.

"I've got plans on Wednesday. I'm going down to the beach with Jacob," Bella found herself saying, her voice stronger in her denial. She was almost thankful to her Native American friend, for forcing her to stick to the cliff-diving plan. She made a mental note to call Alice – and Jacob – to confirm.

"Oh, alright then," Renee conceded. "Maybe over the weekend then."

Bella's stomach turned at the thought of seeing her parents in front of her as a united front. She knew she'd have to face Renee eventually, but she would have to do it on her own. And now wasn't the time. Now was the time to get off the phone; Bella wasn't sure how much more she could take before she broke down. On the positive side, she was proud of how strong she'd managed to last in this unexpected and unwanted conversation.

"Look, Ma…Ren…," she stumbled over the words yet again. Renee had left behind the title of 'Mom,' but Bella did want to be harsh by calling her by her given name. "I've got to go," she said shortly. "I'll tell Dad you called."

"Thank you. Have fun with your friends this week." The happiness sounded too forced to Bella's ears. "I love you, Bella. Let me know about this weekend."

"Bye," was the only thing Bella had left to say.

Once she replaced the phone in its cradle, Bella felt herself sinking to the floor. No amount of cleaning was going to be able to distract her mind now. A few minutes had passed when she heard the chiming of the familiar grandfather clock. It was five o'clock; Charlie would be returning any minute now. With the pressure of having a task that needed doing, Bella pulled herself to her feet and went about preparing dinner.

As she grabbed the ingredients from the fridge, she pulled the phone to her ear, checking for the dial tone. She punched in the number for the Black's house and listened to the ringing as she chopped the vegetables.

"Hello?" Billy answered the phone.

"Hey, Billy, it's Bella." Her voice carefree and light again.

"You just missed your old man, Bella. He left maybe ten minutes ago."

"That's alright, I was calling for Jake. Is he home?" She pulled a skillet from the cabinet and turned the stove on.

"Sure thing. Let me get him." In the background, Bella heard Billy's deep voice announce she was on the phone, then the jumbling noise of Jacob clamoring through the house.

"Hey, Bells," Jacob greeted.

"Jake," Bella smiled, immediately feeling her spirits lifted. "Sorry to pull you away from whatever you were doing."

"Don't even worry about it. What's going on?"

"Just wanted to make sure we're still on for Wednesday?"

"Cliff-diving? Heck yeah! I can't wait!" Jacob's enthusiasm, even through the phone, was contagious and Bella found herself laughing freely as she combined the meat and vegetables in the pan.

"My friends are really excited, too," she offered. "Especially Alice. She's so tiny, though, I'm a little worried about jumping off a cliff."

"Don't worry, Bells. I won't let anything bad happen to you." Just like that, Bella's fears melted away. A little reassurance from Jacob was all she needed to know that everything was going to be okay in the end. And if it wasn't, she had the friends who would help her get through.

"Thanks, Jake. Well, I've got to go; Charlie should be home any second."

"Alright, I'll talk to you later."

No sooner had Bella replaced the phone than Charlie walked in the front door, dropping his keys on the table by the front door.

"Smells good in here," he called out.

"Should be ready in about ten minutes," Bella answered.

"I'll get cleaned up."

Bella listened to her father's heavy footsteps on the stairs as he made his way to their shared bathroom. In his absence, she finished the final preparations of dinner, set the table and made up a plate for each of them. She'd just finished pouring two glasses of water when Charlie walked back in the kitchen.

On his way to the table, he passed Bella and reached his arm around her. With her hands full, she leaned into her father's half-embrace as he placed a kiss to the top of her head. "I missed you this weekend. Did you have fun?"

"We had a great time!" Bella accepted the sweet sentiment, but it was unlike either to dwell on it. Instead, she enthusiastically dove into the details of her trip – leaving out, of course, mentions of tattoos and name changes. Charlie hummed and nodded at all the right places during his daughter's spiel, unable to get a word in edgewise. It wasn't until they were clearing the table and washing the dishes that Bella gave him the opportunity to speak. "No fishing today?"

"It'd been awhile since I got to spend some time with Billy, so Harry and I decided to forgo fishing for the day. We're going on a big trip on Saturday to make up for it."

Bella knew what 'big trip' meant – he'd be on the water by sun up and would only be home after they were happy with their haul. "Sounds fun, Dad."

Charlie laughed, knowing it was the last thing his daughter found entertaining. "Jake was pretty excited about hanging out with you later this week. You guys doing something special?"

Was that his way of asking if they were going on a date, Bella wondered. She answered cautiously, not wanting her father to have any of the same misconceptions that Jacob hoped for. "A bunch of us are getting to together to go to the beach. Some of Jake's friends will be there and Alice and the rest of them are coming, too. It should be a lot of fun."

"Hmm," Charlie acknowledged picking up the phone. "I've got to check in with the station."

Bella took that as her cue that she was dismissed, having put in the appropriate face time for father-daughter bonding. Charlie had reminded her that she needed to call Alice about cliff-diving.

"Oh, Dad," Bella started timidly.

Noticing the hesitation in her voice, Charlie turned to face his daughter, cupping his hand over the mouthpiece of the telephone. He raised his eyebrows, encouraging her to continue.

"I forgot to tell you…Mom called earlier. I said you'd call her back." Bella dropped her eyes and went to the leave the room.

"Your mother called?" Charlie verified, rubbing his palm across the scruff of his cheek. "You talked to her?"

"Yeah. I'm going to go call Alice." Bella rushed through her words and, grabbing her phone, ran up the stairs.

Flinging herself on top of her bed, Bella dialed Alice's numbered and took deep breaths as she listened to the ringing from the other line. Normally, Alice was so quick to answer her phone – if it wasn't in her hand, it was in her pocket, never out of her sight. Why was it ringing so many times?

Just as Bella was about to give up and try again, Alice answered the phone in a whisper. "Hello?"

"Alice?" Bella asked to verify; typically, Alice squealed when answering Bella's calls. She felt the need to add, "It's Bella."

"Hey," Alice said, subdued, still no louder than a whisper.

"Is everything okay? Why are you whispering?"

"Yeah, everything's fine. Edward was acting strange – quiet – at dinner and then he asked if he could talk to my mom and dad privately. So, of course, Emmett and I are outside Dad's office eavesdropping. We have no idea what's going on."

Bella, however, had a pretty idea of what was going on behind that door, but she couldn't let Alice know that. "What have you heard so far?"

"Nothing!" Alice's voice almost rose to more than a whisper in her frustration, but she was quickly shushed by Emmett in the background. There was silence on the line for a few moments – save for the clicking of Alice's shoes on the hardwood floors of her home. When she spoke again, it was at a regular volume. "So what's up? Took you long enough to call me back."

"Sorry about that. Charlie came home and we just finished dinner. But I wanted to check to see if you were still game for hanging out with Jacob and his friends on Wednesday?"

"Oh!" Alice exclaimed. "Cliff-jumping! Of course, I am!"

"It's cliff-diving, Alice."

"Same thing."

"And it's not just cliff-diving. We were going to hang out at the beach for the day. I thought maybe we could put together a picnic – you know, like we usually do," Bella suggested.

"That's a great idea! The weather's suppose to be really nice this week – who knows why – but that'll be a lot of fun. I'm sure the boys will want to play football or something, so that'll give us the chance to tan!"

"Are the boys definitely coming?"

"Oh, yeah! Emmett's really excited about this cliff-jumping…diving thing. And, of course, Jasper will be there. Edward, too. We're all kind of a package deal now. Oh, wait!" Alice cut herself off rather abruptly.

"What? What is it?" Bella asked concerned, thinking something was wrong. Had Edward left the room? Was something wrong?

"Do you not want them all to be there? I mean, Edward. Do you not want Edward and Jacob to meet?"

Bella let out the breath she was unknowingly holding. "Give me a heart attack, Alice. I thought something was wrong. Why wouldn't I want Jacob and Edward to meet?"

"Well, for starters, because Jacob's been your boy toy all summer but now you actually like Edward."

"Alice!"

"It's true!"

"Look, Jacob knows there's nothing going on between us. I made that as clear as I could to him. And Edward…well, there's nothing to worry about there. He doesn't like me."

"You are crazy, Bella. Crazy." Bella could practically hear Alice's eyes roll through the telephone. "Oh, I gotta go. Something's happening – Edward's leaving the office. I'll call you tomorrow; we can go suit shopping in Port Angeles."

Bella couldn't even warrant a response to Alice's excuse to go shopping – after all the shopping she'd done over the weekend. She hung up the phone and flipped over on her bed and stared up at the sealing. Strands of her hair landed across her face and she tried to blow them out of the way with expelled air but had no luck. She brought her hand up to brush the hair away, and saw the bandage across her wrist. She'd barely remembered about her new tattoo throughout the day. It was almost as if it was already incorporated into her very being.

24 hours had passed since the artwork was completed and Bella deemed it an appropriate time to unwrap it and see the finished product. She threw the gauze in the trashcan without thinking twice. Even if Charlie noticed the slight bloodstains, he'd just assumed it was due to one of her commonplace accidents. Running her fingers over the small design, Bella noticed that the black ridges of the star were slightly raised, swollen from the inflicted injury. Her skin, though, was barely red anymore, as compared to what it was looked like immediately after Laurent had finished.

Rubbing her thumb across the star one last time, Bella thought about the design. Her very own star, on her own body, telling her it was up to her to make her dreams come true. Every wish she had, she could grant. It was all up to her. She was the only one with the power to get what she wanted.

It was something she knew she wouldn't share with many people, and it would be easy enough. It wasn't a unique design like Edward's, something he'd always have to explain. People could see it and just assume she liked stars, and, if ever asked, she could brush it off as though that's all there was to it. Bella remembered having a similar conversation with Edward, just a few nights ago, before they'd left for Seattle. The night she'd almost kissed Edward again.

She shook her head, clearing all thoughts of kissing Edward from her mind. Bella refused to dwell on her feelings for Edward. There wasn't much she could do – he didn't feel the same for her, not that she even knew what she felt. All she knew was that she truly valued having Edward in her life, more than she'd ever thought possible. She enjoyed their relationship as it was and would not put that in jeopardy.

Crawling off her bed, Bella made her way to the bathroom and called out to Charlie that she was going to take a shower so he knew not to enter. Her shower was short but the steam still helped to clear her mind. By the time she'd pulled her pajamas on and brushed her hair, she was exhausted, feeling the whole weekend catch up to her.

The lights in her room were off and the still-clear sky allowed the brilliant moon to shine in her window. The square glass lit her room as much as she needed as she grabbed her cell phone from her bed and went to plug it into her charger at her desk. Connected with the electricity, the screen came to life and Bella saw she had a new text message. Quickly, she opened it and read the message from Edward.

"Well, that could have gone better." The message only came through a few minutes before; Bella must have missed it while she was drying her hair.

She rushed across the short distance that separated her from the bed and sat on top of the blankets, staring out the night sky. Dialing Edward's number, she decided sleep could wait if he wanted to talk about what happened. She would not begrudge him this if it was what he needed.

**

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A/N: The song for this chapter is "Where Do We Go" by Ben Jelen. **


	34. While the House I Built is Breaking

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: I had been doing so well for a (short) while there. Unfortunately, even though it's summer, I started a new job which required me to move. To say that was a bit hectic is an understatement. And to top it off, real life hasn't been treating me the best lately. My sincere apologies for the delay. I'm finally starting to settle into a routine, though, so hopefully I'll be able to devote more time to writing. You all are truly the greatest for hanging in there and for always offering encouraging words. Enjoy…

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**Best Definition of Good Intentions**

**34 – While the House I Built is Breaking**

In the middle of his black leather couch, Edward sat with his head back and eyes closed. He was breathing deeply as he pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. He sat still, straight and hard as a statue, as he willed the struggle to escape his mind. It had been a difficult evening for Edward and he wanted to wash his hands of the whole sordid affair.

It was a wishful though, one that would never come true.

Edward struggled with his thoughts, wondering if maybe he should have discussed the matter with Carlisle and Esme first. But would that have made a difference? His mind had been made up long ago, and nothing anyone could say would change that. And he certainly didn't it to.

Shaking his head, clearing the plaguing thoughts, Edward rose from the couch and went to change into his pajamas. As he lay in his bed, staring out over the forest through the window, he moved to shut off the light when his cell phone started ringing. Lost in his thoughts, he'd forgotten about the text message he'd sent to Bella. All at once, he knew it must be her calling to check in. She was the only one who knew, before Carlisle and Esme, and she must have understood what his text meant right away.

He climbed out of bed and grabbed the phone from its discarded location on the couch and answered.

"Hey," he breathed into the speaker with an audible sigh.

"Hey," Bella answered on the other side. She'd been worried about Edward and just hearing his voice on the other line was relief enough. Edward could hear the faint smile in her voice as she spoke. "You alright?"

Thinking before answering, Edward hesitated. It was a loaded question and he wasn't sure how to answer. "Define alright."

"Edward," Bella drew out with an anxious laugh. She didn't want to push him into talking if he didn't want to. "Want to talk about it?"

"I'm not really sure what to say."

"What happened? What'd Carlisle and Esme have to say?" She began to prod Edward, sensing that he did actually want to talk but he wasn't really sure where to start.

"They weren't exactly pleased with the decision."

"Edward." Bella's voice echoed her frustration. How could she help Edward if he didn't give her something to work with. She took a deep breath and started again – this time from the very beginning. "Did you bring it up to them first?"

"Yes, at dinner. I'm positive I startled Emmett and Alice, by requesting a private conversation. I was shocked they didn't insist on being present as well, especially Alice. She doesn't take too kindly to being left out of the loop."

Bella laughed. "They were outside the door trying to eavesdrop. They didn't hear anything though."

It was Edward's turn to laugh now and they were both surprised at how happy the sound was. It gave them the hope that whatever thoughts were currently afflicting his mind would pass. "Good to know, though I'm sure they'll find out soon enough."

"Did you tell them everything?"

"I hadn't meant to, but I did. I grew so frustrated in our conversation that I found the information about the tattoo spilling out of my mouth. Honestly, I think things would have gone a lot better if I'd kept that to myself."

"What do you mean?" Bella asked.

Edward thought back to his conversation with Carlisle and Esme. It was true that they hadn't been very pleased with his announcement about his name change, but they were working their way towards understanding. That had to be the thing Edward most respected about his care takers; they always did their best to see eye-to-eye with others, to understand where the other person was coming from.

Esme had been quiet at first. Edward believed it was because she wanted to first hear Carlisle's thoughts on the matter. While Esme had grown close to Elizabeth and Edward, Sr., it was Carlisle who'd had the true connection to the pair. She'd looked sad, but compassionate at the same time. Edward knew going in that Carlisle was going to be the harder one to convince. Esme had accepted Edward's decision as easily as she'd accepted him into her home after his parents had died. She was more upset over the fact that Edward hadn't trusted, or respected, his new guardians enough to talk to them about the matter first.

Carlisle had grown silent while Edward explained his thought process regarding the choice. He spoke firmly yet softly as he explained he didn't want to be tormented by the memories of his family for the rest of his life. He made the same arguments he'd made to Carlisle in Italy regarding adoption, to which Carlisle nodded emphatically. He recognized Edward's point. But Esme was concerned that Edward would later regret this decision because he'd be left with nothing to remember his parents by.

And that's when it had all gone downhill.

In words that were no carefully chosen because relief was coursing through his body due to Carlisle's acceptance, Edward rambled on about how he'd gotten a tattoo while in Seattle to commemorate his parents.

Neither Carlisle nor Esme asked a single question regarding the tattoo – not the location, the design or anything. They simply chose to believe that Edward was acting out, that he was rebelling after his parents' deaths. And nothing Edward said could convince them otherwise.

Eventually, things were at a stalemate. Edward left the room, not noticing Emmett and Alice lurking around the corner, promising to speak with Carlisle and Esme the next day, after they'd had the chance to speak with each other privately.

After recounting all these details, and then some, to Bella, Edward felt exhausted. He didn't want to think about it anymore. There was no way she could prepare for the conversations ahead. "I just want to forget about it," Edward sighed into the phone as he sunk back into the pillows on his bed.

"I'm sorry, Edward." Bella's voice rang true from her heart and Edward could hear her sincerity. At the same time, though, he noticed how heavy her voice sounded.

"There's nothing for you to be sorry about. I'm sorry I kept you up; you sound exhausted. You should get some sleep."

"I'm not sure sleep is what I need right now," Bella admitted quietly, not sure if she really wanted to mention her problems.

"What do you mean?

"Nothing really. I've just got a lot on my mind." She tried to speak up, keeping the distress out of her voice. She sounded fake in the attempt, obviously concealing what was truly bothering her.

"You can talk to me, Bella," Edward encouraged simply. Ever the gentleman, he didn't want to guilt her into opening up to him, even after he'd opened up to her, but he still couldn't understand why Bella reused to allow her friends to help and support her. Why did she try to keep everything bottled up inside?

"No, Edward…," Bella stammered, immediately feeling guilty for pushing Edward away. "It's just that…it's not…My mom called today," she finally admitted. "I answered the phone without realizing it was her."

"It's the first time you've talked to her since she moved out?"

Edward had no trouble speaking the words that had tormented Bella. The words themselves were easy enough, but Bella stumbled over their implications. Her mother had moved out – her parents were separated – her home was not the same. Could she even call it home anymore? Looking around, her room felt the same. In fact, her room was like her haven. Her own space where she didn't have to pretend. Bella didn't have to her strong here.

Stinging tears threatened her eyes and her bottom lip quivered. Fiercely, she pulled the traitorous skin between her teeth, biting back her tears. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. In and out. In and out.

She was silent on the phone, trying to compose herself. Bella didn't want Edward to become alarmed, but she hadn't truly let herself grieve over this though: she was alone.

"Bella?" Edward could hear her breathing through the line – he knew she was there.

"Yeah," Bella said sternly. "It was the first time I'd talked to her." The emotion drifted away from her body; her eyes stared at a single spot on the floor. At that moment, she was not herself. On auto-pilot, she continued to speak with Edward while she removed herself from the conversation. Everything that made her _her_ was gone then. Her words were just words, there was no meaning behind them as she gave Edward the answers he asked for.

"What happened?" He asked slowly, unsure of the change he heard in her voice. He wished he could be with her then. It was clear she was upset and he didn't know how to comfort her through the telephone. The coldness in her voice reminded him of the time he spent in Italy with the Cullen's. He hadn't enjoyed a moment of the trip because he didn't allow himself to enjoy it. He was scared that if he left himself feel happiness that he wouldn't be able to avoid the sadness. If he could just exist without feeling, without thinking, then he might survive.

He didn't know how to broach the subject with Bella. After all, she was the reason he had finally gotten his act together. Conflicted, Edward wondered whether now was a better time to force Bella to talk or if it was worse. On the one hand, she was forcing the emotion from her body and mind. But on the other hand, he could push her too far.

Throwing caution to the wind, Edward began to question Bella.

"Why haven't you talked to her?"

"Don't know," Bella said as her eyes stayed locked on an invisible particle in the air. Edward's words were going in one ear and out the other. "Just haven't."

"What about your father?"

"We don't talk about that."

"Not at all?" Edward found it so hard to believe that a father could refuse to speak to his daughter regarding the current state of their family – even if it was just to inquire how she was holding up.

"Well, he talks about it."

"You don't?"

"I don't have anything to say," Bella answered quietly. Edward's words were starting to get together and she was having trouble keeping herself strong. She moved the phone from one ear to the other and leaned forward to look at the pale shadows the moon cast on the ground.

"You can't talk or you won't talk?" Edward pushed.

It was the last straw for Bella. She couldn't take the questions anymore. "What does it matter, Edward?" she bit. "Talking about it isn't going to change anything."

"Bella," Edward pleaded. "If you talk about it, you might be able to understand it better. Did you ever think that maybe there's something to this that you don't know?"

A sudden rush of memories flooded Bella's mind. It wasn't all that long ago that she'd been at the Black household for a dinner aimed at cheering Charlie, when Billy had trapped her, telling her that she didn't know the full story. She hadn't told anyone about that conversation – actually, she hadn't talked to anyone about her family in detail. Shed kept it all to herself, in hopes that she'd be able to figure it out.

But she'd been unsuccessful. And here was Edward, asking her the one question she knew the answer to yet refused to acknowledge. How could he understand this when she couldn't?

Her next words came out as a whisper. "What am I suppose to do?"

Her voice was broken and Edward knew he hadn't pushed her too far. "Talk to her, Bella," he urged. "Talk to both of them. You need to know. You deserve to know."

"What if I don't want to know?"

"You owe it yourself to find out the truth." Edward continued to sense her hesitation. "I'll go with you, Bella. We'll all go with you. All you have to do is ask."

Little did Edward know, asking was the hardest part.

***

After hanging up the phone, more exhausted than she thought possible, Bella continued to lie in bed. She searched her mind, anxious to uncover any hints of the truth. Whatever this truth was, she knew it was going to come as a blow and she wanted to be prepared. She feared that was not possible.

Charlie had already left for work in the morning by the time Bella made it downstairs. She fixed herself a bowl of cereal, lounging on the couch with the television on. She certainly wasn't eager to do anything. Alice, however, had other plans for her. What seemed like only moments later, there was a pounding on the front door as Alice let herself into the house.

"What are you doing?!" she shrieked when she saw Bella laying on the couch, still in her pajamas.

She was met by a blank stare since Bella assumed it was obvious what she was doing. On the other hand, she had no idea what her best friend was up to. She raised an eyebrow, silently inquiring.

"Bathing suit shopping, duh!" Alice said, pulling Bella to her feet and pushing her up the stairs. "Get a move on it! I want to get to Port Angeles before it starts to rain."

"Rain?"

"Yeah, a front moved through overnight. Today and tomorrow are going to be cold and rainy, but Wednesday's suppose to be beautiful weather. Perfect for the beach!" To emphasize her point, Alice clapped her hands together quickly.

Knowing better than to argue, Bella grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, throwing them on and then disappearing into the bathroom to brush her teeth and run a comb through her hair. She pulled her hair into a ponytail before going back into her room, grabbing her purse and motioning Alice towards the door. "Let's go."

"Don't sound so excited, Bella."

"Sorry," she said, flashing an apologetic smile. "I'm just really tired this morning."

"We'll grab some coffee once we get there. That'll perk you right up!"

Oh, how Bella wished that were true.

***

While Bella and Alice sped off towards Port Angeles is search of the perfect summer suit that misty Monday morning, Edward hid in the comfort of his room. In fact, he hadn't moved from his bed, other than to use the bathroom, since he woke up. It was nearing lunch time when Edward heard the heavy footsteps on the stairs, quickly approaching his secluded room. He knew it wasn't Esme or Alice – both woman walked too quietly throughout the entire house. He doubted it was Carlisle. Always an air of dignity and so poised, Edward couldn't imagine Carlisle making such a racket, especially inside his own home.

That left Emmett.

Edward closed his eyes, trying to lose himself in the classical music that was playing through his sound system. The remote lay against his open palm, resting on the comforter of his bed. He did not succeed before Emmett pushed his way into the room, without so much as a knock.

"Hey – what's wrong with you?" Emmett asked, keeeping his distance.

"Nothing," Edward answered gloomily, not doing anything to help convince the other in the room.

"Sure. Well, I'm heading over to Rosalie's with Jasper. I was going to see if you wanted to join, but you look pretty busy. Maybe later?" Emmett started to retreat and close the door behind him.

"Maybe."

"Oh, I almost forgot. Mom wants you downstairs."

The suppressed groan was covered by the loud sound the door made as Emmett pulled it tight against its frame. Edward sunk back into the pillows, but knew he couldn't stay there any longer – especially now that the classical sounds were anything but soothing. Instead of hearing the harmonious blend of piano and violin, he was hearing the clanking of keys and the screech of the bow against the strings. The cacophony was disturbing.

Preparing for the battle that he was sure would ensure the moment he arrived downstairs, Edward pulled on a pair of athletic shorts and t-shirt, completely the outfit with his running shoes. He figured that by the end of the conversation, he'd be so tense and riled up that a good run would do him some good. He'd already made peace with the fact that he wasn't going to be hanging out with Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper; there was no way he'd be in a good enough mood to be around people.

When the hardwood floor gave way to the tile of the kitchen, Edward spotted Esme at the counter preparing food. She flashed him a sweet smile – it almost unnerved him as he thought about it being the calm before the storm – as he grabbed a glass from the cabinet and poured himself water.

"Some lunch, Edward?" Esme asked after Edward had sat down at the island across from her.

"I think breakfast might be more appropriate." Carlisle's voice grew louder as he walked from the living room and into the kitchen. He bypassed Edward and Esme entirely, not acknowledging either further than his already spoken words, and sat down at the head of the kitchen table. Only after sitting and folding his newspaper did he look pointedly at Edward and gesture to the seat on his left.

Edward rose from the bar, Esme following in suit to sit on Carlisle's right. "No work for you today?"

"I'd originally taken the day off because of the traveling for the conference, but then was going to go in. I wanted to chance to talk with you this morning so I thought I'd go in late." Carlisle stole a glance at his watch before continuing. "I don't see that happening now. I never expected you to be out of bed this late."

"Well, I've been up for quite awhile now. I didn't realize you were waiting on me," Edward apologized shyly. This conversation was already headed downhill and they hadn't even moved onto the main topic.

Carlisle drew a deep breath, giving Edward the chance to prepare himself for whatever was surely coming. "I find your behavior to be extremely irresponsible, Edward. Staying in bed till noon, running off in Seattle to get your name changed without talking to us first….getting a tattoo the moment you turned 18! You're acting like a child."

"I didn't –," Edward began before he was interrupted.

"I'm not finished," Carlisle reprimanded sternly. "Your parents' deaths are a tragedy, Edward. No one is denying that. And maybe we never allowed you to properly grieve; maybe you didn't know how…regardless, if this is your rebellion because of it, you should know now that I will not tolerate it. You will deal with this like a man, Edward. You will not run off and do whatever pleases you at that time; you will not hide in your room all day. Am I understood?"

"This is not me grieving. I'm over that now."

Carlisle cringed.

"Edward," Esme started softly, placing her hand over Edward's on the table. "I'm sure you don't mean it like that."

"What?" When comprehension sunk in, he corrected. "No, of course, not. I just meant that I've made peace with my parents' deaths. I know that there is nothing I can do to change things. There's nothing I could have done to prevent this. I know it wasn't my fault." He repeated the mantra he'd recited in his mind over and over immediately following his tragedy. He'd repeated the words until he'd finally come to understand what they meant to him. "I still miss them everyday – every second of every day. Which is why I did what I did. I had to. I wish you could understand that."

"I will never understand why you turned your back on your family by giving up your name." Carlisle stood abruptly and left the room, his paper long forgotten on the shiny surface.

Both Edward and Esme were quiet as they listened to Carlisle's angry steps on the stairs before they disappeared toward the end of the hall, followed by a slamming door. Carlisle had once again retreated to his office to sort through things.

Edward let out the breath he'd been holding and dropped his head to his hands. He felt like he could cry at the thought of disrespecting his family – disrespecting his parents, the two people who'd done and given up everything for him.

"He's just angry right now, Edward. He'll get over this. Just give him some time." Esme moved from her seat across from Edward so she could sit by his side. "I can't say I understand why you did you what you did, but I realize it's important to you, Edward, and I'd like to try."

"I'm not really sure what more I can say. I did not do this to disobey Carlisle; I just simply could not continue as a Masen, not without my mother and father. Part of me died when they died and I needed to make the appropriate change to commemorate that." Edward tried to remain calm has he repeated his words from the previous night. Once again, Esme seemed understanding as she nodded her head, listening to his words and really taking them in.

"Carlisle's just concerned that you're leaving your parents behind. He's right, Edward, it is a tragedy that your parents are no with us, but that doesn't mean that they are gone. You know as well as I do that each of us carries around a bit of them everywhere we go. Carlisle doesn't want you to lose sight of that. He doesn't want to replace your father. He respected your father too much to allow that to happen. You must realize, he's grieving as well. But he doesn't want you to see. He doesn't think he has as much of a right to grieve as you do."

Edward nodded, understanding, but not knowing what to do with that knowledge.

"Just be patient with him, Edward. Give him some time."

"Carlisle is a wonderful man, as you are a wonderful woman," Edward said as he stood and started to walk out of the kitchen. "I will never be able to truly express the gratitude I have for the two of you for taking me in – long before my parents died. You have always considered me a part of your family, and I am so blessed for it. Your generosity goes beyond words."

As Edward climbed the stairs, retreating back to his room, he debated stopping by Carlisle's study to further clear up the issues between them. Now that he'd heard more from Esme, he believed he understood where Carlisle was coming from. Edward paused on the second floor before continuing on, deciding to allow Carlisle time to think about Edward, Sr., much like Edward was now. They could grieve together – separately.

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**A/N: This chapter title comes from "In the Cold" by Acceptance. **

**In other news, it was just brought to my attention (literally as I was about to post this) that I've been nominated in the Indie Twific Awards. Thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you who take the time to read this story and believe it's worthy of an award. It does mean a lot to me that there are those of who you still think so highly of this story and me, despite my erratic updating schedule. This story is up for Best Alternative Universe Human. **

**The first round of voting begins on July 8****th**** and you can vote at ****/**** There are a ton of great stories up for these fantastic awards, so please be sure to check out some of the stories you may not know about. **

**So tell me, what'd you think of the latest chapter? How were you all expecting the conversation with Carlisle/Esme to go?**

**And, lastly, happy 4****th**** everyone! This is one of my favorite holidays, because we simply get to celebrate being. So I hope everyone has a grand time tomorrow…enjoy those fireworks shows! For those not in the States, make your own fireworks shows…it's a glorious summer and I think that deserves some celebrating!**


	35. Mistakes Become Regrets

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Twilight**_**. **

**A/N: You all truly amaze me. Thank you. This is a short chapter only because I really, **_**really **_**want to update. I gave one of my reviewers a little bit of insider info about something I decided to include at the last minute of this chapter…please know that I wasn't lying. I just didn't get the chance to write it in the way I wanted to yet. It's definitely going to be in the next chapter. I'm going out of town for the weekend (and leaving in 20 minutes) and I didn't want to wait to update. And now that I've probably confused everyone else, I'll share…hopefully it'll make you even more excited for the next update. As a present for all of you for being so amazing, and because we all love Jasper's singing so much, it's going to make an appearance (with Edward) in the next chapter. I've been really music obsessed lately, so I'm excited to share some of the great songs I've been listening to lately with you all. Now, enjoy...**

**Best Definitions of Good Intentions**

**35 – Mistakes Become Regrets**

Carlisle went to work early Tuesday morning. He'd spent much of the previous night awake, staring at the ceiling. He knew Esme was tired from the weekend, so he did his best not to disturb her, but the little sleep he'd gotten was fitful. When he climbed out of bed that morning long before his alarm was set to go off, he placed a gentle kiss on his wife's exposed shoulder and felt the tension in his muscles from all the tossing and turning.

Esme was not surprised to wake up alone. In fact, she would have guessed the night before that Carlisle would sneak off to work early. Carlisle felt most at peace when he was with his patients; he felt useful and the world made sense to him when he could help others in any way he could. The past few weeks, since they'd returned from Italy, Esme had noticed that Carlisle seemed off. She was concerned about him but knew better than approach him with her worries.

In much the same way that he was always looking out for his patients, Carlisle was looking out for everyone else. His sense of normalcy had been shaken when his best friend died, but he wouldn't allow himself to adjust his routine accordingly. He wanted to be strong for Edward – poor Edward who'd lost both his parent, and essentially his life, in the matter of moments. He wanted to provide Edward with solidarity and strength. He wanted to show Edward that life would go on just the same.

And that's where the miscommunication lay. Carlisle was trying his hardest to prove to Edward that things didn't have to change, but Carlisle didn't see that they already had changed.

Edward had changed. Now, he was trying to make a new life around that change. Life couldn't on just the same as it had before his parents were killed. Life had to be different without them. In all his grief, Edward never doubted his ability to cope without his parents. He had gone through all the typical stages. He'd been angry, he'd questioned the reasoning behind their deaths, he'd blamed himself, but at no point did he not trust that he'd build a new life. Of course, he didn't know what that life would entail and he was scared of that unknown, but he knew it would exist.

Carlisle wasn't the only one who didn't sleep well that night. With his mind racing, Edward didn't want to sleep. He didn't want to lose the thoughts he was trying to make sense of. Instead, he played note after note, song after song, on his piano, easing the thoughts from his mind. Just as Carlisle was giving up on sleep, Edward was giving in. He'd climbed into his bed and as soon as his head hit the pillow, his breathing evened out. He'd finally found peace in the realization that Carlisle needed that strength to himself; he wasn't just proving to Edward that things would carry on as normal, he was trying to convince himself.

Then and there, Edward vowed that he'd show Carlisle the change was okay. He'd show him that it was okay to adapt, that everything would be okay in the end. They could lean on each other through their grief.

Before falling asleep and allowing those last thoughts and promises to leave him, Edward's eyes danced across the room, landing on the photo of his parents. He said a quick prayer in his mind, feeling content as his consciousness washed away.

Due to the late hour of his sleep, Edward didn't wake till nearly afternoon. Alice was already gone, shopping with Bella, and Emmett had grown tired of waiting for him to wake up, opting to go to Rosalie's to help her work on her car. The air was warm and thick with the coming rain; the storm was due to come through in the late afternoon, allowing the next few days to be clear and sunny. Edward took advantage of the dry weather and worked outside.

He was outside washing his car when Jasper pulled up the long drive.

"You know it's suppose to rain this afternoon, right? That'll never stay clean," Jasper called out, flipping his baseball cap around backwards on his head. He readjusted the hat a few times before finally capturing his long, blonde hair, tucking it under the cap and behind his ears. He sat down on the steps to the front porch, idly watching Edward work.

"That's what they make a garage for," Edward said, gesturing behind him. Only a few minutes later, Edward finished. He pulled the Volvo into the garage, grabbing two bottles of root beer on his way back out. He handed one to Jasper as he took the seat next to him. "What are you doing here, anyway? Alice is out shopping with Bella."

"You want me to leave?" Jasper feigned pulling out his car keys and getting up, before laughing. He checked his watch. "Alice should be home any second now. She told me to meet her –"

Jasper didn't get the chance to finish the sentence because the sound of Alice's engine gunning up the driveway took over. In an effortless maneuver, she'd backed into the garage, next to Edward's car, leaving enough space for Emmett's on the other side. She was out of the car and hugging Jasper before Bella had even undone her seatbelt. By the time Bella made it over to the group, all eyes were on her. Unconsciously, a blush made its way to her cheeks as she ducked her head and muttered greetings.

"You look beat, Bella," Jasper commented.

"Tell your girlfriend to take it easy on me next time. We were up and in Port Angeles before nine this morning! Some of us need sleep to function," she mumbled, rolling her eyes. "I'm going to take a nap. You can wake me up in an hour."

Bella climbed the porch stairs and shouted out a greeting to Esme in the laundry room off the kitchen. She went to shut the door behind her, but realized Edward had followed her inside while Alice and Jasper retrieved the bags from the car. They climbed the stairs together in silence, but when Bella turned down the second story hall to "her" bedroom, Edward stopped and watched her. He didn't speak until she reached out her hand to push the door open further.

"You probably don't want to take a nap in there."

"Why's that?" Tired as she was, Bella had little patience.

"Esme's doing laundry. There aren't any sheets." Edward shrugged his shoulders and offered an apology before turning back to continue to his room. He heard Bella's footsteps behind him then. He turned back to look at her.

"Your room's quieter. In fact, before it was your room, I preferred it for napping," she explained.

"Well, then, by all means," Edward said, as he swept his arm to the side, allowing her to enter his room first.

She grabbed the blanket from the end his bed and wrapped it around her shoulders before lying down on the couch. Edward sat on the floor, in front of his computer. He plugged his headphones in and began to work on the piece he'd recorded the night before, when he'd first made use of his gift from Alice and Emmett.

"Edward," Bella called out, not getting his attention. She nudged him with her foot. "Edward!"

"Yes?"

Bella's eyes fluttered to the ground as she spoke shyly. "It's too quiet in here. Will you play something?" she asked, gesturing to the piano with her eyes.

"Of course," he answered automatically. He loved to play and Bella always seemed to appreciate it. And if it would help her sleep – he knew she needed it by how she currently looked.

Choosing a finished piece instead of his current project, Edward played the soft melodies as Bella's eyes drifted shut again, this time with a peaceful smile on her lips. He watched her as he played; he knew the song well enough that he didn't need to see the keys. As Bella's breath evened out and she twisted in the blanket and curled onto her side, he switched songs, melding one into the next perfectly, as though they were one and the same. They were both long songs, multiple movements long, yet he played every note, drawing out the last chord with his foot on the pedal. Quietly, he lifted his hands from the keys and moved away from the instrument.

Immediately, Bella's eyes flashed open. "You stopped."

"I thought you were sleeping."

"I was, but you stopped playing."

"Do you want me to continue?" Edward asked as Bella sat up, pulling her knees beneath her.

"No, it's alright. I suppose I'm not that tired after all."

"You look exhausted," he pointed out.

"Well, thanks," she answered, sarcastically. Then, seriously, added, "I didn't sleep well. Too much on my mind."

"About your mom?" Edward asked as he took the seat next to Bella. He sat sideways on the couch, facing Bella. She remained sitting straight ahead, her profile set in stone and she stilled herself for the coming conversation. She nodded to Edward, unsure of what she wanted to say yet. Edward asked, "What did Alice have to say?"

"I didn't –," Bella started to answer forcefully. Quieter, she said, "I didn't tell Alice."

Glad he'd gotten some sort of reaction for Bella, Edward was still taken aback by the admission. "You didn't? Why not?"

"I didn't know I was suppose to," Bella snapped. She exhaled a deep breath and set to work pulling her hair into a ponytail – anything to distract her, anything to try and dissipate her anger.

"I just thought you would have," Edward corrected, apologetically. "Why didn't you though?"

"Because I don't want to talk about it!" Bella turned now and faced Edward. He was shocked by the look in her eyes – pure determination. "Why can't everyone just let me figure this out on my own? I'd be doing a heck of a lot better if you all just left me in peace!"

"You don't mean that, Bella." Edward shook his head, stating the simple fact that he believed.

"And how would you know that? You don't know what's best for me, Edward. You barely know me. You can't know what's best for me." Her voice lost power towards the end, but it didn't matter; her words were meant more to convince herself of their truth than anything else. Bella was having a hard time heeding the advice of those around her. Everyone claimed to have her best interests at heart, and they all told her the same thing but she didn't understand how the answers could come to easily to everyone else but her.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that…I just…I'm sorry, Bella. I just…," Edward did his best to stammer out an apology, while Bella stood from the couch.

"It's alright, Edward. I'm just going to go find Alice. I need to get home soon anyway. I'll see you tomorrow."

Edward nodded, cursing himself as Bella walked out the door. He was always saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, when it came to Bella. When would he learn he couldn't trust his instincts? Her reactions always surprised him; he never knew how she would take even the simplest of words. Things were always so difficult between him and Bella. Most of the time, Edward chalked that up to the fact that they both had short nerves these days, which was completely understandable. He just wished there was a way they could get past it.

Mind racing, Edward had trouble sleeping again that night. He was so tired by the time he fell asleep in the wee hours of the morning that he didn't wake until hours after the others had already left for the beach. He threw on a dark pair of swim trunks and pulled a plain white t-shirt over his head before grabbing his sunglasses and sprinting down the stairs. On the kitchen table were Alice's keys and a note.

_Sorry we left without you. Jasper drove Bella and me, so feel free to take my car, since you just cleaned yours. Jasper says bring your guitar. See you soon!_

Edward hurried back upstairs to grab his guitar per Jasper's request and was out the door moments later. Alice had packed everything for the trip the previous afternoon with Bella, so there was nothing else that Edward needed to bring. Emmett was in charge of bringing the football and Frisbee and if Jasper was going to resort to playing music, then Edward was sure he wouldn't get bored during the course of the day. Emmett had been a bit apprehensive about going and hanging out with Jacob and his friends, but since Alice and Bella were going to be there, he figured it couldn't be all that bad.

As he turned onto the highway, Edward relished in the purr of the engine as he pushed the pedal to the floor. Alice's Porsche didn't drive as smoothly as his Volvo, in his opinion, but the way the car hugged the road and slide through the turns, Edward could understand why Alice enjoyed her car. It definitely satisfied that need for speed.

**A/N: This chapter title comes from one of my most recent obsessions – "Show Me What I'm Looking For" by Carolina Liar. **


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